Monday, May 22, 2006

Being rude!

Last year or the year before,I entered a Rude Contest. I had to submit a story about the rudest thing that had ever happened to me. Sadly, I had more than one. I received an email from the head of this contest saying that she doesn't usually respond to the contestants personally but she loved the stories that I submitted and she wished me luck in the contest. I didn't win. I didn't even think the top winners had funny stories. Oh well. That's life.

I was just going through my folders and found my submission so I figured I would share them here. Why let the rudeness go to waste??

1)When I was 25 I worked for an optical shop. A man in his late sixties came in to pick up his eyeglasses. As I gave the glasses a final adjustment the man glared at my name tag.

"Robin," he said slowly as he glared at me. "So, do you go bob bob bobbin' along?"

I tried to ignore him as I put his glasses in the leather case. Not taking my silence as any kind of hint he continued, "So, Robin, do you have a red breast?" I put his glasses on the counter and walked in the back room.

2)Back in the early 90's, ribbed pants with matching tops were all the fashion rage. I was coaching my sister's high school cheerleading squad at the time and as a gift the girls gave me a matching ribbed outfit. I loved it and everyone said how great I looked in it. One day I wore it to work at the ophthalmology practice where I worked as a technician. I had just finished an eye exam for a gentleman in his 70s when he asked, "So, when are you due?"

Confused by his question I asked, "Due for what?"

He pointed to my stomach."When are you due?"

Finally understanding his question, I was horrified. "I'm not pregnant!" I replied angrily.

"Yes, you are," he said in a matter-of-fact tone.

Knowing 100% that I was not pregnant, I said,"I am definitely not pregnant!" Not giving up and becoming angry, he said,"I am never wrong about these things and you ARE pregnant! Just look at your clothes!"

I looked him straight in the eye and gasped, "My clothes? This is the latest fashion!"

"Hmmmph," he snorted. "Latest fashion? You don't know anything about fashion! That is an ugly outfit and you should never wear it again!" And with that last remark he stomped off.

3)While working in an ophthalmology practice, I called a patient into the exam room to see her doctor. A grumpy woman in her late 70s muttered under her breath as I pointed her towards the exam chair. Before I left the room she barked at me, "Well, what is your name?" she asked as she pointed a wagging finger at me.

I smiled as politely as I could and replied, "Robin."

She began to sputter. "Robin? Robin? What kind of name is Robin? What was your mother reading ,a dime store novel when she named you?"

4)A patient in his 50s came in for a quick follow up visit with the ophthalmologist that I work for. All I had to do was check his vision and find out if his chronic eye problem was improving. As soon as I called his name in the waiting room, I could tell he was going to be a challenge. Every question was answered with a sarcastic tone.

"How is your eye feeling?" I asked.

"You tell me," he grumbled.

"Do you feel like your vision has gotten any better?"

"You tell me," he repeated.

I gave him the occluder to hold on his nose which blocks one eye at a time so that the vision can be checked. He stuck the handle on the top of his head and rolled his eyes at me. After a difficult time checking his vision, I asked him if he had any health changes since his last visit. He said he had been diagnosed with rectal-itis. I had never heard of this before so I asked when he was diagnosed. He said at the last visit with his eye doctor.I really began to doubt him but I finally gave in and asked,
"What is that?" He smirked at me and said, "It's a disease that starts in your eye and it gives you a crappy attitude towards life!"

What's the rudest comment you've encountered?

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