This "new" invention looks familiar

I'm off today so instead of relaxing like I thought I would I am cleaning every single room. The t.v. is on in the background and I heard a commercial that sounded interesting so I went to see what the product looked like. Kara and Lillianna are always cold so I thought maybe this would be something I would buy for them.

The commercial was for Snuggie,the fleece blanket with sleeves.

I hate to be the one to break this to the inventor of this great product but the snuggie is A BATHROBE!!!! How is this not a bathrobe?
How did this get by the patent people? Are we so stupid that they thought we wouldn't recognize a bathrobe if it had a new name?

Maybe I'll come up with some new products too.
How about knitted finger warmers? (Don't confuse them with gloves!)
High rubber shoes that protect you from the snow. (They're kind of like boots but not boots.)
Beneath your outerwear. (Let's not say underwear since it's a new product!)

So here's my challenge: Make up some of your own new/old products and either write about them on your own blog or leave them as comments for me. We could all get rich with a new invention. That would solve our money problems!

Like Mother,Like Daughter

Lillianna got her 1st report card of 5th grade today. She got all As!!!!I didn't give it much thought before I got it but I figured she'd get As and Bs. I had no idea she'd get high honors.

That's my girl!!

Congratulations to my intelligent daughter.

An interesting headline

So the headline reads,"Why Americans are still cutting back on spending." I didn't even look at it. What new information can this article provide?
The reason that Americans are cutting back on spending is because....

WE HAVE NO FREAKIN' MONEY TO SPEND!!!


I guess that's all I have to say.

Tomorrow is Kara's birthday!!

It's all true....tomorrow Kara turns 34. Damn! I remember the day she was born. I've probably told Kara the story of her birth for the past 33 years. Sometimes it seems like she hates hearing about when she was younger so I'll spare her the story this year...maybe. We'll have to see.It's a good story and it always makes me cry.

Anyway...the funny thing is this:

I got married at 31 and Kara who was 19 at the time told me that 31 was way too old to get married for the first time. She got married at 32.
I got pregnant at 34 but by the time Lillianna was born I was 35. Kara told me that was too old to be pregnant for the first time. She is turning 34 tomorrow and she is due with her first child....probably her only one too.

I guess age is all relative..... especially when relatives are involved.

Well everyone knows that I absolutely adore my sister so with all the love in my heart I say.....Happy Birthday to my favorite sister. I hope this year will be filled with lots of joy and unexpected wonderful surprises.

On your next birthday your daughter will be 9 months old!
Just think about that!

I love you!

Don't come to my house for dinner

It's no secret that I hate to cook but tonight I made a dinner that all 3 of us like....well,at least we used to.

Lillianna has a new addiction to Soy Vay terriyaki sauce. She likes this marinade on salmon,beef tips and chicken.

Rich is kind of a bland guy but the last time I made chicken in this sauce he ate it. I made him a baked potato and made sweet potato french fries for me and Lillianna.

The chicken was too saucy and dry. Rich's baked potato was over baked and hard on the bottom. The sweet potato fries were more squishy than usual so I broiled them for a few minutes and Lillianna hated that.

Dinner was horrible event though I had the best of intentions.
So,if you're looking for a good meal don't come to my house for dinner. Apparently I can't cook!

I could get my master's degree

Yup....it's all true. I could get my master's degree in just 15 months. I thought something like that was time consuming but hey... 15 months is just a bit over one year. I know people who spent years getting that thing. Idiots!

The internet ad says I can get my degree online,any time,any where. That's just awesome. I can be anything I want to be even if I've never taken a course before. Golly gee....college life has sure changed since I was in school. I think I'll be something wicked smaht...ya know,like a professa.

So....whaddya think?

What's the big deal about being gay?

Clay Aiken recently revealed he was gay. I read an article about him and he said he was afraid his fans would be upset or that people would turn against him. The only way this news would've disturbed me is if I'd been dating Clay and I had hoped he would propose soon. Yes,then the news would've devastated me because it would've had a huge impact on my life. No wedding for me and the love of my life is gay? That would totally suck!....but that's not the case.

I really don't care what anyone is doing in his/her life unless it's harmful to someone else or if it directly impacts my life. Is that selfish? I just think everyone has a right to live his/her own life.

I remember when there was all that hoopla about Sponge Bob Square Pants being gay.
Can a sponge be gay? Do we really have to have a conversation about that?

I wrote a post about a book that told the true story of 2 male penguins.

I just think the world is ridiculous. Live and let live. Isn't that a motto somewhere?

Happy 11th Birthday Lillianna!!

Today Lillianna is 11. She woke up at 4:30am to go to the bathroom and then she stayed up. The alarm was set for 4:45am anyway because she wanted to count down to 4:59am which is the time she was born so 4:30am wasn't too early for us.

She opened her presents and then I came in here to type up her birthday notes that I put on all her food in her lunch box. Here's what I did this year.

On her peanut butter and fluff sandwich:

Hey....is that you peanut butter?
No...it's a tuna sandwich! Of course it's me!
Did you hear that today is Lillianna's 11th birthday?
That's impossible...Lillianna is like...I don't know....5??
Ya...she was 5 about 6 years ago. Today she is 11.
You'd think she would be eating something more mature like caviar.
She's not gonna eat peanut butter and fluff and fish eggs!
Ya...that is kinda gross.
Ya think??
HAPPY BIRTHDAY,LILLIANNA!!


On her bottle of water:

I am no ordinary bottle of H2O.
I've got stuff in me that makes you grow.
I think it's mold and fungus and stuff
No...I'm just joking
to make you luff...uhm...laugh
(Why didn't I just rhyme something with laugh?
Lots of words rhyme with laugh...
half,calf,staff...is that it?
No wonder I rhymed it with luff!!)
Happy Birthday!

On her Scooby Doo fruit snacks:

Scooby Snacks?
How is there a surviving pack
of fruit snacks in here?
Didn't Lillianna eat them all up on Sunday??
Oh,her mom bought her another pack?
Good thing too. That Lillianna is a
total fruit snack pig. No offense!
Oh ya...and Happy Birthday!Oink!


On her cupcake.

My name is Drake.
I am a cupcake.
So yummy and gooooood
a sugary food.
(Did ya like how I made good
into gooooood so it rhymed with
food? That takes great talent.
Oh ya and....Happy Birthday!)





On her peanutbutter crackers:

Crackers crackers in a pack
I'm a healthy energy snack
When you feel the need to eat
choose me for your special treat!!
Happy Birthday from the cracker pack!


On her granola bar:

Granola is so good for you
oats and bran and tree bark too
That can't be right it can't be true
If you pooped a tree what would you do?
Happy Birthday from your
thoughful granola bar!

And here's the note from me:

Happy 11th Birthday

I don't know how it's come again
It seems like you were only 10
one year ago with ten little candles
It's just way more than your mom can handle

And now one candle is added this year
You have turned eleven so stand up and cheer
for one whole year you'll be eleven
but next year you'll be five plus seven
(that's 12 for those who can't do the math)

Happy birthday to my precious girl
you're the brightest star in my whole world.

(Ya I get that girl and world don't actually rhyme
but I think I can make it rhyme and that's called
poetic license. It's not like a driving license
because you can't make up your own rules when
you drive. You'd just get arrested if you did but
when you write poetry you can kind of do what you
want and call it poetry. Isn't that cool?)

Happy Birthday Lillianna!!!


So those are my crazy birthday notes. They always make her laugh so I keep writing them. Tonight she is having a bunch of her friends sleep over and one of my co-workers who is a manicurist will be coming to do their nails. I love her sleep overs. They're always so much fun for all of us.

My child is almost 11!

Lillianna will be 11 on Friday. Eleven! What kind of number is that? It's a darn scary one,that's for sure. Yesterday while I was waking her up for school I told her it was fun raising her so far but 11 is out of my league so I'm going to trade her in for a 5 and 6 year old. I'm good with those ages! Lillianna just laughed and said,"You helped raise Auntie and she was 11!"
I rolled my eyes and said,"Fine....I guess I'll keep you!"

That kid has an answer for everything. She knows she is the joy of my life even though I torture her whenever I can. That's my favorite part of motherhood.
She knows there are surprises ahead that I won't tell her about but that's so much fun for me. I love to torture her by keeping her surprises a secret.

If you're reading this,Lillianna,and hoping that I'll reveal something.....too bad! Not gonna happen!! You'll just have to wait and see.

One more day of being 10 and then.....the number will change. *sigh* My baby isn't a baby anymore. I just pray the teen years will be good for us and that I won't have to go on Dr.Phil with my out of control teen in a few years.

Happy(almost)Birthday,Noodle!! I love you!!

Twenty One Years Ago Today

Every time I see the date September 29th my heart breaks. It's been 21 years since my dad died but in a lot of ways it seems like it just happened yesterday.

Every year I get a little sadder as I remember all the good times I shared with my father. He was just so wonderful and he died way too soon. I wrote about the day he died two years ago so if you'd like you can read about it here.

The good news is that Lillianna came running into the living room yesterday because her radio turned on and off by itself and she was freaked out. I just laughed and told her not to worry. Dad does something like that on his birthday in May and on the anniversary of when he died.He loved music and it's his way of saying he's here. I always know he's around but it's fun when he gives me a little sign.

Also,I haven't really said much about Kara's pregnancy but IT'S A GIRL!!....and she's naming the baby after our dad,Charlie,and her mother-in-law Linda. My little niece will be named Charley Lynn. We are so excited to have a Charley back in the family.

You'd think after 21 years I wouldn't have anymore tears to shed over my dad but you'd be wrong. I cried through this whole post.

I try to keep my dad's memory alive so that Lillianna will know all about the grandfather that she never knew. My Uncle Robert,(Dad's brother)always tells funny stories about Dad which I love. I'm still learning things about him that I never knew. That's so much fun for me and I treasure all those stories.

It's so weird that Dad would've been 72 this past May but for me he will always be
51. Considering I'll be 46 in a few months that is really strange for me to think he wasn't much older than I am now when he died. I try not to think about that.

I miss you, Daddy!

Lillianna's first dance

Lillianna went to her first dance last night.
You can read about it here.

I can't believe she will be 11 in less than 2 weeks. Time sure flies when you're a mom.

I just had to laugh!

I wrote about a Yoplait yogurt commercial over a year ago.
It's a dippy commercial and I find the people in it to be a tad bitter. So I wrote about....that's what I do.....I write.
Today I got this comment.

Wow... I've never read anyone be so bitter about a commercial. Talk about over analyitcal. Try going out and doing something to brighten your life because you just make me feel like everyone should be royally ticked off at all times. AT YOGURT!

At first I felt angry because I have never left a nasty or rude comment on anyone's blog in all the years I have been online. I feel they are unnecessary. If I don't like what someone has written I just move on. I don't say one word. Why be a bitch,right?

After reading this for the second time it made me laugh. She is accusing me of being bitter but she was bitter about the fact that she thought I was bitter for no reason. That's just funny!!

Doesn't anyone use a camera anymore?

Lillianna has her 2 friends over today,Michael and Katie. The four of us were playing a board game that uses large plastic chips. Michael put a chip in each eye and he looked like Little Orphan Annie. We all laughed because he really looked funny.

Michael said,"Quick,somebody get a phone and take my picture."

That's how I know this is 2008. It's a sign of the times!

Why is history repeating itself?

Rich brought a box to the house the other day which had been stored in the trunk of his car for 5 years. It was filled with all my diaries! I had no idea that that's where they had been. I thought they were lost. (Rich had a bunch of boxes in his trunk due to lack of storage space in the apartment.)

I started reading them. I was shocked and very sad. Starting from 1978 when I was 15 years old and going until 1993 when I was 30 the entries all sound about the same. Even in my diaries from Israel 1985-1987 it's all the same.

"I love ______. (Insert any American or Israeli male name here.) Why can't he just love me for me? Why does he play these stupid games with me? When will I ever be happy? When will _______ (Insert male name again.)just show me some affection? Am I so difficult to love?"

It's all the same....over and over and over again.
Here I am at 45. My marriage has been the longest relationship that I've ever had and yet if I were to write a diary entry today I could still use the formula above. Nothing has changed. I am still waiting for the right man to love me unconditionally and to be affectionate. My life hasn't changed in 30 years. I think that is even sadder than Rich leaving.

I guess life goes on

A few weeks before my 40th birthday in 2003, Rich told me that he didn't want to be married anymore because he was unhappy so he moved out. It was completely devastating to me and to our poor 5 year old daughter. I will never get that picture out of my head. Lillianna was sitting on Rich's lap and she held his face in her hands and cried,"Why Daddy?....Why??" That memory still makes me sick.

All marriages have their ups and downs. I don't know anyone with a fairytale marriage. So imagine my surprise when Lillianna and I came home after a fun dinner at her favorite Chinese restaurant and we saw Rich's car in the lot. He was supposed to be at his night job until 10pm.

The first thing I noticed was that the end of the table where Rich paints his soldiers was empty. I asked him why he put his stuff away. He gave a vague answer but I had a bad feeling in the pit of my stomach. Finally he said he was moving out.

Just like that...he wasn't happy and he was leaving. When he moved back in 5 years ago he had said that he would never ever leave me and Lillianna again but lo and behold he lied.

So in the end I told him to just go tonight. I didn't want him here anymore. He left.
Now it's just me and Lillianna and that's just fine with me.

Bridezillas

Lillianna is absolutely fascinated by the show Bridezillas. Sometimes I watch it because I just don't believe that there are brides out there who act like complete bitches before,during and after their wedding. It always kills me when the bride spends millions of dollars and the groom just shrugs and says,"Whatever you want,sweetie." Who are these men who take such crap from their future wife?

I got married almost 14 years ago and my wedding was nothing like the ones I have seen on this show. On today's episode,the bride was helping pick out her maid of honor's dress. She admitted that she wanted to find the ugliest dress for her m.o.h. because she didn't want anyone to out shine her on her special day.

I took my bridesmaids and my maid of honor (my dear sister,Kara)to several bridal shops so that they could pick out whatever dress they liked best. I had been to a wedding years ago and the bridesmaids had an off the shoulder gown and they spent all night pulling up their dress so that their breasts wouldn't pop out. That seemed like a lot of work to me so I wanted my bridal party to be beautiful and comfortable. I never worried about someone out shining me. I just wanted everyone to be happy.

In Bridezillas today, the bride's future mother-in-law was a florist and she was going to do all the flowers. The bride wanted the most expensive flowers that were out of season. She also wanted crystals hanging from the flowers. Her poor MIL was horrified and told her it would look like a trailer park wedding.The bride yelled,"I've been dreaming of my wedding since I was 4 years old!! This is what I want!" I handled my florist a bit differently.

Mom and Kara came with me on the first meeting with my florist. She began showing us books and asking about what I had in mind. I asked her,"Have you done any other weddings before mine?" She laughed and said she had been doing this for many years. Handing her a piece of the bridesmaids dresses I said,"Great! This is what my bridesmaids will be wearing. Create something that will look pretty with this."

She was stunned and asked if I had any ideas. I said,"I have nothing in mind. I don't know anything about flowers and since you do,I'm leaving it in your hands." She thought I was very easy going. My flowers were absolutely gorgeous!

We got married at the same place where our reception was held and when I met with the woman in charge of the hall she asked me what kind of linens I wanted. Again,I showed her my bridesmaid's dress and said,"Since you've done this before,do whatever you think will be best. I have no idea about color schemes." She was thrilled and the end result was perfect.

The only thing that caused a controversy was the music. Mom insisted on a live band and I wanted a DJ. I hate live bands at a wedding. I can't ever recognize the tune until it's too late. With a DJ, everything sounds the way it's supposed to. I stood my ground and in the end Mom said if I had to have a DJ then she would find the best one for me.....and she did.

I don't know why these women enjoy being a bridezilla. I would be horrified and embarrassed if I acted like that. Well,I guess that's what makes great t.v. No one would watch if the bride was sweet and easy going.

The very first peanut butter and jam sandwich!

Kara called me today to tell me that she and Peter went to the beach. Her appetite has been off since SHE IS PREGNANT!!!! Yup...it's true. I feel like I've been waiting a century for this news but my sister is expecting her first baby 3 days after my birthday.....that's February 12th for people who don't know mine is the 9th.

I was stunned to learn that Kara has NEVER eaten a peanut butter sandwich in her 33 1/2 years but today she had some of Peter's peanut butter and seedless raspberry jam sandwich and she loved it.

Who knows....she may even try a peanut butter and fluff sandwich. That's what Lillianna lives on during the school year.

So hooray for Kara and her very first pb&j and hooray for me because I'm going to be an auntie!!! Well.....I guess Kara and Peter deserve the credit for that one.

When do I get to have fun?

Chaos! That's the only word that describes my apartment right now. Nothing is in it's place and most things don't really have a place because the apartment isn't big enough to hold all our precious belongings. My side of the closet has 2 giant Rubbermaid bins that hold our Christmas stuff so I don't have any space on the floor. I refuse to pay $50 a month for storage for because it's way too expensive.

Lillianna is making a 4 bedroom house out of cardboard for a class project and all the paper,paints,cardboard and this giant house are taking up the living room and dining room. Thank goodness it's due on Monday. I'll be happy to get those rooms back to normal....whatever that means.

It's 90 something degrees out today and of course Lillianna wants to go to the pool. Neither one of us has a bathing suit. She outgrew all of hers and mine was kind of coming apart last year so I don't think I can wear it again. Meanwhile,the clutter in here is giving me an anxiety attack. I'm almost done with my bedroom and then I'm off to the kitchen. Somewhere along the way I have to shower.

If I can finish everything by 3pm then we'll go bathing suit shopping. I can't relax until this place looks half way decent. I look forward to the weekends and then I can't enjoy them. That sucks!

Burn Baby Burn!

The two fourth grade classes recorded poems and plays on a CD. Lillianna's teacher wanted to find a company that would make 50 copies of this CD so that each child could have one. I told Lillianna that I would make 25 and I could probably persuade another mom to do the other 25.

I started making them yesterday and after 3 hours tonight,they're all done. I burned all 50 of them myself. I'm exhausted. I never want to see another CD!
Lillianna is very proud of me. That makes it all worth it.

I just wanted a phone without a cord

About 4 years ago our cordless phone broke. For some reason I bought an old fashioned phone with a cord to replace it. At first it was mounted on the wall but that didn't really work because I could only stand directly in front of the phone when I was using it. No movement was possible. That's when I pulled if off the wall and let it sit on the little table beneath it. This gave me about 3 feet of roaming room. Basically, I could reach the sink in the kitchen or possibly with a good stretch I could reach the microwave.

Yesterday, I went shopping for a new phone.
Lillianna and I went to Target and stood in the aisle where the phones were on display. They ranged in price from $20 to $200. The cheaper one looked cheap and the high end phone could basically mow your lawn if necessary.I just wanted a phone without a cord.

I read each description as I made my way down the aisle. One phone came with 3 handsets. You could use the phone as a child monitor or an intercom system through out the house. I'm in an apartment. What the heck do I need that for? My idea of a monitor is yelling in the next room,"Lil?" She yells,"What?" and I say,"Just checking." She's 10. That's good enough for me. As for an intercom,well,my voice travels.

I thought I could choose a phone without too much trouble but I was stumped. One phone had a built in answering machine but I already have voice mail through comcast. That would just confuse me. One phone was able to access the internet. I have a computer for that. I just want a phone that's a phone without a cord!!

Knowing that Rich was waiting for us in the car,I flagged down an employee who helped me choose my phone. It's just what I wanted. It does have a 411 Google button for information which I'm not too sure about but other than that it's a phone without a cord. Finally!

Little trampy pre-schoolers

Why did Beyonce go and create a clothing line for little tramps....I mean girls.
Have you seen the ads? check out this one.

Gonzo and Wendy Murphy were talking about this subject on WRKO this morning and I was stunned. Beyonce has created spandex,feathered boas and hoochie clothes for young innocent girls. Plus,she also has what every little girl should have....stilettos!

I want names of the mothers who are buying these clothes. Lillianna had a boa in her dress up box when she was younger and it could still be there but she doesn't tart herself up and wear it outside the home. I wouldn't allow it.

I don't even let her wear pants that have writing on the butt. She's ten. Don't be looking at my kid's butt!

I'm sure pedophiles are thanking Beyonce right now for supporting their cause. Go ahead and make the little ones look like adults. It's easier for the level 3 sex offenders to spot their prey.

I think this whole thing is pretty disgusting. Children should be children for as long as they can. If they choose to be a slut in their adult life then that is up to them. Any mother who buys this line of clothes for their precious little girl should be brought up on child abuse charges.

It's almost over

I'm looking forward to May 20th because by then we'll be done with Girl Scouts,dancing school and Hebrew school for the next 2 1/2 months. YAHOO!
May is always a busy month but this year seems even more hectic.

Today is Lillianna's dress lesson at dancing school. Tomorrow is her last day of Girl Scouts so they're having a pizza party and a magician. Tomorrow night is our Lions Club meeting right after Girl Scouts. Saturday is her dress rehearsal and Sunday is Mother's Day.

Next week isn't so bad but next weekend I work on Saturday and then the dance recital is Sunday. Monday is our last Hebrew class.....then it's May 20th!!!

Once Lillianna gets out of school in June my work schedule will be horrible but I can deal with it for the summer.....I think.

Gotta run now and pick Lillianna up from school!!

What kind of illness is that?

Rich got the flu and he was generous enough to share it with me.I'm not sure I really meant it when I agreed to love him in sickness and in health. I ended up missing 4 days of work last week!

Other than being out on maternity leave 10 years ago and recovering after my attack of pancreatitis 2 1/2 years ago,I have never missed 4 days of work in one week in the 17 years that I've been at my job. I was very tired and my throat and ears hurt. The nurse put me on amoxicillin and said to rest. I couldn't stop sleeping. Every time I woke up I wanted to go back to sleep.

I finally felt better for the first time on Saturday and I'm getting better every day. I actually slept late this morning and then started cleaning. Of course since I cleaned so much I took a 2 hour nap in the late afternoon but at least I'll be ready for work on Wednesday. I have today and tomorrow off because Lillianna is on vacation.

I was so surprised how knocked out I felt. The last time I was this sick was the winter of 1987 when I lived in Israel. My temperature was 103 which is extremely high for me because I almost never go above 99 no matter how sick I am. I may have other symptoms but I rarely run a fever.

I was too sick to even drag my body to see the nurses on the kibbutz so one of my friends went to tell them what my symptoms were.My friend came back with blue Acamol which is the equivalent of Tylenol with Codeine. I loved those blue pills back then. The nurses thought Acamol could cure anything and I guess it kind of did.

So when she gave me the pills she said that the nurse told her I had INFLUENZA!
My mouth dropped open. "Influenza????" I croaked in my raspy voice. "Don't people die from Influenza?" I kept thinking it was the Bubonic plague even though I wasn't actually sure what that entailed.

I kept repeating the dreaded disease to try to make sense of my diagnosis,"Influenza......Influenza.....Influenza...." Then it finally hit me and I asked,"Oh....do you mean I have The Flu?" My friend who was from England and probably knew what the hell Influenza was and wondered why I was going insane just nodded. Phew! I was relieved to learn that I would survive this illness.

So....that was my last big illness......21 years ago....that is until last week. I hate being sick but at least I was told I had a virus and not something like Scurvy 'cuz that would really make me crazy.

Wanna look thinner?.....buy this shirt!

I was looking in Wal-Mart for a couple of somewhat dressy tops to wear to the temple on Saturday morning services. Everything in the plus size section was for old ladies and women who wanted to look pregnant. I am not in either category.

I passed by a display of striped shirts. The tag on the shirts read,"This will make you look instantly thinner." I took a good look at the shirt and I figured out their thin secret. The stripes are so swirly,just looking at them made me dizzy and I had to look away. I started to squint to make the pain in my head go away. The shirts were blinding. Of course I'd look thinner in it. Who could look at me? It's like looking at the sun! I had to shield my eyes.

If someone tried to look at me it would be impossible for them to keep their eyes open. I'd be Twiggy in the swirly striped shirt! What a great sneaky technique. Blind them with stripes!! Maybe I'll just paint over my old shirts and attach neon letters. I'll be so thin then!

Chest pains

I had some chest pain and tingling down my left arm on Tuesday and it worried me. Since my hospitalization in 2005,every time I have some weird symptom I think this is the end. I was considering calling my pcp and canceling my hair appt to go see her but then the pain went away and I figured I'd be ok.

The pain had been happening all that day in work off and on and of course I don't want to die yet but denial is a fun place to be at times. So as I sat in the chair with color on my head,the pain and tingling returned. I called my pcp's office and was told she was on vacation. This was at 4:30pm and I wanted to get in before they closed although the color was still on my head! The secretary told me to call 911 and go to the hospital. I didn't want to do that.

When my hair was finished,my hairdresser Karen massaged some cream on my arm and back because I could feel a knot in my arm. Then she told me that my left shoulder was swollen. (I had my scrubs on so my shoulders were kind of poking out in the back and she could see the swelling.) I went home with Lillianna,had dinner and tried to ignore the symptoms that I figured were a pinched nerve or stress related.

Yesterday morning,Rich stayed home and took me to the doctor. I saw Allison who is a nurse that I have seen many times. I really like her. She said my back had knots and was really tight on the left side. She saw the swelling too. Before she came in the tingling had gone up the left side of my neck,face and head. I thought I was having a stroke.

Luckily it's all related to the muscles which is causing these problems. I'm on a muscle relaxer and I have to heat my back during the day. She told me to take yesterday and today off and I can go back tomorrow. I do feel much better today. The tingling is gone but the back pain is still there.

I have parent/teacher conferences at 2pm today and lunch with Lil and friends at 11:30am (early dismissal)so I didn't take the Flexoril. I need to drive and talk coherently and the Flexoril causes me to be tired and to sound drunk. I'll take a pill tonight!

As I was leaving I said to Allison,"Well....I'm glad I'm not dying!"
She smiled at me and said,"Not today."
For me....that was the best news I could've heard!

Clutter.....BE GONE!

My bedroom was depressing me. We don't have any storage space in this apartment so it always seems cluttered.

I have a beautiful collections of fairies on my bureau that I haven't seen for months. Every now and then I get a glimpse of a glittery fairy wing but they're basically buried under a thousand little papers,stray socks,bills and layers and layers of dust. Just typing the word made me sneeze!

Due to a car problem this morning I ended up not going in to work. The car is fine now but I took it as a sign that I was meant to find meaning in the chaos of my bedroom and clean it all up! That's just what I did.

Except for a small messy space,this room is 95% better than it was this morning. I love it!! My lovely fairies are all displayed on my bureau without dust weighing them down. I have always gotten such joy from looking at my fairies and now I can do it again.

Some time last year I created a meditation area on the night stand next to my side of the bed. I took everything off of it and draped my sheer pink scarf from my matron of honor dress from Kara's wedding across the top. I placed about 10 or 15 things that brought me joy on the table: A large green candle with an "R" on it that Kara gave me, little porcelain hands that are cupped and hold tiny stones, the baobab tree that Liane gave me which reminds us of The Little Prince, a book on friendship from Liane (in case you can't tell,Liane is my very best friend in the world!), a flat stone that Lillianna painted purple for me and so on.

Over the past few months,the objects have disappeared under clutter. Today,they reappeared!!! My room is still a bit dusty but it's so much less cluttered and I can enjoy it again! Sometimes,I just have to realize I'm worth the effort!!

What's cookin'?.......

......Rainbow chip cookies....that's what!

Today I am picking up Carly and Sarah from school since the girls have an extra Girl Scout meeting this week. Usually I'm at work until 4:30pm but I took the day off to go to school and view the puberty movie with 9 other moms. The 4th and 5th grade girls will be seeing it next week.

Since I knew I would be home all day I called Carly and Sarah's mom last week and asked if I could pick the girls up and then take them to their meeting. Usually Lillianna goes home on the bus with the girls and then Carly's mom drives them to the meeting. I pick up Lil and Carly after the meeting and Sarah is always off to soccer.

We only have about one hour at home after school before we have to leave but I wanted to have a yummy snack ready for them. They all love these cookies. I'm sure they'll be surprised.

Friday night dinner

Lillianna and I went to Hebrew school last night and as always,we loved it. The temple has Shabbat services every Saturday morning and the first Friday of every month. This Friday there is a dinner after the services. I told Lillianna that I thought we should go Friday night and also on Saturday morning. She said okay although she wasn't thrilled because she is just learning to read Hebrew and she can't follow along in the prayer book.

I asked Seth,the cantor,if I could take home a prayer book to translate the prayers for Lillianna. He said to take it for as long as I needed it.
Seth had made a cd for Lillianna's friend Lauren and I made a copy of it. It has the whole service on it so that I could learn the tunes that they use. My temple used some different tunes so even though I know the words,the tune is unfamiliar to me.

Tonight,with the cd playing in the background,I wrote the transliteration for the prayers. For example our most important prayer is called The Sh'mah and I wrote it like this:

Sh'mah yisrael
Adonai elohaynoo
Adonai echad

That way,Lillianna can still sing along with us in Hebrew. It took me over an hour to type it all up and I still have 3 more to do before Friday but I think she's going to like services more now that she can participate.

I am so glad we are joining this temple in September. The people are just wonderful.

Say Cheese!

Yesterday my furry nephew,Cody,turned 2. Today Kara threw him a little birthday party with her 2 step daughters,Lena and Bella and me and Lillianna. I guess not everyone throws a party for their chocolate lab but Cody is Kara's one true love (sorry Peter) and damn it,he was getting a party.

Last night Lena slept over here and I had the girls make chocolate covered strawberry marshmallows and chocolate dog bones and paw prints. I had the dog bone mold from Lillianna's Scooby Doo birthday and the paw prints from her Blue's Clues birthday several years ago. We put together a little chocolate platter to bring to Cody's party in honor of his special day.

When it came time for cake,Kara commanded Cody to sit in the dining room chair so that he was close to his birthday cake on the table. Cody is no lap dog although he will sit in your lap when you tell him too. He is an 80 pound bear!

So there we were all gathered around the big dining room table and Kara had me and the 3 girls stand around Cody so that she could get a picture...well several pictures. He was really a good sport about all this. I asked Kara if she wanted me to take a picture of her with her "baby" and she did.

What made me think I was smart enough to use a digital camera? Kara and the kids were hugging Cody and smiling at me as I attempted to push a button.
"Hold it down!" Kara instructed. I did. The screen went blank. Kara gave me a pitiful look and asked,"You shut it off,didn't you?" I said I did.

Then she told me to put it back on and hold the other button down. Oh...well why didn't she say that in the first place? I got them all in focus again and pushed the other button. Nothing happened. Kara yelled,"Hold it down!" I did. Something flashed. I pushed again. Flash flash. By that time Kara was just shaking her head at me and I burst into a fit of laughter. Then we were all laughing. In the end I think Lillianna took the picture.

The kids left the dining room and Kara decided she hadn't taken enough pictures of the chocolates. She put 2 big milk chocolate dog bones on the white frosted cake and took a picture. As they were lying there I said,"They kind of look like penises." She laughed and said,"You're right....they do!" When she removed them,the chocolate penises were covered in white frosting. I'll spare you Kara's comment about that.

So all in all,Cody had a very happy birthday and the day was filled with sugar and fun!

My body is smarter than I am

No matter what I do,I can't fool my body. If I over carb,my blood sugar goes up whether I think it will or not. I guess I keep hoping my body will give me the benefit of the doubt and keep my blood sugar in a good range. How did I think that would happen?

Yesterday I toasted a whole grain bagel,slapped some 1/3 less fat cream cheese on it,grabbed my cup of coffee and ran out the door to bring Lillianna to school before eating my breakfast on the 30 minute drive to work. Two hours after eating, my blood sugar was 155. Of course it was. I over carbed and I knew it. Who was I really trying to fool?

After talking to a newly diagnosed diabetic yesterday I realized that I was once newly diagnosed too. My focus was to get myself into a healthy range and I did. That time passed and I got lazy. I gained some weight back and went into denial about food. If I want it I eat it and hope my sugar will be okay.I'm not only lazy but really stupid.

There was a guy on the radio yesterday talking about life changes. He said not to cut out all things that are yummy but just to cut down a bit and the weight would come off slowly. That would be something I could stick to.

This morning,I toasted half of the whole grain bagel and put peanut butter and sugar free jam on it. Two hours after eating,my sugar was 105...50 points lower than yesterday at the same time. Just by cutting down the carbs I could see a change. Honestly,after the half of bagel I was stuffed. I don't know how I ate the whole bagel yesterday. Well,that's not true....I know I eat without any thought. That's part of my problem.

I can't pledge that I'm going to make smart decisions every day but I'm sure going to try to make smarter decisions than I have in the past year.

Why am I so tired?

The past two or three weeks have been hell for me. I'm totally exhausted every day. It doesn't matter how much sleep I get because I still wake up tired.
Usually after I get home from work and pick Lillianna up at school,I fall asleep on the couch for 2 hours before I make dinner. It's not that I'm just a little sleepy. I can't stay awake. I close my eyes for a second and two hours go by.

Today I had to shower and go food shopping but I kept falling asleep for 10 minutes or so and just when I thought I'd head into the shower,I'd have to nap again. I didn't shower until 4pm!

I googled the side effects of my blood pressure med that was increased from 10mg to 20mg several weeks ago and fatigue is one of them. I think I'll call my doctor on Monday. She had me take a blood test to check what kind of anemia I have but I never heard back from her. I think between the anemia and bp med increase I'm always one second away from napping. Not a good thing at all.

A special kind of hell

I was just watching the news and once again they were talking about the abuse case of a local 7 year old boy. His mother's boyfriend burned his genitals with a cigarette,beat him with a belt and urinated on his head. According to the story,the boy told his mother who instructed him to keep this quiet.

Fortunately this boy reported the abuse to the school nurse and DSS was brought it. The mother and boyfriend are in custody.

My parents never hit me and Lillianna has never been hit. Who would hit their child?
I don't understand this at all and I probably never will.

I hug and kiss Lillianna a million times a day and she is always in my lap wanting to be snuggled. Today she had some aches and pains so I gave her some children's tylenol and I heated up my heating pad for her. She thanked me for taking care of her. I can't imagine not taking care of my child.

I hope there is a special kind of hell for child abusers.....I really do!

Profiling

I was listening to talk radio this morning on the way to work and the topic was profiling at the airport. I never want to offend anyone but I'm tired of everyone trying to be politically correct. When it comes to airport safety I think profiling is a no-brainer.

I know that many groups feel that they are being harassed and singled out but here's the reality.....if a group of white Jewish moms in their mid 40s threaten the safety of the USA or the world then I would expect that security would pull me out of line and question me before letting me board my plane. I fit the profile.

Apparently there is some law suit going on in Israel about profiling and I think it's ridiculous. I've flown El-Al several times and the reason they haven't had their planes blown up is because of their meticulous security. There are a lot of people out to destroy Israel and the Israeli people and for the most part they belong to a certain group. I hope Israel continues to profile their airline passengers. It's been working so far!

A nice smooth shave?

Kara just got back from visiting Mom in Florida. They had a lot of fun even though Kara ran Mom ragged with all the activities that they did. I told Mom it serves her right for having such a young daughter! She has to learn to keep up.

I'm the low key type. Lillianna and I have been to visit Mom only twice in 10 years but our vacations don't include late nights. I think Lillianna could've stayed out late but I like to be in bed nice and early and then get up around 5am and have coffee on the balcony and watch the sun come up. Kara is just getting home when the sun comes up.

One day during Kara's visit,Mom came out of the shower and told Kara that she used her razor to shave her legs because hers was so dull it wouldn't even work. Kara said okay and didn't think much about it. Later that day at the beach,Mom looked at her legs and said,"Wow! I missed a lot when I shaved." Kara looked at Mom's legs and asked,"Did you take the white plastic covering off the razor before you used it?"
Mom asked,"What cover?"

After the two of them calmed down from their fit of hysterical laughter,Mom realized she shaved with the plastic cover on. She probably should've just braided the hair on her legs! When they got home,Kara checked to see if Mom's dull razor had a plastic cover on it too. Nope....but the blade was upside down. That's why it didn't work.

Once again I asked Mom,"If you ever have any memory problems how the hell am I going to know?????" That just made Mom laugh. I can only shake my head.

Thank goodness she'll be home in just a few weeks. I love the six months when she lives in Massachusetts. That woman just cracks me up! I'll have to check her legs out when she gets here!

Passionate about what?

I met a patient today who was quite interesting and very passionate about her new career choice. She is going to culinary school. When she spoke about this her whole face just glowed.

Oh sure,I get like that when I think about eating food but preparing it? I hate to cook. I thought I did well making turkey bacon and chocolate chip pancakes for dinner tonight. It's quite a combo but Lillianna loves it!

On the way home I started to think about a job that I have a passion for. Out of all the jobs I've had, not one of them made me feel like I had found my true calling.

I entered college majoring in journalism and then I couldn't get one single journalism class my freshman year. I started taking classes in Hotel,Restaurant,Travel administration and I found them to be fascinating. After 3 semesters of this,my adviser said I couldn't change my major to HRTA and he advised me to transfer to another college. So much for getting good grades and passing everything he wanted me to. It didn't help.

I took a travel course and worked in charter travel for 3 years before living in Israel for 2 years. When I came home from Israel my father died and I fell into a job with an optometrist. After 3 years of that I started working for the company that I have now been at for 17 years and here I am!

I like this job because I make good money and I can work around Lillianna's school schedule. Basically,it's convenient. Do I love it? Heck no. I hate people and I hate whining people most of all. Did I mention how much I hate kids as patients? I just have to block it out and realize this lovely skill of mine pays the bills.

So where's my passion? Twenty minutes into my drive home it hit me. The one thing that I am absolutely passionate about is being a mother. I love it. It makes me so happy. I am completely in tune with Lillianna and I enjoy everything I do with her. Okay,I hate cooking but the kid is still alive after 10 years so I haven't starved her to death.

At first I was sad that I wasn't passionate about my job but when I looked at the right job,I realized I was very passionate about it. I found my true calling after all!

I nagged for no reason!

This past Saturday I picked up our completed tax forms at the tax office. In the past,Rich was the one to go and get the taxes done since I used to work 13 hours every Saturday up until last May. This year I just dropped them off and they called 2days later to say I could pick them up. I love things that are mindless.

Each day since then I have left the tax packet on the dining room table asking Rich to please sign the forms so I could mail them in. We're getting a refund and I want the money in a timely fashion. I've got stuff to pay with that money.

Since our jobs are so opposite,we're like 2 ships that pass in the night. We only see each other for a short time in the morning and then most nights he gets home when I'm asleep. Since I can budget my time fairly well I always leave room to nag at him. I feel it's my duty as a loving wife.

So again,this morning,I gently reminded him to sign the damn tax papers. I might have threatened his life but I can't confirm that. I have PMS.....I could've said anything!

When I got home from work I checked my mail. There was something from the IRS in there. All I could think was,"CRAP! Did they find a mistake on my taxes?" Then I remembered they're still on the freakin' table unsigned!! Nervously I opened the envelope and voila! My state refund.

I called the tax office and asked if they filed it electronically. She said she did. Then she laughed hysterically at how I nagged my poor husband for a week when there was no reason to nag him at all!

I probably should apologize......ya....I doubt that's gonna happen!

Hebrew School

Hebrew school was an interesting thing in my family when I was a child. My mother's brother had 2 sons and a daughter and my father's brother had 2 sons and a daughter. The boys were automatically sent to Hebrew School but the girls were not.

Papa,Mom's dad, belonged to an Orthodox temple although Nana,Mom and Uncle Louis were not really religious. When I was around 5 years old, Papa asked me if I wanted to go to Sunday school with my cousins Evan who was 9 and Jeff who was 6. I jumped at the chance.

Although the boys were kind of bored,I loved it! I learned songs in Hebrew and I was hooked. When we moved to a new town,Papa asked me if I wanted to go to Hebrew school in my town and not be with my cousins anymore. I didn't care who I was with I just wanted to learn Hebrew. Mom said I didn't have to go if I didn't want to. I didn't know why anyone would not want to go.

I thought Hebrew was a magical language and I loved learning it. The big finale was my Bat Mitzvah in 1976. Ya,I'm that old. You can read about that here.

So here we are in 2008 and I haven't joined a temple or sent Lillianna to Hebrew school yet. By chance,I started talking to her friend's mom at a birthday party a few weeks ago and she asked me if we belonged to a temple. I told her that they're so expensive and I didn't think I could afford it.

She told me about her temple which is 30 minutes from where we live but it sounded affordable. She said the people were really welcoming.
Long story short,(as if that's possible!!)Lillianna and I went with Nancy and her daughter Lauren to Hebrew School last Monday and last night and it's great!!

The moms stay for the class and help their child. It's a requirement of the class and I totally dig that,I tell ya. Lillianna went from not knowing one single thing last week to reciting her numbers 1-10 flawlessly last night. I was so proud. I taught her well. I had to recite them too which I thought was funny but very cool.

We will be attending a service on Friday night which will be fun. I love Shabbat services. I want Lillianna to know what it is to be Jewish.

The crazy part is that Mom is not supportive. She said we can't afford to join and she isn't happy with my decision. My sister Kara is 100% supportive and said that she regrets not going to Hebrew School. I used to take her to services with me all the time and I tried to teach her about all the holidays but she didn't push to go the way that I had and Mom didn't think it was necessary for Kara to go. I recently got an email from my cousin Marcia and she said she also regrets not going to Hebrew School. I know I've made the right decision.

Even though it is very disappointing to me that Mom isn't thrilled about my decision,I told Lillianna that when you know you're making the right choice,even though some people may not approve,you just gotta stick with it.

It feels great to be back in the temple again! It really does!

I've really gotta get back on track

After I came home from the hospital 2 1/2 years ago I was terrified of food. Eating the wrong food and having a lifestyle that didn't include exercise,combined with a lot of stress is what sent me down the road to almost dying from pancreatitis.

At first,every food terrified me. I had to keep the fat,carbs and sugars very low or I'd be back on death row. After losing 50 pounds and occasionally "cheating" I realized I was still alive even if I ate a "bad" food. So I got brave and kind of strayed over the past 1 1/2 years.

Two weeks ago when I went to meet my new pcp, Dr.F,she had me take a urine test which tested my kidney function. I got a phone call at the beginning of the week saying the results were abnormal and I had to be seen within 2 weeks. I saw her this past Friday.

She told me that I have protein in my urine which is caused by my high blood sugar. I also have anemia. She increased my bp med from 10mg to 20mg and said I have to exercise 30 mins a day to bring my numbers back to normal.

Today I am going to buy a new pair of sneakers and start my walking this afternoon. Thinking I'm invincible nearly killed me once. I got a second chance. I need to be more grateful for that and take it seriously this time.

Eye people are not so observant

I have worked as an ophthalmic technician for 17 years. I like to think that I am pretty observant. My friend Gaye always appreciates when I tell her she has lipstick on her teeth. She says I am the only one who ever tells her. I like to think we are all looking out for one another.

Today I wore my beautiful new necklace and matching earrings that my best friend Liane made me for my birthday. I wore it yesterday and wanted to wear it again today.
Many people commented on how lovely this jewelry was. I glowed.

I worked until 12pm and then drove to Lillianna's school to see her President's Day play that her class was putting on for the parents at 1:00pm. I signed into the visitors book in the office and headed down to "the pit" where the play would be held. I greeted several people and then sat next to Jamie who immediately asked,"Why are you wearing two different earrings?"

I was confused. I knew I had put in my purple sea glass earrings. I touched my right ear...yup....purple sea glass. I touched my left ear and laughed! I had put in my extremely long silver earrings with long blue stones that Liane bought me in India.
They were two very different earrings. I was stunned.

In a large practice of eye people not one of them said a damn thing to me. Maybe we all need a good eye exam.

The blizzard of '78.....30 years ago today

The blizzard of '78 is the most famous blizzard in Massachusetts in my life time.
It started on February 5th and went straight through my birthday......my 15th birthday!

No one was allowed to drive unless it was someone from the police or fire dept and members of the clergy. I think that was it. No other vehicles were allowed on the roads. Kara was 4 years old at the time and we have a picture of her standing in front of a snow drift that was probably 10 feet high or more.

Since Dad worked in a bakery he always brought home my birthday cake every year. In 1978 he was confined to the house so no birthday cake from the bakery. Mom kept apologizing to me for not having any presents for me because she thought she had a few days before my birthday. When the blizzard hit us harder than we expected,we couldn't go anywhere except whatever was in walking distance.

I didn't care about the presents since I knew I'd get them eventually but I did care about my birthday cake. What's a birthday without cake? I hate to say that at 15 I had never baked a darn thing in my life but I told Mom that I was going to bake my own cake.

My neighbor Esther and her daughter Andrea were planning to walk up to the center of town for some groceries so I said I'd go with them to get my cake mix and frosting.....and candles! This walk which generally took 10 minutes on a regular day took one hour each way with us pulling a sled through the snow to carry our groceries.

The gusty wind which blew the snow in our faces really slowed us down but we perservered.We had layers of snow on our eyelashes - the only things peeking out of our face which was covered with a huge scarf. You have no idea how determined I was to bake this damn cake! It was my birthday and even though everything in this state was shut down and canceled,my birthday would go on!

I baked my very first layer cake on February 9th 1978 and it was pretty darn tootin' yummy if I do say so myself. For some reason I made a chocolate cake with chocolate frosting and I don't really like chocolate cake. I suppose just having the cake,any cake,was enough to make me happy.

So in addition to celebrating my birthday each year I also celebrate the first time I ever baked a layer cake. Today is the 30 year anniversary!

Happy Birthday to me!

Today is my 45th birthday. I remember when I thought 30 was old!! I'm more than middle aged since I doubt I'll live to be 90. I don't believe diabetics have that long of a life expectancy.

This morning we went out to a 50's restaurant down the street for breakfast. I splurged and had marinated steak tips,scrambled eggs and a big chunk of their toasted banana nut bread. Probably not the healthiest choice but it was delicious.

My birthday cake is baking in the oven as we speak. I always make my favorite strawberry whipped cream cake. I never want anyone to make me a cake. I like my own best of all. I'm also baking brownies.

This afternoon around 3:00pm Lillianna and I will have manicures before heading to Kara's house. My last manicure was September 18,2006,the day before Kara's wedding! Lillianna had a manicure and pedicure last Saturday for her friend's birthday! Am I doing something wrong here? My daughter's nails are better taken care of than mine.

Peter,my brother in law, is making me a special dinner tonight.....chicken piccata! Yum!
Rich will meet us there after work but I'll have to order a pizza for him. He would never eat this chicken....too flavorful.

I'm trying to focus on all the things that I do have in my life as opposed to where I thought I'd be at 45 and how I feel like I've failed but it isn't easy. Kara tried to put a positive spin on everything but it didn't work. I keep crying and I wish that would stop already.

I don't mind being 45 I just wish some things were different.

Oh well.....maybe next year.

What a waste of a stamp!

The New England Patriots lost the Super Bowl last Sunday and it was out of my thoughts the minute the game was over. Bummer that they lost but it didn't change my life one way or the other. I don't hate the New York Giants....I don't even know them. I do like the Pats but honestly,do you think I can name 3 players on the team from memory? Nope but I still like them when they're on t.v. I really do.

Rich is a huge Pats fan but he feels the same way I do....too bad they lost but the loss is not life altering for us. Rich is not a loud fan. He's not in anyone's face threating to kick their ass. He's a quiet fan. Oh sure he yells at the t.v. at home but he's not rude and abusive to fans of the opposing team if she should encounter them in his daily life.

He would never go up to a stranger with an opponent's team name on his cap and say,"You suck!!!" He doesn't know if they suck. Maybe they do. Maybe they don't but he can't make that assessment based on their hat choices.

So,imagine my surprise when an envelope arrived from Rich's old job. We're expecting a 401K check any day now from last year. The handwriting was familiar(it was the guy who does payroll) so I was excited to open it up. There was a picture of a NY Giants player enclosed with a typed note that said NEW YORK GIANTS ARE THE SUPER BOWL CHAMPS.

Uhm....ya...we know....we saw the game 4 days ago. We've already moved on.
The only thing I hate more than a sore loser is a nasty winner.
I can't believe he wasted a stamp on that.
I think he sucks....I really do and that's based on my actually knowing him!

I knew she was sick!

I took Lillianna to her pediatrician yesterday because I knew she was sick.
The nurse did a strep test and then Dr.F came in,took one look down Lil's throat and turned to me,"Did you see this?" she asked as she looked at me with a stunned expression.

I told her I hadn't looked. She waved me over and flashed the light down Lillianna's throat. It was the brightest red I had ever seen. Yikes! Dr.F said she'd be right back because she wanted the results of the 5 minute strep test.

She came back in a few seconds later nodding her head and said,"Oh ya.....it's strep!" Lillianna is on Keflex for 10 days and she can return to school tomorrow.
She is resting today and then at 3:00pm we have to head out for a girl scout trip to get her cooking badge. Dr.F said she'd be fine to do that today.

Whenever Lillianna is very busy like 2 back to back sleep overs,she gets run down and then within 2 days she is sick with something. I'll just have to make sure that she still gets enough sleep even when she is a social butterfly.

I'm still somebody's little girl

Mom sent me a birthday card yesterday and it made me cry. It was really sweet and mushy. After I cried my heart out and dripped tears all over the place I thought that even at 45,I'm still really happy to be someone's little girl.
It was just a nice feeling.

My new doctor

I had my appointment with Dr.F today. She was actually very nice.
She spent almost an hour with me asking all kinds of questions: Have I had a recent eye exam? Do I go to the dentist regularly? Do I check my feet every day? Have I had a recent pneumonia or flu shot? When was my last mammogram?

The list was endless.She was very thorough.When she realized I hadn't had an EKG for 2 years she sent the nurse in to do that immediately. When that was done she had me come into her office and she explained all my lab results to me from December. I had gotten a call back then and I was told everything was stable....no details. Dr.F gave me all the details. My blood sugar has to come down from 6.8 to 5.8. My bad cholesterol is fine but my good cholesterol which protects my heart is too low and I have to get that number up with exercise.

In the end,I really liked her. That sure is good news for me.

I should've listened to my instincts!

Lillianna had back to back sleep overs this weekend and she got very little sleep. Big shock! By the time she returned home on Sunday,she looked exhausted and had pink circles under her lids. The pink circles always tell me that she needs to rest. I didn't have to ask her twice to take a nap with me that afternoon. We both slept for 2 hours.

I knew she didn't have school today,Tuesday,due to a teacher's professional day so I figured she'd rest today too and bounce back from her weekend exhaustion. Last night her friend Sarah's mom,Lisa,called and asked if Lillianna could spend the day at their house today. I said she could stay for a little while but then I wanted her home to rest. Last night Lillianna complained of a sore throat so I definitely didn't want her out all day.

In the end,Lillianna was there from 8:30am-4:30pm. She swore she felt fine all day and she was having fun so I figured I'd stop being so overprotective and just let her be a kid. When I picked her up she looked half dead. When we got in the car she said she wanted to go to bed. Why did I let her talk me into letting her be out all day?????

She got into the shower as soon as we got home,had 2 bowls of soup and went into bed at 7:00pm. She is watching t.v. all wrapped up in blankets. I'm sure she'll be asleep soon. I have a bad feeling that we'll be home sick tomorrow and I'm supposed to work 8 hours. The week of school vacation in 2 weeks will require that I use 25 hours of PTO if I can't figure out a way to work a couple of days. If I have to call in sick tomorrow I'll just have to deal with it.

I made a mistake. I listenend to Lillianna instead of my own good instincts.Now we'll see what happens.

I don't like Sylvia Browne

It's not that I don't believe in psychic ability because I do. I just hate Sylvia Browne. I think she's a bit of a self-centered bitch. Yup.....I sure do.

Montel has her on once a week or so and I hate the way she speaks to people. Most times she is so vague I just don't believe a damn thing she says.

Audience question:"Do I have any spirit guides around me?"
Sylvia:"Yes you do...you have 3 angels and a spirit guide named Benjamin."

Then she turns her head and moves on to the next question. She looks bored and uninterested with the people that are yearning for answers. I get that it's a 60 minute talk show but at least look kind and loving.


Audience question:"My husband went missing 2 years ago and we don't know what happened."
Sylvia: (I swear she gives this same damn answer to everyone!!!) "He's in the woods in a shallow part of water. Look there."

She bugs the hell out of me. Without any skill at all anyone on this planet could give the answers that she does.

Audience question:"I have cancer. How will this turn out?"
Sylvia:"Everything will be fine."

Audience question:"I'm having trouble getting pregnant."
Sylvia:"You'll be pregnant by April."

How in the world is this woman so famous? I've had readings before and the good ones always give specific details.

Lillianna had a spirit drawing when she was 3 and Rita,who did the drawing was right on. You can see an article about Rita here and if you scroll down a few letters you'll see mine in there. I used to be able to google the picture she drew of Rich's mom but now I can't find it.

Anyway....Sylvia Browne sucks!

Lillianna's sleep over

Lillianna wrote this post last month and forgot to have me approve it until tonight!
Better late than never.

Changing my mind about changing doctors

My primary care physician,Dr.B,left the practice where I've been seeing him and he moved 15 minutes away. Since his old practice is 10 minutes closer to me and more convenient,I decided not to follow him and to choose a new pcp. I liked him but sometimes he intimidated me so I was okay with changing.

I was down to my last 2 cholesterol pills the other day and called in to CVS to refill it. It needed authorization because it said I could refill it 5 times before January 22,2008. I was a couple of days too late.

Knowing that Dr.B was gone and I was without a pcp,I called the practice to find a new one. They set me up with Dr.F who I was told was very nice and she would be coming to my regular office. I thought that sounded great and the secretary said she'd get Dr.F to sign off on my refill. I told her I'd set up an appointment in April to meet with her since I need blood work every 3 months and I just had a complete physical on December 28,2007. She said that was fine.

Today I went to CVS and picked up my prescription. I thought that was very nice that things went so smoothly.....then I got home. There was a message on my voice mail from Dr.F's secretary. She said that Dr.F really didn't want to fill my cholesterol med because according to my most recent labs,I should not be on a cholesterol med!

I was livid!!! I almost died 2 years ago on our trip to Disney World. My triglycerides were 3,000. The normal number is 200. All the doctors in Florida told me I have to be on a cholesterol medication for the rest of my life. Dr. B confirmed that when I came home and saw him. I accepted it. I'm alive. Taking this pill will keep me that way.

So now, Dr.F has decided I shouldn't be taking it? Did she even read my chart or just look at my labs? Is that really good care? I haven't even met her yet but I don't have much confidence in her judgment at that moment.

She wants to see me in the next few weeks to discuss this. I just had a physical!!! Read my freakin' chart!!! It's all in there.

I'm just pissed. I feel like she made a shoddy assessment without having all the facts.

What would you do?

My very funny nephew

Everyone went to Kara's house tonight for Peter's birthday.(He's my very favorite brother in law.) Lisa,TC,Trent and Dash were also there which meant good bonding time with my little baby Dash who is 5 1/2 months old if I'm not mistaken.

Anyway,we were all sitting around the table eating ice cream cake for dessert...well,I was feeding Dash his cereal and applesauce for my dessert. I had just been saying that when I had changed Dash's diaper a few moments before,I was really worried that he would pee on me.

My cutie pie 4 year old nephew Trent who was sitting right next to me turned towards me. With his mouth covered in ice cream he said,"Well,you know,when I was a baby my mother put a sock on my johnson so that I wouldn't pee." Then he turned around and continued eating. The adults waited one second and then burst out in hysterics.

I don't know what was funnier...... Lisa putting a sock on Trent's private parts or hearing Trent say johnson or just the whole situation.
All I could say to Lisa was,"Do you want to blog about this or should I?" She told me I could do it.

Kids are so funny. If you don't have a child in your life,go borrow someone elses. They're a continuous source of laughter.

Telephone telepathy

Wednesday evening at 4:45pm I was home talking to Rich and Lillianna. Suddenly,I walked away from them, sat by the phone and called my mom's cell phone. She has been visiting from Florida since the 1oth.

Mom picked up the phone and asked,"Why did you just call me?"
The truth was I really didn't know. I just turned away from my family and headed toward the phone and called. So I said,"I don't know. Why?"

Mom said,"I didn't know if you were home or on the road so I tried looking up your cell phone number. I couldn't find it. I pressed a button on my phone and the screen went crazy so I put it down on the seat and said,'Robin....call your mother!' Then the phone rang and I said,'Make this be Robin,' and it was!"

I said,"Well I guess I got your message!"
This happens every now and then with us and with my sister Kara too. I love when I walk over to the phone to call Kara and the phone rings and it's her.

I think people have a very strong heart connection to one another and they don't even realize just how strong that connection is. We kind of take it for granted but it's really quite a miracle.

Today my best friend Liane called to say that she created a new piece of jewelry and she wanted to me to help her name it. When I heard her message the word dream immediately came into my mind. I called her back and she said she had kind of named it already but she wanted my input. The name she came up with had the word dream in it. I told her I had already heard dream when I listened to her message so we both knew her name for the piece was the correct one! Usually her names include words like peace,breeze,mist,sea...things like that. It was interesting that we both came up with dream. That's why we're best friends!

We've all shared something like this with another person. I'd love to hear your story of telepathy!

No work? No school? No way!!!

It's true.......believe it or not my office will not be open tomorrow and the schools will be closed in our town. First of all,in the 17 years that I have been at this job they only closed ONCE ahead of time due to a blizzard warning. Unfortunately,the day of the blizzard we only got about an inch. My company vowed to never do that again so when I got the call from my manager's wife this evening,I was stunned. But hey....no work for me. We have to use our PTO hours to make up for it but that's okay since I have plenty.

At 8:50pm I received an automated message from Lillianna's school saying that it would be closed tomorrow. She was thrilled. The news says that after midnight we should get a few inches of snow and then by morning we should be getting one inch every hour.

I've lived in Massachusetts my whole life so my attitude is maybe it'll snow....maybe it won't.
I guess we'll know soon enough. As for me and Lillianna......tomorrow is pajama day!!! Yahoo!!

A very sore throat

Lillianna is home sick today. The school nurse called me yesterday at work at 9:20am.......35 minutes after I arrived. She said Lillianna didn't feel well and she looked pale. I went to pick her up thinking she was probably run down and tired from her vacation. I tried to pace her with all her activities but she was quite busy.

She got home and immediately changed into her jammies. After lunch she fell asleep for 2 hours. I figured by morning she'd be fit as a fiddle and ready for school. At 3:30am she woke up with a raging sore throat and couldn't swallow. She sat up watching t.v. and sucking on a lozenge. When she was done,she went back to sleep. I knew she wouldn't be going to school today.

She complained that her ears were crinkling and that was my signal to call her doctor and make an appointment. I grew up with crinkling ears which meant and ear ache was fast approaching. Lillianna has walked in my footsteps.....stupid footsteps! Ear aches suck!!

She went to see Dr. Fernandez who we both adore. She is the best doctor ever! She said Lillianna's throat was very red but that her ears looked ok. I told her that Lillianna feels the ear pain 2 days before a doctor can see the redness. I learned that from Lillianna's previous doctor. I always ended up taking her for an appointment and then returning 2 days later and sure enough that 2 days showed the redness. Dr.Fernandez said she wouldn't wait 2 days to prove that and immediately wrote a prescription for an antibiotic. I totally love a doctor who respects the mother's input. She's known us for about 5 years so she knows I'm not just trying to medicate my child for no reason.

Lillianna is now resting on the couch and she's about to fall asleep. A drowsy 10 year old is a sick one,that's for sure.

The good news is that I called the payroll manager at my work just to check if I had a few sick hours available to cover my 3 days off which is about 15 hours. My manager had told me that since I went part time in June I wouldn't have any benefits until one year from June which isn't for another 5 months. When the payroll manager checked she said I had 48 hours of paid time off. I was stunned!!!! I thanked her and felt a huge burden lift from my shoulders. I panicked for a second when she called back and said she had made a mistake. I held my breath until she said,"You actually have 80 hours of paid time off. I miscalculated and didn't figure in that you've been here 17 years." I think I literally jumped for joy!

So now I can relax and take care of my sick little girl and not worry that my pay check will be 15 hours short. It's such a relief.

Lillianna and I will be resting for the next 3 days. That's not so bad after all.