Friday, April 11, 2008

Wanna look thinner? this shirt!

I was looking in Wal-Mart for a couple of somewhat dressy tops to wear to the temple on Saturday morning services. Everything in the plus size section was for old ladies and women who wanted to look pregnant. I am not in either category.

I passed by a display of striped shirts. The tag on the shirts read,"This will make you look instantly thinner." I took a good look at the shirt and I figured out their thin secret. The stripes are so swirly,just looking at them made me dizzy and I had to look away. I started to squint to make the pain in my head go away. The shirts were blinding. Of course I'd look thinner in it. Who could look at me? It's like looking at the sun! I had to shield my eyes.

If someone tried to look at me it would be impossible for them to keep their eyes open. I'd be Twiggy in the swirly striped shirt! What a great sneaky technique. Blind them with stripes!! Maybe I'll just paint over my old shirts and attach neon letters. I'll be so thin then!

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