Thursday, July 31, 2008

I guess life goes on

A few weeks before my 40th birthday in 2003, Rich told me that he didn't want to be married anymore because he was unhappy so he moved out. It was completely devastating to me and to our poor 5 year old daughter. I will never get that picture out of my head. Lillianna was sitting on Rich's lap and she held his face in her hands and cried,"Why Daddy?....Why??" That memory still makes me sick.

All marriages have their ups and downs. I don't know anyone with a fairytale marriage. So imagine my surprise when Lillianna and I came home after a fun dinner at her favorite Chinese restaurant and we saw Rich's car in the lot. He was supposed to be at his night job until 10pm.

The first thing I noticed was that the end of the table where Rich paints his soldiers was empty. I asked him why he put his stuff away. He gave a vague answer but I had a bad feeling in the pit of my stomach. Finally he said he was moving out.

Just like that...he wasn't happy and he was leaving. When he moved back in 5 years ago he had said that he would never ever leave me and Lillianna again but lo and behold he lied.

So in the end I told him to just go tonight. I didn't want him here anymore. He left.
Now it's just me and Lillianna and that's just fine with me.

Sunday, July 20, 2008


Lillianna is absolutely fascinated by the show Bridezillas. Sometimes I watch it because I just don't believe that there are brides out there who act like complete bitches before,during and after their wedding. It always kills me when the bride spends millions of dollars and the groom just shrugs and says,"Whatever you want,sweetie." Who are these men who take such crap from their future wife?

I got married almost 14 years ago and my wedding was nothing like the ones I have seen on this show. On today's episode,the bride was helping pick out her maid of honor's dress. She admitted that she wanted to find the ugliest dress for her m.o.h. because she didn't want anyone to out shine her on her special day.

I took my bridesmaids and my maid of honor (my dear sister,Kara)to several bridal shops so that they could pick out whatever dress they liked best. I had been to a wedding years ago and the bridesmaids had an off the shoulder gown and they spent all night pulling up their dress so that their breasts wouldn't pop out. That seemed like a lot of work to me so I wanted my bridal party to be beautiful and comfortable. I never worried about someone out shining me. I just wanted everyone to be happy.

In Bridezillas today, the bride's future mother-in-law was a florist and she was going to do all the flowers. The bride wanted the most expensive flowers that were out of season. She also wanted crystals hanging from the flowers. Her poor MIL was horrified and told her it would look like a trailer park wedding.The bride yelled,"I've been dreaming of my wedding since I was 4 years old!! This is what I want!" I handled my florist a bit differently.

Mom and Kara came with me on the first meeting with my florist. She began showing us books and asking about what I had in mind. I asked her,"Have you done any other weddings before mine?" She laughed and said she had been doing this for many years. Handing her a piece of the bridesmaids dresses I said,"Great! This is what my bridesmaids will be wearing. Create something that will look pretty with this."

She was stunned and asked if I had any ideas. I said,"I have nothing in mind. I don't know anything about flowers and since you do,I'm leaving it in your hands." She thought I was very easy going. My flowers were absolutely gorgeous!

We got married at the same place where our reception was held and when I met with the woman in charge of the hall she asked me what kind of linens I wanted. Again,I showed her my bridesmaid's dress and said,"Since you've done this before,do whatever you think will be best. I have no idea about color schemes." She was thrilled and the end result was perfect.

The only thing that caused a controversy was the music. Mom insisted on a live band and I wanted a DJ. I hate live bands at a wedding. I can't ever recognize the tune until it's too late. With a DJ, everything sounds the way it's supposed to. I stood my ground and in the end Mom said if I had to have a DJ then she would find the best one for me.....and she did.

I don't know why these women enjoy being a bridezilla. I would be horrified and embarrassed if I acted like that. Well,I guess that's what makes great t.v. No one would watch if the bride was sweet and easy going.

Saturday, July 12, 2008

The very first peanut butter and jam sandwich!

Kara called me today to tell me that she and Peter went to the beach. Her appetite has been off since SHE IS PREGNANT!!!!'s true. I feel like I've been waiting a century for this news but my sister is expecting her first baby 3 days after my birthday.....that's February 12th for people who don't know mine is the 9th.

I was stunned to learn that Kara has NEVER eaten a peanut butter sandwich in her 33 1/2 years but today she had some of Peter's peanut butter and seedless raspberry jam sandwich and she loved it.

Who knows....she may even try a peanut butter and fluff sandwich. That's what Lillianna lives on during the school year.

So hooray for Kara and her very first pb&j and hooray for me because I'm going to be an auntie!!! Well.....I guess Kara and Peter deserve the credit for that one.