Friday, January 21, 2005

A question of ethics

I received the following e-mail from my cousin,Risa.She asked me to post this on my blog so that she could get other people's opinions on what she should do. She is 38 and has been married to her husband Al for 7 years, I believe. (Sorry if I got that wrong!)

Any way, this is what I was thinking if possible, to ask in your blog.

Recently, a man in his seventies at the pier who I work with asked me out for coffee. He caught me off guard, so I said sure and blew it off.

Then two days later he asked me out for coffee on a day that we don't work. He gave me his phone number.

I told Al about the "meeting for coffee" when Bob first asked and Al said sure but then when I brought home Bob's phone number two days later,he said to tell Bob that he didn't like it.I don't want to go any way and threw out the number.

Bob and I are acquaintances but then it made me mad. Shouldn't he take his wife out for coffee instead of a woman in her thirties? I mean what kind of person does he think I am? I just know that it's inappropriate. It just bothers me that he had the nerve.

I don't want to be naive but I don't like hurting people's feelings either.

This week end I'm going to tell Bob that I'm just too busy. Which is the truth and if he pushes for another time, I will tell him that it's really not appropriate. What do you think????

I did bring up the fact that what if the roles were reversed and a woman in her seventies asked him out for coffee. Al said it would be different. He was so funny. He said that he doesn't drink coffee.

It basically depends on the woman. Women can be just as bad.

Let me know what you think. The consensus is that it's inappropriate. The age ranges are from late twenties all the way up to early seventies. A couple of
responses were a quick yes but then once they thought about it, the answer was a definite no.

My opinion is this: I don't really think any married person should invite another married person of the opposite sex out for anything. I can't see any situation where I would invite a married guy out for coffee and I love coffee!
I would say,"No,thank you," to any invitation from any married or single man of any age. To me, that is very inappropriate.

What do you think?

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