What I wish I had said

I am really burnt out of ophthalmology. The writing was really on the wall this past Thursday when I had one bitchy,obnoxious,whining patient after the next. I wanted to run out the front door and never look back. Sixteen years at one job is way too long.

Here are the comments I got from patients and what I wish I had said to them.

1. I'm not really good at this kind of thing.

It doesn't take a brain surgeon to keep your eyes open and read a chart!

2. Can you tell if my eyes have changed?

What am I,psychic? Why don't I wait until the exam is actually done before I give you an answer.

3. No,I'm not diabetic. I take pills for that.

If you take diabetes pills,guess what dipstick? You are diabetic!!

4. I didn't wear my hearing aide. Can you speak up?

No,I won't speak up. Stop living in denial that you are deaf as a haddock and just wear your hearing aide!

5. I don't really like people near my eyes!

That's too freakin' bad. You're at an EYE doctor's office for your own health. Suck it up.
I don't like people near my vagina but I have an annual check up with my gynecologist! Stop whining!

I really need to quit this job!