Does it taste like chicken?

I read the following story in News of the Weird.

Mark Nuckols, a business student at Dartmouth, has begun selling a tofu-like food, Hufu, that is flavored to resemble what he believes is the taste of human flesh. His target audience is those who already enjoy cooking with tofu, as well as any actual cannibals who might settle for artificiality in order to avoid legal problems and logistical hassles. Nuckols said he has never tasted human flesh but based his recipe on cannibals' reported descriptions of the flavor. [Stanford Daily, 5-25-05]

Come on! Seriously,folks. Who the hell would buy this stuff? I want names!!
Is it you?????

Just a dream

The other night I had a dream about Lillianna. In my eyes,it was a nightmare. I wasn't Lillianna's mother. I was her babysitter.
She lived in a huge house with a selfish,hip and happening mother named,Linda.
Lillianna was still the precious,funny and loving child she has always been but her mom was not very nice.

In the dream,Linda called me to come over and watch Lillianna. She said she had to go to work. When I got there, I could see that a huge pool party was in progress and Linda was having a good old time for herself. I was told to keep Lillianna in the house. I hugged Lillianna and kissed her and we went to find something to do. She looked longingly out of the window at the people having fun in the pool.
"Can I go swimming too?" she asked me. I told her no. Her mom said no. In my head I couldn't imagine why Linda wouldn't let Lillianna join in the fun. It killed me that she didn't appreciate this child.

Finally I went outside and asked Linda why Lillianna couldn't swim. "It's too cold!"she insisted. "Keep her inside. I'm busy," and she ran off with her friends to have a cigarette. Lillianna looked at me with her huge sad eyes and I hugged her.
I could feel my heart breaking. I wished she were my chid.
Then I woke up.

I hate that dream.
Lillianna is such a joy to us. She is filled with life,laughter and love.

I let her go swimming on Monday with her friend Maddie even though it wasn't that hot out. She was so grateful. Suzie and I just laughed. As long as we didn't have to go in and the girls were happy,we didn't care if they swam all day.
I agree to lots of things that Lillianna asks to do because life is short. You gotta have fun when you can get it.

Thank goodness it was only a dream and I am really Lillianna's mom. It's the best job I have ever had.

I love you,Pumpkin!!

Have you ever had a dream like that?

Mock vs real

My friend Suzie and her daughter Maddie came over on Monday for a playdate. Suzie brought seafood salad,chicken salad and egg salad for lunch. I had never really given any thought to seafood salad but I figured I would like it so I tried it. It was delicious. When I went to the store to buy some more the next day, I saw a sign that said that it was made with mock crabmeat mixed with mayonnaise,celery and lettuce. Mock crabmeat? Hmmmm. I wonder what the heck that is.

Today,I bought Chicken Of The Sea real crab in a pouch. I had a coupon so what the heck? I mixed it with mayo,celery and lettuce. It was........Fine. It didn't taste as good as the mock crab.

Now why would that be? Do you eat seafood salad? Do you prefer mock or real?

Happy Birthday Harry!

I got an email from my friend MaryJo today. We have worked together for the past three years but she recently decided to leave. Luckily,there is always email!

MaryJo has a quick wit and an incredibly wonderful sense of humor so it is no surprise that her children do too.

Today is her son's 5th birthday. Here is what happened,in her own words.

Harry woke up and said,"Hey I have an idea.Since today is my birthday, I should get everything I want."

I said,"Within Reason."

He responded with,"The reason is it is my birthday!" Who can argue with good logic!!!!

Well, certainly not me. Happy 5th birthday,Harry!

Just trying to read my book in peace

My mom gave me The Passions of Chelsea Kane by Barbara Delinsky yesterday. She had read it and liked it and passed it on to me. I have picked this book up a few times in stores and in the library but never read it. Yesterday I started it and I had a hard time putting it down when I had to go to sleep.

This morning I vowed to spend a little "me time" and read my book. What was I thinking? As soon as I started to read,I realized Rich had 15 minutes to shower,eat breakfast and make lunch so I got out of my chair and made his lunch for him. He left for work at 9am and I sat on the couch to read. A few minutes later,Lillianna asked if I would help her with her blog. That required a few trips to my bedroom to read her post and then publish it. Just when I thought I could take a break,she decided to write another post. (She is not allowed to publish anything until I read it first.) So I got up again to make sure everything was ok.

Finally she was done posting. A few minutes later she came in to the living room because somehow she had rolled off her bed and hurt her arm,hip and leg when she landed on her pair of sneakers. First of all,she sleeps in a double bed. How the heck did she roll off that thing? Second of all, how did her sneakers cause multiple injuries? She's a size 12 for goodness sakes. These aren't sneakers for BigFoot! She said she needed more hugs and kisses,which I gave her,and then she was on her way.

A few minutes later she came in for a snack. I told her to eat anything she wanted. I JUST WANTED TO READ MY BOOK!

I think this is why people stay in the bathroom for so long. It's the only quiet place to read!

Do you have time to read without interruptions?

The rude and nasty driver

I was on my way to work this morning when I encountered a rude and nasty driver. Oh, I am quite sure you are shocked by this since most drivers are polite and courteous,aren't they?

I was at the end of the road,trying to go straight across this road which has traffic moving in both directions and then to take a left and merge into two lane traffic. The tricky part is that just because it's clear on one side,doesn't mean it's clear on the other side. Sometimes,you just have to wait.

Apparently,the impatient lunatic behind me,must've finished her double shot of Dunkin'Donuts coffee and was just not able to sit for the few seconds it took to make sure I wouldn't get killed when I pulled out of the street.
Maybe it was the 95 degree weather,although her windows were up so I am guessing she had air conditioning or maybe it was the fact that she was just a raving bitch, but right before I was going to pull out, she began to frantically honk the horn and gesture rudely.

I couldn't believe it. I wanted to laugh. She looked ridiculous. So, I looked at her in my rear view mirror and threw my hands up over my hand. Kind of like the "raise the roof" dance that Lillianna learned in Hip Hop Class. It may have been goofy but she was being stupid. Did she want me to plunge into the traffic so that I could be killed? Like I always tell Lillianna,"There's no where that I want to be so badly,that I am willing to arrive there,dead!" Wasn't the saying, "Arrive Alive!" a few years back? Ya, well I think that's a good motto to live by!!
Don't you?

Lillianna's Place

Lillianna decided that she wanted to write on her own blog. Apparently, she has a lot to say. Gosh, I wonder where she gets that from? It's just a mystery to me.
You can read her first post over at Lillianna's Place.

It was the best of times. It was the worst of times.

A tale of two......situations.

The worst of times: Today just sucked.The end.

The best of times: Every Sunday,Rich and Lillianna prepare a dinner feast for me which is on the table the minute I walk in the door. Since I am exhausted and near starvation after my long day of work,this is such a wonderful treat for me. Ya gotta love that!

Last week it was chicken parm with ziti for dinner and a yellow cake with frosting for dessert. Today was roasted chicken with potatoes and carrots and hot biscuits!Yum! I also ate the leftover fried shrimp from the other night as an appetizer. Double yum! They made brownie sundaes for dessert.

Thank you,Rich and Lillianna! You're the best.

How does your family make you feel special?

Hooray for me!

I am one of the 7 finalists for Blogging for Books on The Zero Boss.
You can read my entry here.
For me,that is the same as winning first place.
I find it wonderful and fascinating that someone thinks my writing is good enough to be a finalist for anything.
So, because this day didn't start out so great and I needed a pick-me-up, I decided to toot my own horn. Toot! Toot!

The list

Years ago,Rich and I met a college student named Bill, through our friends Kristy and Jerry. He was a drama student and quite interesting in a slightly flamboyant way. One day he started to talk about putting someone on his list.

"What list?" I asked innocently.

"You know. The list," Bill explained.

I gave him my best puzzled but interested look.

"When people piss me off, I put them on the list," he said.

"Ohhhhhh," I said slowly with recognition. "You mean your SH** list!"

"Well, kind of," Bill said,"Except my list is of people I want to set on fire."

Wow! That was rather extreme and apparently Mental Health Services at his college thought so too. I think he had to see a therapist for this.

My point is,if I may be so bold as to have a point to this post, everyone has a list. There are people who do things to us that we don't deserve. They say and/or do things to us because they are mean spirited,jealous,nasty or just downright unhappy with their own life so they try to bring us down too. I hate those people. Unfortunately they are everywhere!

Rich told me that I have to forget the unkind and untrue things that are said but sometimes I can't. On those occasions, I picture a huge bird dropping a steamy pile of poop on the bad person's head! That makes me feel a little bit better.

Do you have a "list?"

Can you really say XYZ to a stranger?

Remember when XYZ meant Examine Your Zipper? (Why it wasn't EYZ,I'll never know. I guess it's like the 3 Rs....Reading,Writing and 'Rithmetic. Uhm,that's like one R,one W and one A if you spell Arithmetic correctly!) Anyway, yesterday I was remembering a situation that happened to me about 10 years ago at work.

I had a 35 year old man in the exam chair and I was updating his medical history. I was sitting at the desk,eye level to his crotch. Hey, that's the way it is,people!
I noticed his zipper was unzipped. Damn! As I wrote down his visual complaints, I silently pleaded with him to zip up! Sadly, when you are trying not to look at something, an oversized wart on someone's nose, a piece of food in someone's teeth or an unzipped zipper,your eyes are automatically drawn to the very spot you are trying to avoid. I told the patient that I had to get some eye drops in another room. I left for a few seconds hoping he would zip up. When I returned,he was in the same state as I had left him. Thank goodness nothing else had popped out.

Finally, as I turned my back to write something down,he stood up,walked to the front of the room facing the wall with his back to me,zipped up and sat down. I was so relieved. I didn't feel comfortable saying anything.

I have told women that their button on their shirt or skirt had come undone many times over the years,but telling a man to XYZ is way out of my comfort zone.

Have you ever been in this situation? What did you do?

How was my day? Thank you for asking.

4:00am- I realized a mosquito bit my ankle and scratched it for a while.
4:15am- Decided to get out of bed and put hydrocortisone cream on my itching bite.
Re-set alarm to go off at 5:30am instead of 5:00am.

5:30am- Got up.Showered.Got dressed. Made Lillianna a peanut butter and fluff sandwich for dance camp.The apartment,although air conditioned,must have been warm. I got peanut butter on my arm. I wiped it off. I got a blob of fluff on my hand. I washed it. I noticed a glob of peanut butter on my pants.*Deep sigh*
I made 2 sandwiches for Rich:one bologna and cheese,one ham and cheese, since he works til 8:30pm on Wednesdays. Packed up both lunches and left a note next to them on the counter. {The sandwiches went in the fridge.}

7:00am-Said good-bye to groggy husband and half groggy child.

7:15am- Finally got in the car and drove 40 minutes to work.

8am-12:35pm- Met a lot of interesting people. Ya,right. One woman,a little older than me, came in for a 3 month check up. She keeps complaining of lice in her eye lashes since she has had head lice for one year!!! The doctor thinks it's a psychiatric problem because he has never seen any sign of eyelash lice. None the less,I have been itchy since I read her chart. She scratched herself (arms,legs,face,lashes,stomach....) through my brief vision and pressure check. Creeped me out, I tell ya!!

1:00pm- Picked Lillianna up at dance camp.
1:15pm-2:45pm- Had a nice visit with my friend Kristy.
3:00pm-4:00pm- Came home,ate lunch.
4:10pm-Dropped Lillianna off at Kristy's since she said she would take her while I went to a meeting at work.
4:10pm-4:35pm-Drove to meeting.
5:00pm-6:35pm- Meeting at work.
7:05pm- Picked Lillianna up at Kristy's house. Talked briefly with everyone (they have a meeting at their house on Wednesdays),hugs all around, then went home.
7:20pm-Started to cook chicken patties for sandwiches.
7:45pm-Sat down to eat dinner with Lillianna.
8:50pm- Rich got home while I was washing the dishes and cleaning the kitchen. I offered to make him chicken sandwiches. Rich announced that Lillianna was sound asleep in her bed. *sigh* Poor pumpkin. Fell asleep on a full stomach. I hope she doesn't have nightmares.
9:00pm-Gave Rich 2 sandwiches and a glass of ice tea.
He made a happy sound and kissed me.
I sat for a few minutes watching the last few seconds of DOC then told Rich I had computer things to do. And here I am.
It's 10:02pm and I am ready to get in my jammies and relax for a while. I think I deserve it.

How was your day?

Ninety two degrees? Damn,it's hot here.

I hate people who say,"It's not the heat. It's the humidity." Can I just say that no matter what you think,it's freakin' hot here today!!!!
Lillianna just ran to tell me that Rich is on his way home. He's leaving work an hour earlier than usual because I believe he said he looks like he was hit by a truck. Sweating buckets while delivering heavy reacreational items is no picnic,I'm sure. Plus, for all his back breaking effort,no one ever tips.

Rich had a collapsed lung when he was a teenager and part of it collapsed again last year so this heavy lifting in the heat is not good for him. Of course when Lillianna told me Rich was on his way home I immediately panicked. I figured he collapsed or he had an accident. I'm Jewish. I always think the worst. It's in my blood.

So now dinner will be made an hour earlier and I should get things going. Lillianna is whining that she is hungry. She will get an egg white omelet because she will not eat what we are eating and Rich and I will get Tyson's sirloin tips with noodles and peas. Gotta keep it simple.
Did I mention how hot it is here????

What's the temperature where you are?

Listening to my daughter

This is posted at DotMoms today.

Momday

Rich declared yesterday to be "Lilly day." When I asked Lillianna what that meant she said,"I am writing down everything I want to do today,like games I want to play, and Daddy will do it." Of course I was at work and I was very envious of Lilly day. I never get a day. I had to work on Mother's Day,so that doesn't count. I wanted a day just for myself.

When my 11:00am meeting got canceled today at 9:00am, I took that as a sign. Today is MOMDAY! It sounds so much like Monday that it must be a good omen,right? I am still in my jammies and I am looking forward to my nap in the afternoon. I am not showering until later in the day because our only commitment today is Lillianna's Hip-Hop class at 6:00pm. I am so happy that this day is all about me. Lillianna was surprised at first but I think she will be cooperative.

Do you ever give yourself a day to do nothing?

Mean,nasty and dangerous neighbors

Bobbi is having a heck of a time with her demented neighbors. Not only are they annoying but they are basically psychotic stalkers. Please check out this post and if you can offer her any advice, I know she would greatly appreciate it. People should be safe in their home.

Lillianna's first date

As you may remember,Lillianna and Zach were married during this past school year. I know they are only 7 years old but they took their marriage seriously. (Better than some married adults I know.)
On the next to last day of school,I spoke to Zach's mom,Linda,and we decided to try to get the kids together for a play date over the summer. At the beginning of this week, Zach left a message for Lillianna on our answering machine. She called him back the following day and then Linda and I confirmed their plans.

Lillianna put on her favorite skort set and sandals and then she asked me to put her hair in a ponytail.Usually she protests ribbons and bows but she did let me use the ponytail elastic with attached flowing ribbons. She looked adorable. It was a very long day with her asking me every 10 minutes,"Is it almost time to go?" At 4:30pm,Lillianna and I met Linda,Zach and his twin sister,Samantha,at Papa Gino's for pizza. After dinner,we drove down the road to the bowling alley and we let the kids bowl three strings.

They were very well behaved and the three of them had a lot of fun together. When Lillianna was bowling, Zach knelt behind her holding up the next ball for her to use. He reminded me of the prince holding the glass slipper on a pillow for Cinderella. Then Lillianna did the same thing for Zach. It was very funny to watch them.

Linda and I got a chance to chat which was a lot of fun. She is very nice and she has many of the same rules for her children that I have for Lillianna. It's always a joy to find other mothers who expect their children to behave properly and who don't let them run wild.

We were on our way home at 8:00pm and Lillianna was surprised that we had been out for 3 1/2 hours. "Wow!" she exclaimed."I guess it was a real date!"
I hope all her future dates turn out to be this much fun and that every boy is as sweet,courteous and polite as Zach.

A sleep over

Lillianna is sleeping at her friend Mollie's house tonight so I told her to start packing her things. She just came in to say she packed four pair of underwear for her one night sleep over. That's my girl! My packing skills have rubbed off on her. I'm so proud.

Just in case

It's often on my mind that Rich was only 4 years old when his mother died. His siblings were 2,6 and 8 years old. Their mom was only 27. The "kids" never recovered from the sudden death of their mother. She was gone before she could make a life time of memories with them. That always makes me so sad.

I am in no way saying that mothers are better than fathers, but in my opinion, a child needs a mother. There are so many things that moms do that dads just don't do. In a perfect world a child would have 2 loving parents because each person brings something different to the child's life.

In our family, Rich is the one who takes Lillianna on walks to an old cemetery in town to read the historical grave stones. He plays endless board games with her. He taught her to play marbles. He taught her to paint. He is helping her learn to play the guitar. He war games with her. He takes her bowling and to the movies on the weekend when I am at work. He is trying to teach her to ride her bike without training wheels but she is still hesitant about that.

I am the one who talks to her about everything. We talk about keeping safe, we talk about not drinking alcohol or taking drugs. We talk about puberty.Anything that is on her mind becomes an open discussion. I am the one who cuddles in bed with her in the middle of the day as we read Junie B.Jones books together. I take her to the pool and swim with her for hours. I take her on surprise trips for ice cream or to Build-A-Bear workshop to pick up something special for her 2 dogs,Kaleigh and Michaela. I go on her field trips from school or from Brownies.

Neither one of us can do it all. It takes both of us to pull this off.
I always worry about dying. I don't obsess over this....much, but it does pop up from time to time.

Yesterday,one of the doctors that I work for,had a heart attack. I had thought he was in good health. He eats right and exercises all the time. Still, he had a heart attack. That threw it all in my face again. I try to eat right, but I am not always successful. I have been trying to exercise but I haven't been doing well with that.
Here is this doctor,who I thought was in great health and he had a heart attack. Luckily he is doing well today but it has me worried.

What if something happens to me before I am done raising Lillianna? Keep in mind that I won't be "done" until she is well into her fifties....and then some!
I was wondering if I should write a book for her "just in case," like my thoughts on dating,sex,graduation from high school,college,marriage,her first child....things like that.

I fully expect to live to be at least 85 but just in case,I am wondering if she will remember how much I love her and how special she has always been to me. Of course she hears this a million times a day from me but she is only 7. Will what I say today be remembered 20 years from now if something were to happen to me tomorrow? I try to live life to the fullest because life is short and you never know how long you have but I feel like a need a safety net.

Have you ever written something for your child "just in case"?

A good laugh

Today I had the pleasure of meeting a very nice 80 year old woman. We started talking and she said she feels bad for the parents of today because times are so different.

Me: I know what you mean. I have a 7 year old daughter and I tell her things now that I didn't know until I was in my late teens.

Woman: I agree. Everything now is sex,sex,sex. It's crazy what the kids are seeing.

Me: It's true. It's hard to keep her innocence.

Woman: Sex is everywhere now. It's different from back in my day. I was a late bloomer back then. I didn't know anything about sex. It wasn't until I was about 20 years old that I realized I was a sex!

I burst out laughing. That just struck me in such a way that I laughed all the way from my toes. My laughing caused her to start laughing.
We both felt much better afterwards. Sometimes, you just have to laugh.

It was just so out of character

It's Blogging For Books time at The Zero Boss and this is my first entry in months. Here are the rules:

Parents. Most of us have them. Some of us are them. Most of us have had "moments" with our parents that either marked a greater understanding in the parent-child relationship, or signified the beginning of the end of our interaction. Similarly, those of us with kids have often experienced turning points where, in a blinding flash of reality, we truly "got" what it meant to be a parent.

For this month's Blogging for Books, write about a pivotal point in your life as a parent, OR write about a pivotal point in your relationship with one of your parents.


My dad was the kind of guy that everyone loved.He had a warm smile and a twinkle in his eye and when he said,"It's good to see you," you knew he meant it. He loved to laugh and he did it often. All of my friends thought I was lucky to have such a funny dad and I always agreed. Some dads were so serious and grumpy looking but my dad always knew how to make people happy.

Dad enjoyed singing and dancing.He always had the stereo playing and he enjoyed singing dramatically with his booming voice. Oh,sometimes he didn't know the words and he just made them up but he sang with such conviction,he made me believe that his words were the right ones.I can still be heard singing,"Hang on Snoopy",or "They call me mello yellow,that's right slick!" It sounded good when he sang it and sometimes I slip up.

Daddy always took the time to listen to whatever was on my mind and he tried to give me advice, even if it wasn't the advice I wanted to hear at that moment. I appreciated the fact that he always had time for me. I knew I could talk to him about anything.He was such a laid back,easy going kind of guy. Nothing ever seemed to bother him.

The only thing Daddy didn't have patience for was foolishness. Not the happy-go-lucky kind of thing where you do something goofy. He was all for that. One year,he dressed in drag with some of the other dads for their dance number in my sister's recital. That was just good fun. The kind of foolishness where someone does something irritating or infuriating when it could've all been avoided was what made him angry.

When I was 14 years old, our family went on our annual vacation to Florida. We stayed in the same hotel each year and often dined with friends who took their vacation at the same time that we did.One night,it was a casual eating night,so we went to an area that had several restaurant choices in the same strip mall. Mom took my sister,Kara, to get a hot dog in one place while Dad and I went with his friends and their two children to get pizza.

For some reason, I had trouble deciding on what kind of pizza I wanted. I remember taking quite some time looking over the menu and still being torn between the salami or the pepper and onion pizza.Daddy was sitting directly across from me and his frown told me that I had to hurry up and make my decision already. When the waitress came over to our table,I was in a panic. I still didn't know what I wanted. Looking back,I have no idea why this was such a big deal to me. I liked both types of pizza and the decision should have been an easy one to make. But it wasn't.

After the waitress took everyone's order,she stopped in front of me. "Uhm...well....I think I will have a pepper and onion pizza and a root beer." As she marked that off and began to walk away I changed my mind. "Ah,excuse me, I think I would rather have the salami...no wait...." and before I could say another thing,Daddy stood up,glared at me and slapped me across the face.

At first I was too stunned to do anything. He slapped me! This kind,gentle man who wouldn't hurt a fly,slapped me. He had never hit me in my entire life. Oh sure,Mom gave me "the look" many times when I did something wrong,but Dad,he never did or said anything. I stood up slowly with tears and confusion in my eyes and looked helplessly at my dad.I blinked as if to wake myself up from this nightmare and walked out of the restaurant to where my mother was having dinner.

I walked in a trance past the stores advertising cheap t-shirts and suntan lotion until I found my mom. I looked into her eyes as tears blurred my own and said,"Mother...Father has struck me," and I turned and walked out without even waiting for her to respond. As I walked out of the front door of the restaurant,I could hear her calling my name but I never looked back. I could feel my tears splashing on my toes as they bounced off my sandals.

I crossed the busy highway and headed on foot towards our hotel which was down the street. I hoped that a speeding car would kill me when I crossed the dangerous road so that my father would feel bad. I was sad,hurt,humiliated and angry. What the hell had happened? Why did he slap me....just because I couldn't decide on a pizza?

When I finally reached our hotel, I decided to take a walk on the beach. I kept thinking,"If I get raped or killed now, Daddy will be really sorry that he slapped me!!" That was all that I kept thinking as I walked like a zombie on the cold, wet sand.

A few minutes later,Daddy found me on the beach. He had tears streaming down his face as he hugged me and cried,"I am so sorry......so sorry."
He said that my indecision just made him so aggravated that he lost his temper and hit me. He was surprised when he realized what he had done.He hadn't meant to do it. He said that he hoped that I could forgive him.

I didn't even know what to say. This was not the dad that I had known all my life. He was a stranger who couldn't put up with me changing my mind about the kind of pizza I wanted for dinner. Usually he didn't even raise his voice when I fought with my sister or when I was a typical moody teenager or when I went stomping off to my room for one thing or another. This man seemed so foreign to me. Who was he?

I looked at his tear stained face and tried to find my Daddy.He looked so frightened by what he had done and I knew he was sorry. He made a mistake that he regretted. My heart felt empty for a few days and I was slightly on edge. I watched his every move waiting for another out burst but it never came.

After some time,I put this incident out of my mind. It was so out of character for my father that I chose to ignore it. I simply wasn't able to connect the act of slapping me with anything my father would normally do. It was easier to pretend it never happened.

Fortunately this didn't actually change my relationship with my dad and we continued to share the close bond that we had always had. Still, whenever I hear the Tom Petty song, Refugee, it reminds me of the car ride back to the restaurant after Dad and I left the beach. As I sat in the front seat,tasting the salt from my tears,I vowed to always remember the song that was playing on the radio on that fateful night.
I guess I never truly forgot afterall.

A much needed shopping trip

Due to a lack of extra money, there have been certain things that I have let slide over the past few months. They may seem like little things and I suppose that they are but when it comes down to buying something or paying a bill, I usually choose the latter.

Yesterday,Rich and I both got paid and these are the checks to pay the bills and if there is anything left over then I can buy that now too. The next 2 pay checks are saved to pay the rent. So here is my list of the extravagant things I will purchase today on our trip to Wal-Mart.

1.SOCKS......mine are all faded and many have holes in them. There are quite a few that have lost their soul mate in the hamper-washer-dryer cycle and I hate wearing mis-matched socks! I think I will splurge and buy myself seven new pair. Yes, seven!!! I'm just insane,aren't I?

2. A MOP........This is mostly for Rich because who the heck am I kidding? I never mop. About 6 months ago our mop broke while Rich was washing the kitchen floor and ever since then, he has been washing the floor on his hands and knees. I figure that guy could use a break already.

3.A STEP STOOL......When we moved 2 1/2 years ago I threw my step stool in the dumpster because Rich had bought it for me when we were first married. This move was into two separate apartments because Rich wanted to separate.To spite him (ya right) I threw this step stool away.

I'm only 5'3". The step stool was my lifeline but I was determined to throw away anything that reminded me of him. You'd think that once he came back,six months later,that I would've bought a new step stool. You'd be wrong.I haven't been able to reach a damn thing in all this time. Lillianna's step stool is half the size mine was so it helps a little bit,but not enough. I think it's time to get a new step stool. There are dishes and things all over the dining room table that Rich hasn't put back yet.I haven't put them back either because I can't reach the shelf!!!!

4. A BROILING PAN.......If I ever broil hamburgers in the oven,I balance my cookie rack on top of a sheet cake pan and create a wobbly and very unstable broiler-like pan. Many times the burgers have fallen off the rack and into the pan and the grease splatters everywhere. By the grace of G-d I have not started any grease fires. Lillianna has recently decided she likes broiled fish so I figure it's time to invest in a broiling pan. Don't you agree?

So that's it. That's my crazy list for today. I can't wait to go shopping.

Stop coughing on me,damn it!

One of my biggest pet peeves is people who come in for an eye exam when clearly they should be in bed,drinking hot tea and taking cold medication. If they are going to their primary care physician for a "sick visit" then that is one thing. They are trying to get well.Ok.I'm all for that. Coming to an eye doctor for a routine eye exam in this condition is simply a selfish way of spreading their germs.

The other day,an older woman came in for a 6 month follow up visit and she told me that she had been very sick with a bad cold for 10 days. Right away I was aggravated. Germs are everywhere and there is no escaping them but she could have rescheduled this appointment for when she was feeling better. She had been getting worse over those 10 days and didn't want to bother her doctor.How kind of her.Don't bother your pcp for meds...just come right in my office and expose me to your illness.

So, here I am trying to refract her behind the phoroptor,(that's the big black and silver thing you look through to determine your eyeglass prescription...you know....when we ask you, "Which is better, one or two?") and it was absolutely infuriating.

I asked her the one or two question and there was a pause.

Patient: Uhm,one.(coughcoughcoughcoughcough.....big phleghmy cough,coughcoughcough....infection is flying straight out in front of her so I step way to the side.....patient sits back from phoroptor and presses tissue to her mouth....coughcoughcoughcoughcough....puts her head back in the initial position)

Me: Which is better now, three or four?

Patient: Three.(coughcoughcoughcoughcough.....huge hacking cough...another hacking cough......patient sits back from phoroptor again,coughcoughcough..germs are scurrying around the exam chair)

Me: Why don't I go get you some water? I'll be right back.

(I go off to the water cooler and get a cup of water. When I return to the exam room she drinks it down like a jello shot and hands me the cup. Fantastic...more freakin' germs. She puts her head behind the phoroptor again and I try to proceed.)

Me: I'll try to get through this as quickly as I can if you can just stay behind the phoroptor.

Patient: Sorry, it's just this darn cold.It's getting worse and worse every day.(coughcoughcoughcoughcough....another phlegmy nauseating cough.....tissue pressed to mouth.....coughcoughcough.)

(I held back from shouting,"So why the hell did you come in today? I can't afford to be sick. I have two jobs and both of them require that I speak without coughing up an internal organ."
I took a deep breath to calm myself but realized,too late, that I probably sucked in some extra germs with that cleansing breath.)

In the end,I refracted her while trying to dodge the spewing germs which were pouring forth like lava from a volcano.
After the exam, I escorted her out to the waiting room,put on my surgical gloves and scrubbed and scrubbed every inch of that exam room with Sani-Cloths which basically kills everything. Generally we only put on the gloves when we are putting in eye drops and have direct contact with the patient. If I had known how much protection I was going to need for this exam,I would've put on my gloves,a gown and a surgical mask.

If you are sick and have a doctor's appointment with an eye doctor,dentist,podiatrist,chiropractor or any other exam that is not a "sick visit" with your pcp.......STAY HOME!

A dinner date

My mom took Lillianna last night for 2 days and 2 nights. Last night she slept over mom's house and this morning they headed down to Cape Cod to sleep at the beach house Kara and Peter have for this week. Lillianna will have fun with Lena and Bella and I will have time to myself,when I'm not working.She has never been away from home for more than one night but it will be good for all of us. She is with my family so I am not worried about her safety.

This leaves me and Rich with some bonding time. Last night was pretty low-key since we just stayed home but on my way home from work today I decided to do something fun tonight. Rich got a co-worker to switch late nights with him so he will be home at 6:30pm instead of 9pm tonight. We don't really have the money to go wild but I said, "Screw it!" and we are going out to dinner at our favorite restaurant and I am charging it on my credit card!

We never have time as a couple and on the rare occasion that we do, we don't have any money to do anything. So, I am throwing caution to the wind and we are going to have some fun. Rich will get his favorite prime rib and I will get a seafood pasta meal that I adore.....and I will indulge in a green apple martini. I haven't had one of those since last November when we celebrated our wedding anniversary.

I am going to relax for the rest of the day and then get ready for my date. I can't wait.

Happy Fourth of July

For most Americans,today is a day off from work.Rich's company decided that today would be a good day to be open for a while,so he is working 9am-3pm. *sigh* We didn't get this news until last Friday because the boss couldn't decide if he should close or not. Since Rich delivers for a swimming pool company (no deliveries today) which also sells bars,saunas,patio furniture,pool tables and many other non-swimming pool related things,this is clearly a day to be open and ruin any chance of our family being together for a fun day of bonding. Someone might run in for that last minute chlorine, right? Must.......be........open!

I sent my unhappy husband off to work and now it's time for Lillianna and I to plan our day. After a quick trip to the ATM and a fill up at the gas station,we are headed into town to the local college campus where there are activities for all ages, all day today. We will get there around 1pm for the 1st storyteller,then the magic show, then at 3pm is Lillianna's favorite; Big Ryan's Tall Tales. He entertained at Lillianna's 4th birthday. He is just captivating.
There is also a Festival of the arts for the kids and I think Lillianna will be able to make seashell jewelry.

Rich should be home by 4pm. After dinner we will head to the ball field for fireworks which start at 9:30pm. Lillianna is very excited and I am happy that we will at least have part of the day as a family. Last year I had to work until 9:30pm on the 4th of July so we weren't together at all. Tonight should be fun.

HAPPY FOURTH OF JULY TO ALL OF YOU.

What are you doing to celebrate?

A rite of passage

When I was a child,religion was extremely important to me. As an adult,it is even more important and yet it has been years since I have been to the temple on a regular basis. This is what A rite of passage is all about.

You can read it over at Dotmoms.

A day of cleaning

Yesterday I cleaned.For anyone who has read this blog before,you know that's a big deal for me. I hate cleaning and I try to avoid it whenever possible. Rich usually cleans when I am at work on the weekends. (Thank you,honey!)

Since I have felt rather blue lately, I wanted to change something that I had some control over. I decided to put some order in our apartment and I started with Lillianna's bedroom. At 10am,armed with my good intentions and a willing daughter, I began to straighten out her room. I started with her closet. I like her clothes to go in order: dresses,skirts,capri pants,jeans,short sets,shorts,pretty shirts,
t-shirts,a couple of long sleeved shirts (We're in Massachusetts.It could snow in the summer!),sweaters and then sweatshirts. It took a while but I got that task completed.

Then I had Lillianna crawl under her bed and pull out everything. She found her hospital socks from her 2 day stay at the hospital when she dehydrated. I don't want to know how long those furry things have been trapped under there. It was like a magician's hat under that bed. The more she pulled out,the more there was to pull out. After 3 hours, we took a one hour break for lunch. We were exhausted. At 2pm, we started in again.

We threw 2 trash bags full of stuff away. I organized her book shelf,her reading corner and her bureau,then I sent her in the living room for a while because I wanted to make a special place for her. Last month,she gave her Little Tykes toy box to a friend of mine for her daughter so there is a big space by her bureau. Until yesterday, that space was filled with all the clutter she couldn't stuff in her closet. Now that the area was clear, I did some rearranging.

I took her armoire, old fashioned desk and chair set and canopy bed for her American Girl Dolls and put them in the empty area. Her 3 dolls sat on top of the armoire. When Lillianna saw this, her face lit up. She thanked me a million times with shrieks of, "I love you Mommy!!!!!!" She said, "I can't believe you Feng Shui'd the place." Ya, well, I didn't but I did clean it up beyond recognition. When the room was finished,Lillianna was thrilled and so was I. The four hours it took to fix her room was worth it.She said it was better than Extreme Make-overs/Home Edition.

At 3pm, I straightened our bedroom;not a deep cleaning like Lil's room but it looked good....and I dusted. Then off to the living room,the bathroom and finally the kitchen. At 6pm I started dinner. When Rich got home at 7pm,I had chicken cutlets,corn on the cob and mashed potatoes waiting for him. Our meal was delicious.
After dinner, I cleaned the table and the kitchen and by 8pm I was finished!!!!

I had quite a productive day and it did me a world of good. I felt better about the things I couldn't change and I felt victorious over the things I did change.
It just about wore me out and my back is killing me from being twisted in Lillianna's beanbag chair as I rearranged her library but it was the best therapy for me.

Instant mashed potatoes? Who knew?

I never gave instant mashed potatoes much thought growing up. I think my mom made them when I lived at home but I can't say for sure.I do remember that my sister,Kara, was always asking me to make them for her when she was a teenager. She never had the time to follow the directions on the package. The one time she did attempt to make them, she dumped everything in the pot at once and watched as the potato flakes floated helplessly around the top of the water.

"Why won't these flakes turn into potatoes?" she demanded.

I looked into the pot,rolled my eyes and asked sweetly,"Did you read the part that said to boil the water,butter and milk first and then add the flakes?"

"I don't have time for that!" she huffed and puffed. She pushed the box at me and said, "Here. You make them," and she stomped off.

When Rich and I got married,he made it clear that he loved home-made mashed potatoes. I wanted to be a good wife,whatever that is,so when it came time to make potatoes, home-made was the way to go. Since this is a sometimes painful procedure,peeling,cutting,waiting for them to boil,then the tedious mashing, I tend to only make this side dish on special occasions.

Lillianna and I had dinner over Kara's house last weekend and she made instant mashed potatoes.(Twelve years later she is able to follow the directions. Hey wait a minute...she asked me to make them while she checked the grill outside. Hmmmmmmm!)Anyway,the simple preparation of Potato Buds got me thinking,"I could easily make these with a meal."

I bought myself a big old box yesterday when I was food shopping and then I asked Rich if he would mind the instant brand rather than home-made. He said that would be ok. They came out like soft clouds of potato goodness. Yum! Over dinner I asked,"So, you didn't mind that they were instant?"
He said,"Not at all. This is what I grew up with."

I nearly choked. He's going to be getting instant from now on!!!! Well,except for Thanksgiving. I think I can make home-made for that. It's his favorite holiday meal.

What kind of mashed potatoes do you make? Home-made or instant?