Thursday, June 02, 2005

The downfall of the lollipop

When I was a child, Tootsie Roll Lollipops were all the rage. I think we all counted,at least once, how many licks it took to get to the center. Then Charms came out with bubblegum in the middle of their pops. What a bonus! Instead of reaching the center,getting a quick chew and then swallowing the tootsie roll, we got to chew our gum for a few minutes before it shrunk up to nothing and went stale.

Over the years,lollipops have changed. Flavors like grape,orange and raspberry are still around but they are probably not as popular as banana-berry-split,cotton candy,bubble gum and pina colada. I am in favor of new and improved flavors but there is one thing I disapprove of: new methods of eating a lollipop.

A few years ago,I was standing in the check out line in Wal-Mart when I noticed a display of motorized lollipops.Motorized lollipops! I picked one up, held it in my hand and gave it a good long look. I was stunned. With a push of a button, the pop would automatically twirl around in your mouth. I looked at the cashier and asked, "Are kids,nowadays,just too lazy to suck? Is this the kind of generation we are raising? It's not bad enough that there is a huge epidemic of obesity because kids over eat and don't exercise but now they can't even lick their own damn lollipop without help?" The cashier laughed and nodded in agreement.

I thought I had seen it all....until today.
Lillianna and I were in CVS picking up our film. While I was in line,Lillianna was browsing the candy selection. She picked up a pack of Jolly Ranchers and put them on the counter. Then she found something more interesting and brought it over for me to look at. CANDY SPRAY! Yes, you read that correctly. It's not one of those breath sprays to curb your appetite. This is a candy,marketed for kids,that is a spray.
Apparently chewing,sucking and swallowing has become too darn complicated for this generation. Now you can just spray a mist in your mouth and pretend you are eating candy. I told Lillianna she could have her Jolly Ranchers but NOT the candy spray. I refuse to raise someone without the basic skills to eat a lollipop.

This is truly a sad day in CandyLand for me.
Have you bought candy spray for your children?

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