Saturday, November 27, 2004

Chewing gum and feeling cool

I almost never chew gum anymore because it pulls my fillings out. My teeth are very sensitive. I chewed a lot of gum when I was pregnant,though. I felt like I couldn't get enough of it. I would buy 2 packs of every fruity gum I could find, chew a piece for 5 minutes, spit it out and chew another one. As the wrappers went flying through the air I would be foaming at the mouth trying to suck every last bit of flavor from the piece I was chewing. Rich would curl up in a ball far off in the corner, hoping my gum craving would be satisfied before the last piece was popped in my mouth. Sometimes he was lucky. Sometimes I would look at his terrified face and demand, "MORE GUM!!" He would immediately race out the front door, jump in the car and speed off to the nearest convenience store to replenish my gum supply.It was a scary time in his life. My obsession with gum was quite overwhelming. Once Lillianna was born, the craving disappeared.

I hate to admit this since I rarely let Lillianna chew gum but I always feel kind of cool when I am chewing it. I am not a chomper or snapper with my gum although you may catch me blowing the occasional bubble. I have always been a gum lover. Clove gum was always my favorite along with the Black Jack gum. The flavor only lasted for 3 chews but it was delicious. Today I chewed my first piece of gum in ages and damn it....I loved it!!

Are you a gum chewer? What is your favorite brand of gum?

Friday, November 26, 2004

Flying south

Lillianna and I are leaving for Florida in 6 days.I am finally going to get a chance to rest and relax.My usual worries about bills and the stress of work will be put on the back burner. My biggest decision in Florida will be,"Should we go to the pool first and then the beach or just skip the pool and head directly to the beach?" There will be no running around to see all my mom's friends that used to live in Massachusetts. We will not be busy. Mom promised not to make any plans for us at all.

I told Lillianna that she won't have any set bedtime on our vacation. She thought that was the best news she had ever heard. All I want to do is enjoy my time with my daughter and sit in the sun and swim. That's it! This will be the first time in 4 years that we have gone to visit mom. I will get to watch the sun rise over the ocean every morning unless I decide to sleep late. Late! That means I can sleep later than 6:00am. I never do that. What a luxury.

What is your idea of a great vacation?

Sunday, November 21, 2004

When is it time to throw in the towel?

I'm not speaking metaphorically. I mean seriously, when do you throw your towel in the laundry?
We went to my aunt's house for dinner this evening and somehow during dessert this topic came up.

"Mmmmmmm.....this cake is delicious......How often do you use a towel before you throw it in the hamper?" "

"Another cup of coffee? Why, thank you......What? You use it for 2 weeks? That's disgusting!" "

"Oh, a clementine? No thank you, I am fine with the cake..... How can you use a towel for 2 weeks? Do you know how much bacteria is on there?"

"Did you hear her? Two weeks!! Does your mother know about this?"

"I use a new towel every day!"

"Every day? Are you insane? Obviously you do not do the laundry.Are there any brownies left?"

"Ya, here's one for you. I use the same towel for 2-3 days and then it goes in the hamper. Did you say there was coffee?"

"Two to three days? Why? I'm showered so I'm clean so what's the big deal if I use the same one for 2 weeks? What? No, I'm stuffed. No dessert for me,thanks."

This innocent topic turned into quite an interesting discussion. I told my family that I would blog about it and ask all of you this burning question:

How many times do you use a bath towel before you throw it in the hamper? What is your decision based on?

Saturday, November 20, 2004

Can you help me?

My friend Liane will be looking to sell a product online sometime in the future. How many ways are there to do this? I know some people use Cafe Express (I think that's the name) but I hear they charge a bundle. Also, besides PayPal, what other ways are there to arrange payment?
If you or someone you know has a product they sell online, would you please let me know of some websites that might be helpful to get started?
Thank you so much!

Thursday, November 18, 2004

Food for thought

I stepped into the shower and reached for my Vanilla Plum shampoo. When my hair was shampoo free I grabbed my Sun-Ripened Raspberry conditioner and rubbed it through my hair. While I let that sit for a few minutes I washed with my Vanilla Brown Sugar body wash. It was at this time that my brain registered a startling fact. I was trying to make myself smell like food: specifically sugary fruit!


I thought that was quite odd. When did this begin? I remember when I was younger and everyone smelled like flowers,tea roses,lilacs,apple blossoms. Perfumes were strong enough so that if you were out with a guy he would literally fall at your feet in a dead faint due to the heady smell of your perfume. That was one way to catch a guy, I suppose. People felt sick and dizzy and probably chalked it up to being in love when in reality it was just a stinky perfume.

Times have changed. I was shopping in my friend Kristy's store a few months ago and checking out her edible oils and dusting powder; honey, coconut, chocolate and chocolate raspberry.
"Do you see anything that Rich would like?" she asked me.
"Uhm, not really. Call me when they make something that tastes like a turkey dinner with a slice of apple pie and a big glass of Pepsi. He'd love that!"

Do you find yourself using products that smell like food?

{editor's note: Just in case you were wondering, Kristy does not own a porn store or anything like that. She owns a new age store which carries books,tarot cards,candles,incense,jewelry and lots of other great stuff. Once I figure out her website address on e-bay I will let you all know. It's a great place!}

Please pass the duct tape

When I saw this on the news this morning I felt ill. I can't believe the woman who did this wasn't even punished. If anyone dared to duct tape my child to a wall just to see if it would "work on anything", I would do the same thing in retaliation!! I would get the strongest men I know, duct tape the person's mouth shut and then duct tape them to a wall for 24 hours and see how they would like it, ya know, just to see!Apparently there is no real punishment for such a thing.
I don't know who the bigger criminal is: Diane Davis, the woman who committed the crime or the judge who didn't see fit to have this criminal carry out the punishment!One week in jail instead of 2 1/2 years is unacceptable!

What do you think?

Wednesday, November 17, 2004

Persistence pays off

When Rich and I went out on November 5th to celebrate our 10th wedding anniversary, I lost a brand new earring. I had purchased them at my friend Kristy's store the week before and I loved them. I called the restaurant where we had dinner but they hadn't found it. I checked my car. Nothing.

Kristy and I went out this morning and started to talk about my lost earring again. When we got back to her house she put on her sunglasses and got a huge flashlight and marched over to my car.With her feet hanging out of the back seat and her butt in the air she combed every inch of the seats and floor. She sighed as she stood in the driveway. She's a virgo and likes things in their proper place so I knew she wasn't going to be satisfied until the earring was found. She continued to insist it was not lost but I had given up a few weeks ago. If it wasn't lost, where was it?

At 3:55pm, while I was on my way to take Lillianna to dancing school, my cell phone rang. Kristy had been dusting and damp mopping her floor and she found my earring under her couch. Rich and I had gone over there to eat cake after our anniversary dinner 2 weeks ago. Kristy and Jerry had been in our wedding so we wanted to celebrate with them too. I wasn't surprised that Kristy never gave up on my earring. That's the way she is. (Thank you, Kristy!!)

Are you persistent or do you give up easily?

When moms fly south for the winter

Mom and John left for Florida yesterday. You can read When moms fly south for the winter over at DotMoms.

Tuesday, November 16, 2004

Puddles are not a thirst quencher

Lillianna and I love our walks to and from school because we talk about the funniest subjects. I enjoy teasing her about silly things and she plays along. Here is what we chatted about today.

"I am so glad I had my boots in school today because I had to wear them when we went out for recess."

"Good thing I packed them."

"It sure was because there was a huge mud puddle on the playground."

(I pretended to be horrified as I asked,)

"A mud puddle? Oh my gosh.....did you drink it?"

"Mom! Who do you think I am......?"

That's when we looked at each other and both asked,"Daddy????"

We couldn't stop laughing.

When Rich was a young child his father caught him drinking out of a puddle with a straw he found in the street! To this day Rich doesn't see anything wrong with that.

When I was 7 or 8 years old, my friend and I drank the glittery water out of a ship in a bottle. Why? Who knows why? We were kids.

What goofy thing did you do as a kid?

Monday, November 15, 2004

The Innocence of Youth

When I was about 12 years old, the song AFTERNOON DELIGHT was popular. I even had a t-shirt that had those words printed across my chest. Remember when sayings on t-shirts were made to look like they were painted on and the paint was dripping? Well that was my shirt. I loved the shirt and I loved the song. In case you are not familiar with this classic, here are the words:

Afternoon Delight
( Starland Vocal Band )

Gonna find my baby, gonna hold her tight
Gonna grab some afternoon delight
My motto's always been 'when it's right, it's right'
Why wait until the middle of a cold dark night?
When everything's a little clearer in the light of day
And we know the night is always gonna be there any way

Thinkin' of you's workin' up my appetite
Looking forward to a little afternoon delight
Rubbin' sticks and stones together makes the sparks ingite
And the thought of lovin' you is getting so exciting
Sky rockets in flight
Afternoon delight
Afternoon delight
Afternoon delight

Started out this morning feeling so polite
I always thought a fish could not be caught who wouldn't bite
But you've got some bait a waitin' and I think I might try nibbling
A little afternoon delight
Sky rockets in flight
Afternoon delight
Afternoon delight
Afternoon delight

Please be waiting for me, baby, when I come around
We could make a lot of lovin' 'for the sun goes down

Thinkin' of you's workin' up my appetite
Looking forward to a little afternoon delight
Rubbin' sticks and stones together makes the sparks ingite
And the thought of lovin' you is getting so exciting
Sky rockets in flight
Afternoon delight
Afternoon delight
Afternoon delight

Afternoon delight!


Ya,it seems pretty risky for a sweet 12 year old to be singing, doesn't it? That's because I didn't have any clue what they were singing about! I thought it was about the Fourth of July. Think about it. A nice warm July day, two people fishing by a stream and then fireworks-those skyrockets in flight. In never dawned on me that you couldn't see fireworks in the afternoon until I was much older and actually started listening to the words. Damn! I was singing about wild passionate sex in the afternoon! I don't think I even knew where babies came from at that age.

Did you ever misunderstand a song and then were shocked when you realized what it was about?

Saturday, November 13, 2004

The front cover of a magazine

Yesterday Lillianna and I were in the check out at our local grocery store when she pointed to a magazine on the rack and gasped.

"Mom! Look!!"

I glanced at the picture and tried to scan my memory as to who this might possibly be. Nothing.

"Uhm, Ok......who is it, honey?"

"MOM!! LOOK!....It's Rachel Ray!"

Rachel Ray.....Rachel Ray....too old to be a new teen idol.She doesn't look familiar at all. Damn! Lillianna is hopping around waiting for me to give her some type of acknowledgment.

"Rachel Ray? Who is that?"

With her famous eye roll,her hands on her hips and a deep impatient sigh to her clueless mother, she said, "Mom. Rachel Ray has a cooking show. Ya know, 30 Minute Meals. I watch it with Nana."

I had to laugh. My mother has Lillianna watching all of her favorite shows. I shouldn't have been surprised that now she was hooked on food t.v.

Do your children regularly watch a show that is not a typical children's show?

Who decides?

When I was a young girl, I had frequent dreams of having long, luxurious hair. When I woke up, I would reach for my thick, gorgeous locks and be startled back to reality when they weren't there. Oh, I wasn't bald, it's just that my mother thought I looked better in short hair so that's the way it was.

In my senior class picture I am sporting a Dorothy Hamill hairdo.Before my trip to Israel in 1985, my mother assured me there was no electricity there(don't even ask!) so she encouraged me to cut my hair short and perm it. Why did I listen to her? I didn't know I had the option to challenge her and stand my ground.I hate to admit that I didn't realize that kids could argue about such things with their parents and maybe even get their own way.

Now this may lead you to believe that I had an overbearing mother who controlled my every move. Not at all. Mom has always been very loving but she really likes my hair short. I simply never said no to her suggestion of a haircut.

So, here I am the mother of a very opinionated 7 year old daughter.For the past few weeks,Lillianna has been begging me to take her to get her hair cut.

"Mom,it's too long and snarly! I hate it! I want it short!"

Ok, I was stumped. I like her hair the length it is which is about 6 inches below her shoulders. My mom and my sister Kara love it long and definitely didn't want one hair on Lillianna's precious head even touched. Who gets to say what happens to her hair? I honestly didn't give it much thought because I never got to have my hair the way I wanted it until I was much older. I told Lillianna we would go to the hairdresser on Friday after school and that's just what she did.

She giggled with glee during the haircut. She was so excited to have her hair the length that she wanted. She looks absolutely beautiful as I knew she would and I can still pull it up into a ponytail if she wants me to.

What decisions do you make? What decisions do you let your children make?

Friday, November 12, 2004

Respecting authority

When Lillianna came home from school on Wednesday, we talked about her phone call to me to bring her library books to school. She said that she had asked her teacher, Dr.N, if she could call me to bring her books up. Dr.N said she was sorry but,no,because then everyone would want to call home. A few minutes later Lillianna said she had a headache and asked if she could go to the nurse.

When she got there she said how upset she was about not being able to call me. Mrs. A, the school nurse, said that was probably why Lillianna had the headache. Mrs. A then called Dr.N on the school phone and asked if Lillianna could call home. Dr. N gave Lillianna permission to call home.

After hearing this story I asked my very cunning daughter,
Did you defy Dr. N? She told you no but you got Mrs. A to get Dr. N to let you do it anyway?

Ya, but it was ok,Mom.

Well, I will ask Dr.N at parent-teacher conferences tonight and I will get back to you.

The conference went well as I knew it would. Lillianna got a glowing report. She is an excellent reader,follows directions well, she's polite and gets along well with others. I asked Dr. N about the library book incident. Before she could answer I asked,

Did she defy you?

Yes, she did. (Dr. N seemed rather uneasy with my question)

I thought as much. From what Lillianna told me, you said she couldn't call but then she suddenly got a headache and went to see Mrs. A and then she allowed her to call me.

Yes. I felt bad that Lillianna forgot her books but if I let her call home, I have 27 other children that will ask to do the same. Then she started to cry and I felt really bad. A few minutes later she said she had a headache and I let her go to the nurse. Then I got the phone call asking if she could call home so I just let her but that call interrupted my lesson with the class.

That's what I figured.

It's funny that you picked up on that.

Ya, well, she has pulled this trick before on my husband. If I say no she asks him and he says yes without knowing I already said no! I will have a talk with her about this. I don't want this to ever happen again.

After the conference I picked Lillianna up at my friend's house and had a chat with my child. I told her what Dr. N had told me.

If your teacher says no then the answer is no! You can not keep asking people for what you want until finally someone gives you the answer you want. You know that when you ask me something, if the answer is no it's for a reason. If there wasn't a good reason I would just say yes, right? So it's the same with Dr. N. You have to respect her decision, even if you don't agree with it. No more sneaking around to find someone to let you do what you want.

Ok, Mommy. I understand.

Today she went to class and apologized to Dr.N for not listening to her on Wednesday.

At first I wasn't going to do it, Mommy, because I felt embarrassed but then I got my courage and I told her I was sorry.

I was so very proud of her. I know that must have been hard for her but I couldn't let that incident go without a discussion about it and an apology to her teacher.Lillianna is a wonderful child and very normal to want to test the boundaries a bit but she has to know how to be respectful,even about rules she doesn't like.

What would you have done?

Wednesday, November 10, 2004

Two Peas in a Pod

When the phone rang at 9:22am this morning I glanced at my caller i.d.
"Damn," I thought,"It's Lillianna's school.....again."
I hesitantly answered, "Hello?"
"Hi, Mom," Lillianna said.
"What's wrong now?"
"I forgot my library books and I need them. Can you bring them up?"
"I don't think so. I'm in my pajamas and I'm waiting for the laundry to be done. I haven't showered yet.....what time do you need them by?"
"First we have lunch, then recess then library. I need them by then."
(I took a deep breath and tried again.)
"But what time does that all happen, honey?"
"How should I know?"
"Well, didn't I remind you before you left the house to take your library books?"
"Yes."
"So why didn't you?"
"I don't know."
"I don't think I can get there in time,Lillianna."
"Sure you can, Mom!" she said encouragingly.
"I'll do my best."

I looked on the timer to see how long the laundry had left before it was done. I had 22 minutes. I jumped in the shower,got dressed, moussed my hair and looked at the timer:35 seconds. I ran downstairs,got the laundry(Rich didn't bother to tell me he ran out of 'Bounce' but I figured that out for myself with all that static!),carried it upstairs,dried my hair,grabbed her books, ran to the car,drove to school and delivered her books.
Mrs.D, an office worker, greeted me with a big smile.
"Oh, thank G-d you made it! She was so worried."

I got in the car and called Rich on the cell phone. I relayed the whole story to him.I like to share these crazy stories with my darling husband because that's why Lillianna has two parents!
When I arrived back at our apartment I decided I had to start cleaning up and folding the laundry. I opened the refrigerator to put something away and that's when I saw it: Rich's ham and cheese sandwich that I made him for lunch. I sighed a deep sigh and hit redial on the cell phone.

"Hello?"
"Where is your sandwich?"
"Huh?"
"I found your ham and cheese sandwich in the fridge. You packed your lunch. Did you pack your sandwich?"
(I don't know why I bothered asking such a question since I knew he couldn't have packed it. I was curious to know what the heck he packed!
At this point Rich couldn't stop laughing as he walked to his lunch box to inspect the contents.)
"Uhm.....I have chips, a brownie and an ice pack."
"No sandwich?"
"Uh....no sandwich!"
"Ya know, I don't know why I bother. Why on Earth did I make you lunch today?"
"I guess it's a good thing you gave me extra money today so I can buy lunch."
"That wasn't the point. You're just as bad as Lillianna. What would you two do without me?"
"I don't know."
"At least I have something to blog about."
"I love you,honey."
"Oh, I am sure you do!!...........I love you too!"
I hung up the phone and rolled my eyes. Oh, he couldn't see the rolling but I am sure he felt it somehow. Eye rolling is powerful!

At what age do you expect your child to be responsible enough to bring his/her essentials to school? Do you go up to deliver what he/she has forgotten?




Monday, November 08, 2004

I love left-overs

Rich made a delicious meal for us last night. I can't wait until dinner time tonight when I can heat it all up and enjoy it again. Tomorrow night I won't be home until 8:00pm because I work at one job from 7:30am-5:00pm and then I have a meeting at my other job from 6:00pm-7:00pm. I will have to bring dinner to the first job and eat it before the 6:00pm meeting.I will be delighted to eat that mouth watering Italian meal again.

This morning when I told Rich that I was planning to heat up the left-overs, he said, "That's ok. I will eat a bowl of cereal for dinner."
We have had this conversation many times over the past 11 years and it still surprises me each and every time.
"Well, why wouldn't you eat the chicken tonight?" I whined.
"I ate it last night. It was good. I'm done," he replied.
I sighed. The only left-overs that he is ok with is Thanksgiving left-overs. If there is turkey left over from our dinner on the following day,he has me cook the turkey with gravy in an electric frying pan and then pour it over the mashed potatoes. Then that is it. Even if there is 10 pounds of turkey left,he won't eat it!

I am definitely eating my yummy chicken and ziti tonight and Rich can devour a big bowl of Froot Loops.

How do you feel about left-overs?

So that got me thinking........

Blog Explosion is a trip around the blog world with a 30 second stop over at each blog. That way if you are on a blog that is not to your taste, you can hum to yourself until the clock ticks down and you can move on to something better. So that got me thinking.
Aside from humming, what else can you do in 30 seconds?

I came up with the following four things.

1)Put one coat of nail polish on each hand.
2)Pick up all the shoes in the apartment and put them in the closet.
3)Get Lillianna's back pack ready for the next day.
4)Make the bed.

Instead of being bored on this visit, can you add an idea to my list? I bet my life could be more productive with some helpful 30 second tips.

Sunday, November 07, 2004

Mmmmmm.......Yummy!

My workday just dragged today. (No offense to Kim, Kathy or Julie.) It seemed like such an endless day. When Kim and Julie left at 3:00pm I knew I only had to survive for 30 more minutes. When 3:30pm rolled around, I managed to get to my car and drive the 30 minutes home. I hate that drive when I am tired. I feel like I am driving to the end of the Earth.

I could smell something scrumptious as I walked up the stairs.I arrived to a clean house.That was a nice surprise.The table was set for dinner.Nice!I like to eat early on Sundays since I end up going to bed so early. Rich had me sit down with Lillianna and he gave me my salad which I had prepared for myself at 5:30am this morning. I plan ahead. He placed a plate of baked chicken parmigiana with ziti in front of me and it smelled delightful. One bite and I was in heaven. All I could manage to do was make yummy noises as I chewed,"Mmmmmm....cheesy goodness...... chunks of tomatoes......sauce.....delicious....Mmmmmmmm.....good!" It was so absolutely yummy.

We have been together for 11 years. Friday, November 5th was our 10 year wedding anniversary. Tonight was the first time he has ever made this for me! It was worth the wait. I told him he could feel free to cook every Sunday night. He said he would.
Thank you, Rich! I love you! *burp* Oh, excuse me.

Who cooks in your family?
{editor's note: Rich wanted it known that this delicious sauce that I spoke of was not from a JAR! Oh no. He made it himself.So noted.}

All that glitters is not gold

Last night I was barely able to drag my exhausted, over-worked body home. I finally arrived at 10:45pm after a brief stop to the supermarket. I called Rich on the cell phone and asked him to open the front door for me. I was too tired to use my key or even push the heavy door open myself. He met me downstairs and said for me to hold the door for a second, he'd be right back. Huh? What? Where was he going? Hello! Sleepy, cranky wife here!
I was wobbly but I stood there for a minute or so until he returned.

"What the heck were you doing?" I asked even though I really didn't care as long as I could finally go to sleep.
"I saw something shiny from the bedroom window and I wanted to check it out," he lamely explained.
"Well, what was it?"
"Uhm, I don't know. It wasn't shiny when I got there. Come upstairs and I'll show you from our window."
"Ya ya. Ok."

I trudged upstairs and plodded to the window.
"See?" he asked excitedly, pointing to the glittering object."Now I'll go downstairs and you watch me from up here and tell me when I am there."
"Uh-huh."

He went downstairs and walked towards the shiny object. I kept thinking, "What is he? A magpie?" Aren't they the birds that are attracted to shiny things?
He stood right in front of it.
"There it is," I sighed.
"Oh," he sad sadly as he picked up a plastic propeller from a child's toy.
"Never mind." He tossed it in the yard.

Did you ever think you found a treasure but it turned out to be nothing?

Saturday, November 06, 2004

How far does friendship go?

Kristy and I have been the dearest of friends for the past 14 years. We have been through many things over the years.It shouldn't have surprised me when we discovered we had gynecology appointments within 15 minutes of each other on Friday. Oh ya. It's true. Her appointment was at 9am and mine was at 9:15am. I picked her up and we drove to our appointments together. Are we great friends, or what??????

Thursday, November 04, 2004

No place for my husband

Before I had kids (well, I only have one) I thought it would be so wonderful to have my husband help me through childbirth. We had watched a wonderful movie during our birthing class which was so inspiring it filled my heart with love.The caring, kind and devoted husband helped his panting and sweating wife with tender gestures and concerned touches. They smiled at one another and pledged their undying love. "I love you," he whispered while placing a cool cloth on his beloved's forehead. "I love you more," she answered as she gazed adoringly into her soulmate's eyes. Ahhhhh, it was so beautiful and magical.

The reality was that there was no damn place for Rich in the birthing room. I don't know who the heck the husband and wife were in that movie or what planet they were from but it had nothing at all to do with my childbirth experience. Where do they get this crap from? It's false advertising! That's what it is.

I checked in to the hospital at 8:00pm on October 2, 1997. I was immediately asked if I wanted to sit in the shower to ease the pain of the contractions. Nothing can duplicate the pain of your child trying to find the exit door from inside your body. I was up for anything that could make this pain go away. What the hell was my precious baby doing in there and how did she get a chain saw? "Head for the birth canal, sweetie. Don't hack your way out," I silently pleaded to my daughter.

I quickly agreed to the shower and plodded into the bathroom. I sat on the plastic wobbly stool that is usually reserved for the elderly bather and I aimed the warm spray at my protruding stomach.It was magical. I sat there for a while just enjoying the pain free moments when Rich suddenly became alarmed. (Rich claims that "a while" was actually two hours but I can't verify that.)

"Look at your feet! They're turning blue! You have to get out of the shower," he sputtered and called for my nurse, Maggie. Just then I got a sharp pain and dropped the shower head. I breathed through that contraction and was in a state of rest again when Rich stated the obvious. "You dropped the shower head."
As I slowly reached down to retrieve it I wondered how I could hit Rich over the head with this piece of metal and make it look like an accident. I just wanted him to shut up. I know that isn't a loving thought for a wife to have about her husband but I was in excrutiating pain and he was in the way. I grabbed the shower head firmly. Before I sat in an upright position I noticed his concerned face was right in my line of fire....... so I clunked him over the head. Hard! (To this day he says I punched him in the face with my fist but everyone knows I hit like a girl so I know that's not true!)

I left the shower and Nannette, my mid-wife, gave me a shot of Nubain before I was ushered to the birthing chair. Nubain is the miracle drug that "takes the edge off." I don't know about that. I was pretty edgy. The Nubain caused me to have bizarre hallucinations in between my contractions. So here I was sitting across from Rich and Maggie, huffing and puffing so hard I thought my lungs would burst when suddenly I saw them: blue and white ceramic cereal bowls all stacked one on top of the other. What did this mean? I tried to convey this image to Rich, but he was busy making Maggie laugh with his Arnold Schwartzenegger impression. "Use your Kegel muscles. You are strong woman. You can push out this baby like spitting out a cherry pit." He was babbling some kind of silliness and at any other time I would have laughed too. But not while I was seeing cereal bowls and my insides were trying to come outside!

Maggie laughed hysterically and said to me, "Oh my god he is so funny!You are so lucky.
Hello!! Is anyone going to help the pregnant woman panting in the birthing chair or is this open mike night at the Comedy Stop? Rich and Maggie looked like two distorted faces laughing in silence. I couldn't hear them anymore. I only heard the silent screams inside my head.I willed Rich and Maggie to disappear. I closed my eyes and waited a few seconds. Damn! They were still there.

Sometime later,while I was still writhing in the birthing chair, I noticed Rich was in the corner across the room looking guilty. He was snacking on his crackers and cheese and chugging a Pepsi. I didn't even care at that point. I love him dearly but what was he doing in the birthing room with me? What purpose did he serve other than to irritate me and amuse my nurse? I thought back to the olden days when men paced in the waiting room while their wife gave birth without them. Some time later the nurse announced the sex of the child and the husband passed out cigars. Bring back the good old days, I say!

Near the end of this ordeal,Nannette, made another appearance and she suggested I transfer to the bed. She had been checking on me all night and now it was time to get things moving. She instructed me to breath. Rich made his last attempt at helpfulness. He stood close to my bed, leaned down and encouragingly said, "Breathe, Honey."
That was it! I had had just about enough of his chit chat. My eyes spit fire at him as I growled, "I AM BREATHING!!!!!!!!!!"
He must have ducked for cover because the next thing I knew, I pushed out my daughter in one push and at 4:59am on October 3rd, Lillianna arrived. Nannette plopped Lillianna on my stomach. My hot little wrinkled baby looked like a SharPei puppy lying there. I patted her head in amazement.
Nannette asked Rich if he wanted to cut the cord. He waved his hand back and forth in protest and said, "No! No! That's why we pay you!" That was fine with me since I didn't want my husband to have a weapon. He might try to get revenge for the shower head clunking earlier in the evening.

Maggie asked Rich if he wanted to hold Lillianna. He shook his head no and backed away from the bed. I laughed at him and said, "Yes you do. Hold her!" He had such a look of fear on his face, you would have thought he was asked to hold a basket full of cobras. He put his arms straight out in front of him.As Lillianna was placed in his shaking arms he slowly brought his daughter closer..... and closer......and closer, until she was resting her head next to his thumping heart. All thoughts of killing my husband and hiding the body vanished in that moment.
We were parents of a beautiful baby girl and we were very much in love with each other. All was right with the world.

Wednesday, November 03, 2004

You can't always get what you want

What do you do when your child has a meltdown? You can read my newest post,You can't always get what you want over at DotMoms.

Monday, November 01, 2004

Did I read that correctly?

I was trying to write a new post for DotMoms this morning and I had Montel on in the background. I was hoping it wouldn't be another show about boyfriends killing their girlfriends so I grabbed the remote and clicked on the info button. "Vaccinations turned tragic." Huh....how do vaccinations turn tragic? I mean I have read all the information that the pediatrician hands out before your child gets a vaccination but the chances of your child having these problems is slim, right? I caught the end of one story and it was about a man who got lost and his body was never found. I knew I was tired but how did that happen? Did he get some type of vaccination and then had a bad reaction and got amnesia and wandered off?

The next story was about a young boy who got sucked into some type of tube in a pool in Mexico while on a trip with his family. Did the boy get a vaccination before this trip and became disoriented and.......and what???? What weird story was this.
Just then the daily topic flashed on the tv screen. "Vacations turned tragic." OHHHHHHHH, Vacations??????
Never mind!

Too tired

I had my typical busy weekend working 21 hours and getting very little sleep (even with the extra hour from daylight savings). After work yesterday we went to Kara's to trick or treat in her new neighborhood with Peter's 2 girls, Lena and Bella.
By the time we left at 9:00pm I didn't know how I would survive the 30 minute drive back to mom's to get my car and then the 30 minutes to my house. Somehow I did manage to drag my butt to bed but I couldn't sleep for more than 15-30 minutes at a time.

Lillianna woke me at 2am because she had a rash on her wrist. I put cream on it and put her back to bed. Then it was 3am, 3:15,3:45.........everytime I woke up I felt like I had been asleep for 6 hours but in reality it had only been 15 minutes!
I woke up for good at 6:15am,gave Lil breakfast, made her lunch, walked her to school and then I stopped at my car to get my lunchbox from yesterday and a huge jug of water that I couldn't carry last night in my exhaustion. I called Rich from my cell phone and asked him to meet me downstairs to open the door.

I walked to the front door and Rich immediately took the water from me. I limply followed him up the stairs and through our door when I just wasn't quick enough and my finger got slammed in the door. I burst into tears and Rich rushed over to check on me. I was just so tired and hadn't been paying attention to what I was doing and that made me feel so frustrated. I wasn't able to cope with anything.I dragged myself into our room and plopped on the bed. Rich came in to lie beside me and asked, "Having a bad day?" As the tears streamed down my face I answered, "I guess."
That made him laugh and he used his humor and charm to make me feel better. I was still tired but I didn't feel as bad as I had a few minutes before.

Did you have more energy or less energy after setting the clocks back this weekend?