Lillianna's perspective

Lillianna asked me if she could have a piece of bread today. I said of course but to take it from the bread in the brown bag which was just purchased today. After a few minutes I needed her to get something for me in my bedroom so I told her I would hold the piece of bread for her. When she handed it to me it felt rather thick so I turned it over and saw that she was eating the "heel" of the bread. I said, "Oh you're eating the end?" Lillianna stared at me in surprise and said, "No, Mommy, I am eating the beginning!"

Our judgmental world

Angela just posted her new hair color. It's red. It's out there. It's so Angela. She is a fun person who is occasionally trapped inside a body that strives to conform in order to be accepted. If you read her blog you will see that she is thrilled to have this new hair color. She feels great about herself. Isn't that the point of living? To feel great?

This got me thinking. If I were to see Angela on the street, without knowing who she is or what she is about, what would I think? Would I even think anything? Would I silently give her a thumbs up for doing her own thing or condemn her for the very same reason? This reminded me of something that happened a few years ago.

When my friend Kristy's son Brian was a teenager he colored his spiked hair often.He was the last person I would ever imagine who would color his hair. He was so quiet and unassuming and yet his outlet was his punk rock band. His hair was just an extension of his desire to express himself. Whenever I saw him he usually had a new hair color. I always went over to him and said, "Can I touch it?" and then I would wave my hand over the spikes.I loved his hair! It was funny because he seemed like such a contradiction: good boy, crazy hair.

One day while Rich and I were driving in the car I saw a teen boy with blue hair. I immediately sighed and said, "Well, look at that weirdo. What kind of mother would allow her teenage son to color his hair blue?" Rich kind of glared at me and said, "Brian colors his hair and you don't think thoughts like that." Clearly Rich was missing the point so I explained patiently, "Well, we know Brian!! He's a great kid!" Rich asked, "Oh, so knowing the person determines if it is ok or not?" I replied, "But we know Brian is a great person. He isn't some weirdo like that blue haired boy." Rich said, "I bet the blue haired boy's family thinks he is just as wonderful as we think Brian is." I am not often speechless but that shut me up.

We live in a very judgmental world. I try to teach Lillianna to look at someone's heart not at their appearance because appearances can be very deceiving. And yet aren't we all guilty of that at one time or another? I don't like it. I don't want to be judgmental but I think it is human nature to judge others because we always feel like we are being judged.

This got me thinking about if I ever did anything "wild" or "crazy" to assert my independence. Then it came to me: earrings! I used to wear some interesting earrings in my 20's. They weren't just large they were different. I had big round,white leather circles with a mirror in the center. Friends could do their make-up in my earrings! I loved them. My cousin Marcia snorted at me when I bought them and said, "You aren't seriously going to wear these out in public are you?" I put them on right there in the car while she was driving!"You bet I am going to wear them!" Did anyone look at my earrings and think, "What a weirdo!!" I don't know and I don't care. I loved it and it was fun for me!

So let's be kind to each other. We are all people on this planet who are struggling to find out who we are. We express ourselves in many different ways. Let's applaud the differences instead of pointing accusing judgmental fingers at each other.

What is your thought when you see someone who is "different"? In what way have you ever expressed yourself? What was the reaction to that?

The Emancipation Procla-WHAT?

Rich was working with the 17 year old boy again yesterday. I will refer to him as TB (teen boy) for the sake of this post. Rich was asking him if he was ready to head back to school and what his favorite subject was. TB declared that history was the subject he was most interested in. Rich, who is a huge history buff, was suddenly interested. He started to throw out history questions to TB.

Rich: Who was the 16th president of the United States?
TB: Huh?
Rich: Who was the 16th president of the United States?
(a long pause followed. Rich decided to help him along)
Rich: He was called the great emancipator.
(nothing)
Rich: He wrote the emancipation proclamation.
TB:(laughing) Ok, you are just making this up right? The emancipation proclamation? That's not a real thing......Is it?
(I am lucky my poor husband didn't have a heart attack right then and there!)
Rich:(trying not to give TB a dope slap) Yes, it is a real thing. Did you ever hear of Abraham Lincoln?.........Slavery?..........Anything?
(silence)

Rich asked other questions that were met with a blank stare from TB. TB had never heard of Watergate, The Iran-Contra Affair or Christa McAuliffe.Rich said he shook his head and sighed at TB as he said, "I weep for our future."

I tried to defend TB this morning by saying that TB was a baby when some of this happened and as for Watergate, he wasn't even born yet. Rich became so saddened by TB's lack of knowledge in the subject he proclaimed as his favorite.

I admit I know just about nothing about history.(I did know all the questions that Rich asked TB, thank goodness!)In school,I learned about the Pilgrims every year in November, tid bits aboutThe Revolutionary War, a few mutterings about Eli Whitney,George Washington Carver and Christopher Columbus. My history teachers didn't look like they even enjoyed history so how could they teach it effectively? I always say that most of the information that I know about history is because Rich taught it to me.

Lillianna will have a great advantage when she starts to learn about history in school. Whatever she doesn't learn from her teachers, she will learn from her father.

What were your history teachers like? Did you feel like you got a good education in history? What would you have changed?

Smoking ban lifted for DNC

Rich was ranting last night about the smoking ban being lifted in Boston during the Democratic National Convention. I begged Rich to write this post on my blog since he was so passionate about this subject but he declined. So, I will tackle it.

Rich said that originally when the bill was being passed, the argument was, that the workers in the restaurants and bars were victims of second hand smoke which was bad for them. If you agree that is true, then why is the second hand smoke from the DNC not bad for the workers? Why is their smoke not as damaging?
Whether the smoke is blown in their face or up their butts, it's still smoke!

Why are politicians always above the law? Granted we live in Kennedy-ville USA where you can kill a girl and still go on to have a great political career without any punishment but where will it end?

Do you think the DNC should abide by the law while they are in Boston or do you think they are above the law, the way that they obviously do?

Discipline? What's that?

I was talking to B my Mary Kay rep today and she was telling me about a play group she goes to with her 15 month old daughter. The kids play for 2 hours in one room with supervision, while the moms listen to a guest speaker in another room. B said one speaker talked about saying "no" to your child and setting boundaries. I always find this to be an interesting topic.

When Kara was in her teens she had her own phone. Well, it was actually my phone that she dragged into her room at night. At 2:00am or 3:00am the phone would RING and Kara would chat with her friends for hours. Eventually my mother would yell, "Kara! Get off the phone! It's 2am! If you get one more call at this hour I am pulling that phone out of the wall!!!!!!" Well, it happened about a million times after the first time and nothing ever happened. Kara's lesson? Mom can threaten but she really won't do what she says.

When I became a mother I vowed to follow through with any threats that I made. I never made insane threats, "If you don't behave in this restaurant then you will never go out with us again." That's not realistic at all. Once when Lillianna didn't behave in Wendy's during our weekly lunch before dance class with her dance friends, I said, "If you don't sit down and finish your lunch then next week we will not meet your friends for lunch. You can sit home having a peanut butter sandwich and imagine your friends having fun without you." Lillianna just looked at me for one quick second and then sat her butt down. She knows that threat is a promise.

I have seen too many mothers who give their kids a million chances to listen and yet the child still does whatever he/she wants to do. I don't have the kind of patience it takes to raise a consistently disobedient child. I know Lillianna is going to push the limits, time and time again, and that is fine with me. I want her to have her own opinion but for now she needs to follow my rules. And for the most part, she does.

Do you set boundaries? Do you follow through with discipline?

Welcome to our home....Please don't trip on the clutter!

When Rich and I were first married our apartment was always clean. We both worked 40 hours a week so we weren't ever home. Maybe that was the key.
Since Lillianna was born our place of residence has always been cluttered. Whether it was our old house which had plenty of space or our current apartment which isn't so big, there was always stuff in transit with no place to actually go.

Lillianna's room is always a hazard. When you enter her room you are immediately faced with the huge cardboard box that she brought her stuffed dog Kayleigh home in. Kayleigh is from "Build a bear." Kayleigh also has a cardboard armoire for her clothes. If you can walk past all this and still not trip on the CD player then you are home free.

I wish I could say that Lillianna is the reason everything is a mess but the truth is we all contribute. My life is chaotic and I wish our home was immaculate and completely in order pick up when I can and Rich cleans on the weekends while I am at work. I just wish things were clean every single day.

I know quite a few people who clean their house every day and not one thing is out of place........Ever!! I wish that were me. I guess I have to wait until I can afford a housekeeper. In my dreams.

Are you a cleaner?

Who Needs Latin?

Seventeen years ago I started work as an optical technician for a local optical chain. I only worked there for 3 years but it opened the door for me to get my current job in an ophthalmology practice, which I have had for 14 years. I never intended to have a job like this. My life changed suddenly when my dad died and I took the first job that was offered to me.

I figured it couldn't be too complicated to help people pick out glasses but I didn't realize there would be so much medical knowledge involved. I didn't like medical things but the optometrist's exams were written with medical abbreviations and even the eye glass prescriptions had them. When I asked what OD meant I was told it meant right eye. HUH? Where the heck did ya get that from? The answer was, "It's Latin." I looked at my co-worker with relief, "Oh it's Latin? I understand Latin! What does the "o" and the "d" actually stand for?" She replied, "Oh I don't know what it stands for but it is Latin." I tried to rephrase my question. "If I know what the Latin words are I will be able to remember all the abbreviations. I took 2 years of Latin in High School. All A's! Help me out here." She huffed and puffed and walked away.

I appealed to Dr.E, the wonderful optometrist that I worked for. He looked at me and asked, "You understand Latin? Well, come on over here and I will tell you what it all stands for." We started with the eye abbreviations. OD was ocular dexter(ocular meaning eye and dexter meaning right.) OS was ocular sinister (left eye). I asked, "Sinister like when you say a person is sinister;meaning evil?" He said, "Well in the old days if you wrote with your left hand that meant you were evil. Unless that is just an old tale. Who knows?" Wow, this eye stuff wasn't so boring afterall. Once I learned the Latin words it all made sense to me.

I loved Latin in High School. No one understood why I took it. I just felt it would somehow help me throughout my life. When I was 22 yrs old my Nana asked me about a word she was reading in a book. "Do you know what this word means?," she asked. I took a look where her finger was pointing: somnabulant. I had never heard of that word before. "Well Nana, I am going to look at it from a Latin point of view. Somni means to sleep. Ambula means to walk. I am going to guess this word means sleep-walker." I ran to the dictionary to verify my answer. "I'm right!I did it!" Nana was so proud of me. I gave a silent thank you to Mrs.P, my enthusiastic Latin teacher.She made our class so much fun. I wish I could've taken Latin for all 4 years.

Sometimes I have looked at words written in French or Italian and I understand them because I was told all the romance languages came from Latin. It doesn't advance my career or anything but for someone who loves words, this is an extra bonus in my life.

Did you ever take a Latin course? Was there a class in school that has helped you in your adult life?

Flashback to the 80's

This will mean more to those of you who were born in the early 1970's and before.

Today Lillianna spent some time with her favorite Auntie Kara! When I went to pick her up after work, Lillianna asked Kara if she could take home the cool CD that they had been listening to. Of course Kara said she could. It was labeled "HIP HOP."

I didn't know why my child was interested in this music until I put it on in the car. It was all the songs Kara loved as a teenager. I remember those years well. At the age of 27 I was listening to hits from the 50's and 60's while my 15 year old sister sang along to "Funky Cold Medina." Oh ya, we were and always will be opposite.

So I put the CD in and immediately recognized the rap/hip hop version of "Walk This Way." I started to sing along. This song has been around forever. Lillianna gasped from the back seat. "How do you know this song, Mommy?" It's always such a kick when you freak your kid out with something like this.
The next song was "Bust A Move." I remember when Kara's cheerleading squad did a half-time routine to that song. This CD was so cool.

Lillianna was getting impatient."Mom, please skip it to #14. That's the song I know all the words to." So I did. The song came bursting through the speakers. "OH -MY- GOD -BECKY. LOOK AT HER BUTT. IT IS SO BIG. SHE LOOKS LIKE ONE OF THOSE RAP GUY'S GIRLFRIENDS......THEY ONLY TALK TO HER CUZ SHE LOOKS LIKE A TOTAL PROSTITUTE........"

If I hadn't been driving, I might have fallen on the floor. How could I have forgotten the words to this song? My precious angel was saying this right along with the song. The only saving grace was that she is totally clueless as to what she is saying. She absolutely loves this CD. I haven't listened to it all yet but I will. I long for the days when we sang The Wiggles hit tune, "Fruit salad. yummy yummy...."

What kind of music do your kids listen to?

Not Such a Bad Day, Afterall

Today started out as the day from hell. I woke up congested and exhausted which didn't put me in the happy mood I was supposed to be in to deal with our health insurance company.....again!
The only way I can explain the drastic changes that were made is to ask you to imagine I am talking about your VISA card. You know how every year or so they send you a new one but everything is the same except for the expiration date? Well let's say VISA changed a lot of things but didn't bother to tell you. Instead of paying 9% interest, you are now paying 24%. Then you try to charge something in your favorite clothing store but at the check out they tell you they don't accept your card anymore.

When you call VISA to complain they say,"Well that was on your old card!" If you want to charge at that store you have to call the old VISA card account number. We can't process that here. I can transfer you." Then you are put on hold for 15 minutes and no one picks up. You call back the main number and go through all the "press 1" prompts until finally someone answers. You go through the whole saga again and this operator asks, "So how can I help you with this?" And on and on it goes.

It was quite frustrating. In the end Rich said he would take all our paperwork to work with him next week and let his boss figure this all out.

Basically I wanted to stay in today and rest and sleep and forget about all this crap. When I talked to my sister she said, "Just go to the pool and forget about everything else." That's what we did.

Lillianna and I spent 3 hours swimming. We had the most wonderful time laughing and jumping (I was tossing her, she was jumping)and swimming. It felt so good to just relax. I hugged her and said, "Thanks for making this day so much fun." She kissed me and said, "Well I knew you were sad, Mommy."
It turned out to be a great day!

A Sign Of The Times

Read about Lillianna over at DotMoms

Driver's Ed.

While driving in the car today Lillianna asked me, "So who teaches a kid to drive, the mother or the father?" I explained to her about taking the written test to get a learner's permit.The next step is taking the driver's ed. course which includes the on the road driving. After that a parent or relative can take the student out on the road for practice until they feel they are ready for their road test.
I explained about all the things she would have to do to pass this test. "Then if you complete all of the requirements, the instructor gives you a piece of paper to say you passed the test and you get your license." Lillianna was so excited when she asked, "And then where do you go to pick out your car?"
Ahhhh....if it were only so simple! A free car with each license.

Child Abuse

I read this yesterday.(You have to scroll down to the second story.) I was shocked! Absolutely shocked! And I was furious!!! Ya, 3 exclamation points for being furious!!!

I don't know what the situation is in this family but isn't this similar to what happened with Andrea Yates? Something is clearly wrong with the wife and the husband plays along! No normal parent would lock a 5 year old child in a room until Mommy got out of bed. Whenever the hell that might be. How scared must this poor baby be? I don't even want to think about it!

I occasionally take a nap in the afternoon (maybe once a week if I am lucky)but Lillianna is either in my room on the computer or watching tv in the living room.(We are in a 2 bedroom apartment so she can't go far.) She wakes me up a million times during my "nap" to either kiss me, ask me a question or tell me something that can't possibly wait until I am awake. There is no situation where I would lock her in her room.

I am glad Dear Abby suggested that the grandmother call DSS.
What would you do if you knew that this was going on in your family?

Lillianna's march on Lexington and Concord

Read about Lillianna's first wargame on DotMoms

I Found Another Great Author!

I keep connecting with authors everytime I read a new blog. Read Jennifer Weiner's 1st chapter of Little Earthquakes.
I thought it was wonderful and I can't wait to buy the book!
Let me know what you think.

Out Damn Spot!

I am getting tired of hand washing our clothes to get out the spots that won't come out in the regular laundry. We use a normal detergent although I have switched around over the years just to see if there was something better. All detergents seem to be the same.

Sometimes I put a stain-free shirt in the laundry and it comes back with some type of oil stain. Is there a secret stain committee that slides cups of oil into our washing machine just to mock us? Where do the stains come from? Should my clothes be coming out of the laundry dirtier than when they went in?

I have invested in the Clorox Bleach stick so that I can fix all the white clothing and that seems to work but what can I do about the oil stains that appear from nowhere? The Shout stick doesn't seem to do much.

I welcome all helpful laundry tips.

Your Life Can't Be Worse Than This

I was just passing by my bedroom when I overheard the t.v.(I leave both t.v.s on when I am home cleaning so I don't miss anything!)
Judge Hatchett was on. I didn't get the whole thing but there was a husband and wife who wanted a divorce. (Why weren't they on Divorce Court with Judge Mablean?)

It seems these two lovely people had met when they worked at a Carnival! Ah, the perfect place for drunk, toothless,tattooed people to meet! Romance at it's finest.But the husband got mad when the wife had an affair with Bobo the clown! Bobo the clown!! That sounds like a match made in heaven! The wife denies this. THEN it gets worse....(Hey Justine if you are reading this you will enjoy the next part because it's just the trash you enjoy on the other blogs.)

This loving couple then moved to Kentucky and they were homeless. Since the dear devoted husband was a janitor at a "peep show" he decided to get his wife a job there as a stripper. She took her clothes off for $1 (Yes, that is ONE U.S. Dollar, folks!) while she stood in a glass boxed room while people watched her. At the end of 12 hours her janitor/carnie/loser husband came to take her tips and leave her a box of Cheez-Itz!
I wouldn't strip for Cheez-Itz! Not even Doritos!

When you are feeling bad about your life for whatever reason, just remember,it could be worse.THIS could be your life. Who am I kidding? This could never be our life! The DNA test just came back and the husband is NOT the father of their child.I was shocked, I tell you! If the child has a red, round, squeaky nose and large floppy shoes I bet I can guess who the real father is.
Any one else want to guess?

Color Blind

Lillianna has quite a collection of dolls. Of course she has the typical Barbie dolls and all Barbie's friends. Then she has 2 "Barbie-like" sports dolls that come with passports and stories about their travels:one plays soccer, the other plays basketball. She has an American Girl Doll and a Hopscotch Hill doll, not to mention various baby dolls. We choose the dolls that interest her. Their skin color and ethnicity are irrelevent. I don't point out which "group" each doll belongs in because it's just not important to either one of us.

My Mom and John have made comments over the years about Lillianna's dolls. "What kind of doll is this? This isn't a white doll!" They kind of joke about it but I wonder why they feel it's necessary to point it out? Lillianna once answered that question with, "That's Nakia. She plays basketball and her passport says she has a dog named Hoops! Isn't that funny, Nana? She has a dog named Hoops. Get it?" My Mom just looked over at me. What can I say? Lillianna has really cool dolls!

What kind of dolls do your kids play with?

A Fun Night at the Carnival

Friday night Rich and I took Lillianna to a carnival with Kristy,Jerry and Amber. Even on the ride there she was clueless as to what her surprise was going to be. We parked the car and began to walk towards the big event.

Finally Lillianna spotted the lights from the rides. "We are at a carnival!! Oh Thank you,Mommy and Daddy! This is the best day of my life!" (She always says that when we do something fun!)

We bought wristbands for the girls and one for Rich too in case an adult was needed. I learned the hard way many years ago that it is much cheaper to buy a wristband instead of individual tickets. When Lillianna was 2 1/2 we went to a little fair that came to town. I couldn't see spending $12 on a wristband. After we spent $30 on tickets and had tons of them leftover I learned a valuable lesson. I have always purchased wristbands since then.

So Lillianna and Amber went on the rides and in the fun house and in the house of glass. Lillianna bumped her head on one of the mirrors. "You really need to use your hands and not your head in there," she announced. Wise child!
We all enjoyed a beautiful fireworks display. Rich had Lillianna on his shoulders and then he put his arm around me. It was the first time we have felt connected as a family in a while. We are always running off in different directions. It was nice to spend some time together.

We finally left the carnival at 11:00pm and we all agreed it was wonderful to have a night out with friends and family. We simply must do this more often.

What fun things do you make time for?

Keeping a Secret

I am not known for being good at keeping a secret. I don't say, "Oh sure, I won't tell anyone," if I know I can't keep my mouth zipped. If someone asks, "Can you keep a secret?" I usually say, "I don't think so but I will try."

When Liane and Brian had breakfast at our house the day Brian was going to propose, he was going to tell me his plans before it happened but then changed his mind. When I finally got the news and he told me he almost confided in me I said, "What is wrong with you? You would've been making a huge mistake telling me. I am not a good pretender! My face would've been all happy and goofy and I would've hugged Liane and cried "Call me later if anything happens!" So, here's an F.Y.I. for you....if you are trying to keep a secret from Liane...don't tell me!"

Of course I have been a keeper of secrets over the years. I think it's only news about exciting upcoming events that I have a problem with: engagements,pregnancies,surprises,etc. Anything private and personal that has been told to me I will take to the grave. I don't believe in violating my friends and family.

So with all this in mind, it is a wonder how many times I keep secrets from Lillianna. This has become a fun new past-time for me. I plan a fun event, I tell her when it is going to happen, but I don't tell her what it is.

The other day I told her we were going to meet Cheryl but I didn't mention we were picking up Mollie on the way and heading to the playground. When she got in the car and saw 2 car seats she asked who the other one was for. I told her it was for Cheryl. She looked at me and asked, "Do we know a little Cheryl?" I didn't say a word. When we picked up Mollie, Lillianna was surprised. Mollie told her where we were going. They were both so excited.

Now I am holding another surprise over my dear child's head. Tonight we are going somewhere fun. That's all I have told her for the past 2 days. This morning she asked me to tell her what the surprise is. Rich and I agreed to tell her who we were going with but not where. So we did. She knows we are going with Kristy and Jerry and Kristy's son's girlfriend's daughter Amber! (Did ya get that?) Brad and Ryana are visiting from Arizona and Lillianna and 2 year old Amber have become buddies. We are going after dinner. That's all she knows.

I can't believe that keeping secrets is so much fun!

Can you keep a secret?
Do you enjoy planning fun events for your kids but not telling them about it until the last minute?

Violation of Playground Etiquette!

I took Lillianna and Mollie to the playground for a little while yesterday. My friend Cheryl and I were having a short visit while she was here from California. So Cheryl and I sat in the gazebo while the girls played. Lillianna and Mollie wanted to be pushed on the tire swing so after 5 requests from the girls I finally agreed to get up from my shaded, breezy seat and go push them.

There were very few people in the playground and we were the only ones in the gazebo so I left our 2 lunch packs and headed off to the tire swing. After about 5 or 10 minutes we were ready to leave since Cheryl had to get back to her sister's house. As we were walking toward the gazebo I saw a boy around 7 or 8 years old drinking from Lillianna's juice box! We had opened them but put them back in the lunch pack to keep them cold.

I yelled, "Hey!" The boy just looked at me. I asked, "What are you doing?" He said nothing. I continued, "Those are not your juice boxes. That is not the right thing to do!" The boy walked away.

I looked all over for some adult that might possibly be keeping an eye on him. No one was looking my way. I walked back to where we had been at the tire swing and there was a man and a woman talking by the regular swings. I said, "Excuse me. Do either of you belong to the boy in the red shirt?" The man in the swing said, "Ya, he's mine." I said, "Well he went into our lunch boxes and drank my daughter's juice box and her friend's juice box." The man said, "Oh....sorry." I said, "Ya, well when I told him it wasn't the right thing to do he didn't seem to care." The man said, "Well, he's..." and then he stopped abruptly. Maybe he was going to say he's a special needs child, maybe not.

Either way, for the boy's safety, this man should've been watching him closely. What if one of the girls had HIV or Hepatitis? They had already been drinking the juice prior to when the boy finished it! I think it's disgusting to have someone pick through our stuff but no harm was really done. I just find it rude that a child of that age would do such a think and a parent/guardian wouldn't be keeping a closer watch, especially if that child were a special needs child!

What do you think?

She Knows The Rules

Yesterday Lillianna and I went to the pool with her best friend,Mollie. As we approached the pool gate Lillianna said, "If Erin(our regular lifeguard) wants to know who Mollie is I will tell her she is my very best friend in the world. And I will tell her that we know all the rules: no noodles in the pool, no jumping and....oh ya....we don't have any alcohol!" I guess she does read the pool signs! I couldn't stop laughing.

Napping Nightmare

Read about my Napping Nightmare over at DotMoms

When do you consider your child's clothes to be dirty?

Rich and I seem to be having somewhat of a debate over clean and dirty clothes. For adult clothes I think the answer is quite simple but for Lillianna's clothes there is controversy.

This morning we planned to wake up early to clean the apartment. We are constantly in and out of here so things get thrown around instead of put away immediately. It drives me crazy. I hate to live in chaos. My life is crazy enough. I don't need my living space to push me over the edge.

I was trying to hang up Lillianna's skirt set that she had worn yesterday but I couldn't find it. I asked Rich if he had thrown it in the hamper even though it was clean!
He said he did because it had been thrown on the living room rug. I realize the rug needs to be vacuumed ( I will get to it as soon as I am done with this post!)but the filth police do not come out at night and dump dirt and debris on skirts which are left on the rug! That skirt was perfectly clean!

I put Lillianna's clothes in the hamper if they have a stain on it: food,grass,dirt...whatever. She is 6 1/2 years old! A clean skirt doesn't get thrown in the hamper just because she wore it! Rich can't understand this so maybe I am wrong. (Ya, what are the odds?)

So let me know your opinion. When do you consider your child's clothes to be dirty?

Last Comic Standing.......How did this happen?

So Ant and Gary went head to head tonight on Last Comic Standing. Rich and I were sitting on the couch watching this new addiction of mine when Lillianna came in and plopped down next to me.

We watched as Gary did his act first. He was funnier than usual but we barely broke out into a smile. Then Ant came onstage. The three of us were laughing hysterically. Ant is just a funny guy no matter what you may think of him personally. The whole "alliance" thing in the house is too similar to SURVIVOR. I want people judged on their talent alone not their ability to form an alliance.

So it was clear to us that Ant was going to win this one and Gary would be sent packing. When it was announced that the winner won by a 73% vote, all I could think of was "That's all?" I thought Ant would've won by a landslide! Thank G-d Lillianna was lying on my lap otherwise I would've fallen off the couch when Jay pointed to Gary as the winner!! Gary? Gary? He wasn't even funny!

I have got to stop watching these damn shows!

The Day We All Cried! (Happy Anniversary, Liane and Brian!)

July 5th 1997 was a beautiful day. I was 7 months pregnant and a bridesmaid in my dear friend Liane's wedding. Liane and I have been friends since we were 12 years old.

When I got to Liane's sister's house I saw Brian standing outside. I warned him to stay away...bad luck and all to see the bride. When I saw Liane in her beautiful gown I nearly cried. She looked so elegant. Later when I ran outside to find Rich, Brian touched my arm and asked, "How does she look?" I had to choke back the tears as I said, "She looks like Wedding Day Barbie...only real!" He nodded.

I have loved Liane since the day we met in junior high school. To this day there is a bond of love and trust between us that is very rare and believe me, we both cherish it!
The courtship between Liane and Brian was wonderful and funny but it's their story to tell so I will just say that two wonderful people who were destined to be together finally met and got married. All the people that loved and adored them were asked to be in that wedding.

So here we were standing in the entry way of the church waiting to walk down the aisle. The ushers were strolling down casually when Liane heard her wedding music and said quietly, "I really love this song." (I believe she said it was the song Maria walked down the aisle to in THE SOUND OF MUSIC.) Well.....just the look on Liane's face: hopeful,happy,peaceful,content.....it was our undoing! I don't know who was first,(Ok, so maybe it was me....no one knows for sure)but someone started to cry. Liane's cousin Jodi started to pass out tissues to each one of us. The feelings we had for Liane suddenly overwhelmed us all. Her sister Linda, her cousin Jodi, Brian's sister Joely, Brian's cousin Nancy and me found ourselves sobbing uncontrollably.

Now it was time to walk down the aisle. Holding our long stemmed rose in the crook of our left arm and holding a wad of tissues in our right hand we bravely made the walk (I waddled!)from the back of the church to the front, crying all the way.
When we got to the front where we lined up side by side we were still sobbing hysterically.

The minister stood there in confusion for a few moments. I bet he was hoping we could compose ourselves.Then he cleared his throat and said, "Well, I have never seen this before. Usually there is crying after the ceremony." Hoping to make it all perfectly clear to one and all I blurted out between sobs, "We just really love them!" As the words came flying out of my mouth I was thinking,"I didn't just yell that out in church did I? Leave it to the Jewish girl!"

In order to get through the ceremony we all held hands and tried to calm each other down. A few minutes later the crying subsided and we paid attention to the ceremony.
My heart felt like it was going to erupt like a volcano. I was filled with so much love for these two people who meant so much to me. As they took their wedding vows they were surrounded with so much love I felt like I could reach out and touch it.

So to my dear friends Liane and Brian....HAPPY ANNIVERSARY! WE LOVE YOU!!

Lani Diane Rich

Sometimes I start off at DotMoms and browse through everyone's blog. Then I hop onto the blogs each Dotmom recommends. Sometimes I end up a million steps away from Dotmoms and I am not quite sure how I ended up there. I don't believe there are any mistakes when it comes to fate so when I found myself on Lani Diane Rich's blog I just settled in and began reading.

I found Lani to be completely fascinating. I have read many blogs lately but the writing just drew me in. Then she talked about the book she had written. I surfed around until I found the site where I could read the 1st chapter in her book that will be available in October 2004. The book is called Time Off For Good Behavior and it is awesome! grab a cup of coffee and read this wonderful first chapter.

I am planning on making Lani my new favorite author. Move over Nora Roberts. You have some serious competition.

So do yourself a favor and head on over to Lani's website. Then dash back over here and tell me how much you loved it! October seems too long to wait to read the rest of this fantastic book. Doesn't she know I am impatient??

A depressed tarantula?

I believe in many things. I do not believe in pet psychics. "I see Fluffy is acting aloof. She likes her 'alone' time. She comes and goes as she pleases." Ya know why? She is a damn cat that's why! How do you challenge a pet psychic? "Meow...meooooooow.....MEowwwwww!" "What Fluffy? You didn't say that? This woman is a fraud?.....Be gone you charlatan! My Fluffy says you are a big fat liar!"

Let's get real here, people! It is with this thought in mind that I present you with the story of the depressed tarantula. It seems a tarantula was found in an auto body shop somewhere in Massachusetts. They are guessing it made it's journey in an auto parts box that came from Florida. So, one of the workers put the hairy specimen in a cup and took it to the veterinarian. Brilliant minds looked the arachnid over and proclaimed that the tarantula was quite dehydrated and severely depressed!

How do you really know when a tarantula is depressed? How many years of education does such a thing require? How do you prove such a thing? Better yet, how do you dispute it?

"What do you mean, he's depressed? He just had a free trip up here. He should be happy! I will go buy him an ice cream cone and then we will go to the movies. That'll perk him up!"

If anyone has the answers I would appreciate hearing from you.

An email from Lillianna

When I am at work (which seems to be all the time!) Lillianna and I email each other during the day. I sent her an email yesterday asking her if she saw her cousins (referred to as "the girls") when she visited her uncle's pizza shop. Today they are going to our friend Kristy's house to meet her and then follow Kristy to her cousin's house for a 4th of July cook-out/pool party.

Lillianna just sent me the email below. It just made me laugh. I love her being 6 1/2 years old. She can email me by herself. That is so cool. I especially love her typos. I want to save this forever to remember how she was trying to sound out words. My favorite is "jlie"! She has the "j" sound and then "lie". That makes sense to me. And "bucks" if you can't figure it out is "because". I love this little note.


mom no the girls wrer not there y you ask bucks thay were at ther auntis house.
rite now daddy is in the shwoer then we are going to auntie kristes house to
folo them to toms house for the forth of jlie.
hope to here from you soon.
love
moon pie

AND WITH THAT I WISH YOU ALL A HAPPY FORTH OF JLIE!!

Pool Rules?

We have a beautiful swimming pool at our apartment complex. We have a lifeguard. We also have rules to make sure that no one has any fun. There are no noodles or floating things allowed. I can understand not having giant rafts floating and bumping into people because someone could get stuck under a raft and not be able to come up for air. I have seen that happen and it is damn scary!! But no noodles? Even I like to balance on a noodle!

Since the rules are so very strict I was surprised when 2 brothers got into the pool (ages 7 and 10 approximately) and began to WHIP a tennis ball clear across the pool to one another. There was one, "Be careful boys," from the lifeguard and that was it! Their mom chatted in oblivion on her cell phone the whole time.

Let's compare, shall we? Let's say I am sitting on a noodle and it gets out from under me and bumps someone's back. "I'm sorry," I would say politely and then move away. Now let's say I am hurling a tennis ball clear across the pool and it strikes someone in the eye! Hey, I work at EYEBALLS so I know what kind of things can happen. There is no polite "I'm sorry" in this scenario. There is the victim who is covering his eye with his hands crying out in pain. Then there is the frantic ride to the ophthalmologist's office for a diagnosis. Maybe some blurred vision is noticed if the victim can even open his eye at this point. I will stop it here because it can go on for quite some time but I think you get the idea. So I ask you, which is safer: a noodle or a tennis ball?

Happy Birthday, Mommy

Today is my Mom's birthday. She is 67 years old. I remember when she was pregnant with my sister at the age of 37 and I thought she was ancient! My perspective sure has changed over the years.

I grew up in a home where my parents and grandparents loved and adored me. I had no idea that other kids weren't being treated this way in their own homes. I was never hit, although Mom gave me "the look" more times than I want to think about. Even when Mom and I didn't see eye to eye, I always knew she loved me.

My mom is a wonderful mother and she is an amazing Nana to Lillianna.

So HAPPY BIRTHDAY, MOMMY,
I love you!!

A Punk Rock Band

Even when I was a teenager and punk rock was all the rage, I didn't like it. I was more an "Air Supply" kind of girl. I sang along with the beautiful melodies about love gone wrong and lost love.

I didn't know why punk rockers were so gosh darn angry all the time. Clearly they had issues. Perhaps a family counselor could have helped them? Why were they always yelling? Was their hearing somehow lacking?

Well, tonight when I finished working at THE HOSPITAL at 11:00pm I headed over to the club down the street. I haven't been "clubbing" since the early 90's so don't think I have started a new trend. I am still the old fuddy duddy I have always been. My friend, Kristy's son Brian came home to visit for a week. He is 26 years old and he used to be in a punk rock band called The Suburban Rejects. I had heard the band practicing in the garage years ago but I had never heard them really perform.

Brian's step-brother, Pete used to be in the band with him but when Brian took off suddenly to the west coast 2 years ago, Pete joined a new band called 12 Cent. Both bands were playing at this nearby club. Kristy asked me earlier in the day if I wanted to stop by.I didn't think I would actually do it. I am so glad that I did.

I remember my first rock concert in the 80's. I went to see The Cars in Boston Garden. They sucked!! They literally stood on stage and played each song. I remember being surprised and saying to my date, "They sound better on my album!" He looked like he was going to kill me so I kept quiet but I was very disappointed.

The Suburban Rejects and 12 Cent did not have this problem. They were obviously playing for the sheer joy of it. I have no idea what the heck they were shouting about but the tunes were great. Oh sure, they yelled alot of F$%# yous and who knows what else but they were clearly having such a great time I just laughed. Brian's old band mates were happy to have Brian back in the fold if only temporarily. The bad blood that was once between them when Brian left for the west coast was gone. It was just the old gang happy to be reunited once again.
Boyhood friends stopping time. I enjoyed myself so much. The comedic banter in between and during their songs made me laugh. These are funny guys who love to perform. Who knew I would attend my first punk rock concert at the age of 41?

Thanks to The Suburban Rejects and 12 Cent for putting on an awesome show! To Brian and Pete I just have this to say: You have a lot of talent! It was amazing watching you sing and laugh and just go crazy.
So should I be dying my hair blue now?