Wednesday, June 27, 2007

If you need an excuse to get out of work.....

Some of my co-workers come up with really odd reasons why they can't come in to work or why they have to leave early. I thought I had heard them all....until today.

One woman,I'll call her Miranda since we don't work with anyone who has that name,complained of a stomach ache first thing this morning. I had pre-menstrual cramps that could kill a person but I popped 6oo mg of ibuprofen and I felt fine. I'd never go home "sick" with period cramps. Damn....the majority of the company is made up of women. If we all called in with that excuse no one would ever be at work!

So,Miranda had this stomach ache and then about an hour later her name was crossed off the schedule and someone said she went home. One of Miranda's family members also works with us and she confessed the real reason that Miranda went home.
She had to poop and she didn't want to do it at work.

Someone asked if she was coming back after she pooped. Her family member told us no. One of my co-workers shook her head and said,"That must be some dump she's taking!" We all fell over in a fit of laughter. In fact,we joked about it all day. Everyone agreed that pooping at work wasn't our first choice but we've all done it and then used the air freshener to make it nice and flowery for the next person. We're all human and we all poop! We can't go home every time we have to poop.

One woman said,"I feel a little flatulence coming on....I think I'd better go home!"
Thank goodness we all have a sense of humor or we could've been really bitter. Maybe I'll use that for tomorrow.I'll call my coordinator and say, "Ya...hi...I'm wicked bitter about yesterday and I can't come to work today!" Nah....I'd never do it. I'm too responsible.

Have you ever left work to go home to poop? What is the worst excuse you ever used to get out of work?

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