Wednesday, April 27, 2005

How many televisions are too many?

Rich and I grew up in different types of families.
Rich was one of four children. His mom died when he was 4 years old. His siblings were 2,6 and 8 at the time. They were raised by their dad. There was one t.v. in the living room and I believe one in his dad's room and that was it. I guess whoever got there first could control what they watched but if their dad was there,obviously he was in complete control.

I was an only child until I was 11 1/2 years old. We had a t.v. in just about every room: my parent's room,my room,the living room and the kitchen. When my sister was 4 yrs old,she got a t.v. in her room. I never thought twice about this at all.

When we lived in the house we lived in before we moved to this apartment,we had a t.v. in the living room,our bedroom and Lillianna's play room which was right off the living room. Rich thought that was fine because it wasn't in Lillianna's bedroom.

When Lillianna and I were in Florida visiting my mom and John this past December, John said he had won a t.v. and he wanted to give it to Lillianna for her bedroom.
I didn't see anything wrong with that so I said yes. When I told Rich,he was less than pleased. I assured him we would have rules. Lillianna won't be able to watch it in bed to go to sleep unless she was on vacation or it was a weekend. I do that all the time. It helps me relax. This t.v. is for her to watch if Rich and I are each watching something on the other t.v.s and she really wants to watch something else. I don't have any problems with this because it's what I grew up with.

How many t.v.s do you have? Is there one in your child's room?

Tuesday, April 26, 2005

Computer help

Lillianna doesn't know what she clicked on but now my "Start" menu is on the upper left hand of my computer instead of the lower left side and my icons that are usually in the lower right hand side with the clock are now on the lower left side.

I have gone into tool bar and tried different things but nothing will put this back the way it was. When I restarted the computer,it went back to this crazy way.

Does anyone out there know how to fix this? Thanks in advance!

Thursday, April 21, 2005

Stupid spellcheck.....again!

When I wrote the post about Samantha,I checked my spelling with good old spell check. Do you know what they wanted to replace the name Siobhan with? Huh? Do ya??
The replacement for Siobhan was......soybeans!!! Can you believe it???

And I thought suggesting crusty for my friend Kristy was bad!

Tuesday, April 19, 2005

Sick again

Well,Lillianna is sick again. It seems like she is always sick lately. It started with complaints of,"I think my allergies are bothering me." Then Saturday morning she came into our room at 2am and said,"I'm shaking and my heart is racing." Ahhh,the tell-tale signs of a fever. By Sunday she was coughing and complaining of a sore throat. Luckily I had the day off on Sunday so I could spend the day taking care of her instead of being at work feeling sad that I wasn't home.

Yesterday her cough sounded worse so I took her to the doctor. She has a viral infection which means no prescription medication will help her. I kept her on her cough med and motrin for fever and now we have to wait it out. The doctor said her fever should be gone by Wednesday but the cough,which is like croup, may linger for a week or more.

I took today off from work because Mom just came home from Florida yesterday. How could I bring my sick child to her for 5 hours today? Hopefully she will feel better tomorrow and she can go to Mom's.

In the meanwhile,Lillianna is frustrated with her cough and goes from playing with her toys to clinging to me and whining. I try my best to make her feel better but I know how horribble I feel when I'm sick. Sometimes there is nothing that will help except the time to get better.

How do you make your kids happy when they are sick?

Sunday, April 17, 2005

Three Wishes

Today Lillianna said she had three wishes.

1. "I wish we had enough money to go to Disney World."

She knows we have been saving money but we haven't saved enough yet and I wanted to plan a trip for this November. We will probably have to postpone that thought.

2. "I wish all medicine tasted like real bubble gum!"

Since she has been sick these past few days she has been having a hard time swallowing some medication. Only Motrin has the bubble gum flavor she likes. Other bubble gum flavored medicine is thick and yucky!

3. "I wish there was no such thing as Diabetes."

Lillianna has a close friend with Juvenile Diabetes and she sees what she goes through every day. She said,"I wish she didn't have it,Mom. Plus Auntie Ida has Diabetes. I wish there was no such thing." I have to agree!

What do your kids wish for?

Trying not to feel guilty

You can read today's post over at DotMoms.

Saturday, April 16, 2005

In the middle of the night.......

At 2:30am I heard a frightened little voice say,"Mom,I'm shaking and my heart is racing." Nothing snaps my old eyes open quicker than my sweetie pie daughter waking me up in the middle of the night. I said,"Well, you probably have a fever." I grabbed the thermometer and popped it in her mouth.Sure enough she had a temp.I gave her some Tylenol and got her snuggled in the middle of our bed. In reality, the three of us do not fit in this bed together but there is something comforting being in between your parents when you are sick so that's where I put her.
Rich was asleep but he managed to scoot over to make room for Lillianna.

We slept for an hour and then I felt her and decided she needed some Motrin. Our pediatrician suggested that when she was an infant and whenever she has a temp that disturbs me,I give her Tylenol every 4 hours and Motrin every 6 hours until it's under control. At 3:30am Lillianna decided she would rather lie on the couch and watch t.v. than go to sleep. I set her up with a snack and a drink and went back to bed.

When I woke up at 5:30am to shower for work,she was sound asleep. By the time I left for work at 7am her temp was down and she felt better. I always hate when Lillianna is sick but I always feel powerful in a way, that most times, I can fix whatever is wrong with her. She knows she can walk into our bedroom and we will instantly take care of her.

Do you put your kids in your bed when they're sick?

The last day

A woman that Rich had briefly worked with,was killed in a car accident this week. She had her 6 year old daughter in the car as well as her roommate. No one was wearing a seat belt but according to what Rich told me,that wouldn't have even saved her when they were hit head on by an suv. Her daughter and the roommate are in critical care.

Last night when Rich came home from work he said he was stunned that his co-workers were not bothered by the death of a woman they worked with for 8 months. No big deal.
He was appalled by their apathy. How could this not have an impact on these people? Rich said,"You know,she was just taking her child to school. You don't leave the house in the morning and think,'Gee....this is my last day on Earth!' You never think that.Now her child has to be told that her mom is never coming back!"

It kind of freaked me out when I thought about what he said. I guess realistically I know that any day could be my last day but the way he put it gave me the chills.
I can't dwell on this because it's just a fact of life which will happen whenever it's supposed to happen but now it's on my mind.

Do you ever think of your own mortality?

Monday, April 11, 2005

A bigger age difference than I thought

When I picked Lillianna up from school today she told me that she and her friends were chatting about their parents' ages. She explained,"Some people said their parents were in their twenties or thirties. I said my mom is in her forties but my dad is in his twenties........or thirties."
"What???????" I shrieked. "You said Daddy was in his twenties?????"
"Or thirties," she added.
"Daddy and I are only 4 years apart. I am 42 and Daddy is 38. He is not in his twenties!"
"Ya,well,the kids all just kind of stared at me," she said quietly.

How old do your kids think you are?

Sunday, April 10, 2005

Foul language on the playground!

Yesterday, Rich took Lillianna to the playground so that she could enjoy the nice weather. When I called her from work to find out how her day was she said,"I saw Julia from my dancing class there." I told her that was nice but then she said,"It really wasn't. She swore,Mom." I asked her what she said and she refused to tell me. I asked if Rich had heard her and Lillianna said,"He knows what she said but when he tells you, I am going to put my hands over my ears and say 'Lalalalalalala' until he's done!"

When Rich got on the phone I asked him what happened. There are these 2 pipes that stand straight up with a shower head looking thingy on the end. They are about 15 feet away from each other. If one person talks into one of them,the other person can hear what they are saying through the second one. Kids love this! Apparently,Julia was at one of them and 2 boys were at the other. She yelled,"Hello!!! Can you hear me????" quite loudly and the boys replied,"You don't have to yell." This darling 7 year old then yelled,"Ass!!" to the boys. I forget what Rich said their response was but then Julia yelled,"You don't have to be a winy ass!!!"

Lillianna was horrified. I don't blame her. We don't say things like that to people.
I am sure it's something she has heard at home but I still think it's horrible. Rich said her mom was across the playground chatting with other moms at the time. We try very hard to keep our language clean around Lillianna. I would be devastated if Lillianna ever swore at someone.

Do you swear in front of your kids? Do you find they are repeating what they have heard?

Twenty-nine years ago today

April 10,1976.......Today is the 29th anniversary of my Bat-Mitzvah. It was one of the happiest times in my life and I whisper a little,"Happy anniversary to me" every year on this date. I am in the process of writing about this for my DotMoms'post for next week. In the meantime......Happy anniversary to me!!

Saturday, April 09, 2005


When I was a little girl,my mom always had a package of Chicklets in her pocket book. It never failed that the pack would become open and the Chicklets would spill into the bottom of the pocket book. Whenever I wanted a piece of gum,I would reach in there and pull out a few linty Chicklets. I would blow off the lint and pop them in my mouth. Mmmmmm....nothing ever tasted so good.

Did you ever chew linty Chicklets?

Scrapbook memories

I am still working on Kara's scrapbook for her birthday which was in October.Better late than never,right? Yesterday I worked on her book for 2 hours and it was very difficult. I managed to get 3 pages done but the page of my dad just about did me in.
Looking at Kara as a baby and small child with Dad just stabbed at my heart. I burst into tears.

Then I listened to the cassette I made when Kara was a baby through age 4 or 5. Keep in mind,I am almost 12 years older than Kara so I kept track of everything she said and did. I could hear my Dad's voice on the tape and I cried and cried.Lillianna ran to grab tissues for me and then she started to cry too. I keep thinking that I have learned to live without him over these past 17 years but it's just like he died yesterday. I still miss him so much and it's amazing that just the brief sound of his voice can reduce me to a pool of tears.

Thursday, April 07, 2005

What a pain!

I woke up this morning with a bad pain on the back of my head. Rich checked to see if there was a bump or a mark but he couldn't find anything. He said,"It's probably just an ingrown hair." I figured the way my luck was going,it could be just about anything. I said,"Well,if this should kill me,make sure that when they do the autopsy you tell them that I had this pain in my head.Okay?" He assured me that he would.

How the heck was your day?

Wednesday, April 06, 2005

What's the point?

Some days I wonder,"What's the point?" Why do Rich and I work so hard? We never get ahead! We don't spend money frivolously unless you call ordering a pizza once a week frivolous. We do everything we are supposed to do. We are good people. We help others whenever we can. What's it all for?

I am desperately trying to save enough money so that we can go to Disney at the end of the year. Every time I think I have money to put in our account,we end up paying a bill with it. We were expecting money back from our taxes this year. We were planning to put that money in the Disney fund. My accountant called yesterday and told me we owe money!! He said that we aren't having enough taxes taken out of our weekly paychecks. Rich said,"If they take out any more money,we won't have anything!!"

I'm tired. I have no free time. It all seems pointless. I'd rather not work at all and make the state pay for me although I'm told we make way too much money to apply for welfare. That figures!! I just got a call from my mechanic. The grinding breaks weren't my only problem. I need two new front tires. Total cost....$400!! It just keeps getting worse every day.

I am grateful for all the good things in our life but there has to be a better way to live!! I can't keep going like this much longer. I am just about to crack!

Sunday, April 03, 2005

Who needs sleep?

You can read today's post,Who needs sleep? over at DotMoms.

Saturday, April 02, 2005

I always knew I made the right choice

All this talk of marital problems with friends and co-workers has made me think of my wedding day. I always knew Rich was the person I was supposed to marry. I never had second thoughts or wondered if I was doing the right thing. We met,planned a wedding and got married.

Some people are now questioning their own marriages and relationships and more than one person has said that they wish they knew for sure if they were with the right person. Even with our separation,I always knew Rich was the guy for me. Too bad it took him a little bit longer to realize it but that's the way things go sometimes.

Around 3:00pm on my wedding day,my bridesmaids came to my house to finish getting ready. Sue,my MaryKay lady was doing my Mom's make-up at the dining room table but Mom was so stressed and nervous,her face kept blotching. Kara,Kristy and Liane were dressed in their beautiful gowns and chatting. I was still in my jeans and t-shirt from my last minute shopping trip and I was snacking on a Devil Dog. We had oodles of time. My hair had been done at 1:00pm. I was waiting for Sue to do my make-up and I was hungry. A Devil Dog seemed like a good choice.

My mom suddenly realized I was there and shrieked,"Why hasn't anyone dressed the bride????????" I just laughed. We weren't late. The photographer hadn't even arrived yet. What was Mom so worried about? I just looked at her and laughed,"Mom,why are you so stressed out?" She frowned at me and said,"What's the matter with you? Why aren't you nervous? You always panic. Why are you so calm today on a day when you should be nervous?"

I didn't even hesitate when I answered her. "Well, if I thought I was making a mistake and that Rich was the wrong person for me then I would be in a panic. But I know he's the right one and there's nothing for me to worry about," I replied as I popped the last bite of cake into my mouth. I kissed Mom's cheek and said,"If it makes you feel any better,I'll get dressed now."

How did you feel on your wedding day? Did you have doubts or were you absolutely sure you were doing the right thing?

When you just can't get there fast enough

Thursday was a horrible day for me. Our home computer was broken and I attempted to fix it for 3 hours without success. At 12:30pm I showered and got dressed. Then I made ziti with meat sauce to pack for my dinner and I made a plate for Rich and put it in the fridge. I made my lunch and ate it while watching "Judging Amy."
At 2:10pm I began packing up my things for work and when I looked at the clock it was 2:25pm!!!!!!!! I usually leave the house at 2:15pm to pick Lillianna up from school. She is dismissed at 2:25pm.

I ran down the stairs with my lunch box and big jug of water.I jumped into the car and drove through the apartment complex. As I tried to turn onto the main street,there was a steady flow of traffic and I couldn't get out! My heart was racing. I was late. I would never get there in time. I saw a school bus pass by. I panicked. The walkers are dismissed first. If a full bus of students already left the school then I was very late! I finally got onto the main road but then I couldn't turn left into the school which is right across the street from the entrance to our complex.

The crossing guard had my side of the traffic stopped so that the cars and buses could leave the school. I felt like the mom in HOME ALONE,who kept trying to get to her son but things kept getting in the way. When you are trying to get to your child as fast as you can,sometimes it's just not fast enough.
I parked my car in the lot and ran across the walkway. All the cars in the semi-circle pick-up area were gone. The last 3 buses were loading up and getting ready to leave. At the beginning of the walkway to the building,I saw Lillianna standing with a teacher. She turned and pointed at me.

The two of them began to walk towards me. I was almost in tears. Lillianna was the last child left. I looked at the teacher and apologized and thanked her. She smiled and said good-bye. I hugged Lillianna tightly and kissed her head.

"I am so sorry,honey. I am so sorry. Were you worried?" I asked her.

"No,Mom,why?" she asked.

"Did you wonder where I was?"

"Of course not. I just figured you were running late. Mrs.Bailey said if you weren't here by the time the last bus left then I could sit in the office and wait for you," she explained matter-of-factly.

My heart broke. My poor baby was waiting for me.The only child left in the entire school. I could picture her sitting alone in the principal's office if I had been any later. All I could think of was what a horrible mother I was. My heart was still beating rapidly as I apologized to my child again. She rubbed my hand as we walked to the car and said reassuringly,"Mom,it's ok. Relax."
I looked at my child and tried to explain,"You know,it's the worst feeling in the world when you are late and trying to get to your child quickly and you just can't get there." She smiled at me and continued to rub my hand until we reached the car.
I gave her a big kiss and thanked her for being so understanding.I guess I was the only one actually upset by this incident.

Have you ever had this happen to you?