Welcome to Bawstin

I received this as an email today but I thought it was funny enough to share it with the blog world.

For those of you who have never been to "Bawstin", this is a good guideline. I hope you will consider coming to "Beantown" in the near future. For those who call New England home, this is just plain great!

Information on Boston and the surrounding area:

There's no school on School Street, no court on Court Street, no dock on Dock Square, no water on Water Street.

Back Bay streets are in alphabetical "oddah": Arlington, Berkeley, Clarendon, Dartmouth, etc.

So are South Boston streets: A, B, C, D, etc.

If the streets are named after trees (e.g. Walnut, Chestnut, Cedar), you're on Beacon Hill.

If they're named after poets, you're in Wellesley.

Massachusetts Ave is Mass Ave; Commonwealth Ave is Comm Ave; South Boston is Southie.

The South End is the South End. East Boston is Eastie. The North End is east of the former West End. Roxbury is The Burry, Jamaica Plain is J.P.

How to say these Massachusetts city names correctly: **Say it wrong, be shunned**

Worcester: Wuhsta (or Wistah)
Gloucester : Glawsta
Leicester: Lesta
Woburn: Wooban
Charlestown: Char-less-town
Dedham : Dedim (like denim w/ a D in the N pace)
Revere: Re-vee-ah
Quincy: Quinzee
Peabody: Peabuddy
Waltham : Walth-ham
Chatham: Chattum

Definitions:
Frappes have ice cream, milkshakes don't.
If it is fizzy and flavored, it's tonic.
Soda is CLUB SODA.
Pop is Dad.
When we want Tonic WATER, we will ask for Tonic WATER.
The smallest beer is a pint.
Scrod is whatever they tell you it is, usually fish. If you paid less than $6/pound, you got scrod.

It's not a water fountain; it's a bubblah.
It's not a trashcan; it's a barrel.
It's not a spucky; it's a sub.
It's not a shopping cart; it's a carriage.
It's not a purse; it's a pocketbook.
They're not franks; they're haht dahgs.
Franks are money in France.

Police don't drive patrol units or black and whites they drive a "crooza".
If you take the bus, you're on the "looza crooza".
It's not a rubber band, it's an elastic.
It's not a traffic circle, it's a rotary.
"Going to the islands" means Martha's Vineyard and Nantucket.
If something's good, it's "pissa". If something's really good, it's "wicked pissa".

The Pats = The Patriots
The Sox = The Red Sox
The C's = The Celtics
The B's = The Bruins

Things not to do:
Don't pahk your cah in Hahvid Yahd .... they'll tow it to Meffa (Medford) or Slumaville (Somerville).
Don't sleep in the Common. (Boston Common)
Don't wear Orange in Southie on St. Patrick's Day.

The underground train is not a subway. It's the "T", and it doesn't run all night (fah chrysakes, this ain't Noo Yawk).

Bostonians think that it's their G-d given right to cut off someone in traffic. Bostonians think that there are only 25 letters in the alphabet (no R's). Bostonians think that three straight days of 90+ temperatures is a heat wave. Bostonians refer to six inches of snow as a "dusting."

For those of you who have never been to "Bawstin", this is a good guideline. I hope you will consider coming to "Beantown" in the near future.