My right....your left

I'd like to think I am a fairly intelligent person. I have been working in an ophthalmology practice for the past 15 years. I have a complete understanding of where your eyes are located, I really do. So, when you are telling me your complaints,just tell me which eye on your body is bothering you and leave me out of it!

I can't tell you how many patients say, "My right eye is blurry. Well, my right,your left." How did my eyes get involved in this patient's story? I don't even know these people. Even if I am standing face to face with you, I know your right is on my left side and your left eye is on my right side. It's really so simple that I can't say I ever think about it until a patient makes such a mountain out of a molehill that I don't even know what the heck they are talking about.

"You see,my right eye, well your left eye was bothering me at first but then my left eye,I mean my right eye,.....no, you're right eye....my left eye....." Come on people. Let's keep it simple, ok? Don't try to make it easier for me...you just can't do it. You try my patience and make me want to bolt out of the exam room.

Now, whatever you do,don't tell me you have a pig stye on your right eye, my left eye or I will be forced to kill you.