"Mom" is me!

I was on the phone this morning and I glanced over to the calendar Lillianna made in school a couple of months ago. January is hanging by one corner so I can see February underneath it. I noticed Lillianna had written "Mom's B-day" on February and my first reaction was confusion. Why would Lillianna write that my mom's birthday was in February? She knows it's in July!

Suddenly I realized that she meant my birthday. I'm Mom! You'd think I could figure that out after nine years but it still makes me stop and think when I see Lillianna write Mom on a calendar. I immediately think of my mother.

Has this ever happened to you?

The big four-OH!

Today is Rich's 40th birthday. To think,he was a young lad of 26 when we first met. My how time does fly.

Rich kept going back and forth about what he wanted to do on this special day. As of yesterday,we were planning to go out for breakfast this morning and then around 12:30pm,Kara,Peter and Cody(my favorite furry chocolate lab nephew)were coming over for cake.

Last night at 10pm,Gary called to ask what we were doing today. Rich told him we were having cake around 1pm so he came over with Kristy and Jerry. Sal and his 5 year old daughter,Samantha also joined the party. (Rich and Sal do an internet radio show on www.bunkradio.com ) I hadn't seen Samantha since her 1st birthday. She is just a precious and lovely little girl. She had so much fun with Lillianna.

So,Rich's un-birthday turned into a wonderful day for all of us.

Happy 40th birthday,honey!

"Exploitation" vs "just acting"

I'm not a big movie goer but this story intrigued me.

Should a 12 year old actress play the part of a rape victim in a movie or is she just too young? It seems people are in an uproar about Dakota Fanning's latest role.
Personally,knowing that a 12 year old girl is raped in this movie,I'd never ever go see it. I can't stand anything about rape or abuse.

Yes,I know it happens and not acknowledging these movies won't make it go away but I don't find watching it to be enjoyable at all. Not even if there is a wonderful message at the end of it.

The article said that as children, Jodi Foster and Brooke Shields both played roles considered inappropriate for a child their age.

Do you think a 12 year old should play a rape victim? Is this a movie you would go to see?

Killing your child is never honorable

This article made me want to cry. I know it's a cultural issue but no matter how you try to explain it to me,there is just no honor in killing your innocent child. It's called MURDER and the killer should be put to death!

It is a parent's job to protect and love their child no matter what. I know that isn't a priority in some cultures because girls are not valued as much as boys but a child is still a child and he/she didn't ask to be born. We must take care of each one of our precious children.

The point is,the 17 year old girl in the article was a virgin and her father killed her anyway. What is wrong with this world???????????

A question of passion

Everything I've been reading lately says that I need to find what I am passionate about and then pursue that dream. I'm less than 2 weeks away from turning 44 and I'm not sure I even know what my passion is. Do I still have dreams for myself? Have I resigned myself to the fact that all I can really do is work,pay the bills,take Lillianna to her activities,cook dinner and then go to sleep so that I can do it all over again the next day? That doesn't sound passionate at all.

I love being Lillianna's mother. There is so much daily joy in that alone that I don't really think about what would make me happy other than having a happy and well adjusted child. I'm doing well in that category so sometimes,that is enough. Or is it?

I love writing but I can't say I'm passionate about it. It's fun to be creative at times but is this really my passion? I absolutely know that I hate jobs that deal with people. I'm good at them but I don't enjoy them a good portion of the time.

I recently found out that the baby I take care of 3 days a week is going out of state to visit her parents in 2 weeks so I will lose that money. I could pick up 2 mornings at the ophthalmic practice that I work at on Saturdays but I almost got an anxiety attack when I thought of actually doing it. I passionately HATE that job so I begged Rich to work overtime at his job to make up for it during that week. The thought of picking up 2 mornings made me sick even for just one week.

So,I guess I can rule out the jobs that I hate but I can't figure out what I love. Why don't I have passion anymore? Did I ever have it?

How did you find your passion?

We're just kids at heart

Over the past few months I have occasionally caught Rich on a website that had me a bit concerned at first. Oh,it wasn't porn or a single's chat so I guess I should be relieved that I don't have that kind of husband. The sounds from the computer had me curious so I looked to see what he was playing. I laughed when I realized he was playing baseball on the Build-A-Bear website. That's where Lillianna likes to play.

How can you be mad at an innocent thing like that? I suppose I shouldn't have made fun of him because in the past week,I have been hooked on the games in the Webkinz website. Ya,they're kid games but they're really kind of fun.

I chalk this up to the inferior games that we had as kids. I grew up in the age when Etch-a-sketch was a miracle toy. Hey it was super if you only wanted to make straight lines in every direction. That got boring after a few minutes,though. That's when you had to turn to Spirograph. That provided hours of endless fun.

When I was in my late teens,Kara got Atari. Mom and Dad made her promise she'd play with it and not get sick of it. She swore if she got it she would play with it all the time. "All the time" equaled about one month. Dad liked the poker game. I liked the clown that bonked his head and died every time I made a wrong move. I know,that's kind of sick.

My point is,we missed out on cool computer games. So,if Rich and I occasionally play a kid game on one of Lillianna's favorite websites it's 'cuz we're just kids at heart.

Are you sitting in a tub of terriyaki sauce?

Anyone who has ever read this blog knows how I feel about words that are spelled or used incorrectly. This morning I was watching a talk show and some guy confessed to his girlfriend on the phone that he had been in prison for drugs before he met her.

When Greg,the host,asked her how she felt about this she said,"I don't know yet. I'll have to marinate on that."

I just picture her sitting in a tub of terriyaki sauce thinking about her lying,drug dealing boyfriend. Is that what she is planning to do?

Or did she mean to use the word ruminate?
If she didn't know this word she could've just said,"I'll have to think about it." We would've all understood that. What does she do when she's cooking meat? Does she ruminate on the steak by just looking at it and thinking she wishes it was covered in a sauce? I'm really confused.

I'll have to marinate on this one.


(Note: Hilly said marinate is Valley girl slang for thinking it over. I don't know....sounds odd to me. I don't think I'll be using it in that context.Will you?)

American Idol is the new Gong Show

Every one is making a big deal out of this season's American Idol. Yes,Simon is a bit nastier than in previous seasons but is he really that much different?

I look at it this way,you'd have to live in a cave,high on a mountain on another planet to not know what the AI auditions are like. Even if you're not a fan of this show,you must've seen it at least once. If you're planning on auditioning for AI,I would hope you researched the previous 5 seasons so that you know what you are in for. If you are completely clueless then you get what you deserve!

Even though some of these people say they are serious,I believe they are just looking for their 30 seconds of fame. Some are so horrendous,they should be ashamed to audition. If their friends and family are encouraging them,they need to get new friends and break away from their family. They know the truth but they won't spare you the public humiliation by telling you. These are not good people! Run away!!

I don't think that AI is any worse than the Gong Show was back in the 70s. Sometimes,an act would be performed and after one second they'd get the gong from one of the celebrity judges. Like the people who audition for AI,being rejected and humiliated is really part of the whole package. The Gong Show contestants knew that but for some reason,the AI contestants are shocked,angry and vindictive when they basically get the gong.

What is the difference? I just think there is more drama in 2007 than there was in 1976. People are more outrageous and the chance that a horrible audition may be shown over and over during the AI season or maybe even get a quick spot on the nightly news,is enough to get these untalented people in the spotlight. They crave attention.

Since AI is not a beauty contest,I believe that Simon should not criticize someone's outward appearance. These crazy people who sing horrific songs completely out of key or not even in any Earthly recognizable key, get what they deserve.

I can't sing. I know I can't. That's why you won't see me in any AI audition. Even if I wasn't 16 years over the age limit,I'd still never humiliate myself like that.

So,I will continue to watch AI because I find it funny and fascinating. Randy will always "Yo,yo,yo." Simon will always be an honest nasty bastard and Paula will appear high or intoxicated because she probably is. That's the show. That's why we watch it.

When growing up means growing apart

I totally forgot that this has been over at DotMoms since yesterday. Oooops. I've fallen a bit behind here.

You call this progress?

I was talking to Mom yesterday and I asked her how she dealt with handling all the bills when I was a kid. Dad never gave a thought to paying anything,he just worked really hard and handed Mom his check every week. She did the rest.
Sadly,this scene is all too familiar.

I said that I was completely overwhelmed with all the bills that come on a daily basis and I practically hyperventilate every time I get the mail. Mom said that there was no cable,computer,cell phones or extras on the phone bill. Everything was simple and straight forward.

Obviously,somewhere in my brain,I knew that fact but it didn't actually register until she said it. I miss the simpler times but I like the technology that we have now......I think.

I just wish everything was more affordable.

De-lurking Day

Kris reminded me that Sheryl created De-lurking Day a few years ago to find out who was reading her blog. I find it amusing that people tell me they read my blog but they've never left a single comment. I find that hard to do since I always have so much to say. How could I ever stay silent on someone else's blog?

Kris also said that some meme was floating around blog land about disclosing 5 things that no one knows about us. I'm kind of an open book so I can't believe that I have any secrets left but I'll give it a whirl.


1.)The reason I don't lie is because I was an only child until I was almost 12. If something happened,I did it! There was no one to blame,not even a pet,so I had no choice but to tell the truth.

2.)I still call my mother "Mommy" even though I am almost 44 years old. I've always called her that and it's too late to start calling her something else now. Kara calls her Ma and it always sounds like a sheep noise to me. I do occasionally call her Mom but that's only when I think about it. Mommy comes naturally to me.

3.)In my junior year of high school,I helped my friend Greg who was a senior,memorize a passage from The Merchant of Venice for his final exam. He learned it for the test and forgot it the next day. Twenty six years later,I can still recite it even though I've never read the book!

4.)I hate my feet. I think they are hideous. I am hoping in my next life that I have beautiful feet.

5.) I am currently hooked on C.S.I Miami. I don't know what it is about that show but I totally love it! I never liked David Caruso but as Horatio,I love that guy.

Ok,so that's it for me. All you lurkers out there,if there are any,de-lurk today!

Mom is home to visit!

Mom flew in from Florida yesterday and she stayed at Kara's last night. There's no point in opening her house for the 9 days she is here so she will bounce back and forth between me and Kara although,Kara gets the better deal since I work on the weekends but any time I can spend with Mom is fine with me. She's been gone since Halloween and it's hard for all of us when Mom flies south for the winter.

We've always been a very close family so it was tough when Mom and John bought a condo around 8 years ago and decided to spend the winters in Florida. Kara and I want Mom to be happy so we just deal with it but there are always tears when it's time for her to leave. Kara used to mock me when I cried but she gets teary now too so the mocking has stopped! Even Mom says,"Kara used to be my easy one. What happened?" I always tell Mom,"We can't help it if we love you!"

Mom is a wonderful cook so of course she asked me what I want her to make while she is here. I love her cabbage soup with meat so she has agreed to make that today. She stopped at her house for her pizzelle maker so that she and Lillianna can whip up some delicious cookies tonight. Lillianna and Rich love those cookies and for a Jewish woman,Mom makes a heck of an Italian cookie!

More than anything,I just enjoy being with Mom. In fact,everyone loves being with my mother. She is kind and loving and she is everything a mom and nana should be.

Hopefully she will be here in an hour. I can't wait to see her!

Do you have a close relationship with your mom?

Lunch time

Wednesdays are tough for Rich. He works from 9:30am-6:00pm then he drives 30 minutes to a meditation class. After that,he drives about 45 minutes to do his online radio show with his friend Sal on bunkradio from 9pm-11pm. He usually stays for the next show that ends at 1am and by the time all is said and done,he gets home around 1:45am. It's a long day and he has to take everything that he will need for the whole day and night with him when he leaves the house at 9am.

This morning,he took his back pack with a change of clothes and 2 bags of trash that I asked him to throw in the dumpster on his way out. As he turned to lock the door behind him,he put the hanger from his shirt in his mouth and said,"I feel like a fish!" I had to laugh. He did look like a fish with a hook in his mouth. Somehow he managed to lock the door and off he went.

Fifteen minutes later I noticed Lillianna's girl scout cookie order on the table. Rich wanted to take it to work today since his co-workers wanted to buy some cookies. I sighed that he had forgotten it two days in a row and then I noticed that the cookie order was sitting on top of his lunch box! All his food for the day was in there and there was no extra money to take out from the ATM. He had to have this lunch!

When I called him on his cell phone he yelled something unrepeatable but then he calmed down when he realized he had to make a delivery in our town this morning. He said he'd drop by to pick up his lunch. Problem solved.

At 12:30pm he popped in and decided to grab a snack. I have to go food shopping so there wasn't much to choose from but he managed to grab 2 mini brown sugar cinnamon bagels and 2 small bottles of water. With half a bagel in his mouth he kissed me good-bye and headed out the door. He was just about to leave when I noticed the lunch box was still on the table!

I rolled my eyes and asked,"Did you want your lunch?" He looked stunned and then we laughed. I shook my head and said,"Well,I had nothing to blog about until now."
As long as there are husbands there will always be posts to write.

The stray eyebrow

I don't understand the growth pattern of my eyebrows. I really don't. I check them every day to make sure nothing odd is growing out of there but then,when I least expect it,I see it....that one eyebrow that is 5 inches longer than all the rest!

I fluff my eyebrow with my fingers and this Ripley's Believe It Or Not eyebrow hair is staring me in the face. When fluffed,this hair practically reaches my chin. Where the heck has it been hiding all this time? It's not curly so it couldn't have doubled up and snuck behind a shorter hair to keep out of sight. I find this to be quite perplexing.

The reality is,after I pluck it,another long hair will appear a couple of days later.
I want to know why only one hair is so unbelievably long and where does it go when I am looking for it?

Do you have any long eyebrow hairs?

I just need a break

This past week has felt especially overwhelming to me. Sometimes,I think about what I have to do each day and I just sigh. Being a mom and a wife brings responsibilities that have begun to get me down. We all have too much to do in our lives but lately,too much has turned into way too much.

I am now working 48 hours a week since I added babysitting for "A" into my schedule at the beginning of December. She is wonderful and being with her sure beats listening to people complain during an eye exam so I was happy to give up that crappy job on Thursdays to be with her. That doesn't change the fact that I am mentally and physically exhausted.

I don't mean to say it is any more than most moms do,it's just that moms do a lot of things that go unacknowledged by the family. That's sad. It really is.
I know that I probably don't appreciate some of the things that Rich does although I do thank him when he cleans and does the laundry since I hate doing both of those things.

Today is another day of running around on my "day off." There are things that have to get done and I'm the one to do them. I'd really rather curl up in bed and take a 3 hour nap to prepare me for the working weekend ahead but there is no time for that.

What do you do when you just need a break? How can I make time for myself?

New kid on the blog

My friend,Lisa,just started her own blog today. I wish that Lisa was my sister-in-law but she's actually my sister Kara's sister-in-law. Our families blended so well in this marriage that we are one big happy family whether we are related or not. We're very lucky!

Lisa's husband,TC(Peter's brother) was the best man in Kara and Peter's wedding so we walked down the aisle together since I was the matron of honor.Lillianna is still quoting TC's wedding speech. He is an unbelievable story teller.We were all mesmerized. TC is very funny and interesting but Lisa rolls her eyes at him just like I roll my eyes at Rich. Hey,they're men. What else can ya do?

Their son,Trent,is the love of everyone's life. He is sweet and charming and Lillianna loves him. He is also a big fan of hers even though there is a 6 year age difference.He's only 3. Either way,we all adore him. I'll have to write about New Year's Eve and how funny he was the other night.

TC is going back to Iraq which I just found out Sunday night. I was devastated. I think Lisa is handling it better than I did. I had everyone praying for him when he was there a couple of years ago so the prayers will have to begin again soon.

Please pop over and welcome Lisa to the blog world. She is amazing and funny and an awesome photographer.

Happy New Year

May 2007 be a wonderful year for all of us!