I was watching t.v. in Tech Lube while the oil in my car was getting changed and the news came on. Apparently,moms are in an uproar because.....wait for it.....
Santa is too fat!!
Jolly old St.Nick needs a gastric bypass or a personal trainer. Moms do not think he is a good role model for the kiddies. So what if he eats a million cookies on Christmas Eve? He washes them down with milk and that's a healthy beverage. He's not swigging down a few brewskies or having a frappe at every house,now is he?
He works his butt off all year long. He puts everyone ahead of himself and he brings joy to the world. That's not an easy task especially in this day and age. He's probably a stress eater.....ahhhhhh....I can totally relate.
So what's the solution to Santa's round body? Call Jenny Craig? Liposuction? Lap band? Richard Simmons? A Dr.Phil intervention? Oh that would be hilarious.
"Santa.....you can not change what you do not acknowledge......you are over weight. You are not really jolly now are you?" For those of you who know Dr.Phil's lingo,this is what he would say.
I for one do not think Santa's weight is an issue. We will be leaving cookies and milk again this year. Maybe he'll eat the reindeer's carrots and feed the cookies to the reindeer. Then next year they'll be too damn fat to fly and no one will get any damn presents!!! Merry Freakin' Christmas!!
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