Friday, October 07, 2011

I happen to like the song Super Bass by Nicki Manaj but I couldn’t understand a lot of the words. Thank goodness for Google. Sadly, reading the lyrics didn’t shed any light on my quest for understanding this catchy little tune. I have copied part of the lyrics here and I’ve made a couple of comments. If you have any other thoughts about this song please feel free to leave your own comments.

I said, excuse me you're a hell of a guy I mean my, my, my, my you're like pelican fly

(I’ve been in love a time or two but I’ve never complimented anyone by saying they were like pelican fly. What does that even mean? Pelicans often fly in a V pattern. Is there some underlying message that I am missing here?)

I mean, you're so shy and I'm loving your tie

(I feel pretty certain that Nicki Manaj is not in any type of relationship with a guy wearing a TIE. Maybe I’m just assuming she’s involved with thugs since her language is hardly that of a lady. If I have made an unfair assumption I will apologize to Ms. Manaj)

You're like slicker than the guy with the thing on his eye, oh
(What kind of thing does this guy have on his eye? Since I work for an ophthalmology practice I have seen some grotesque growths on the lids of our patients. All I can picture is some guy with a huge stye ready to burst open at the seams. Ya….that is pretty slick, isn’t it?)

Yes I did, yes I did Somebody please tell him who the eff I is
( Nice effin’ language, Nicki! Really nice.)

I am Nicki Minaj, I mack them dudes up
(Now this part is sweet. The best I can figure is she is making mac & cheese for all the dudes. That is what “make them dudes up” means, right?)

Back coupes up, and chuck the deuce up
( I wish I could find an interpretation for this but I am totally at a loss. Is it about parking cars? Back the coupes up?.....anyone…..Bueller?.....Bueller?)

I totally give up!

Wednesday, October 05, 2011

My Sweet Daughter

This morning I woke Lillianna up at 6:30am. She immediately sat up, rubbed her eyes and smiled at me. "Good morning,Mom. Thanks for waking me up." Her sweetness touched my heart. It was such a pleasant start to my day as it always is.

Thirty minutes later it was time for me to leave. Lillianna was dressed for school and sitting on the couch. I picked up my things for work and said, "Bye Sweetie. I love you."

Lillianna hopped off the couch, threw her arms around me and said, "You're the best Mom ever! Have a great day at work. I love you!!" I nearly cried. It's such a blessing to have such sweetness in the morning. what really happened this morning?

I woke Lillianna up at 6:30am. That much was true. When I asked her if she was up she grumbled some muffled sounds which sounded like a wounded animal. I took that as a "yes" and left the room. Shortly thereafter I heard more muttering. I just ignored it and enjoyed my breakfast.

I gathered my things to leave for work and just as I was about to walk out the door I said, "Bye Sweetie. I love you." There was a pause. Nothing was said so I said to myself, "Bye Mom. Have a great day at work. I love you." My sarcasm was lost on my cranky child. Finally she said, "Toodles!"

I said,"If this is the last time you see me, do you want "toodles" to be the final thing that you said to me? Really?" She thought for a second and then said "Toodles" again.

Rich said,"If this really is the last thing you say to your mother then I am having the word TOODLES tattooed on your forehead so that you can see it every time you look in the mirror. Better yet, I'll have your mother's face tattoed on your forehead! How about that?"
I told him I thought it was a good plan and I left for work.

Thank goodness I lived through the day so that Lillianna has another chance to show how much she loves me. Tomorrow's another day.

Saturday, March 05, 2011

Just call her Lilly

I named my daughter Lillianna because I thought that was a beautiful name.....I still do. I either call her Lillianna or Noodle. I usually only call her Lilly when I'm upset because it sounds more strict....LIL-LY,2 harsh syllables to indicate I mean business.

Lillianna sounds more like a pretty melody so I don't normally call her that when I'm displeased. Noodle is just a cutie pie name that I have used for years and it is never used when she is being grounded.

That being said, I almost always refer to her as Lillianna in any correspondence which would include Face Book. She informed me the other day that she does not like my refering to her as Lillianna since she is simply Lilly now and all her friends know her as Lilly. That kind of made me sad because I know how this all came to be and it started in elementary school.

I don't know if her kindergarten teacher was the first but I know that it hit me by
2nd grade that the teachers couldn't manage to pronounce my child's name. They wanted to say Lilly-AH-na instead of Lilly-ANN-a. When I corrected them they said, "I'll just call her Lilly."

Don't get me wrong. I am not opposed to nick names. I had always wanted one of my own when I was a kid but other than Kara calling me Ra-Ra because she couldn't say Robin when she was little, I never really had a nick name. I've come to terms with that over the years so I'm totally fine with it.

I'm also not opposed to nick names in general but when Lillianna asked me to use the name Lilly on Face Book instead of Lillianna I felt a pang of sadness come over me. To the world she will be Lilly, I guess, but to me she will always be Lillianna.

Saturday, February 05, 2011

It's's Phat with a PH

I'm not a big fan of slang. I remember when I was 13 and I went to San Diego to stay with my cousin Becky for 3 weeks and we laughed at each other's expressions. She couldn't understand "wicked good" since wicked means bad. How could something be
bad-good? It didn't make sense to her even after I explained that wicked just meant "very." We didn't use it in terms of wicked meaning something bad. It seemed perfectly normal to me.

I remember choking on my Dr.Pepper and how the carbonation hurt as it shot out through my nose when Becky said her mother "was going to have a cow." The image in my head was so bizarre I didn't know what to say. She didn't know why I was so hysterical. She just meant her mother was going to be upset. I'll probably never get that image out of my head!

So here we are in 2011 and I know the phat word has been around for a few years now but I heard it on tv the other day and it disturbed me. My guess is that it was created by some passive-aggressive person who was too afraid to say what he meant. Like the disgruntled silent suffering mate in a bad relationship who couldn't quite call it quits. As his girlfriend entered the room feeling wonderful, he looked at her with the intent to insult her and before he knew it the words flew out of his mouth, "'re really fat in that outfit."

Realizing he actually said what he was hoping to just think, he had to make a quick save as his girlfriend burst into hysterical tears.

"Oh honey, I didn't mean that in a bad way. I meant you look beautiful."
"But you said I looked FAT!" she sobbed.
After a moment's thought the boyfriend replied, "Oh misunderstood me. I didn't mean fat with an F, I meant phat with a P.H."
"There's no such word," she says but still remains hopeful.
"Yes, it's a new slang word. It means beautiful, wonderful, fantastic....the best!"
And they live happily ever after.....ya right!

Matty in the morning on KISS 108 FM claims you can take the sting out of anything bad by just adding "dude" to the end of your sentence.
"Your breath stinks.....dude." Doesn't sound so bad. Sounds kind of helpful.Good dental hygiene is important.

"Your wife is cheating on you....dude." Just giving you a head's up, my friend.
He kind of has a point there.

So here's my point. I'm just going to make stuff up.If PHAT is ok then PHUCK should be ok long as it's spelled with a PH.

I can say, "Phuck you!" and if anyone looks at me strangely or gets mad I'll just explain, "You've got it all wrong. I said F*&^ with a know....the good kind. It means have a nice day." I'm sure that person will see the light, hug me and say, "Well then, phuck you too." We'll be life long friends, I'm sure.

Let's go one better and add a silent H at the beginning of a word. You could say to your spouse, "Oh my God, you are such a hmoron!!" When he/she gets insulted you just reply, "I didn't mean moron. I said hmoron, you know, with a silent H at the beginning. It means "best person in the world."

Ah....what a passive-aggressive nation we've become.
What's your new word?