What time is it?

This morning,I saw my first patient at 8:00am. When I looked at my watch to check the time, it said 8:30. I knew it wasn't 8:30 yet. That's when I realized my battery was dead.

You'd think I would've taken the watch off since it didn't help me at all. You'd be wrong. I left it on and looked at it all day. It never moved past 8:30. I knew it wasn't going to move but I still checked it.

Did you ever do anything weird like that or is it just me?

Lilly Day

I was going to write about Lilly Day but Lillianna wrote about it on her own blog.
You can read it here.

Today is Lilly Day!

Lillianna and I are going on a shopping trip today. She has gift cards to Limited Too and The Children's Place and I have to exchange her dance pants at Target and her leggings at Kohl's. Today it's all about her.

Of course,since she's an only child,isn't every day Lilly Day?

Coffee anyone?

Kara and Peter bought me this for Christmas! They have one at home and I use it whenever I'm there. For me,this is such an extravagant gift and I'd never buy it for myself.

A few weeks ago,Kara told me my gift was Peter's idea so I was thinking this might be the gift but I wasn't sure. I was so excited when I saw it. Peter hugged me and said it was a thank you for all the work I do for them in the office. I only worked in the office when they were on their honeymoon and I occasionally answer their calls on my cell phone if they have to do something during the day. I was stunned.

The beauty of this gift is that Lillianna loves making hot beverages for the family: coffee for me,tea for Rich and cocoa for Lil. She has so much fun making our drinks and I like feeling as if I am on vacation!

Come on over for coffee anytime! There's plenty to go around.

The last shopping day

These past 3 weeks have been a whirlwind. I have "A" 3 days a week which is a total joy for all our family. I have taken her to Target,CVS and one other store to do some holiday shopping. She sat patiently for 45 minutes on Wednesday waiting for our Christmas cards to be made at CVS. They said it would take 15 minutes so I figured I'd wait. There was only one woman working in that department so even though the cards were ready,she was too busy doing other things for other people to let me have them. "A" was wonderful as she laughed and smiled at me. Thank goodness she is a sweet baby.

Today is my first and only day off this week. I have to get EVERYTHING done because I work all weekend. I finally realized I had to ask Rich for help so he will be baking all the cookies on Sunday for 2 platters:one for Christmas Eve and one for Christmas Day. I can't do them today....no time. I also told him he will have to take Lillianna shoe shopping on Saturday because her black dress shoes don't fit anymore. There is just not enough time in my day today to do it all.

In one hour,I will head out to the bank and then to the mall that has just about everything for the last few gifts that I need. I also have to finish Kara's second scrapbook which is my gift to her and Peter. Their wedding/honeymoon book is done,now I am working on their "baby",Cody,my chocolate lab nephew! That reminds me,I have to go to the scrapbook store for more supplies.

I'll do the food shopping after I get Lillianna from school today then....oh crap!...I'd better call Rich and tell him not to eat pizza for lunch today...that's my plan for dinner. Who has time to cook? Not me.

Before Lillianna left for school I said I had to write a list of things to do since this is my one and only shot at getting it all done. She said,"Add breathe to your list,Mom!" She's such a smart child.

Everybody has a Gretchen

This morning,Lillianna was wondering whether she should wear ankle socks,peds or no socks with her furry clogs. I told her to wear whatever she felt more comfortable in. She thought someone might say something in school about her choice. I shrugged and said,"Well,everybody has a Gretchen." She said,"Ya....there's a Gretchen in Are you there God,it's me Margaret."

I laughed and said,"I didn't mean that everyone actually knows a Gretchen. I just meant there is always a Gretchen-like person in everyone's life."
Her next question was no surprise."Who is Gretchen,Mom?"

I explained that Gretchen was a girl who was friends with my best friend,Liane from 7th grade until we graduated. Liane was kind and sweet so she could tolerate Gretchen better than I could but she still got on her nerves.

If you got your hair cut,her usual comment was,"Ohhhhh.....you cut your hair.................Why did you do that? It looked better before." If you wore a new outfit to school,you might hear,"Wow! That's really interesting. I saw that in the store but there was no way I was going to buy it. You're really brave."

Lillianna just nodded her head. She knows. We all know. There's always one girl who tries to make others just feel bad. I didn't have the patience that Liane had so my response was usually snippy.

In 10th grade,I started dating a boy from another town. Gretchen's first question was,"What kind of car does he drive?" I told her I didn't know. I barely know what kind of car I drive now! She said,"Well,Mike drives a Trans-Am!" I went to school with Mike and yes,he had a nice car but he wasn't exactly boyfriend material. I said,"Well,I'd rather have a great boyfriend with an unknown car than have a mediocre boyfriend with a nice car!" She turned around in her chair and made a "Hmmmmph!" sound. I don't remember hearing any comments from her after that.

I don't think she was a bad person but she did like to put others down. I don't have much tolerance for that type of person. I like people to feel good about themselves and to be happy. Life is short. We should be kind to others just like we hope they'll be kind to us. Still,there is always that one girl...........

Who was your Gretchen?

Coffee filters....not just for coffee anymore!

For years,I had a box of coffee filters in the cabinet that I used whenever I brewed coffee.Since I am the only one in this house who drinks coffee,the filters lasted a long time. A few months ago,I finally used the last one so I bought new filters that just came wrapped in plastic. For some reason,I put them in the closet that has the dishes,Tupperware and snacks.

I don't know if Rich and Lillianna think that because the filters are in with the dishes that the filters actually are dishes but they keep using them as plates and bowls. It's not like we don't have clean dishes in the closet,because we do,but the filters are their first choice for snacks.

I first noticed this when my mom sent us a crate of oranges from Florida. Every time Rich peeled an orange,he put the peel in the coffee filter. Lillianna began to copy him. When I questioned Rich about this odd habit he thought for a minute and said,"I think I remember that my dad used to do this." I just shook my head and walked away.

Every now and then I'll notice a coffee filter on the table with remnants of some snack in it and it makes me laugh. Last night I made a cup of tea and took out 4 sugar free peanut butter cookies from the package. I opened the closet and grabbed a coffee filter. It was a handy flexible bowl for my cookies.

Do you use coffee filters for something other than coffee?

Lillianna's first and last day of basketball

When I signed Lillianna up for basketball in November,we were told her practices and games would be on Fridays. That suited us just fine since it was the only night other than Monday that she didn't have an activity and I didn't work.

Last week,her coach called to say her first practice would be on Thursday at 6pm. When I said it was supposed to be on Friday she said it was never offered on Friday. Rich and I heard them tell us it would be Friday but I didn't argue.

Basketball on Thursday would make it tough since Lillianna has Brownies from 3:45pm-5:00pm. That means a quick dash home with a fast dinner and then out the door in 30 minutes. We decided we would try to make a go of it since she has been waiting two years to play on a basketball team. She had to wait until 3rd grade to start.

She looked so good at her practice. I was really proud of her. I liked this so much better than when she tried soccer 4 years ago. I wouldn't mind being a basketball mom. After practice,as the girls were trying on their new t-shirt,the coach passed out the schedules. I was stunned!

She has games and practices at times that conflict with her other activities and we were assured that Friday would be her day for both. She can't make a practice at 5:00pm on Wednesday since she is in dance from 4:00pm-5:30pm. She can't go at 5:00pm on Thursday since that is when Brownies gets out and we'd be 10 minutes late and she wouldn't have dinner until 7:00pm or 8:00pm. That is completely unreasonable. The practices on Tuesday are out of the question since I am at work and Lillianna has a babysitter!

I was absolutely pissed! My child has waited two damn years to play this sport and now she can't even do it! I went and spoke to the director and he said the times were changed by the church where they practice and there is nothing he can do. I tried to tell him how upsetting this was but he didn't seem to care as he refunded my $40. Lillianna took off her team t-shirt and returned it to her coach. I waited until I was in the car to burst into tears. I cried all the way home.

I feel like I let Lillianna down and I know she is disappointed with this turn of events. There is nothing that can be done....nothing.

I still can't believe it

Tomorrow will be the first Thursday of my babysitting job. I won't have to get up at 5am,drive 30 minutes to a job I hate and then listen to people complain for 4 hours.

Instead,I will wake up at 6:30am,get Lillianna up at 7am,get her ready for school and wait patiently until "A" arrives at 8:00am. When "A" arrives she will smile at me because after 2 days she already loves me. We'll snuggle and play and spend a lovely day together. She is a total joy.

Wednesday nights are always tough for me because there is so much to do after we get home from Lillianna's dance lesson:dinner,homework,clean up and anything else that needs to be done. I also try to make myself go to sleep early since 5am sneaks up pretty quickly in the morning. I can never fall asleep before 9:30pm.

Usually I can't sleep through the night because I am so stressed about going to work. I wonder how I'll sleep tonight since I'll have "A" instead of cranky patients all day tomorrow.

Have I mentioned that I really love this new job??

My best decision

I am so happy that I decided to babysit for "A". It is the best decision I could've made. Today was the first day and it was amazing. She is a happy and amusing child. In other words,she is exactly like Lillianna was at that age.....and still is. Speaking of my wonderful child,she is so good with "A". She said she feels like the older sister and in a way,she is,if only temporarily.

I ended the day being peed on in the doctor's office during Lillianna's well visit. (I never liked Huggies diapers..... because they leak!! I think I proved that point.) When "A" stood on my lap,Lillianna pointed out the wet spot on "A's" pants and on my pants. Then after I fed her dinner,she turned to hug me and got chicken,broccoli and carrots on my shirt. It was wonderful.

After she used me as a napkin,she stood on my legs and bounced. I made a funny face at her and bounced her too. This produced a huge belly laugh from "A". Her laugh caused me and Lillianna to burst out laughing. We repeated this cycle many,many times. It was so good or us all to laugh like that.

I can't wait to see her again tomorrow.

Lillianna's dream

Last night,Lillianna slept with me which Rich often lets her do on the weekends since I work the whole time. Around 2am,she started to cry in her sleep. I rubbed her head until she quieted down.

This morning,when I called home on my break,I told her what had happened and wondered what she had been dreaming about.

"Oh....that was because there was an ant on my cantaloupe."

I couldn't help it. I burst out laughing. Wouldn't you?

Of course I want a cookie!

I drove into Dunkin' Donuts drive-thru at 6am this morning. When I got up to the little speaker,the voice asked,"Would you like to try a cookie?"
I was stunned....A COOKIE????.....I LOVE cookies!!! Of course I want a cookie!!!!

Trying to speak as calmly as possible,I said,"Yes!Yes!!Yes!!! I will have one of every kind of cookie you have." I became so overjoyed at the thought of eating so many cookies,I forgot about my diabetes and continued with my order. "I would also like one of every kind of donut and munchkin and one of every kind of bagel with chive cheese on the side. Don't give me any of that low fat cheese either. I want all the fat possible!" Who cares about possibly getting pancreatitis again? Not me!

I just wanted to eat all the sweets and carbs that I had been missing in my life. I didn't care what happened to me.

"Would you like to try a cookie?" the voice asked me.
"No,thank you," I replied. "I'll have a medium iced coffee,black,no sugar,please."
I had packed my low fat cream and Splenda in my lunch box so that I could mix this myself when I got to work.

I really wanted the cookie,though.

In just a few days

Yesterday,I told my coordinator at work that it was my last Thursday until further notice,due to my new babysitting job. I'll still be there on Saturday but I'll be babysitting on Thursday so I can't work. He asked me to try to add in Friday instead.I told him I'd see how the first week went with babysitting and then I'd let him know. I could use the money but what price am I paying to be so stressed out?

I am really looking forward to meeting this sweet little girl. I found out today that at the very least,she will be living here with her grandmother until August so I will have her for 9 months. By the time her parents see her again,she and her 2 year old brother will be totally different children.

The 2 year old will be in my friend's home day care and the baby will be with me. We're going to take pictures of the children and I'll scrapbook them for the parents so that they won't miss out on everything. I could never leave my child for such a long time but I thank G-d every day that there are people in this country willing to fight for our rights and freedom. It takes a special kind of person to be in the military and sacrifice so much of their life for others. The least I can do is to take care of their baby while they are fighting for our country.

In just a few days,I will receive a little bundle of joy. I just can't wait.