A few weeks before my 40th birthday in 2003, Rich told me that he didn't want to be married anymore because he was unhappy so he moved out. It was completely devastating to me and to our poor 5 year old daughter. I will never get that picture out of my head. Lillianna was sitting on Rich's lap and she held his face in her hands and cried,"Why Daddy?....Why??" That memory still makes me sick.
All marriages have their ups and downs. I don't know anyone with a fairytale marriage. So imagine my surprise when Lillianna and I came home after a fun dinner at her favorite Chinese restaurant and we saw Rich's car in the lot. He was supposed to be at his night job until 10pm.
The first thing I noticed was that the end of the table where Rich paints his soldiers was empty. I asked him why he put his stuff away. He gave a vague answer but I had a bad feeling in the pit of my stomach. Finally he said he was moving out.
Just like that...he wasn't happy and he was leaving. When he moved back in 5 years ago he had said that he would never ever leave me and Lillianna again but lo and behold he lied.
So in the end I told him to just go tonight. I didn't want him here anymore. He left.
Now it's just me and Lillianna and that's just fine with me.
Thursday, July 31, 2008
Sunday, July 20, 2008
Bridezillas
Lillianna is absolutely fascinated by the show Bridezillas. Sometimes I watch it because I just don't believe that there are brides out there who act like complete bitches before,during and after their wedding. It always kills me when the bride spends millions of dollars and the groom just shrugs and says,"Whatever you want,sweetie." Who are these men who take such crap from their future wife?
I got married almost 14 years ago and my wedding was nothing like the ones I have seen on this show. On today's episode,the bride was helping pick out her maid of honor's dress. She admitted that she wanted to find the ugliest dress for her m.o.h. because she didn't want anyone to out shine her on her special day.
I took my bridesmaids and my maid of honor (my dear sister,Kara)to several bridal shops so that they could pick out whatever dress they liked best. I had been to a wedding years ago and the bridesmaids had an off the shoulder gown and they spent all night pulling up their dress so that their breasts wouldn't pop out. That seemed like a lot of work to me so I wanted my bridal party to be beautiful and comfortable. I never worried about someone out shining me. I just wanted everyone to be happy.
In Bridezillas today, the bride's future mother-in-law was a florist and she was going to do all the flowers. The bride wanted the most expensive flowers that were out of season. She also wanted crystals hanging from the flowers. Her poor MIL was horrified and told her it would look like a trailer park wedding.The bride yelled,"I've been dreaming of my wedding since I was 4 years old!! This is what I want!" I handled my florist a bit differently.
Mom and Kara came with me on the first meeting with my florist. She began showing us books and asking about what I had in mind. I asked her,"Have you done any other weddings before mine?" She laughed and said she had been doing this for many years. Handing her a piece of the bridesmaids dresses I said,"Great! This is what my bridesmaids will be wearing. Create something that will look pretty with this."
She was stunned and asked if I had any ideas. I said,"I have nothing in mind. I don't know anything about flowers and since you do,I'm leaving it in your hands." She thought I was very easy going. My flowers were absolutely gorgeous!
We got married at the same place where our reception was held and when I met with the woman in charge of the hall she asked me what kind of linens I wanted. Again,I showed her my bridesmaid's dress and said,"Since you've done this before,do whatever you think will be best. I have no idea about color schemes." She was thrilled and the end result was perfect.
The only thing that caused a controversy was the music. Mom insisted on a live band and I wanted a DJ. I hate live bands at a wedding. I can't ever recognize the tune until it's too late. With a DJ, everything sounds the way it's supposed to. I stood my ground and in the end Mom said if I had to have a DJ then she would find the best one for me.....and she did.
I don't know why these women enjoy being a bridezilla. I would be horrified and embarrassed if I acted like that. Well,I guess that's what makes great t.v. No one would watch if the bride was sweet and easy going.
I got married almost 14 years ago and my wedding was nothing like the ones I have seen on this show. On today's episode,the bride was helping pick out her maid of honor's dress. She admitted that she wanted to find the ugliest dress for her m.o.h. because she didn't want anyone to out shine her on her special day.
I took my bridesmaids and my maid of honor (my dear sister,Kara)to several bridal shops so that they could pick out whatever dress they liked best. I had been to a wedding years ago and the bridesmaids had an off the shoulder gown and they spent all night pulling up their dress so that their breasts wouldn't pop out. That seemed like a lot of work to me so I wanted my bridal party to be beautiful and comfortable. I never worried about someone out shining me. I just wanted everyone to be happy.
In Bridezillas today, the bride's future mother-in-law was a florist and she was going to do all the flowers. The bride wanted the most expensive flowers that were out of season. She also wanted crystals hanging from the flowers. Her poor MIL was horrified and told her it would look like a trailer park wedding.The bride yelled,"I've been dreaming of my wedding since I was 4 years old!! This is what I want!" I handled my florist a bit differently.
Mom and Kara came with me on the first meeting with my florist. She began showing us books and asking about what I had in mind. I asked her,"Have you done any other weddings before mine?" She laughed and said she had been doing this for many years. Handing her a piece of the bridesmaids dresses I said,"Great! This is what my bridesmaids will be wearing. Create something that will look pretty with this."
She was stunned and asked if I had any ideas. I said,"I have nothing in mind. I don't know anything about flowers and since you do,I'm leaving it in your hands." She thought I was very easy going. My flowers were absolutely gorgeous!
We got married at the same place where our reception was held and when I met with the woman in charge of the hall she asked me what kind of linens I wanted. Again,I showed her my bridesmaid's dress and said,"Since you've done this before,do whatever you think will be best. I have no idea about color schemes." She was thrilled and the end result was perfect.
The only thing that caused a controversy was the music. Mom insisted on a live band and I wanted a DJ. I hate live bands at a wedding. I can't ever recognize the tune until it's too late. With a DJ, everything sounds the way it's supposed to. I stood my ground and in the end Mom said if I had to have a DJ then she would find the best one for me.....and she did.
I don't know why these women enjoy being a bridezilla. I would be horrified and embarrassed if I acted like that. Well,I guess that's what makes great t.v. No one would watch if the bride was sweet and easy going.
Saturday, July 12, 2008
The very first peanut butter and jam sandwich!
Kara called me today to tell me that she and Peter went to the beach. Her appetite has been off since SHE IS PREGNANT!!!! Yup...it's true. I feel like I've been waiting a century for this news but my sister is expecting her first baby 3 days after my birthday.....that's February 12th for people who don't know mine is the 9th.
I was stunned to learn that Kara has NEVER eaten a peanut butter sandwich in her 33 1/2 years but today she had some of Peter's peanut butter and seedless raspberry jam sandwich and she loved it.
Who knows....she may even try a peanut butter and fluff sandwich. That's what Lillianna lives on during the school year.
So hooray for Kara and her very first pb&j and hooray for me because I'm going to be an auntie!!! Well.....I guess Kara and Peter deserve the credit for that one.
I was stunned to learn that Kara has NEVER eaten a peanut butter sandwich in her 33 1/2 years but today she had some of Peter's peanut butter and seedless raspberry jam sandwich and she loved it.
Who knows....she may even try a peanut butter and fluff sandwich. That's what Lillianna lives on during the school year.
So hooray for Kara and her very first pb&j and hooray for me because I'm going to be an auntie!!! Well.....I guess Kara and Peter deserve the credit for that one.
Saturday, June 07, 2008
When do I get to have fun?
Chaos! That's the only word that describes my apartment right now. Nothing is in it's place and most things don't really have a place because the apartment isn't big enough to hold all our precious belongings. My side of the closet has 2 giant Rubbermaid bins that hold our Christmas stuff so I don't have any space on the floor. I refuse to pay $50 a month for storage for because it's way too expensive.
Lillianna is making a 4 bedroom house out of cardboard for a class project and all the paper,paints,cardboard and this giant house are taking up the living room and dining room. Thank goodness it's due on Monday. I'll be happy to get those rooms back to normal....whatever that means.
It's 90 something degrees out today and of course Lillianna wants to go to the pool. Neither one of us has a bathing suit. She outgrew all of hers and mine was kind of coming apart last year so I don't think I can wear it again. Meanwhile,the clutter in here is giving me an anxiety attack. I'm almost done with my bedroom and then I'm off to the kitchen. Somewhere along the way I have to shower.
If I can finish everything by 3pm then we'll go bathing suit shopping. I can't relax until this place looks half way decent. I look forward to the weekends and then I can't enjoy them. That sucks!
Lillianna is making a 4 bedroom house out of cardboard for a class project and all the paper,paints,cardboard and this giant house are taking up the living room and dining room. Thank goodness it's due on Monday. I'll be happy to get those rooms back to normal....whatever that means.
It's 90 something degrees out today and of course Lillianna wants to go to the pool. Neither one of us has a bathing suit. She outgrew all of hers and mine was kind of coming apart last year so I don't think I can wear it again. Meanwhile,the clutter in here is giving me an anxiety attack. I'm almost done with my bedroom and then I'm off to the kitchen. Somewhere along the way I have to shower.
If I can finish everything by 3pm then we'll go bathing suit shopping. I can't relax until this place looks half way decent. I look forward to the weekends and then I can't enjoy them. That sucks!
Tuesday, June 03, 2008
Burn Baby Burn!
The two fourth grade classes recorded poems and plays on a CD. Lillianna's teacher wanted to find a company that would make 50 copies of this CD so that each child could have one. I told Lillianna that I would make 25 and I could probably persuade another mom to do the other 25.
I started making them yesterday and after 3 hours tonight,they're all done. I burned all 50 of them myself. I'm exhausted. I never want to see another CD!
Lillianna is very proud of me. That makes it all worth it.
I started making them yesterday and after 3 hours tonight,they're all done. I burned all 50 of them myself. I'm exhausted. I never want to see another CD!
Lillianna is very proud of me. That makes it all worth it.
Saturday, May 31, 2008
I just wanted a phone without a cord
About 4 years ago our cordless phone broke. For some reason I bought an old fashioned phone with a cord to replace it. At first it was mounted on the wall but that didn't really work because I could only stand directly in front of the phone when I was using it. No movement was possible. That's when I pulled if off the wall and let it sit on the little table beneath it. This gave me about 3 feet of roaming room. Basically, I could reach the sink in the kitchen or possibly with a good stretch I could reach the microwave.
Yesterday, I went shopping for a new phone.
Lillianna and I went to Target and stood in the aisle where the phones were on display. They ranged in price from $20 to $200. The cheaper one looked cheap and the high end phone could basically mow your lawn if necessary.I just wanted a phone without a cord.
I read each description as I made my way down the aisle. One phone came with 3 handsets. You could use the phone as a child monitor or an intercom system through out the house. I'm in an apartment. What the heck do I need that for? My idea of a monitor is yelling in the next room,"Lil?" She yells,"What?" and I say,"Just checking." She's 10. That's good enough for me. As for an intercom,well,my voice travels.
I thought I could choose a phone without too much trouble but I was stumped. One phone had a built in answering machine but I already have voice mail through comcast. That would just confuse me. One phone was able to access the internet. I have a computer for that. I just want a phone that's a phone without a cord!!
Knowing that Rich was waiting for us in the car,I flagged down an employee who helped me choose my phone. It's just what I wanted. It does have a 411 Google button for information which I'm not too sure about but other than that it's a phone without a cord. Finally!
Yesterday, I went shopping for a new phone.
Lillianna and I went to Target and stood in the aisle where the phones were on display. They ranged in price from $20 to $200. The cheaper one looked cheap and the high end phone could basically mow your lawn if necessary.I just wanted a phone without a cord.
I read each description as I made my way down the aisle. One phone came with 3 handsets. You could use the phone as a child monitor or an intercom system through out the house. I'm in an apartment. What the heck do I need that for? My idea of a monitor is yelling in the next room,"Lil?" She yells,"What?" and I say,"Just checking." She's 10. That's good enough for me. As for an intercom,well,my voice travels.
I thought I could choose a phone without too much trouble but I was stumped. One phone had a built in answering machine but I already have voice mail through comcast. That would just confuse me. One phone was able to access the internet. I have a computer for that. I just want a phone that's a phone without a cord!!
Knowing that Rich was waiting for us in the car,I flagged down an employee who helped me choose my phone. It's just what I wanted. It does have a 411 Google button for information which I'm not too sure about but other than that it's a phone without a cord. Finally!
Friday, May 16, 2008
Little trampy pre-schoolers
Why did Beyonce go and create a clothing line for little tramps....I mean girls.
Have you seen the ads? check out this one.
Gonzo and Wendy Murphy were talking about this subject on WRKO this morning and I was stunned. Beyonce has created spandex,feathered boas and hoochie clothes for young innocent girls. Plus,she also has what every little girl should have....stilettos!
I want names of the mothers who are buying these clothes. Lillianna had a boa in her dress up box when she was younger and it could still be there but she doesn't tart herself up and wear it outside the home. I wouldn't allow it.
I don't even let her wear pants that have writing on the butt. She's ten. Don't be looking at my kid's butt!
I'm sure pedophiles are thanking Beyonce right now for supporting their cause. Go ahead and make the little ones look like adults. It's easier for the level 3 sex offenders to spot their prey.
I think this whole thing is pretty disgusting. Children should be children for as long as they can. If they choose to be a slut in their adult life then that is up to them. Any mother who buys this line of clothes for their precious little girl should be brought up on child abuse charges.
Have you seen the ads? check out this one.
Gonzo and Wendy Murphy were talking about this subject on WRKO this morning and I was stunned. Beyonce has created spandex,feathered boas and hoochie clothes for young innocent girls. Plus,she also has what every little girl should have....stilettos!
I want names of the mothers who are buying these clothes. Lillianna had a boa in her dress up box when she was younger and it could still be there but she doesn't tart herself up and wear it outside the home. I wouldn't allow it.
I don't even let her wear pants that have writing on the butt. She's ten. Don't be looking at my kid's butt!
I'm sure pedophiles are thanking Beyonce right now for supporting their cause. Go ahead and make the little ones look like adults. It's easier for the level 3 sex offenders to spot their prey.
I think this whole thing is pretty disgusting. Children should be children for as long as they can. If they choose to be a slut in their adult life then that is up to them. Any mother who buys this line of clothes for their precious little girl should be brought up on child abuse charges.
Wednesday, May 07, 2008
It's almost over
I'm looking forward to May 20th because by then we'll be done with Girl Scouts,dancing school and Hebrew school for the next 2 1/2 months. YAHOO!
May is always a busy month but this year seems even more hectic.
Today is Lillianna's dress lesson at dancing school. Tomorrow is her last day of Girl Scouts so they're having a pizza party and a magician. Tomorrow night is our Lions Club meeting right after Girl Scouts. Saturday is her dress rehearsal and Sunday is Mother's Day.
Next week isn't so bad but next weekend I work on Saturday and then the dance recital is Sunday. Monday is our last Hebrew class.....then it's May 20th!!!
Once Lillianna gets out of school in June my work schedule will be horrible but I can deal with it for the summer.....I think.
Gotta run now and pick Lillianna up from school!!
May is always a busy month but this year seems even more hectic.
Today is Lillianna's dress lesson at dancing school. Tomorrow is her last day of Girl Scouts so they're having a pizza party and a magician. Tomorrow night is our Lions Club meeting right after Girl Scouts. Saturday is her dress rehearsal and Sunday is Mother's Day.
Next week isn't so bad but next weekend I work on Saturday and then the dance recital is Sunday. Monday is our last Hebrew class.....then it's May 20th!!!
Once Lillianna gets out of school in June my work schedule will be horrible but I can deal with it for the summer.....I think.
Gotta run now and pick Lillianna up from school!!
Monday, April 21, 2008
What kind of illness is that?
Rich got the flu and he was generous enough to share it with me.I'm not sure I really meant it when I agreed to love him in sickness and in health. I ended up missing 4 days of work last week!
Other than being out on maternity leave 10 years ago and recovering after my attack of pancreatitis 2 1/2 years ago,I have never missed 4 days of work in one week in the 17 years that I've been at my job. I was very tired and my throat and ears hurt. The nurse put me on amoxicillin and said to rest. I couldn't stop sleeping. Every time I woke up I wanted to go back to sleep.
I finally felt better for the first time on Saturday and I'm getting better every day. I actually slept late this morning and then started cleaning. Of course since I cleaned so much I took a 2 hour nap in the late afternoon but at least I'll be ready for work on Wednesday. I have today and tomorrow off because Lillianna is on vacation.
I was so surprised how knocked out I felt. The last time I was this sick was the winter of 1987 when I lived in Israel. My temperature was 103 which is extremely high for me because I almost never go above 99 no matter how sick I am. I may have other symptoms but I rarely run a fever.
I was too sick to even drag my body to see the nurses on the kibbutz so one of my friends went to tell them what my symptoms were.My friend came back with blue Acamol which is the equivalent of Tylenol with Codeine. I loved those blue pills back then. The nurses thought Acamol could cure anything and I guess it kind of did.
So when she gave me the pills she said that the nurse told her I had INFLUENZA!
My mouth dropped open. "Influenza????" I croaked in my raspy voice. "Don't people die from Influenza?" I kept thinking it was the Bubonic plague even though I wasn't actually sure what that entailed.
I kept repeating the dreaded disease to try to make sense of my diagnosis,"Influenza......Influenza.....Influenza...." Then it finally hit me and I asked,"Oh....do you mean I have The Flu?" My friend who was from England and probably knew what the hell Influenza was and wondered why I was going insane just nodded. Phew! I was relieved to learn that I would survive this illness.
So....that was my last big illness......21 years ago....that is until last week. I hate being sick but at least I was told I had a virus and not something like Scurvy 'cuz that would really make me crazy.
Other than being out on maternity leave 10 years ago and recovering after my attack of pancreatitis 2 1/2 years ago,I have never missed 4 days of work in one week in the 17 years that I've been at my job. I was very tired and my throat and ears hurt. The nurse put me on amoxicillin and said to rest. I couldn't stop sleeping. Every time I woke up I wanted to go back to sleep.
I finally felt better for the first time on Saturday and I'm getting better every day. I actually slept late this morning and then started cleaning. Of course since I cleaned so much I took a 2 hour nap in the late afternoon but at least I'll be ready for work on Wednesday. I have today and tomorrow off because Lillianna is on vacation.
I was so surprised how knocked out I felt. The last time I was this sick was the winter of 1987 when I lived in Israel. My temperature was 103 which is extremely high for me because I almost never go above 99 no matter how sick I am. I may have other symptoms but I rarely run a fever.
I was too sick to even drag my body to see the nurses on the kibbutz so one of my friends went to tell them what my symptoms were.My friend came back with blue Acamol which is the equivalent of Tylenol with Codeine. I loved those blue pills back then. The nurses thought Acamol could cure anything and I guess it kind of did.
So when she gave me the pills she said that the nurse told her I had INFLUENZA!
My mouth dropped open. "Influenza????" I croaked in my raspy voice. "Don't people die from Influenza?" I kept thinking it was the Bubonic plague even though I wasn't actually sure what that entailed.
I kept repeating the dreaded disease to try to make sense of my diagnosis,"Influenza......Influenza.....Influenza...." Then it finally hit me and I asked,"Oh....do you mean I have The Flu?" My friend who was from England and probably knew what the hell Influenza was and wondered why I was going insane just nodded. Phew! I was relieved to learn that I would survive this illness.
So....that was my last big illness......21 years ago....that is until last week. I hate being sick but at least I was told I had a virus and not something like Scurvy 'cuz that would really make me crazy.
Friday, April 11, 2008
Wanna look thinner?.....buy this shirt!
I was looking in Wal-Mart for a couple of somewhat dressy tops to wear to the temple on Saturday morning services. Everything in the plus size section was for old ladies and women who wanted to look pregnant. I am not in either category.
I passed by a display of striped shirts. The tag on the shirts read,"This will make you look instantly thinner." I took a good look at the shirt and I figured out their thin secret. The stripes are so swirly,just looking at them made me dizzy and I had to look away. I started to squint to make the pain in my head go away. The shirts were blinding. Of course I'd look thinner in it. Who could look at me? It's like looking at the sun! I had to shield my eyes.
If someone tried to look at me it would be impossible for them to keep their eyes open. I'd be Twiggy in the swirly striped shirt! What a great sneaky technique. Blind them with stripes!! Maybe I'll just paint over my old shirts and attach neon letters. I'll be so thin then!
I passed by a display of striped shirts. The tag on the shirts read,"This will make you look instantly thinner." I took a good look at the shirt and I figured out their thin secret. The stripes are so swirly,just looking at them made me dizzy and I had to look away. I started to squint to make the pain in my head go away. The shirts were blinding. Of course I'd look thinner in it. Who could look at me? It's like looking at the sun! I had to shield my eyes.
If someone tried to look at me it would be impossible for them to keep their eyes open. I'd be Twiggy in the swirly striped shirt! What a great sneaky technique. Blind them with stripes!! Maybe I'll just paint over my old shirts and attach neon letters. I'll be so thin then!
Thursday, April 10, 2008
Chest pains
I had some chest pain and tingling down my left arm on Tuesday and it worried me. Since my hospitalization in 2005,every time I have some weird symptom I think this is the end. I was considering calling my pcp and canceling my hair appt to go see her but then the pain went away and I figured I'd be ok.
The pain had been happening all that day in work off and on and of course I don't want to die yet but denial is a fun place to be at times. So as I sat in the chair with color on my head,the pain and tingling returned. I called my pcp's office and was told she was on vacation. This was at 4:30pm and I wanted to get in before they closed although the color was still on my head! The secretary told me to call 911 and go to the hospital. I didn't want to do that.
When my hair was finished,my hairdresser Karen massaged some cream on my arm and back because I could feel a knot in my arm. Then she told me that my left shoulder was swollen. (I had my scrubs on so my shoulders were kind of poking out in the back and she could see the swelling.) I went home with Lillianna,had dinner and tried to ignore the symptoms that I figured were a pinched nerve or stress related.
Yesterday morning,Rich stayed home and took me to the doctor. I saw Allison who is a nurse that I have seen many times. I really like her. She said my back had knots and was really tight on the left side. She saw the swelling too. Before she came in the tingling had gone up the left side of my neck,face and head. I thought I was having a stroke.
Luckily it's all related to the muscles which is causing these problems. I'm on a muscle relaxer and I have to heat my back during the day. She told me to take yesterday and today off and I can go back tomorrow. I do feel much better today. The tingling is gone but the back pain is still there.
I have parent/teacher conferences at 2pm today and lunch with Lil and friends at 11:30am (early dismissal)so I didn't take the Flexoril. I need to drive and talk coherently and the Flexoril causes me to be tired and to sound drunk. I'll take a pill tonight!
As I was leaving I said to Allison,"Well....I'm glad I'm not dying!"
She smiled at me and said,"Not today."
For me....that was the best news I could've heard!
The pain had been happening all that day in work off and on and of course I don't want to die yet but denial is a fun place to be at times. So as I sat in the chair with color on my head,the pain and tingling returned. I called my pcp's office and was told she was on vacation. This was at 4:30pm and I wanted to get in before they closed although the color was still on my head! The secretary told me to call 911 and go to the hospital. I didn't want to do that.
When my hair was finished,my hairdresser Karen massaged some cream on my arm and back because I could feel a knot in my arm. Then she told me that my left shoulder was swollen. (I had my scrubs on so my shoulders were kind of poking out in the back and she could see the swelling.) I went home with Lillianna,had dinner and tried to ignore the symptoms that I figured were a pinched nerve or stress related.
Yesterday morning,Rich stayed home and took me to the doctor. I saw Allison who is a nurse that I have seen many times. I really like her. She said my back had knots and was really tight on the left side. She saw the swelling too. Before she came in the tingling had gone up the left side of my neck,face and head. I thought I was having a stroke.
Luckily it's all related to the muscles which is causing these problems. I'm on a muscle relaxer and I have to heat my back during the day. She told me to take yesterday and today off and I can go back tomorrow. I do feel much better today. The tingling is gone but the back pain is still there.
I have parent/teacher conferences at 2pm today and lunch with Lil and friends at 11:30am (early dismissal)so I didn't take the Flexoril. I need to drive and talk coherently and the Flexoril causes me to be tired and to sound drunk. I'll take a pill tonight!
As I was leaving I said to Allison,"Well....I'm glad I'm not dying!"
She smiled at me and said,"Not today."
For me....that was the best news I could've heard!
Monday, April 07, 2008
Clutter.....BE GONE!
My bedroom was depressing me. We don't have any storage space in this apartment so it always seems cluttered.
I have a beautiful collections of fairies on my bureau that I haven't seen for months. Every now and then I get a glimpse of a glittery fairy wing but they're basically buried under a thousand little papers,stray socks,bills and layers and layers of dust. Just typing the word made me sneeze!
Due to a car problem this morning I ended up not going in to work. The car is fine now but I took it as a sign that I was meant to find meaning in the chaos of my bedroom and clean it all up! That's just what I did.
Except for a small messy space,this room is 95% better than it was this morning. I love it!! My lovely fairies are all displayed on my bureau without dust weighing them down. I have always gotten such joy from looking at my fairies and now I can do it again.
Some time last year I created a meditation area on the night stand next to my side of the bed. I took everything off of it and draped my sheer pink scarf from my matron of honor dress from Kara's wedding across the top. I placed about 10 or 15 things that brought me joy on the table: A large green candle with an "R" on it that Kara gave me, little porcelain hands that are cupped and hold tiny stones, the baobab tree that Liane gave me which reminds us of The Little Prince, a book on friendship from Liane (in case you can't tell,Liane is my very best friend in the world!), a flat stone that Lillianna painted purple for me and so on.
Over the past few months,the objects have disappeared under clutter. Today,they reappeared!!! My room is still a bit dusty but it's so much less cluttered and I can enjoy it again! Sometimes,I just have to realize I'm worth the effort!!
I have a beautiful collections of fairies on my bureau that I haven't seen for months. Every now and then I get a glimpse of a glittery fairy wing but they're basically buried under a thousand little papers,stray socks,bills and layers and layers of dust. Just typing the word made me sneeze!
Due to a car problem this morning I ended up not going in to work. The car is fine now but I took it as a sign that I was meant to find meaning in the chaos of my bedroom and clean it all up! That's just what I did.
Except for a small messy space,this room is 95% better than it was this morning. I love it!! My lovely fairies are all displayed on my bureau without dust weighing them down. I have always gotten such joy from looking at my fairies and now I can do it again.
Some time last year I created a meditation area on the night stand next to my side of the bed. I took everything off of it and draped my sheer pink scarf from my matron of honor dress from Kara's wedding across the top. I placed about 10 or 15 things that brought me joy on the table: A large green candle with an "R" on it that Kara gave me, little porcelain hands that are cupped and hold tiny stones, the baobab tree that Liane gave me which reminds us of The Little Prince, a book on friendship from Liane (in case you can't tell,Liane is my very best friend in the world!), a flat stone that Lillianna painted purple for me and so on.
Over the past few months,the objects have disappeared under clutter. Today,they reappeared!!! My room is still a bit dusty but it's so much less cluttered and I can enjoy it again! Sometimes,I just have to realize I'm worth the effort!!
Thursday, April 03, 2008
What's cookin'?.......
......Rainbow chip cookies....that's what!
Today I am picking up Carly and Sarah from school since the girls have an extra Girl Scout meeting this week. Usually I'm at work until 4:30pm but I took the day off to go to school and view the puberty movie with 9 other moms. The 4th and 5th grade girls will be seeing it next week.
Since I knew I would be home all day I called Carly and Sarah's mom last week and asked if I could pick the girls up and then take them to their meeting. Usually Lillianna goes home on the bus with the girls and then Carly's mom drives them to the meeting. I pick up Lil and Carly after the meeting and Sarah is always off to soccer.
We only have about one hour at home after school before we have to leave but I wanted to have a yummy snack ready for them. They all love these cookies. I'm sure they'll be surprised.
Today I am picking up Carly and Sarah from school since the girls have an extra Girl Scout meeting this week. Usually I'm at work until 4:30pm but I took the day off to go to school and view the puberty movie with 9 other moms. The 4th and 5th grade girls will be seeing it next week.
Since I knew I would be home all day I called Carly and Sarah's mom last week and asked if I could pick the girls up and then take them to their meeting. Usually Lillianna goes home on the bus with the girls and then Carly's mom drives them to the meeting. I pick up Lil and Carly after the meeting and Sarah is always off to soccer.
We only have about one hour at home after school before we have to leave but I wanted to have a yummy snack ready for them. They all love these cookies. I'm sure they'll be surprised.
Tuesday, April 01, 2008
Friday night dinner
Lillianna and I went to Hebrew school last night and as always,we loved it. The temple has Shabbat services every Saturday morning and the first Friday of every month. This Friday there is a dinner after the services. I told Lillianna that I thought we should go Friday night and also on Saturday morning. She said okay although she wasn't thrilled because she is just learning to read Hebrew and she can't follow along in the prayer book.
I asked Seth,the cantor,if I could take home a prayer book to translate the prayers for Lillianna. He said to take it for as long as I needed it.
Seth had made a cd for Lillianna's friend Lauren and I made a copy of it. It has the whole service on it so that I could learn the tunes that they use. My temple used some different tunes so even though I know the words,the tune is unfamiliar to me.
Tonight,with the cd playing in the background,I wrote the transliteration for the prayers. For example our most important prayer is called The Sh'mah and I wrote it like this:
Sh'mah yisrael
Adonai elohaynoo
Adonai echad
That way,Lillianna can still sing along with us in Hebrew. It took me over an hour to type it all up and I still have 3 more to do before Friday but I think she's going to like services more now that she can participate.
I am so glad we are joining this temple in September. The people are just wonderful.
I asked Seth,the cantor,if I could take home a prayer book to translate the prayers for Lillianna. He said to take it for as long as I needed it.
Seth had made a cd for Lillianna's friend Lauren and I made a copy of it. It has the whole service on it so that I could learn the tunes that they use. My temple used some different tunes so even though I know the words,the tune is unfamiliar to me.
Tonight,with the cd playing in the background,I wrote the transliteration for the prayers. For example our most important prayer is called The Sh'mah and I wrote it like this:
Sh'mah yisrael
Adonai elohaynoo
Adonai echad
That way,Lillianna can still sing along with us in Hebrew. It took me over an hour to type it all up and I still have 3 more to do before Friday but I think she's going to like services more now that she can participate.
I am so glad we are joining this temple in September. The people are just wonderful.
Saturday, March 29, 2008
Say Cheese!
Yesterday my furry nephew,Cody,turned 2. Today Kara threw him a little birthday party with her 2 step daughters,Lena and Bella and me and Lillianna. I guess not everyone throws a party for their chocolate lab but Cody is Kara's one true love (sorry Peter) and damn it,he was getting a party.
Last night Lena slept over here and I had the girls make chocolate covered strawberry marshmallows and chocolate dog bones and paw prints. I had the dog bone mold from Lillianna's Scooby Doo birthday and the paw prints from her Blue's Clues birthday several years ago. We put together a little chocolate platter to bring to Cody's party in honor of his special day.
When it came time for cake,Kara commanded Cody to sit in the dining room chair so that he was close to his birthday cake on the table. Cody is no lap dog although he will sit in your lap when you tell him too. He is an 80 pound bear!
So there we were all gathered around the big dining room table and Kara had me and the 3 girls stand around Cody so that she could get a picture...well several pictures. He was really a good sport about all this. I asked Kara if she wanted me to take a picture of her with her "baby" and she did.
What made me think I was smart enough to use a digital camera? Kara and the kids were hugging Cody and smiling at me as I attempted to push a button.
"Hold it down!" Kara instructed. I did. The screen went blank. Kara gave me a pitiful look and asked,"You shut it off,didn't you?" I said I did.
Then she told me to put it back on and hold the other button down. Oh...well why didn't she say that in the first place? I got them all in focus again and pushed the other button. Nothing happened. Kara yelled,"Hold it down!" I did. Something flashed. I pushed again. Flash flash. By that time Kara was just shaking her head at me and I burst into a fit of laughter. Then we were all laughing. In the end I think Lillianna took the picture.
The kids left the dining room and Kara decided she hadn't taken enough pictures of the chocolates. She put 2 big milk chocolate dog bones on the white frosted cake and took a picture. As they were lying there I said,"They kind of look like penises." She laughed and said,"You're right....they do!" When she removed them,the chocolate penises were covered in white frosting. I'll spare you Kara's comment about that.
So all in all,Cody had a very happy birthday and the day was filled with sugar and fun!
Last night Lena slept over here and I had the girls make chocolate covered strawberry marshmallows and chocolate dog bones and paw prints. I had the dog bone mold from Lillianna's Scooby Doo birthday and the paw prints from her Blue's Clues birthday several years ago. We put together a little chocolate platter to bring to Cody's party in honor of his special day.
When it came time for cake,Kara commanded Cody to sit in the dining room chair so that he was close to his birthday cake on the table. Cody is no lap dog although he will sit in your lap when you tell him too. He is an 80 pound bear!
So there we were all gathered around the big dining room table and Kara had me and the 3 girls stand around Cody so that she could get a picture...well several pictures. He was really a good sport about all this. I asked Kara if she wanted me to take a picture of her with her "baby" and she did.
What made me think I was smart enough to use a digital camera? Kara and the kids were hugging Cody and smiling at me as I attempted to push a button.
"Hold it down!" Kara instructed. I did. The screen went blank. Kara gave me a pitiful look and asked,"You shut it off,didn't you?" I said I did.
Then she told me to put it back on and hold the other button down. Oh...well why didn't she say that in the first place? I got them all in focus again and pushed the other button. Nothing happened. Kara yelled,"Hold it down!" I did. Something flashed. I pushed again. Flash flash. By that time Kara was just shaking her head at me and I burst into a fit of laughter. Then we were all laughing. In the end I think Lillianna took the picture.
The kids left the dining room and Kara decided she hadn't taken enough pictures of the chocolates. She put 2 big milk chocolate dog bones on the white frosted cake and took a picture. As they were lying there I said,"They kind of look like penises." She laughed and said,"You're right....they do!" When she removed them,the chocolate penises were covered in white frosting. I'll spare you Kara's comment about that.
So all in all,Cody had a very happy birthday and the day was filled with sugar and fun!
Friday, March 28, 2008
My body is smarter than I am
No matter what I do,I can't fool my body. If I over carb,my blood sugar goes up whether I think it will or not. I guess I keep hoping my body will give me the benefit of the doubt and keep my blood sugar in a good range. How did I think that would happen?
Yesterday I toasted a whole grain bagel,slapped some 1/3 less fat cream cheese on it,grabbed my cup of coffee and ran out the door to bring Lillianna to school before eating my breakfast on the 30 minute drive to work. Two hours after eating, my blood sugar was 155. Of course it was. I over carbed and I knew it. Who was I really trying to fool?
After talking to a newly diagnosed diabetic yesterday I realized that I was once newly diagnosed too. My focus was to get myself into a healthy range and I did. That time passed and I got lazy. I gained some weight back and went into denial about food. If I want it I eat it and hope my sugar will be okay.I'm not only lazy but really stupid.
There was a guy on the radio yesterday talking about life changes. He said not to cut out all things that are yummy but just to cut down a bit and the weight would come off slowly. That would be something I could stick to.
This morning,I toasted half of the whole grain bagel and put peanut butter and sugar free jam on it. Two hours after eating,my sugar was 105...50 points lower than yesterday at the same time. Just by cutting down the carbs I could see a change. Honestly,after the half of bagel I was stuffed. I don't know how I ate the whole bagel yesterday. Well,that's not true....I know I eat without any thought. That's part of my problem.
I can't pledge that I'm going to make smart decisions every day but I'm sure going to try to make smarter decisions than I have in the past year.
Yesterday I toasted a whole grain bagel,slapped some 1/3 less fat cream cheese on it,grabbed my cup of coffee and ran out the door to bring Lillianna to school before eating my breakfast on the 30 minute drive to work. Two hours after eating, my blood sugar was 155. Of course it was. I over carbed and I knew it. Who was I really trying to fool?
After talking to a newly diagnosed diabetic yesterday I realized that I was once newly diagnosed too. My focus was to get myself into a healthy range and I did. That time passed and I got lazy. I gained some weight back and went into denial about food. If I want it I eat it and hope my sugar will be okay.I'm not only lazy but really stupid.
There was a guy on the radio yesterday talking about life changes. He said not to cut out all things that are yummy but just to cut down a bit and the weight would come off slowly. That would be something I could stick to.
This morning,I toasted half of the whole grain bagel and put peanut butter and sugar free jam on it. Two hours after eating,my sugar was 105...50 points lower than yesterday at the same time. Just by cutting down the carbs I could see a change. Honestly,after the half of bagel I was stuffed. I don't know how I ate the whole bagel yesterday. Well,that's not true....I know I eat without any thought. That's part of my problem.
I can't pledge that I'm going to make smart decisions every day but I'm sure going to try to make smarter decisions than I have in the past year.
Saturday, March 22, 2008
Why am I so tired?
The past two or three weeks have been hell for me. I'm totally exhausted every day. It doesn't matter how much sleep I get because I still wake up tired.
Usually after I get home from work and pick Lillianna up at school,I fall asleep on the couch for 2 hours before I make dinner. It's not that I'm just a little sleepy. I can't stay awake. I close my eyes for a second and two hours go by.
Today I had to shower and go food shopping but I kept falling asleep for 10 minutes or so and just when I thought I'd head into the shower,I'd have to nap again. I didn't shower until 4pm!
I googled the side effects of my blood pressure med that was increased from 10mg to 20mg several weeks ago and fatigue is one of them. I think I'll call my doctor on Monday. She had me take a blood test to check what kind of anemia I have but I never heard back from her. I think between the anemia and bp med increase I'm always one second away from napping. Not a good thing at all.
Usually after I get home from work and pick Lillianna up at school,I fall asleep on the couch for 2 hours before I make dinner. It's not that I'm just a little sleepy. I can't stay awake. I close my eyes for a second and two hours go by.
Today I had to shower and go food shopping but I kept falling asleep for 10 minutes or so and just when I thought I'd head into the shower,I'd have to nap again. I didn't shower until 4pm!
I googled the side effects of my blood pressure med that was increased from 10mg to 20mg several weeks ago and fatigue is one of them. I think I'll call my doctor on Monday. She had me take a blood test to check what kind of anemia I have but I never heard back from her. I think between the anemia and bp med increase I'm always one second away from napping. Not a good thing at all.
Thursday, March 20, 2008
A special kind of hell
I was just watching the news and once again they were talking about the abuse case of a local 7 year old boy. His mother's boyfriend burned his genitals with a cigarette,beat him with a belt and urinated on his head. According to the story,the boy told his mother who instructed him to keep this quiet.
Fortunately this boy reported the abuse to the school nurse and DSS was brought it. The mother and boyfriend are in custody.
My parents never hit me and Lillianna has never been hit. Who would hit their child?
I don't understand this at all and I probably never will.
I hug and kiss Lillianna a million times a day and she is always in my lap wanting to be snuggled. Today she had some aches and pains so I gave her some children's tylenol and I heated up my heating pad for her. She thanked me for taking care of her. I can't imagine not taking care of my child.
I hope there is a special kind of hell for child abusers.....I really do!
Fortunately this boy reported the abuse to the school nurse and DSS was brought it. The mother and boyfriend are in custody.
My parents never hit me and Lillianna has never been hit. Who would hit their child?
I don't understand this at all and I probably never will.
I hug and kiss Lillianna a million times a day and she is always in my lap wanting to be snuggled. Today she had some aches and pains so I gave her some children's tylenol and I heated up my heating pad for her. She thanked me for taking care of her. I can't imagine not taking care of my child.
I hope there is a special kind of hell for child abusers.....I really do!
Profiling
I was listening to talk radio this morning on the way to work and the topic was profiling at the airport. I never want to offend anyone but I'm tired of everyone trying to be politically correct. When it comes to airport safety I think profiling is a no-brainer.
I know that many groups feel that they are being harassed and singled out but here's the reality.....if a group of white Jewish moms in their mid 40s threaten the safety of the USA or the world then I would expect that security would pull me out of line and question me before letting me board my plane. I fit the profile.
Apparently there is some law suit going on in Israel about profiling and I think it's ridiculous. I've flown El-Al several times and the reason they haven't had their planes blown up is because of their meticulous security. There are a lot of people out to destroy Israel and the Israeli people and for the most part they belong to a certain group. I hope Israel continues to profile their airline passengers. It's been working so far!
I know that many groups feel that they are being harassed and singled out but here's the reality.....if a group of white Jewish moms in their mid 40s threaten the safety of the USA or the world then I would expect that security would pull me out of line and question me before letting me board my plane. I fit the profile.
Apparently there is some law suit going on in Israel about profiling and I think it's ridiculous. I've flown El-Al several times and the reason they haven't had their planes blown up is because of their meticulous security. There are a lot of people out to destroy Israel and the Israeli people and for the most part they belong to a certain group. I hope Israel continues to profile their airline passengers. It's been working so far!
A nice smooth shave?
Kara just got back from visiting Mom in Florida. They had a lot of fun even though Kara ran Mom ragged with all the activities that they did. I told Mom it serves her right for having such a young daughter! She has to learn to keep up.
I'm the low key type. Lillianna and I have been to visit Mom only twice in 10 years but our vacations don't include late nights. I think Lillianna could've stayed out late but I like to be in bed nice and early and then get up around 5am and have coffee on the balcony and watch the sun come up. Kara is just getting home when the sun comes up.
One day during Kara's visit,Mom came out of the shower and told Kara that she used her razor to shave her legs because hers was so dull it wouldn't even work. Kara said okay and didn't think much about it. Later that day at the beach,Mom looked at her legs and said,"Wow! I missed a lot when I shaved." Kara looked at Mom's legs and asked,"Did you take the white plastic covering off the razor before you used it?"
Mom asked,"What cover?"
After the two of them calmed down from their fit of hysterical laughter,Mom realized she shaved with the plastic cover on. She probably should've just braided the hair on her legs! When they got home,Kara checked to see if Mom's dull razor had a plastic cover on it too. Nope....but the blade was upside down. That's why it didn't work.
Once again I asked Mom,"If you ever have any memory problems how the hell am I going to know?????" That just made Mom laugh. I can only shake my head.
Thank goodness she'll be home in just a few weeks. I love the six months when she lives in Massachusetts. That woman just cracks me up! I'll have to check her legs out when she gets here!
I'm the low key type. Lillianna and I have been to visit Mom only twice in 10 years but our vacations don't include late nights. I think Lillianna could've stayed out late but I like to be in bed nice and early and then get up around 5am and have coffee on the balcony and watch the sun come up. Kara is just getting home when the sun comes up.
One day during Kara's visit,Mom came out of the shower and told Kara that she used her razor to shave her legs because hers was so dull it wouldn't even work. Kara said okay and didn't think much about it. Later that day at the beach,Mom looked at her legs and said,"Wow! I missed a lot when I shaved." Kara looked at Mom's legs and asked,"Did you take the white plastic covering off the razor before you used it?"
Mom asked,"What cover?"
After the two of them calmed down from their fit of hysterical laughter,Mom realized she shaved with the plastic cover on. She probably should've just braided the hair on her legs! When they got home,Kara checked to see if Mom's dull razor had a plastic cover on it too. Nope....but the blade was upside down. That's why it didn't work.
Once again I asked Mom,"If you ever have any memory problems how the hell am I going to know?????" That just made Mom laugh. I can only shake my head.
Thank goodness she'll be home in just a few weeks. I love the six months when she lives in Massachusetts. That woman just cracks me up! I'll have to check her legs out when she gets here!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)