Monday, July 31, 2006

Some of my favorite posts

I'm at Kara's office hardly working so I decided to link some of my favorite posts here today. Enjoy.

The reason society is confused

What's in a name?

Making a sandwich

I want to be a 1950's sit-com mom I have to say that this was actually a DotMoms post but I really love this one. There was a comment questioning whether Amy and Kristy were names in the 50's but I just used the names of my real friends in this decade.

That's all for now. It was nice to re-read these posts. Sometimes I just forget what I had written in the past.

Can you hear me now? Good!

Cell phones...ya gotta love them. This post is over at DotMoms today.

Me and my friend,Ashley

Lillianna wrote about her sleep over with her friend,Ashley. This is her first post in quite a while. If you have a chance,please her post at Lillianna's place.

Your cheatin' heart part 2

Rich and I were talking about Your cheatin' heart the other night and I said, "You know,I have a better chance of forgiving you for killing someone than I do if you were cheating. Like,if you did actually kill someone,I'd at least ask you what happened and why you did it. If you had a reasonable explanation, I might be able to deal with it. If you cheated on me,there would be no questions asked. You'd just be thrown out without a word."

Rich kind of laughed and nodded. He has always known my opinion on cheating. He shares the same view as I do. Thank goodness we can trust each other. More than anything else,a good marriage has to have trust and honesty,which to us,is one and the same.

Friday, July 28, 2006

Making peace with frozen dinners

This post is over at The Lighter Side.

Your cheatin' heart

Lillianna and I spent five hours at the pool today. I heard and saw things that I wish I hadn't.

A few minutes after we arrived at 11am,a good looking dark skinned man who was probably in his 30's, entered the pool area with 2 small boys. I was impressed with Brian,the 8 year old,right away. He and Lillianna were standing on the top step of the pool and Brian asked Lillianna her name. After she told him, he walked over to her and said,"My name is Brian. Nice to meet you," and he shook her hand. I thought he was adorable. His 5 year old brother was equally charming. The younger boy called the man,"Dad",but Brian called him,Eric. I wasn't sure if Brian belonged to Eric's wife and maybe that was how the boys were brothers. It was kind of confusing but it really didn't matter.

As I was resting by the wall and doing leg lifts,I overheard this creepy guy that I don't like,talking to Eric. They know each other from working out at the gym. He asked where his wife was today. Eric said she was working on the Cape. Questions went back and forth and Eric said his wife was 26 and has her master's degree. She makes a lot of money as some type of rep and her bonus checks alone are over $8,000 per month. Eric didn't disclose his age when his son asked him. He kind of said 30...31...32...and made a joke of it. I thought he seemed like a nice loving dad.

Sitting near where Eric,his boys and the creepy guy were sitting,there were 2 young girls in revealing bikinis tanning themselves. Creepy guy couldn't resist talking to them and so the conversation started with,"Where are you from?" and ended with," you're a stripper?" Why wasn't I surprised?

Keep in mind that we (me,Lillianna,Eric and his boys and Erin-the stripper) were all at the pool for 5 hours. By 3:00pm,Eric ordered pizza which was delivered to the pool. When it came,he and the boys,along with Erin,sat under the umbrella and had lunch. About 20 minutes later,Erin's 2 friends,one male- one female,joined her at the pool.

After a few minutes,Erin went in the pool.Eric and the boys joined her. Brian and his brother began to splash them as if he were throwing rice and they sang,"Here comes the bride......" Eric and Erin laughed at those silly kids. Then they chanted,"Kiss her. Kiss her." He scooped her in his arms and kissed her in a very romantic way. I was stunned. Erin's friends just laughed.

After that,Erin and Eric continued to snuggle together in the pool. I was ill every time I saw them. How could he do that,especially in front of his boys? I wonder what his wife with the master's degree will say if the boys mention it? Will she shrug it off when he explains it was just a joke...just for fun and it meant nothing? Is this intelligent woman a sucker when it comes to her husband? I guess I'll never know but it makes me wonder....what do you consider cheating?

If Lillianna came home and told me this same story that I witnessed today but with Rich as the cheating husband,I'd pack up his stuff,throw it out the window and file for divorce. That would be more than enough for me. I wouldn't even want to hear his side of the story.

Would you consider this to be a case of infidelity or just harmless fun? How far would you let your husband go with flirting with another woman?

My new career

I went into Kara's office on Wednesday for training. She and Peter own a mortgage company and she is trying to train me to cover the office for their September honeymoon. I have gone in over the years to answer the phone and open the office when they are away but that has been to basically take messages,which I know how to do. This is different.

Kara tried to explain some of the basics to me but as Peter walked by and heard what she was saying he gasped and said,"Don't tell her all that. Are you trying to scare her?" We just laughed. I'm not scared. I'm just worried.

I know nothing about mortgages and I don't have a head for numbers unless they are ophthalmology related such as eye glass prescriptions,visual acuity and interocular pressures. I've been dealing with eyes for 19 years: 3 years working for an optometrist where I sold glasses and taught people how to insert contact lenses and 16 years working for an ophthalmology practice doing eye exams as a certified technician. I know eyes..... not mortgages. The problem is that I am completely burnt out being an ophthalmic tech and I do need a career change. I'm just not sure what I want to change to.

I think Kara's goal is to train me to take over the office while they are away and then eventually,to have me work there and process loans. In a way,it's very appealing. I love Peter and Kara and we get along great. Would working with them change that relationship? I don't think so. If Kara and Peter can work together,live together and vacation together and not kill each other,I don't think adding me into the mix would hurt anything.

After my first five hours of training,I felt like I didn't accomplish much but Kara thought I did a great job. She said it took her 5 weeks to train the last person to do what I did in one day. I think Kara is a big fat liar pants and that she said that so I wouldn't feel discouraged. I just input some info for a loan and uploaded it to the bank's account. A chimp could've done that.

They are going away this weekend so I have to go in to open on Monday because they won't be back until Tuesday morning. This time,it's just to answer the phone so it'll be easy but next time......who knows? I wonder if this will be my new career!

Have you ever changed jobs from something that you were familiar with to something completely new? How did that work out for you?

Sunday, July 23, 2006

Has anyone seen Suri Cruise?

I can't read a headline these days without seeing the big question,"Has anyone seen Suri Cruise?" People are doubting she exists now. Was it a hoax?
Leah Remini claims she has held Suri. Whoopie. My days of wondering are over. Thank goodness someone has seen her. A store clerk claims she saw the baby and she is ghastly. I wonder how much the tabloids paid her to say that. Will anyone pay me to say anything?

Let's put this in perspective. I couldn't care less about Suri Cruise and her messed up parents. Tom Cruise in insane and Katie Holmes is a dope for being with this ding dong. True love? In Hollywood? I don't even think that is possible.

A sighting of Suri is so far down on my list,(well,it would actually never make my list) are ten things-in no particular order-that I care more about than someone spotting Suri Cruise.

1.) Will the Israeli's end the terror of Hezbollah?

2.) Will I find shoes for my sister's wedding in time for my first fitting?

3.) Should I have white or wheat bread tomorrow morning?

4.) Do we still have sugar free popsicles in the freezer?

5.) How long will this Brady Bunch marathon be on TVLand? I turned it on for Lillianna at 4am this morning and 19 hours's still on!!!!

6.) Will the Gardetto's snack that I ate earlier in the day have any impact on my blood sugar tonight? It was really high in carbs!

7.) Will it be warm enough to go to the pool tomorrow?

8.) Why don't people pluck their chin hairs?

9.) What kind of back pack will I get Lillianna for 3rd grade?

10.) Why do celebrities breed???? WHY??

Rumor has it that a first picture of Suri will go for somewhere between $2 million and $5 million. Who said this world isn't messed up??

Have YOU spotted Suri? Oh wait.....there she is........sorry......false alarm. It was just a dust bunny. Damn,I'd better sweep!

Friday, July 21, 2006

The power of positive thinking

I've had my moments when I've read something inspirational and it explains that if I just had positive thoughts,my life would be different. Hmmmm.....the theory is a good one. Recently,I have re-read some of "Conversations with G-d." (I think you have to scroll to the top to see this book if you click on the link.)

It says that if I say something like,"I want to have a lot of money," the universe hears that and says,"Yes,you do want to have a lot of money." If I say,"I see a lot of money coming my way," then the universe responds by sending me what I already see happening. There is probably a better way to describe that but basically,that's the way it goes.

I have said,"I want," a lot over the years and I haven't gotten one thing that I wanted. I am trying to re-word what I need in my life so that I actually get it. I have put my new thoughts into action this week and I have to believe that what I envision for my life will be coming true very soon.

Do you believe that what you say to the universe has a direct effect as to what actually happens in your life?

Wednesday, July 19, 2006

Who can we "out" today?

I had to laugh when I read that Oprah denied she was in a lesbian relationship with her best friend Gayle. Was it a slow news day or what? First of all,people don't understand close female relationships anymore. There must be something more to it than "friendship",right? Wrong! Why can't people just mind their own business?

My second thought is this,what if they were gay? Who cares? It's 2006!! Are we taking giant steps backwards? Remember when Ellen Degeneres was outed? Ooooooh! Big freakin' deal. She's gay. Tell me again how that totally changed my life. Oh wait,it didn't! She is funny,kind and loving and has a popular talk show. Does being gay make her unfunny? unkind? unloving? I don't think so.

Not too long ago,the world tried to "out" Sponge Bob Square Pants! Are you kidding me? He's a cartoon sponge!

I have a friend who I will call "B." We have been friends since high school although I was in love with him when I was in 4th grade and he was in 6th. We became the best of friends in our teen years when we actually knew what true friendship was. At that time,I didn't know he was gay and neither did he. Long story short:he figured it out in college.

I had a hard time dealing with it at first because this was 1981 and being gay was taboo and there was very little information about being gay. I was so innocent and ignorant about this subject. I always loved "B" because he was and is a wonderful person. Although I had a tough time understanding it all at the beginning,I finally realized that being gay was just a part of who "B" was and it didn't change him in any way.

We are still friends to this day. He is the same friend to me as he was in high school. Just the same old "B." Do I think of him as my gay friend? Not any more than I think of him as my friend who wears glasses and contact lenses. Neither one has anything to do with our friendship. I believe that certain souls recognize one another and "B" and I have always had that connection.
Could it be the same for Oprah and Gayle? A friendship is a heart connection,no matter what the sex of the friend is.

I wish people would stop trying to "out" everyone. It's the least relevant thing I can think of.

What should I worry about?

I've been worrying about finances for years but it has gotten worse in the past 9 months since I was diagnosed with pancreatitis and diabetes. As I've complained about before,my meds are expensive and I had to cut down on my work hours due to stress which is not good for my health.

This morning,I heard that Hezbollah has now threatened to attack the U.S. and destroy us all. Apparently,the people in charge say Hezbollah is no threat to us and we are not in any danger at all.

So,should I worry about being behind in my bills or should I stop worrying because Hezbollah is planning on killing us all soon?

Wednesday, July 12, 2006

It's a good thing I'm not a violent person

I hate health insurance. I know it serves a purpose but I think that holds true only if it's a good insurance. Rich works for a small company and his boss tries to save money on health insurance. It's been changed several times over the past 4 years and each time it has gone from "ok" to "less ok". With this last change we've gone from
"I can't do this anymore" to "Are you freakin' kidding me with this?"

I am on several medications since my pancreatitis in November. I also have prescriptions for my diabetic testing supplies. Our new insurance which took effect on July 1st,tried to charge me $96 for my cholesterol med which I have paid $30 for in the past. I have to be on this for the rest of my life. I called the new prescription company and they said they're not an insurance company. They are a prescription help program. Who are they helping? It's not me,that's for sure.

After 40 minutes on the phone with this representative on Monday,he said if I could get my doctor to switch my Tricor to Welchol,my co-payment would be $30 again. I put in a call to my doctor and when I went to pick it up today at CVS,they told me it would be $198!!!! and I would be taking 2 pills three times a day instead of one a day. Ok,so it's a million percent higher in cost and I have to pop pills all day long??? Ya,that's a big help.

I told the woman that it was supposed to be $30 and she said she would call for me. After several minutes on the phone she came back and said absolutely not.It's $198. Then she made another call and came back to say my old insurance went through and it's only $30 today. I told her we don't have that insurance anymore. She said they can't come back and reject it if it went through so now I would have 30 more days to figure out what to do.

My diabetes test strips went from $50 a month which I thought was outrageous,to $88 a month which I think is robbery! All my meds are higher on this "help" plan and Rich's boss assured him this plan was no different from the last one. When he comes back from vacation next week,Rich is going to talk to him. Basically,he needs a $400 raise per month and that will just cover my medication. I think it is totally unfair to keep going from an ok insurance to one that sucks even more. We pay over $500 per month for this insurance. Shouldn't they insure something other than their own pockets?

(After I posted this,I went in the other room to clean up. I decided to condense my Tricor bottles so I opened up my CVS bag and was stunned. What the heck was this? It was a giant bottle of pills. I read the label:WELCHOL!! They told me I was getting Tricor for one more month. I opened the bottle and saw pills that were the size of my big toe. I have to take 6 of them a day. SIX!

I know I'm lucky to be alive. All my doctors kept telling me that when I was in the hospital since I almost died but here I was enjoying my life and suddenly I have pancreatitis and diabetes. For a woman who hates needles (who doesn't?) I had to have a complete life change and check my blood sugar two to three times a day.It's not fun. I am on medications that I have never been on before and as I said,I have to be on the cholesterol med forever.

Taking six damn pills a day is too much for me. I know there are people who take many more than I do and who are on insulin so I really have nothing to complain about but you know,this is hard for me. It is adding to the depression that I am already in. I hope anxiety meds only have a $10 co-payment because I think that will be next for me.)

Tuesday, July 11, 2006

Welcome to my chocolate factory

I made 64 bride and groom chocolate lollipops yesterday. Today,I will wrap them all.
Kara's bridal shower is just 5 days away. I remember when it was months away. Where did all the time go?

I also have to make chocolate boxes with a chocolate diamond ring inside for our 3 flower girls;Lillianna,Lena and Bella. (Lena and Bella are Peter's daughters and Lillianna's soon-to-be cousins.)There is a lot of chocolate making going on in here.

Yesterday,while driving Lillianna to her hip-hop dance class,I told her the story of when I made chocolates for Liane's bridal shower. Lillianna thought it was very funny so I thought I'd write about it. My point to Lillianna was,"You always have to try your best." I think I got my point across.

It must have been June 1997. I remember it was summer time and it was HOT! I was 6 months pregnant and a tad more teary than usual. I had agreed to make chocolate heart bride and groom jewelry boxes with a bride and groom inside for a shower favor. I had been making chocolates for years by then so this was no big deal.....or so I had thought.

I bought this new chocolate mold because it had the imprint of a bride and groom on the cover and I loved it. My friend,Cheryl,had come over to help me make them. After pouring the first mold and letting it freeze to set,we tried to unmold it. The top popped out with ease,but the bottom was stuck. I tapped it lightly. Nothing. I pressed it lightly so that I wouldn't crack the chocolate. Nothing. I pressed and pressed and....crack. The bottom was in a million pieces!

I looked hopelessly at Cheryl and she said,"Let's try it again." We did and the same thing happened.I tried again. This time I pleaded with it,"Come on chocolate. You can do it. Just pop out for me,ok?" I asked G-d for help,"This is for my best friend's shower. We've been through a lot together. Help me make this day wonderful for her." I tapped the mold. I pressed the mold cracked again.

I called up the chocolate store down the street where I buy my supplies and asked them for a tip. They said to tap it. We had. Press it. Yup. That's all they had to say. I sighed and called up the chocolate store a few towns away where I buy my molds. They said I was doing everything right.THEN WHY WON'T THE CHOCOLATE COME OUT???????

After 3 hours of this,Cheryl wished me luck and went home.I looked at the 25 tops that I had and no bottoms.I needed 50 or 60 completed boxes. I can't remember how many it was but I was not going to give up.

The next day,I tried again. After about an hour,I got a bottom to come out....unbroken!!! I was overjoyed! The next one broke. The one after that broke. I sat down and cried. I cried and cried as I begged the chocolates to cooperate. "Please....I'm a good person. Why won't you just unmold? Why?"

Finally,I tried rubbing it in spots where it might've been stuck and patted it gently and tapped. It came one whole piece. I thanked it for it's cooperation and tried another one. It too,came out in one piece. Not wanting to appear cocky,I gave it a grateful pat and set it aside.

About 6 hours later,I had all my chocolate jewelry boxes done. The following day,I wrapped them in cellophane bags and tied them with a ribbon. I gave the mold a dirty look and said,"I don't love anyone enough to go through this again. This is the last time I am making this." I put it in my box of molds but in 9 years,I've never used it.

That weekend was Liane's shower. I put a chocolate box at each place setting and sat down to enjoy the day. I could hear people talking about the chocolate. "Oh look. It opens. It's like a jewelry box!" "Hey,there's a little bride and groom in here." "I wonder where they ordered these. I'd like them for my daughter's shower."
Kristy,who was sitting next to me said,"This is the person who made them all," as she pointed to me. Everyone asked me questions and told me how beautiful they were.
It took the pain of making them away a bit. I knew they were beautiful and it's a good thing I love Liane as much as I do or I would've given up long ago.

I knew I could find a way to make the mold work so I didn't give up although I think I cried in every chocolate!

Sunday, July 09, 2006

When friendships change

Over the years,I have had friendships that have changed and one that has stayed the same. Liane and I have been friends since 7th grade. (That's 35 years for anyone who is counting.) Even though our lives have changed,our friendship has become stronger and deeper over the years. We were 12 year old girls when we met and now we are married with children.

Liane has lived out of the country for the past 6 years but we have kept in touch through emails and phone calls and her yearly visit to the U.S. We have always shared a special bond that will never be broken....again.

There was a time,many years ago,when we didn't talk for a few years due to a misunderstanding.We were our twenties.I guess that translates into "We were stupid," or something like that.The day we got back together,we stayed up talking until 3am and we caught up on everything. It was just as if we had always been together without those years of separation. We realized that the separation was necessary because we both grew in ways that together,we may not have and we have tried not to dwell on those missed years. The present is more important....and the future. I am looking forward to her return to the states for two years which will begin in just a couple of weeks. Yahoo! Even though she will be a few states away,at least our phone calls will be in the same time zone!

With some relationships,you grow and change together. In others,no matter how hard you think you are trying,sometimes the growth and changes are not always what you were hoping for.

Kristy and I have been friends for 16 years. We met at work back in August 1990 and we just clicked. She was newly married to her 3rd husband when we met and I was single. Luckily,I got along great with Jerry. He was like the older brother I always wanted. Kristy's sons were 11 and 12 when we met and I loved them immediately.

Over the years,I got married and then 3 years later,Lillianna was born. I actually met Rich in Kristy's kitchen! Is that fate or what?

Things have really been pretty good all these years up until a couple of years ago and especially this past year. We have tried so hard to keep in touch even though I work weird hours and I am busy with Lillianna and Kristy owns her own shop which is in the barn next to her house so she is working a lot too.

We still went strawberry picking with Lillianna as we do every year. Kristy made sure that we set a date for that because she enjoys teaching Lillianna how to pick the best strawberries. Believe me,she is a great teacher. I guess my problem is that both Rich and I have the feeling that we're no longer included in Kristy and Jerry's life.

There are so many times that we go by their house on our way home(it's on the main road) and there are tons of cars there and we weren't invited. Sometimes it's a coven thing. (They are Wiccan and we don't belong to their coven-or any coven- so if it's a religious ritual,we wouldn't expect to be invited and that's ok.)There are other times when Rich hears after the fact from his friend Gary,that there was some sort of get together and we never know why we weren't invited.

In the past,when I have casually asked Kristy about this,she has either said that she knew I'd be working since I work all weekend or that she knows it's hard for us to find a babysitter for Lillianna so she didn't bother telling us.Even so,it's nice to be asked.

Recently,we found out that "the gang" was going out for dinner to celebrate Gary's birthday. Of course,we weren't included. In some ways it bothers me and in other ways I'm bothered by the fact that I guess it doesn't really matter. We're just not in the group anymore.

Kristy and I will still be friends,of course, but I am kind of mourning the death of what our friendship used to be. Sometimes,you just can't go back.

Thursday, July 06, 2006

My disappointing shopping trip.

I was excited to go shopping for a shower outfit for Kara's bridal shower which is fast approaching until I actually began to shop. Yesterday,we went to Dress Barn and Fashion Bug with my mom. I tried on all the cute flowing skirts that I love but they all made me look fatter than before I lost the 50 pounds. That didn't seem fair at all. I ended up walking to my car in tears.

After those two stores,Mom went home and Lillianna and I headed to the local mall. I tried Marshall's,Lane Bryant,Sears and Old Navy but there was nothing pretty for me. Lillianna found a skirt set (for the shower) and a short set at Old Navy so she was thrilled. I was happy for her but sad for myself. This was supposed to be fun!

Today after work, I met Mom and Lillianna at Kohl's. Mom kept handing me the most hideous and disgusting clothes to try on. I do not look good in green,brown or orange so why did she hand me clothes in these colors? She had me try on a pair of stretchy black gouchos. "They're the newest fashion," she explained. Ya,well,I thought they were ridiculous and unflattering when I first saw them in 1976 and I haven't changed my opinion in the past 30 years. On a tall,thin woman they may look great but I looked like an Oompa Loompa in them. Not the look I was going for.

Finally,I tried on a pair of long black gauze-like pants which were fine. Nothing special. Mom insisted that I have them so she bought them for me. She told me to keep looking for a matching shirt today. This was not the outfit I had in mind for Kara's shower. I wanted a flowing dress or skirt or at the very least,a cutie pie capri set...something hip and happening. Instead,I have black pants and no shirt. Yippee!

After I got my hair cut,Lillianna and I went to Burlington Coat Factory. After going through each rack 3 times,I found a white blouse that I liked. It's a sleeveless, button down shirt with a little collar. I tried to find shoes and jewelry but I wasn't so lucky. I'll try again tomorrow.

This was a very disappointing experience. I thought this would be exciting and that I'd enjoy buying a beautiful outfit but there is no beautiful outfit to enjoy. Just my stupid black pants and white shirt. How blah is that???

Tuesday, July 04, 2006

If you're thinking of murdering your children and then killing yourself......

here's a handy tip for you. Kill yourself FIRST!!!!! Let the kids live!
I am so sick of hearing about parents killing their children. What kind of maniac do you have to be to do such a thing? You can read this horrific story here.

Saturday, July 01, 2006

A nice compliment from my mom!

Last Sunday,I went to Kara's house straight from work,to write out her wedding invitations. I practiced all day at work with the calligraphy pen trying to write in a pretty,not too bubbly way. It took me two hours but I got them all written out. Kara stuffed them and sent them out yesterday.

Mom called me at work tonight and said she got her invitation today and it was beautiful. "Where did you learn to write like that?" she asked excitedly. "It looks very professional!" I didn't know what to say. I thought they looked fine but I didn't think they looked professional. I was surprised and pleased...very pleased.

Kara was impressed with them last week but I wondered if she was just happy that she didn't have to do them herself so she gushed for no reason. Apparently they did look good. Yay me!!