Wednesday, June 30, 2004

Listen to your parents!

Rich came home from work with an interesting story yesterday.He works with a 17 year old boy whose parents went to Cape Cod for a week for a vacation. He is home with his 19 year old brother and 12 year old sister. The one thing their dad said before he left was
"Do not drive my new truck!" Their dad is 47 years old and he had JUST BOUGHT his first new vehicle.

So, the 17 year old gets a call yesterday morning from his 19 year old brother. He told him the police had him because he had a car accident and he had to go pick him up. The 17 year old was still asleep and thought this was a joke. He looked out the window and told his brother he could see his car in the street so he was going back to sleep. His brother said, "I didn't take MY car. I took DAD'S car!" He looked in the garage and sure enough Dad's brand new truck was gone....gone!!

Apparently the 19 year old ran a red light and had an accident and TOTALED his dad's truck! Now he's afraid to tell his dad. HMMMMMM.....I wonder why that is?

So kids, listen to your parents and when they say not to do something...DON'T DO IT!!

Mother knows best

I have a post over at DotMoms today

Monday, June 28, 2004

Family fun

Yesterday we went to New Hampshire to celebrate my niece's 12th birthday. The 3 of us headed out at 6:30am. We stopped at our favorite breakfast restaurant and enjoyed a great meal before we buckled up for the long drive ahead of us. The 2 1/2 hours in the car just flew by this time! We sang along with "Moose tunes", "Lisa Loeb" and "Huey Lewis". We played "punch buggy" and we laughed all the way to New Hampshire. Yes, we laughed, you know, like people do when they are happy. Happy! We have been stressed out for so long we forgot we could actually laugh.

As with most family get togethers there is always some level of stress and tension that we just have to deal with at such a gathering. When you put so many people together there is bound to be people who don't like one another. This is definitely true with Rich's family. We all seemed to work through it without too much trouble this time and for that I was quite relieved.

The day was surprisingly wonderful. My niece M had her friends over for a pool party for this birthday celebration and the girls were fantastic. They were kind to each other and to the younger children who ranged in age from 6 to 9 years old. The kids swam in the pool, played games and had a great day. I found myself relaxing, yes, relaxing for the first time in ages! I sat in the sun and enjoyed myself. I had forgotten what that was all about.

We finally headed out at 8:45pm and arrived home at midnight. None of us actually wanted to leave but Rich had to be at work this morning so we couldn't spend the night. I was so surprised that everyone had gotten along so well throughout the day.

This is what I had always dreamed a get-together with Rich's family would be. Maybe there is hope for all of us after all!

John is home!

John came home from the hospital yesterday. Lillianna and I went to see him today. He is doing really well although he is still in a lot of pain. That is to be expected considering he had his chest cut open and his heart taken out! That was quite an operation.

He realizes how lucky he is that he got a second chance. His outlook seemed different today. I think he has finally realized that he hasn't been LIVING over the years and now he seems to be looking forward to taking a different path. I am happy for him. We should all try to live each day to the fullest. We never know when today could be our last day.

Friday, June 25, 2004

Comments, anyone?

Well I don't know how I did it but I upgraded my comments to Halo Scan!
I attempted this 3 times before tonight and it wouldn't work. In fact it totally distorted my whole blog until I deleted it. Well, maybe I was due for some type of miracle so it worked tonight. I would have preferred a huge cash windfall but if all I get is Halo Scan then I will take it! This should make leaving comments easier for everyone!

Good news

Just a quick update. John's heart beat has returned to normal. He has been moved out of ICU and he should be coming home on Monday! We spoke to him today and he sounded good.
Thanks again to all of you who have been keeping him in your thoughts and prayers.

128 years ago today

June 25, 1876.....that was the day George Custer died at The Little Big Horn. How do I know this? Rich is a huge Custer fan. We have a giant lithograph of Custer hanging in our living room. When Lillianna was younger she thought he was a relative! His picture is the biggest one in the house so OF COURSE she thought he was someone special.

Rich has admired Custer's strength and ability as a leader even though there have been many controversial things said over the years about him. Rich knows just about everything regarding Custer's life so that spills into my life and whether I want to or not I ended up learning history! It's a good thing too, since I didn't learn a bit of history in high school!

There will be a very special toy soldier show in Boston next year and Rich will be painting the battle of The Little Big Horn to enter in a competition. I think Custer would be proud! I know Lillianna and I are very proud of Rich and his painting talent.

Thursday, June 24, 2004

Strawberry picking

On June 17th I wrote about strawberry picking over at Dotmoms. I finally figured out how to link my blog to Dotmoms with the correct code to get it to come up to the strawberry picking post and somehow everything got deleted over here.
So....if you want to read about our trip to the strawberry patch please check it out.

John's health update

I talked to my Mom tonight and she said John had improved today and was up and walking. Later in the day his heart beat became irregular and there was sugar in his urine. They gave him new heart meds and an injection of insulin. The surgeon assured my Mom that this was all perfectly normal and not to worry. How the heck do you do that?

John's attitude changed when all this happened and he returned to bed feeling defeated. His heart beat is still irregular and it could return to normal today, tomorrow or 2 weeks from now. Either way they say "it's normal."

Thanks to all of you have sent your kind thoughts and prayers. I really appreciate it.

Tuesday, June 22, 2004

Just in time!

Today John was taken to a hospital in Boston for some tests. Yesterday he was told "something was brewing" and boy oh boy that something was blocked arteries.Apparently the first artery had a 95% blockage. He was rushed into surgery for what was supposed to be a triple bypass but turned into a quadruple bypass! The surgery started at 4:00pm and I finally heard from Mom after 10:00pm saying he got through it. The doctors still wanted Mom and John's family to stay for 2 more hours "just in case." I hate that phrase. They said it was a serious surgery and you just never know what could happen.
When the doctor did the testing this morning he told John that if he had waited one more day he would've died! It was a good thing Mom took him to the hospital yesterday! It's a real good thing!

Monday, June 21, 2004

Lillianna's Papa

Mom and John have been together for 14 years. My dad died 16 1/2 years ago and Rich's dad died 5 weeks after Lillianna was born. John is the only Papa that Lillianna has ever known.

Mom called around 6:15pm to say that John was in the hospital. He hadn't been feeling well for a week or so and today after doing yard work he really didn't feel well. Mom insisted on taking him to the hospital.

Apparently he didn't have a heart attack but the doctor said, "Something is brewing." He is in ICU of a local hospital but tomorrow he will be transfered to a hospital in Boston for further tests.

Lillianna has been agitated and teary since I told her the news after I first spoke to Mom. I have assured her that Papa will be fine and that Nana got him to the hospital before anything serious happened. She has been waiting for hours for my mom to call back with an update but it's now 10pm and I can't reach mom at home or on her cell phone.
Lillianna has finally fallen asleep on my bed.

I just want to hear from my mom that John will be ok. He can be challenging sometimes but he adores Lillianna. He is putty in her hands. All she has to do is ask for something and John grants her every wish. He takes her for walks and bike rides. He dances and sings with her. She adores him.

I hope mom calls soon.

Sunday, June 20, 2004


I am at work, Lillianna is with Kara for the day and Rich is home relaxing. Well, I hope he is relaxing. I did leave a huge pile of dirty Tupperware in the sink this morning from my 3 meals at work yesterday. Sorry, honey!

On this Father's Day I would like to say thank you to Rich for being such a great Daddy and husband! My own father who I loved dearly didn't even think about doing housework. His idea of "helping" Mom was to lift his feet up while lounging in his recliner so that Mom could vacuum underneath! Every few years or so he repainted the wall in the livingroom. He mowed the lawn when nagged and shoveled when necessary. He worked hard for his family and we adored him.

Rich is a different kind of guy. He does the laundry at night and thoroughly cleans the apartment on Saturdays and Sundays when I am at work. He plays endless games with Lillianna: wiffle ball, frisbee,cards,Pretty Pretty Princess,Chutes and Ladders,marbles,thumb wrestling and war games when he has time to set that up. He takes her on "nature" walks which consists of him carrying her on his shoulders while he walks through the trails. He takes her to the park to feed the ducks. He runs after her while she rides her bike or Barbie scooter.
He does funny things to make us laugh. Let me tell you, we do laugh a lot in our house because Rich is quite comical.

So for all you do for our family, Rich, we want to say thank-you and we love you!

Make up your damn mind, already!!

I read something this morning in Reader's Digest that totally made me want to scream. Apparently there is a new title for "vegetarians" who like to eat meat. I had thought those were the people who didn't eat meat. Silly me.

I wouldn't call them anything at all. Would you? I eat meat and vegetables. I always have. You don't hear me going around calling myself an omnivore.That's what I am but I keep it to myself. Is it important to announce it to the public? However, for those "vegetarians" who have now decided to eat meat too there is a new title......."FLEXITARIANS!" Can you believe this? Are you a vegetarian or aren't you? Make up your damn mind!

Now I have nothing against anyone's beliefs at all. My dear friend Cheryl is a vegan and for her it is a decision based on her belief that it is not right to eat animals. She doesn't make me feel like a jerk if she is eating a salad and I am gnawing on a cow in front of her. We respect each other's right to choose what to eat.
Now if at some point Cheryl's view changes and she decides that a plate of sirloin tips is just what she needs then she will not be calling herself a vegan. Why? BECAUSE SHE IS NOT A LUNATIC, THAT'S WHY!!

The person who came up with flexitarian is an idiot. Why does everything need a damn title? You eat meat and vegetables?....well good for you. I personally am on a low carb diet. Am I a lowcarbian? Do I need to call myself something? Do you all have to know what my personal food choices are? If so, WHY?
Knowing someone is a vegan is important because their food choices are quite different. If we are eating together I do not want to make a meat sauce for our pasta. That would be inconsiderate and downright rude. What is this obsession with having a name for everything?

What do you consider yourself to be? Make up any title and let me know!

Friday, June 18, 2004

I hate stupid people!

Lillianna and I had a million errands to do today. I thought we would be out for 3 hours or less but 6 1/2 hours later we were finally headed home.

I pulled out of the mall and tried to merge into the traffic without being killed. I inched forward slowly and then the traffic stopped although the light up ahead was green. As I approached the gas station, a huge white truck/van looked like it was going to pull out suddenly in front of me. Since I was stopped in front of the gas station entrance anyways, I decided not to move until the white truck/van crossed the road.

The Bitch in the white Lexus in back of me beeped furiously.
I looked in my rear view mirror at her, gestured wildly and yelled "What are you, A MORON?" I mean seriously, what the heck did she want me to do? If I tried to get by the white truck, he would've plowed into the right side of my car. The truck was twice the size of my Toyota Camry! It looked like it would eat my car as an appetizer.

So how would that have made the Bitch any happier? If the truck and I collided the Bitch would've been stuck behind me forever as we filled out info for our insurance, right?

It was smooth driving for about 5 minutes until I turned down a long road and saw an ambulance coming my way. I looked in my mirror and the car behind me was about 6 car lengths away. I put on my directional and pulled over to the side of the road to let the ambulance by.
The car behind me whizzed right by, as did the car behind that one!

What is wrong with these people? AN AMBULANCE IS APPROACHING! I was happy when the ambulance made it's honking sound at the two cars for not pulling over. Why would you not pull over for an ambulance? Why? Why? Why?

So to all the stupid people I encountered on the road today......Try to use a little common sense. The life you save may be your own or mine and my daughter's. Drive responsibly!

Thursday, June 17, 2004

Men! You can't live with 'em and you can't shoot 'em!

I used to own a key chain with that saying on it. I had a whole male bashing key chain collection that I threw away when Rich and I got together 11 years ago. My other treasures said, "I BRAKE FOR MEN AND OTHER HELPLESS ANIMALS!" "IF WE CAN SEND MAN TO THE MOON, WHY NOT ALL OF THEM?" I can't remember the rest.

My point is, men are tricky creatures to live with for us women.

This morning Rich came out of the bathroom after his shower and his face was clean shaven. I went over to him to touch his nice smooth skin. I smiled and said, "You shaved."

He frowned and said, "I'm out of shaving cream."

"Oh. Well if you told me that you were running low the last time you shaved and noticed the can was getting lighter then you would've had a full can today!" I pointed out helpfully.

He said, "Oh and I need more real soap!"

Lillianna and I use body wash. Rich likes a nice bar of Ivory for himself.

I looked at him and said, "Why didn't you tell me all this before?"

He looked at me and said, "I'm telling you now!"
I just sighed. After all these years I think it's hopeless!

Circus peanuts? You like circus peanuts?

One day, many years ago, Rich and I were shopping when suddenly he yelled, "Circus peanuts! I love circus peanuts!" I spun around and looked at him as if he were an alien.
"Circus peanuts? You love circus peanuts?........Since when?" I asked suspiciously.

"I have always loved them. I think I will get some," he said as he grabbed a package off the shelf.

"Wait just a minute. We have been married for 3 years now and you have never, I repeat NEVER shown an interest in circus peanuts.If you loved them so much why didn't you ever tell me?" I asked while tapping my foot and glaring at him.

He shrugged his shoulders and said, "You never asked!"

I know there are many topics of conversation that people have when they first meet, when they date and even when they marry. There has never been a moment when I have thought to ask, "So, do you , uhm, like....circus peanuts?" The question has never occured to me because I HATE CIRCUS PEANUTS! What the heck are they, anyway? Spun sugar that is molded into a peanut shape and colored orange? Peanuts are brown! Are they really and truly orange at the circus? Or are they supposed to represent the big floppy shoes of a circus clown? Because I have eaten circus peanuts and if I had to choose between eating a circus peanut or a floppy clown shoe.....I'd take the shoe!

Tuesday, June 15, 2004

How did I get hooked on another reality show?

When this year's American Idol started Rich made me sit with him to watch the auditions. I had never seen Idol 1 or 2 but it sounded rather boring. People sing for hours? Who cares?
I sat through all the crazy people who couldn't carry a tune and when it was time for the "real" contest to begin, Rich wasn't interested anymore. He only likes the audtions. I said, "Listen YOU....I sat through the screamers and screechers for you. Now I want to watch the contest!"

So we watched and watched and I cheered for LaToya who we were sure would be our next American Idol. Even after she was cut and I wanted to turn off the tv we still continued to watch. I was aggravated that Fantasia won because her voice gets on my nerves.
I vowed to never watch another reality tv show. I can't stand being so involved in TV!

Rich was out tonight so I flipped through the channels looking for something good to watch. "Last Comic Standing" caught my eye. Damn if it's not ANOTHER REALITY TV SHOW! Ya I watched it for an hour tonight and I was happy with 4 of the 5 top picks. It's on tomorrow night while I am at work. I wonder if Rich will watch it for me!

Nana is a pushover!

Lillianna was at my mom's house today while I was at work. Mom bought her 2 bathing suits and 2 pair of flip flops while they were at the mall. Lillianna asked to look in the Build-a-Bear store so of course my mom let her. Lillianna's stuffed dog Kayleigh got a new skirt and top set for only $12!
Mom also bought Lillianna an order of lo-mein because it's her favorite!
Lillianna's Nana is a pushover! Thanks Mom!

Monday, June 14, 2004

Lillianna's dance recital

Read about Lillianna's recital at DotMoms

A Kibbutz in America?

I wish someone would start a kibbutz in America. I miss that life so much.I know there is a war going on in Israel so there is no chance of me getting back there any time soon. I think the kibbutz life was a great way for a family to connect. That is what is lacking in my life: time to enjoy my husband and daughter on a daily basis.

When I lived on the kibbutz I had an Israeli friend named Tammi. She and her husband Jackie lived in the city when they were first married. Then Adam was born. Jackie got up before Tammi every morning and went to work. Tammi got up,dressed and fed Adam and dropped him off at day care on her way to work. She worked until 5pm and then picked Adam up, went food shopping for dinner and went home. She bathed and fed Adam and put him to bed. At 7pm Jackie came home and he had dinner with Tammi and then they both fell asleep exhausted. They worked hard for the things they wanted:cars,clothes,nights out,vacations. Finally they were sick of that life and moved to the kibbutz.

A typical kibbutz day had the same components but the feeling and the outcome were quite different.
Jackie went to work at 4:30am in the optical lens factory. Tammi went to work at 6:00am in the dining room. At 8:00am they both met at the childrens' house where Adam slept and spent his day with other children his age. They spent 15 minutes saying good morning and helping Adam with his breakfast. Then the couple headed off to the main dining room to eat breakfast TOGETHER. At 9:00am they went back to their jobs. Both of them ended their work day by 2:00pm! They had 2 free hours before picking Adam up at his "house." Most people napped during that time due to the severe heat.

At 4:00pm they picked up Adam and had until 9:00pm to bond as a family.They had the option of making dinner in their own house or eating in the main dining room where dinner was already prepared. They had five hours every day to relax and enjoy one another. FIVE HOURS! I don't know if I have had five hours to enjoy my family this week! That seems like a dream come true!

Rich and I are running around working all the time and no matter what we do it doesn't seem to be enough.
I would love to try out the kibbutz life and see what it's like now that I am married. I know that life isn't perfect but it sure sounds better than the frantic race for the almighty dollar!

Friday, June 11, 2004

Boggled by blogs

I am still trying to put my favorite blog links on the side here but even though Jess sent me the formula, it hasn't been working! Dotmoms won't appear at all. Baby tails has been successful although it runs into chez miscarriage and won't be separated no matter how hard I try. They are BOTH waaaaaay at the bottom for some unknown reason. They were happily on the side earlier today.

How difficult can this be? As Rich always says, "What am I? A CHIMP?" Why can't I do this? I already played around with the links for one hour this morning. Now it's time to pay some bills and get ready for Lillianna's dress rehearsal at 3:00pm. Did I mention I don't have the charger for the video recorder battery? I didn't? Well now I have. Who knows where the heck it is?

I will take lots of pictures and scrap book them instead of the video. So I stink as a mom. What else is new? I suppose I can buy the grainy DVD they take at the recital. Lillianna will look like an ant in a tutu! The video people are clueless. They don't understand that we would actually like to see our child's face!

There was no real reason for this post other than I am frustrated and oh ya FRUSTRATED!

Maybe tomorrow will be a better day. How could working for 14 hours not be fun??

Thursday, June 10, 2004

The Ice Man Cometh

I am addicted to ice cubes. Oh, I don't chew them but I simply must put them in every glass of water that I drink.(That's a lot of cubes!!) I buy 2 bags of ice cubes per week. Rich once said, "You know, it's too bad they don't make some type of plastic device in squares where you could add water and make your own ice cubes." I rolled my eyes at him and walked away. Who could make that many ice cubes in one day?

I just got home from food shopping at 11pm. I bought lots of stuff for the freezer and of course I bought my precious bag of ice cubes. When I took a peak in there all I could see was chaos: 2 containers of ice cream (on sale, buy one get one free!), frozen chicken dinners for Rich when I am at work and lots of other foods. Where the heck would my big bag of ice go?

Rich scooted me out of the way as he re-organized the freezer. "Trust me. I am the ice man! I will fix it for you." I watched in amazement as he made room for my bag of ice. I gave him a big hug. He said, "I told you I could make room for your ice. Now you can write about me in your blog." And so I did! THANKS, HONEY! You are my one and only ice man.

The reason I almost stopped writing

I have a problem with people criticizing my writing. I guess most of us do. Who likes to hear "This would be great if we took out this and changed that and oh definitely get rid of this over here....?" That's why when I was asked to submit a piece of writing to DotMoms a few months ago, I hesitated. How would I feel if I wrote something that I was really proud of and Julie, the editor, told me it was horrible and I had to do it over again? Could I do it? Isn't that what being a writer is all about? Even the great authors have an editor. They know re-writes are a part of their job. Why was this an issue for me? Let's go back to my 9th grade English class.

Mrs. Noonan was a nice teacher. We all liked her. She knew who her "serious" students were and I was pleased to be in that group. I loved English class. At the end of the year she told us we were going to be writing a symbolic poem. Yay! Poetry! By this time I had already been writing poems for 5 years. I wrote them for myself and for my sister, Kara, who enjoyed hearing them. She thought I was reading from a book! She was a great audience.

When I was 15 yrs old I was boy crazy like all girls are at that age. I had many girl friends and a few boy friends but no "boyfriends". It seemed like everyone on the planet had a boyfriend except for me. If I looked at this realistically, my 3 closest friends, Liane, Elissa and Theresa, did not have boyfriends at this time either but I didn't see that for some reason. So it was with this hopeful wish in my heart that I wrote my poem.

When Mrs. Noonan read it she said it was wonderful BUT...(Why is there always a damn BUT? Why?)
Ok, I braced myself for her wise words of wisdom. She wanted me to change the last sentence so it would be in iambic pentameter. By doing this she changed the entire meaning of my poem.
Here is how I wrote it:

The Little Boat

There's a little boat upon the sea
stranded all alone
waiting for a wave to come
to take her safely home

The boat floats far,the boat floats near
the wave is not in sight
the little boat floats all alone
every day and night

One sunny day a wave comes by
the boat's no longer alone
then she sees a very sad sight
he's taking another boat home

The little boat drifts on and on
hoping that maybe someday
a beautiful wave will come again
and this time, take her away.

The whole point was that "this time" it was her turn. "THIS TIME" was very important to me. Mrs. Noonan wanted it to say ...a beautiful wave will come again and take her far away." NO! NO!NO! She isn't going "far away." She doesn't want to be in some distant place. For goodness sake, she just wanted a boyfriend. He wasn't going to take her to Bora Bora, maybe just to a movie or something. How hard was this to comprehend?
So I had a choice: keep my poem as I wrote it and get a "B" or "C" OR choose what's behind door #2 and Change it and get an "A". That killed me. She destroyed my writing and changed it's meaning. I cried over this decision and then I decided that my desire for an "A" was greater than my desire to prove my point. I sold out! I sold out!

After that I decided never to show my writing to another human being again. How can what I write be wrong? It was too heartbreaking to go through ever again. Over the years I did manage to write some poems for people I trusted. They loved it and I felt "safe".But still,in the back of my head I always hear Mrs. Noonan and her criticism and I am scared to place my writing in front of a stranger.

Writing for DotMoms has been a good experience for me. Julie is kind and patient. She is a great editor. While she was on vacation she had 2 fill-in editors. I submitted a story to Lori who emailed me back with changes. I almost had an anxiety attack. Flashbacks to 9th grade were overwhelming me. I wanted to yell, "Leave me alone. I want to say it this way! Why can't I do it my way?" Lori was very nice about asking for the changes that she wanted but all I could hear in my head was that she wanted it HER way. I did make some changes but it still wasn't how she was hoping it would be. My heart was racing. Was I willing to sell out again? What was more important to me: writing it my way and not getting it published or doing it her way and seeing it on DotMoms?

I thanked Lori for her time and her offer to help me rewrite it. I decided to delete my story and not have it posted at all. Lori said she was sorry that we didn't see eye to eye on this story and so was I.
I wonder if I will ever be ok with rewrites. Maybe someday....but definitely not today!

Wednesday, June 09, 2004

Still missing Daddy

Last night Lillianna and I went to Kara's house to look at old pictures. I am trying to put a scrapbook together for mom's birthday in July so I am gathering all the wonderful memories that I can. It's still amazing to see me holding Kara when she first came home from the hospital. I was 11 1/2 when she was born. The early pictures really show the age difference.

We were fighting over who got to hold the loose pictures as we both looked through them. We were each trying to hold on so tightly to the past. The first picture we came to of Daddy stopped my heart. Then another and another. My heart aches every time I see his smiling face and twinkling eyes. He died when he was 51 of a heart attack. So sudden. So very unexpected. It will be 17 years in September since he passed away and yet every time I see a picture of him it brings me back to that horrible day when we got the news.

Over the years I have been able to cope with this loss as I have with the loss of my wonderful Nana and Papa. I have told Lillianna many stories of Charlie.My dad was a funny funny guy. He always had a smile and kind word for everyone. He did good deeds for people and never expected anything in return. Everyone who knew him, loved him.Whenever my parents were invited somewhere, their friends would ask, "Is Charlie going?" That would guarantee they all had a good time. Daddy always said, "You have to make your own good time." I was so proud that he was my father. My friends thought he was cool. He was so much fun to be around.

Last week, Kara's boyfriend Peter lost his beloved father. It was sudden and unexpected. Peter and his dad were the best of friends. My heart broke for his loss and then again for my loss. It always comes back to Daddy. No matter how much love I have in my life there will always be a part of me that is missing. The space only Daddy could fill.

Tuesday, June 08, 2004

The last day of school

Today is Lillianna's last day of kindergarten. I know I should be somewhat sad. My "baby" will be entering first grade in a few months and becoming a "big girl". All I can think about is WE CAN SLEEP LATE TOMORROW MORNING!.

I am so tired of waking up at 6am every morning and running her to the bus stop at 7:25am. I have 3 hours in which to shower, eat breakfast, clean and then go get her at 10:30am. That is, if it's not Tuesday when I leave for work at 7am. That's the weekday morning I wake up at 5am! I always wake up at 5am on the weekends for work.

As usual, we have lots to do today. I am going to walk away from the computer now and clean up this place. It looks like our house was burglarized or that we are in the process of moving but the truth is: we are 3 messy people. This might take all day!

Even G-d had a day of rest. Why don't I????

What was I thinking?

Starting my own blog was a great idea, right? I must've forgotten that I know nothing about computers! I have read the instructions for links about a million times. It all sounds like Charlie Brown's teacher to me, "Waaaah waaaah waaaaah." I desperately want to add a link to each blog I read, but I am clueless as to how to get this done. Can someone who is computer challenged still have a successful blog?

Monday, June 07, 2004

Rules of the road

To the man who was in front of me today at the intersection,

I am sure you were in a hurry. Hey, who isn't? But you failed to be a gentleman who followed the rules of the road. I assume you can read, although with statistics being what they are, maybe you can't! The sign clearly stated NO TURN ON RED. Let me explain this to you. This means that although you don't feel like stopping at the intersection like the rest of us, you still must stop! Yes this does actually apply to you! So when you came to a rolling stop and then turned right you were breaking the law. You could've caused an accident since other cars were expecting you to stay put!
In the future, if you are planning on being a moron, stay home!

Our Jellybean Story

This is our cotton candy jellybean story.

On October 2,1993 my friend Kristy invited me to her house to meet some guy who was visiting from California. He was a friend of Mingo's, who we had met on New Years eve 9 months earlier.

I was not in a good mood at this point in my life. I was a single Jewish 30 year old woman without a boyfriend. . Everyone said,"You're such a nice girl...and you can COOK.You'll meet someone."
I didn't want to be a chef for some guy, I wanted a boyfriend who was not a moron who I might want to marry at some point in time.You know, someone decent.

I reluctantly went to Kristy's house as promised. Sitting at her kitchen table was this really cute guy. I was absolutely pissed off at this point. Ya he was cute.......and married!!!!!
I am pretty old-fashioned about marriage vows. I didn't care if he was in the most miserable marriage in history. The guy had a wife! I'm not a risk taker to begin with so I wasn't going to pursue all!

I walked over to the table and then walked away. I was just so angry at everyone. Why parade this cutie pie guy in front of me who is absolutely unavailable? Why? Why? Why?

I walked into the living room and chatted with some other friends. I was frantically popping cotton candy jellybeans into my mouth. I'm a stress eater so I was hoping the little bag of beans would get me through. I really needed a barrel of jellybeans!
I finally went back to the kitchen and uttered my first words to Rich. In my rudest and most pissy tone I demanded, "Can ya move?" He scooted over and I dragged a chair over and sat next to him. I probably rolled my eyes at him. Ya, I wasn't very nice, to say the least. Did I mention he was married???

My sister Kara, who has never hung out with me, happened to be at Kristy's house on this night. She is 12 years younger than me so we weren't "pals" at this point in our lives. She called me aside and nodded her head in Rich's direction. "Go for it," she instructed me. As Junie B. Jones would say, "I did a big huffy breath at that girl." "Kara, there is no way I am going to 'go for it'! He is married, 4 years younger than me and he lives in California! Ya, that's gonna happen!" I walked back to my chair. Was she kidding? I couldn't even get single guys so why would I even try for this guy? Why couldn't she just admit this situation was hopeless?

I ignored him as best as I could but he was funny. I always wanted to meet someone with a sense of humor.He was a cross between John Goodman,Billy Crystal and Robin Williams. Who could resist such a guy?
Rich's friend, Sal, was trying to help him impress me so he said that Rich could write a song about anything.Then Sal said, "Go ahead and give him any line and he can write a song about it. Go ahead!"
I took a pen and piece of paper and wrote, "If only life was as simple as cotton candy jellybeans." I smirked at Rich and challenged him, "Here ya go. Write a song!"

He said he would meet me back at Kristy's house after the baby shower Kristy and I were going to on the next day. I went home feeling queasy. I wanted to laugh and cry but mostly puke my guts out. That's love for ya! I felt like someone had thrown a cannon ball at my stomach and it was stuck there. I sighed during the whole shower. My heart felt heavy. Kristy finally spun around in her chair and said, "You're in love with him!" I didn't even try to deny it. What was the point? But what could I possibly do about it?

True to his word, Rich was at Kristy's house that afternoon. He handed me the song. I read it privately and I knew.I knew that he knew that we were in love with each other.
I clutched my stomach and then reached for Kristy. I staggered upstairs to her step-daughter's room. Everyone read it and shrieked, "Oh my G-d!! He's in love with you!" The song was basically about how Rich remembered me from past lives so when he saw me this time he knew me.

The beginning goes like this:

We met some years ago in another place and time
and forever through the ages
you've never left my mind.

Each place it has been different
no one person was the same
but I always knew, it was you
coming back again

If only life was as simple
as cotton candy jellybeans
then you would know
what I really mean
Cuz if life was as simple
as cotton candy jellybeans
you would know just what I'm saying
I've said it in your dreams.

Finally I got the courage to go downstairs and thank him for the song. I wanted him to sing it to me. We went upstairs and talked for an hour. Rich was too shy to sing the song but eventually he agreed to sing it to me. Everything is kind of a blur after that. We sat at the dining room table downstairs and we weren't touching but our arms were resting next to each other on the table. To this day everyone said they could see and feel the electricity between us.

We danced outside on the lawn at midnight to "Unforgettable". Rich said to me, "When I come back from California I am going to so make you fall in love with me." I said, "I already did."
We said goodbye the following evening.He headed home to his wife. He finally had the courage to divorce her. They hadn't been happy for the 2 years they had been married but no one was gutsy enough to do anything about it,until Rich and I met,that is.

Rich promised he would be back by Halloween and I wanted to believe him.I mustered up all my courage and looked into my heart and I hoped he would come home to me.Some of my mother's friends laughed and said,"Divorce his wife and move 3,000 miles away? Come on! They all say they're going to divorce their wife. They never do!" Then they'd shake their head at me and I would doubt myself. Could I really trust this guy? Could I trust myself to make the right choice?

Rich returned to me 26 days later and he had already filed for divorce.
We were married the following year. The inscription in my wedding band reads "cotton candy jellybeans" and Rich's reads "Unforgettable".

We both took a chance on love and it paid off for us. With the help of those cotton candy jellybeans we have been married for 10 years! It was the biggest risk of my life but I would do it all again in a heart beat.

My very first post!

Well here it is. A blog of my own. I am not sure what possessed me to suddenly want to do this but some of my best decisions have been done without thinking about the consequences.

When I lived on a kibbutz in Israel from 1985-1987 I had a wonderful friend, Charlotte, who was from Denmark. We were completely opposite and I loved her immediately. She was just so impulsive. One morning at breakfast she convinced me to go on a 2 day trip to Jericho with her and 2 other friends. My mind raced through the impossibilities.....How would I get 2 days off?, How would I get my money out of the safe in the volunteer office at 9am when we don't have access until 7pm? When would I pack? HOW would I pack? Everyone had a back pack but oh...not ME, I brought a piece of American Tourister luggage on wheels to Israel!!! Have you ever tried to travel with a suit case on wheels through Israel? No? Oh but you simply MUST. You will never forget the experience.
So anyway, Charlotte told me not to think about why I couldn't go but to think about how I could make it happen.

I relaxed, put on my "big girl pants" and went to my volunteer leader and apologized for interrupting his breakfast. I asked for the next 2 days off and he granted that request. He was also happy to open the safe for me to get out my money right after breakfast. Charlotte helped me pack in my small school back pack and put the rest of my stuff in her huge I am not American so I know how to travel back pack! She was awesome! I still laugh about the memories from that day and our unbelievably fun and exciting trip to Jericho! Thanks, Charlotte!

So it is with this attitude in mind that I started my own blog. I hope my friends who are continents away will read this and feel connected to me. My dearest Charlotte, who I miss and don't hear from enough. I hope you will read this and keep in touch with me more often. My "petal" Karen who I also lived with in Israel and love to pieces. She taught me what friendship is all about. She currently lives in England but is planning to move to Canada next year. We will practically be neighbors. My wonderful friend, Liane aka "Belle" who is currently in South Korea but will be moving again soon. Where the heck is Timbuktu anyways? I can't even remember where the next move will take her and her family.

So this is the end of my first post. I will use this blog to vent which is what I do best! and to share funny stories and probably some ramblings thrown in for fun.
I hope to hear from you!