Everything I've been reading lately says that I need to find what I am passionate about and then pursue that dream. I'm less than 2 weeks away from turning 44 and I'm not sure I even know what my passion is. Do I still have dreams for myself? Have I resigned myself to the fact that all I can really do is work,pay the bills,take Lillianna to her activities,cook dinner and then go to sleep so that I can do it all over again the next day? That doesn't sound passionate at all.
I love being Lillianna's mother. There is so much daily joy in that alone that I don't really think about what would make me happy other than having a happy and well adjusted child. I'm doing well in that category so sometimes,that is enough. Or is it?
I love writing but I can't say I'm passionate about it. It's fun to be creative at times but is this really my passion? I absolutely know that I hate jobs that deal with people. I'm good at them but I don't enjoy them a good portion of the time.
I recently found out that the baby I take care of 3 days a week is going out of state to visit her parents in 2 weeks so I will lose that money. I could pick up 2 mornings at the ophthalmic practice that I work at on Saturdays but I almost got an anxiety attack when I thought of actually doing it. I passionately HATE that job so I begged Rich to work overtime at his job to make up for it during that week. The thought of picking up 2 mornings made me sick even for just one week.
So,I guess I can rule out the jobs that I hate but I can't figure out what I love. Why don't I have passion anymore? Did I ever have it?
How did you find your passion?
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