All day on the couch

Sometime at the end of last week,I got sick. My nose was congested and I felt really run down. I guess working for Kara for 1 1/2 weeks,still working last weekend at one of my jobs, celebrating Lillianna's birthday at my mom's on Tuesday,participating in Walk Your Child To School Day on Wednesday at 7am and throwing Lillianna's sleep over party on Friday,just got the best of me.

All the children got picked up by 11:30am yesterday and I got to work at 1:00pm as scheduled. I was exhausted and more congested than the day before. Talking non-stop on the phone for 6 hours wore me down. The people I was speaking to had a hard time hearing me when my voice cracked and no amount of hot tea relieved my throat.

By the end of my shift,I knew there was no way I could go in for 8 hours today. My throat couldn't take it and I knew I had to rest. Unfortunately,I always feel guilty when I have to call in sick to a job. I feel like I've let everyone down especially if we are short staffed,which we are.

My doctor always tells me to be careful with my health since my diabetes diagnosis last year. I do try to take care of myself so I decided not to push it and just relax today.

I slept until 8:40am which was better than if I had gone to work and had to wake up at 4:30am. I spent the whole day in my jammies and lying on the couch. I alternated between watching a marathon of The A-Team on TV Land and napping. I also had to endure the painful teasing of my husband who mocked me for watching The A-Team.

I finally got off the couch at 4:30pm and started making my cure for everything...home made chicken soup! Tomorrow is Columbus Day and Lillianna is home from school so it will be another resting day for both of us. I really need it!

In just 20 minutes.....

......14 little 8 and 9 year olds will be coming to Lillianna's sleep over party.
Did I mention we live in a 2 bedroom apartment?

Some have called me brave. Others have called me insane. I'll let you know which is the best description tomorrow morning if I survive it all.

We have 6 Papa Ginos pizzas,fried ravioli and cinnamon sticks arriving at 6:45pm.
Lillianna picked out Brother Bear 2 and Chicken Little for tonight's entertainment.
Each child will decorate 2 Funfetti cupcakes:one to eat here and one to take home.
It's kind of a cake and a craft all in one. Every time I plan a craft we run out of time. Everyone loves a craft you can eat,right? So this is the perfect thing to do.

I bought a ton of microwave popcorn to go along with the movies and a pound of butter since many of them love their popcorn dripping in fat. I'm not their nutritionist or their mom so I let them have what they want. Hey,it's a party!

Tomorrow morning,I have cinnamon buns planned for breakfast with plain,vanilla,chocolate or strawberry milk. I made out little lists with everyone's name on it so that Lillianna and one of her friends can play waitress and tell me what kind of milk everyone wants. They get to serve it too! Somehow,they think that is lots of fun.

I'm down to 13 minutes! They'll be here any minute.
Wish me luck.

(This is Lillianna's 4 birthday sleep over and if I must confess,I love these parties. If there is anything more sweet or innocent than little giggling girls,I don't know what it is!)

Happy Birhday??

I'm known for being a spelling fanatic. I know it's not a big deal in the scheme of life but spelling mistakes annoy me.

This morning,Rich and I decorated the apartment for Lillianna's party tonight. After Rich went to work,I looked around to see how beautiful it all looked and that's when I noticed it. The HAPPY BIRTHDAY banner was missing a "T". What the heck was
HAPPY BIRHDAY???

It's too late to buy a new one but I wasn't too pleased with that banner. I wonder if anyone will notice or care about it but me.

Walk Your Child To School Day

Yesterday,was Walk Your Child To School Day. In the good weather,I usually try to walk Lillianna to school. It's only a 15 minute walk each way and it gives me and Lillianna time to chat. We both enjoy it. We leave the house at 7:45am and get there 5 minutes before the bell rings. It works out perfectly.

So,you can see why Rich was perplexed when I told him on Tuesday night that he had to drop me and Lillianna off at the fire station at 7am Wednesday morning.
"Why am I driving you a mile in the opposite direction from school so that you can walk to school at 7am?" he asked. It even sounded dumb to me when I responded,"It's Walk Your Child To School Day." I don't know why it was such a production but Lillianna wanted to do it and I figured,"Who needs sleep? I'll just get up at 5am instead of 6:30am and walk to school with her."

Rich's best bet is just not to question me when it comes to things I do for Lillianna. The school made a huge deal out of walking to school but we do that as often as we can without prompting from the school. I know a lot of parents work and maybe just put their kid on the bus so to them,it was a novelty. I'm for anything that brings parents closer to their children....even if it's just for a few minutes.

Lillianna and I arrived at 7am and she joined her friends,Carly and Hannah so that they could walk together. Hannah's dad,John, and I were the last in line for group #1 which left the fire station at 7:15am. Group #2 would be leaving at 7:30am.
Since we were at the end,John and I got to carry signs to warn drivers that there were children walking. Remember in the good old days when kids just walked to and from school without the aide of signs? It seems like a million years ago.

When we got to school,there was a booth outside where you could take oranges,apples and bottled water. Just as I was peeling Lillianna's stubborn orange,my cell phone rang from Kara's office. With juice dripping down my arm,I answered the phone. It wasn't even 8am yet! Who needed a mortgage at that hour?

At 8am,Rich called and asked if I wanted him to pick me up. I was sticky and congested and had already walked a mile so I gratefully agreed to have him pick me up.

By the time I got home from work,picked Lillianna up at dancing school and made dinner,I was exhausted. I fell asleep at 8:30pm.

Did you have Walk Your Child To School Day in your child's school?

Happy 9th Birthday Lillianna Rose!

Today,my baby is 9 years old......nine......It's hard to believe that so many years have passed since the day she was born.

This morning I woke up at 5am and jumped in the shower. After I was dressed and just about to do my hair,I heard Lillianna's little voice speaking from the darkness of her room,"In case you were wondering.....I'm UP!"

She brought her birthday basket and presents into our bedroom and we attempted to wake Rich up for the big opening event of the century. She got lots of fun stuff.
I think her favorite presents were the 4 pair of dangle earrings I bought her and her pink winter coat with Cheetah fur on it. She is a big fan of The Cheetah Girls.

I'm hoping she'll write about this sometime this week. I love when she writes.

So,to my precious little daughter who I love more than anything in this entire world.....HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!

The night before Lillianna's birthday

I got home from work at 6:15pm. Mom made us a delicious chicken dinner so me,Rich and Lil sat down as a family and ate a meal together. This doesn't happen very often.

At 7:15pm,I started baking Funfetti cupcakes and wrapping birthday presents.
I finished at 10:00pm and then it was time to frost 36 cupcakes for school tomorrow.(27 classmates plus the principal,Lillianna's college student book buddy, teachers and probably the school nurse.)

It is now 11pm and I am going to sleep. I have to be up at 5am.
Birthdays are exhausting!

Why this day is important

October 2nd......What an interesting date.

When I went for my first ob/gyn check up in February 1997,Nannette,my midwife,told me that my baby would be due on October 2nd. I nearly fell out of the stirrups and onto the floor. How could this be? How could two important events happen on the exact same date?

She asked me why I looked so stunned and I said,"I met my husband on October 2nd in 1993. I can't believe our baby is due on the same day. What are the odds?"
(Ok,clearly the odds were 1 in 365 but still....it was still amazing.)

October 2, 1993 is the date that Rich and I have inscribed in our wedding bands.We were married on November 5th of the following year but the way that we looked at it was the wedding was the date of our really big party but October 2nd was the truly important day....the day we met and our lives changed forever.

October 2,1997 also changed our lives forever. It was exactly on my 40 week due date that I went into labor. On October 3rd at 4:59am,Lillianna made her appearance into our lives and our world has never been the same.

Happy 13th anniversary to my dear husband who has put up with a lot of my bitchiness lately. There is no one else in this entire universe that I would want to be married to in spite of my recent threat to take the child and leave the country and go back to Israel.

Happy almost birthday to our precious daughter,Lillianna Rose. This is your very last day of being 8! Wait 'til you see what Daddy and I bought you.......Just one more day!

Candy issues

Lillianna is having candy issues. You can read about it at Lillianna's Place.

Learning to be assertive

This post was published over at DotMoms today.

Nineteen years ago today....

It's just too unbelievable to admit that my dad has been gone for nineteen years. Kara has been without him longer than she was with him since he died right before her 13th birthday. I was 24 and still felt I was too young to lose a parent.

Kara emailed me last night from her honeymoon and said she couldn't believe it was nineteen years. That amount of time seems like forever. Things have never been the same since he died. We've never been the same.

I felt like I really needed to write about that day,today. I don't have too much to add to this,which really tells the complete story but here is what I remember.

It was a Tuesday morning around 11:00am. The phone rang and it was my Uncle Robert,Daddy's brother. He worked side by side with my father in the bakery where Dad was the manager. Uncle Robert asked to talk to my mother but I said she was out shopping. Later,I learned that Mom was shopping for a black skirt for no reason at all. Kind of creepy.

Anyway,Uncle Robert said to tell Mom to get to Boston City Hospital as soon as she could because my dad was sick. He didn't say more.
A while later,Mom came home and I gave her the message. We weren't really worried because "sick" doesn't mean "dead." I don't even remember what we were thinking was wrong with him.

A few minutes later,Uncle Robert called and all he said was,"Let me talk to your mother." I asked him what was wrong. He wouldn't tell me. I wouldn't give Mom the phone until he did. He said he wouldn't. I guess I thought it was going to be bad news and by then,I suppose I knew what the news was. By not giving Mom the phone,we'd never have to hear it,right?

Tears were already streaming down my face when I handed her the receiver. I don't remember how she reacted or what she said or did next but I remember walking out of the kitchen and into the living room and screaming! Just screaming. Then I fell on the living room rug and my teal shoe went sailing across the room as it slipped off my foot.

Eventually,Papa came home from work and I sat at the kitchen table talking to him,trying to make sense out of all of this. That's when I had my very first anxiety attack and I couldn't breathe. Papa took me outside with a brown paper bag and helped me to breathe again. The tears never stopped.

Mom's friend,Rozie,took me aside and told me to "stop it" because I was upsetting my mother. I just stayed by Papa's side for a very long time and tried to stop crying but I couldn't.

At some point,Mom said people had to be notified and she gave me the phone book and told me who to call. Since it was a Tuesday,most people were at work so I got to leave a cheery message like this:
"Hi Bev and Sherm.This is Robin. I just wanted to let you know that my father just died. Okay....talk to you soon.Bye"

I went into some psychotic robot-like state and made all the calls in a sing-songy voice. I didn't even cry until all the calls were made. Then I went back to snuggle Papa.

Meanwhile,my 12 year old sister,was in school,completely oblivious to all of this. Mom sent her brother,Louis,to pick Kara up and tell her the news. He was,afterall,a high school guidance counselor and could handle this. According to Kara who says we totally did the wrong thing that day,this meeting did not go well.

Uncle Louis pulled the car over a block from our house and said something like,"Kara,your father is very sick. Your father is dead." Kara just glared at him and said,"Take me home!"

When I saw her walk in the door I ran to her and hugged her. She pulled away and through clenched teeth said,"Don't touch me!"

I don't remember much after that. People came to visit. Everyone said they were sorry. Of course they should be sorry. MY FATHER DIED!! I hated everyone and resented their very presence in my house.

Somehow we all survived and I suppose we came out stronger than ever before. To tell you the truth,I'd rather be weaker and still have my father here with us. I think we all would.

Tired of being a bitch

You wouldn't think I'd be tired of being a bitchy,disgruntled and petty wife since it comes so easily to me, but I am. I'm really tired of it. It takes so much energy away from the things I want to enjoy and it thoroughly exhausts me. I'm sure it hasn't made Rich's life a bowl of cherries,either. Wait....he hates cherries.....ok,let's say I haven't made his life a bag of circus peanuts.

I try not to nag and be a huge bitch because who wants to live with that? I sure don't. I'm thrilled that Rich isn't that way. The past week and a half has been worse than usual and I wonder how long I can use PMS as an excuse.

If I could just stop worrying about money and everything else that is on my mind,maybe I wouldn't be such a bitch.....It's just a theory.

Hot delivery guys

Kara and Peter's office is right in the center of town. It is on a fairly small but unbelievably busy street where cars,buses,trucks and ambulances are constantly in motion. There are tons of businesses on this street which means there are many UPS,Fed-Ex and Poland Springs deliveries.

For some reason,these guys are always hot looking. Is it from lifting heavy packages and gallons of water all day long?

I know that "Doug" the IPS driver on King Of Queens is no stud muffin but "Deacon" sure is.

I wonder what the screening process is to get hired at one of these places. Do they all have to be "hot?"

My temporary new job

Well,here I am....day one at Kara and Peter's mortgage company. They flew off to their honeymoon this morning and I am in charge....whatever that entails.

I like it here,I really do. The callers are either people looking to purchase a home or re-finance or they are calling from a bank,lawyer's office or some other type of financial institution. They are all professional and so far,no one has been rude.

I am here for 8 work days and I am hoping I can handle anything that comes in. I will be emailing Peter at the end of every day if there are things he has to address. Other than that,Kara has trained me to do various things that may come up and I promised to do my best. They are just grateful to have me here so that they didn't have to close the office,which would be very bad for business.

Even though the commute here is horrible....way too much traffic.....I managed to arrive in 35 minutes which is only 5 more minutes than it takes to get to my other 2 jobs.

I hope I don't get too attached to this job. I may never want to leave it.

The Brownie update

After all of this craziness,I finally got a call today that Lillianna is in the troop that I wanted to get her into. Three of her good friends are in this troop and apparently,they go on all kinds of fun trips.

I got an email from the troop leader today explaining about this huge trip to New York in June. It said each girl has to sell an average of 400 boxes of cookies! Whatever we don't sell,we have to pay out of pocket for the trip which is $400 per mom and daughter. Where the heck am I gonna come up with that kind of money? We have never come close to selling that amount of cookies.

If you live in my area,please,oh please by a box of cookies from my child who is desperate to go on this trip.....400 boxes......are they serious?

How many boxes of cookies does your Brownie have to sell?

What I wish I had said

I am really burnt out of ophthalmology. The writing was really on the wall this past Thursday when I had one bitchy,obnoxious,whining patient after the next. I wanted to run out the front door and never look back. Sixteen years at one job is way too long.

Here are the comments I got from patients and what I wish I had said to them.

1. I'm not really good at this kind of thing.

It doesn't take a brain surgeon to keep your eyes open and read a chart!

2. Can you tell if my eyes have changed?

What am I,psychic? Why don't I wait until the exam is actually done before I give you an answer.

3. No,I'm not diabetic. I take pills for that.

If you take diabetes pills,guess what dipstick? You are diabetic!!

4. I didn't wear my hearing aide. Can you speak up?

No,I won't speak up. Stop living in denial that you are deaf as a haddock and just wear your hearing aide!

5. I don't really like people near my eyes!

That's too freakin' bad. You're at an EYE doctor's office for your own health. Suck it up.
I don't like people near my vagina but I have an annual check up with my gynecologist! Stop whining!

I really need to quit this job!

My faithful husband

The other night,Rich surprised me and took me out to dinner while Lillianna was at a sleep over. We had a lovely meal and I appreciated the effort that he made. We're really trying to add some romance back in our relationship.

After dinner,I mentioned that I had watched an episode of Dr.Phil earlier in the day and a husband cheated on his wife because she didn't clean the house. My loving husband declared,"I'd never cheat on you. I don't have the energy."

I looked at this man who I have been married to for almost 12 years and my mouth dropped open. In my most disbelieving voice I asked,"You mean you wouldn't cheat on me because you're too damn lazy? That's the reason?.....You're supposed to say you wouldn't cheat because I am the love of your life!"

Shocked by his own stupidity,Rich said,"No no! It came out wrong. That's not what I meant!"

Well,there's the key to a happy marriage.....a husband who is too damn lazy to cheat!

Try to remember my name

Writing the post about Kara and her new name reminded of this story.

About a year after I was married,Kara called me at work and left a message with one of the secretaries for me to call her back. The secretary gave me the message and said,"By the way,I thought you'd want to know that she asked for Robin G____."
I laughed. I hadn't been Robin G_____ for a year.

I called Kara back and got her answering machine. I left the following message.

Hi Kara.
This is your sister,Robin P____.
I'm not sure if you remember this but last November,Rich and I had a really big party and we invited our friends and family.
There was lots of food and dancing.

I wore a long,poofy white dress with a veil and Rich was in a snappy black ensemble.
You and some of my friends wore aqua and black velvet gowns. Sound familiar?

Well,during this ceremony,Rich and I said some mushy stuff to each other and gold jewelry was exchanged. At this time,I had a name change. I am no longer Robin G____.
Please try to remember that the next time you call.
Thank you.
Your sister,
Robin P_____.

When she called me back she was laughing and said,"Ya,ya. I get it!"

I just love that girl!

My funny sister

I went for my last training in Kara and Peter's office today. They will be off on their honeymoon next week and I will be handling things on my own. Kara had me fill out a form for her and it asked the loan officer's name so I put her name on it. Her new name.

When I was finished,she wanted to check it to make sure I didn't miss anything. When she looked at the sheet she gasped this horrible sounding breath. I couldn't imagine what I had done. I hesitantly asked,"What's wrong? What did I do?"

She looked at the first line I had filled in for her.....her name.
"You wrote Kara T____," she shrieked. I frowned at her and said,"Ya. Isn't that what you're going by?" She looked up at me in confusion and surprise and asked,"So soon?" I laughed and said,"You've been married for four days!" She didn't seem to be able to process that information.

New brides......ya gotta love them.

All talk and no action

I guess that's the best way to describe me. There are so many things that I want to do and yet,I haven't done them. Why? What is stopping me? Asking myself that question is too revealing because it means I have to admit the truth....Again. I'm scared to death of failure. I am and always have been my own worst enemy.

Even as a child,if I got anything less than an A+,I'd be depressed. Mom and Dad were always pleased with my achievements but not me. I always thought I could've done better.I expect a lot from myself.

My dream is to be a writer. Everyone always tells me,"You are a writer. Just writing makes you a writer." I don't really agree with that. I've written one book and have tons of other ideas in my head but sending anything to a publisher means I have to face rejection. Am I up for that? I'm so sensitive. I cry at dog food commercials. How will I handle the "you suck" letter?

I'm not making any promises to myself but I'm hoping I get brave enough to take the next step...any step,very soon.

Should being a Brownie,be this difficult?

Two years ago,after several phone calls to the Girl Scouts of America in our area which resulted in leaving 5 voice mail messages for people who would not call me back, I gave up trying to get Lillianna into a Brownie troop in our town. The website referred me to the phone number,"If you know your party's extension....." Ya, well....I DIDN'T! I couldn't get a live person on the line.

The Boy Scouts had a recruiting table at Lillianna's open house at school but nothing for the girls. I approached the leader and he referred me to the Girl Scout number that I had already called. Everywhere I went was a dead end. Maybe if I had known the secret handshake.....?

In the end,I signed her up for a troop 2 towns away. My friend,Janet was one of the troop leaders and her daughter,Emily was in that troop. Lillianna loved Brownies these past two years but now,Emily is a Girl Scout and Janet stopped being a troop leader. I decided to try to get Lillianna in a troop in our town.....Again.

I sent in the application with the $10 fee back in May. A few weeks ago,I got an email saying she was in a Wednesday troop at 6:00pm. On the application I specifically said she could not meet on Tuesdays or Wednesdays. I work Tuesday nights and Lillianna dances from 4:00pm-5:30pm on Wednesdays. If she joined that troop there would be no time to eat dinner or do her homework.

I emailed back and asked for Monday or Thursday. The reply came that she could be in the Monday troop. This morning,my friend,Sheri told me that she got word that Lillianna was in her troop with her daughter. I breathed a sigh of relief. It didn't even register in my brain when she said it was 1st and 2nd graders. I forgot Lillianna was in 3rd grade.

Sheri checked her roster for me this afternoon and said ALL the girls are 1st graders except the one second grader,her daughter,and the one and only 3rd grader,Lillianna. I was not happy. Lillianna will be nine in 2 weeks. The next oldest is Sheri's daughter who just turned seven. All the others must be 5 and 6.

Of course I sent another email today and the reply said that if enough people sign up tomorrow night,they may start another troop. I think it sucks.
This is ridiculous. Lillianna doesn't want to be with 1st graders and I don't blame her. She should be able to be with girls her own age.

I hate Brownies. It's too damn frustrating!

My sister's wedding!

Well she did it! Kara is officially married.
The celebration started Thursday night with the rehearsal dinner which was wonderful.
I got to catch up with two of her high school friends who are married to two of her bridesmaids. All the bridesmaids except one,grew up in our house. They didn't actually live with us but they hung out at our house all the time. I loved them all like little sisters. Both of the husbands,were partying teenage boys the last time I saw them. I hadn't seen them in about 14 years because I really don't see the girls that much. It was so fascinating to catch up.

The meal was delicious . The tables were set up in a square so that everyone could be seen. We all got up, one at a time, and said a few words after dinner. There was a lot of laughter and love.

Friday,Lillianna and I met Mom and Kara at 11am for manicures. Then we went to the florist for a look at the flowers. They were gorgeous. After that,we headed over to Bugaboo Creek for a delicious lunch. By that time,we were all exhausted and ready to check into the hotel for a nap.

By 4:00pm,Kara and I were snuggled up in bed watching t.v. with Lillianna in the middle. We fell asleep for a couple of hours and then got ready for dinner. At 7:00pm,Kara's friend/bridesmaid, Jessica met us at the hotel and joined us for dinner. We had a great dinner at T.G.I.Friday's at 8:30pm,which is late for me but right on time for Kara. By the end of the meal,Lillianna was almost asleep.

The whole week before the wedding,the weather forecast predicted rain,no rain,rain,no rain.....it made us crazy. It was an outside wedding!
Taking the situation into my own hands,I prayed to Daddy,Nana and Papa. "Your baby is getting married. PLEASE do not let it rain." I prayed every day.
The weather was warm,sunny and absolutely lovely.

Kara looked gorgeous. She is always beautiful but yesterday.....wow....I can't even describe how she looked. As she walked down the aisle,Peter's eyes lit up and I think I saw him drooling. He almost ran down the aisle to get her to come to him even faster.

Even though I had seen her all morning long,I started to cry when she walked down the aisle. Our baby was getting married.
The day that Mom brought her home,she said to me,"This is your baby too. She's a share baby." I have always been part mom/part sister to Kara and the mom part really took over yesterday.

During the ceremony,T.C.(the best man) and I signed the marriage certificate,which is a Jewish tradition. I remembered when Kara signed mine 12 years ago as my maid of honor. Time sure does fly.

All things considered,I kept my crying to a minimum,although Peter laughed and said,"You did? Every time I looked at you,you were crying!" Mom backed me up on that. I really did hold it together quite well,thank you very much.

The wedding speech turned out great. I didn't write it until the night before the wedding. Peter and I have been going back and forth on how long it could be. He said 30 seconds or less. Ya,ok!! He knew that was never going to happen.

Whenever I did something that Peter liked during the past 10 months,he'd say,"Go ahead and add an extra minute on to your speech." When he irritated me,I'd say,"That'll cost ya. I'm adding another 3 minutes." I put this part in the speech and added,"So,technically speaking,I am entitled to talk for 6 hours. I should also be able to have a slide show presentation on how much I love my sister and a parade in her honor. Since we all want to dance,I'll try to cut it down." Everyone laughed. I got so many compliments on how I am a natural at public speaking:very funny and relaxed. Ahhhhh,if they only knew how uncomfortable I am when I do things like that. It's a good thing that I fooled them all. Even Peter said he loved my speech.
Of course Kara did too. She knows how much I love her and that everything I say is from my heart.

Before the dinner,Lillianna and I said the blessing over the challah in Hebrew. That was cool doing that with her. She looked so precious in her white flower girl dress with her spiral curls and rhinestones in her hair.

We danced until 10:30pm(the wedding started at 3:30pm)and then Kara and Peter headed off in a limo to a hotel in Boston,while me,Rich and Lillianna,Mom and John,went back to the hotel that just the 4 of us had stayed in the night before. We had a suite the first night when it was me,Lillianna,Mom and Kara. Last night,we had an adjoining room to Mom and John's suite. We stayed up talking til midnight with 3 of Mom and John's friends who got a room near ours. Then we went off to bed.

This morning Mom hosted a wedding breakfast for Kara and Peter. It was all Mom's friends and some family. It was beautiful and a nice ending to a spectacular 4 days!

Well,that's enough excitement for me. I have to take some more ibuprofen because my hips and calves are screaming in pain from a whole night of non stop dancing.

Congratulations to my dearest sister and my fabulous new brother in law!!

Welcome to Bawstin

I received this as an email today but I thought it was funny enough to share it with the blog world.

For those of you who have never been to "Bawstin", this is a good guideline. I hope you will consider coming to "Beantown" in the near future. For those who call New England home, this is just plain great!

Information on Boston and the surrounding area:

There's no school on School Street, no court on Court Street, no dock on Dock Square, no water on Water Street.

Back Bay streets are in alphabetical "oddah": Arlington, Berkeley, Clarendon, Dartmouth, etc.

So are South Boston streets: A, B, C, D, etc.

If the streets are named after trees (e.g. Walnut, Chestnut, Cedar), you're on Beacon Hill.

If they're named after poets, you're in Wellesley.

Massachusetts Ave is Mass Ave; Commonwealth Ave is Comm Ave; South Boston is Southie.

The South End is the South End. East Boston is Eastie. The North End is east of the former West End. Roxbury is The Burry, Jamaica Plain is J.P.

How to say these Massachusetts city names correctly: **Say it wrong, be shunned**

Worcester: Wuhsta (or Wistah)
Gloucester : Glawsta
Leicester: Lesta
Woburn: Wooban
Charlestown: Char-less-town
Dedham : Dedim (like denim w/ a D in the N pace)
Revere: Re-vee-ah
Quincy: Quinzee
Peabody: Peabuddy
Waltham : Walth-ham
Chatham: Chattum

Definitions:
Frappes have ice cream, milkshakes don't.
If it is fizzy and flavored, it's tonic.
Soda is CLUB SODA.
Pop is Dad.
When we want Tonic WATER, we will ask for Tonic WATER.
The smallest beer is a pint.
Scrod is whatever they tell you it is, usually fish. If you paid less than $6/pound, you got scrod.

It's not a water fountain; it's a bubblah.
It's not a trashcan; it's a barrel.
It's not a spucky; it's a sub.
It's not a shopping cart; it's a carriage.
It's not a purse; it's a pocketbook.
They're not franks; they're haht dahgs.
Franks are money in France.

Police don't drive patrol units or black and whites they drive a "crooza".
If you take the bus, you're on the "looza crooza".
It's not a rubber band, it's an elastic.
It's not a traffic circle, it's a rotary.
"Going to the islands" means Martha's Vineyard and Nantucket.
If something's good, it's "pissa". If something's really good, it's "wicked pissa".

The Pats = The Patriots
The Sox = The Red Sox
The C's = The Celtics
The B's = The Bruins

Things not to do:
Don't pahk your cah in Hahvid Yahd .... they'll tow it to Meffa (Medford) or Slumaville (Somerville).
Don't sleep in the Common. (Boston Common)
Don't wear Orange in Southie on St. Patrick's Day.

The underground train is not a subway. It's the "T", and it doesn't run all night (fah chrysakes, this ain't Noo Yawk).

Bostonians think that it's their G-d given right to cut off someone in traffic. Bostonians think that there are only 25 letters in the alphabet (no R's). Bostonians think that three straight days of 90+ temperatures is a heat wave. Bostonians refer to six inches of snow as a "dusting."

For those of you who have never been to "Bawstin", this is a good guideline. I hope you will consider coming to "Beantown" in the near future.

Big poofy hair!

Karen,my hairdresser,colored my hair as usual today and then she styled it just like she will be doing it on Saturday,for Kara's wedding. I love it but I look ridiculous for every day. Of course,I have to work tonight and I feel goofy. I have big poofy hair which will look great when I'm in my gown with dangling earrings and make-up but since I am wearing pants and a top for work,I'm going to be self conscious. I feel like a Minnesota pageant mom with this high hair.

When the phone rings at midnight

Nothing good has ever come from a call in the middle of the night. I am usually afraid to answer the phone after 9:00pm because everyone knows I am asleep by then. Who would be calling me unless someone is dead or injured? That's what the late night calls are all about.

I got home from work around 8:15pm last night and Rich ended up going out at 9:00pm to help his friend at the radio station with some fantasy football game they were setting up. Lillianna had gone to her friend's house for a birthday sleep over at 6:00pm.
I had asked her to call me before my bedtime,not hers.

Many times when she is at a sleep over,she forgets to call us,so when I was ready for bed at 9:30pm,I didn't worry about not hearing from her.
I had been asleep for over two hours when the phone rang at midnight!

Too sleepy and confused to read the caller I.D.,I hesitantly picked up the phone.

"Hi,Mom," my cheery child chirped. Without waiting for a response from me she continued,"We're watching our third video! I'm having a lot of fun. I'm not even tired yet!"

I yawned and laughed,"I told you to call me before my bedtime. I've been asleep for 2 hours. I have to be up at 4:00am,Noodle."

That really didn't have any impact on my child. She continued to tell me about what Joey the cat was doing and asked me to hold on a minute. The things a mom will do for the love of her child. She finally finished catching me up and I told her to get some sleep. She said she would try.

So,if your phone rings at midnight,it might be your child announcing,"I'm still up!!" even if she had to wake you up to tell you that news.

WWKD? That's the question!

I have seen the WWJD (What Would Jesus Do?)bumper stickers and jewelry everywhere.
This morning,I had to ask myself a very different question,"WWKD?" (What Would Kris Do?)

If you read our DotMoms post from the other day,you would know that Kris had an incident with her coffee and some linty paper towels on the day that we met. She was very calm,cool and collected in spite of her brown coffee stains. She didn't let that interfere with the fun filled day that we had planned.

This morning,as I was driving to work at 6:00am,the straw from my ice coffee drizzled down my white shirt. For a moment,I seriously thought of turning around and going home to change but I didn't want to be late for work. I wanted to scream because nothing looks worse on a white shirt than brown stains.I looked like a cow.

Okay,maybe blood stains on white would be worse but since I wasn't shot or stabbed,the coffee stain seemed quite overwhelming to me. I sighed and thought,"What Would Kris Do?" Of course,I knew exactly what she would do. She would just take a deep breath,enjoy the rest of the drive and take care of it when she got to work.

I didn't cry,whine or throw my coffee out the window. I took a deep breath,listened to my country CD and waited until I got to work. Guess what? The coffee stains came out after I washed them. It was a miracle.

So,if you're ever in a situation that requires a cool head,just ask yourself,"WWKD?" I know that's what helped me!

Connecting the dots in DotMoms

You can read this post over at DotMoms.

Kris and I had a fun time shopping a few weeks ago. We can't wait to meet up again.

You can read Kris' post about our DotMoms post here.

She totally cracks me up. I love that we both write posts about reading posts that are posted elsewhere.

Welcome to my delicious smelling bathroom!

Ever since I was a child,whenever I came home from playing at a friend's house,my mother always asked me how their bathroom was. I always made sure to check it out because I knew there would be a quiz when I walked in the door. If,G-d forbid,I came home and told her the bathroom was not clean,I was never allowed back to that house. If it was a good friend,I prayed they had a maid or a mom who really loved to clean!

Mom kept our bathroom sparkling clean. It was always immaculate.I get so frustrated when I realize I am not my mom and will never have that kind of bathroom.
Oh,Rich and I clean it on a regular basis but it doesn't have that just cleaned,paper banner across the toilet seat, stamp of approval that you get in a nice hotel. That's the kind of bathroom I grew up with.

I guess that's why I am obsessed with air fresheners and candles:not to mask the smell of an unclean bathroom but to enhance the clean smell that tells the world that I am a caring person because my bathroom is so inviting.

I have tried so many air freshners in the past and I have been quite disappointed. A recent purchase was one of the plug ins that is supposed to add a lovely scent to the room for 30 days. Try 30 minutes......or less. Even pulling out the gel pack and inhaling deeply didn't release any apple blossom smell. I was quite unhappy. My bathroom smelled.....empty,except for the minty freshness of our toothpaste. That wasn't quite the scent I was going for.

The other day,I was in the supermarket,looking at all the air fresheners.....again! As I was reading the back of one of them,a woman came by and put 5 of these air fresheners in her cart. I asked her if they really worked. "Oh yes," she said. "I use these all the time in my office bathroom at work. I get lots of compliments on how wonderful the bathroom smells......and it lasts a long time." I thanked her and bought this.

Now my bathroom smells of tropical fruity goodness. It's a pleasure to just walk in there for no reason at all. My bathroom tells you a lot about me. It shows I love my family enough to give them a tropical atmosphere in which to pee and poop. I am such a good mom and wife.

Where can I get an Oompa Loompa?

Willy Wonka really had it easy. He had those Oompa Loompas doing all the hard work.
I've been making chocolates for Kara's wedding for the past 3 hours and I've still got quite a ways to go.

I've made all the bride and groom chocolates,most of the pink hearts and some of the chocolate ovals that say "celebrating love."I may not finish them all today but I have the rest of the week to make them and bag them before we put them in individual heart boxes and tie them up with pink and brown ribbon on Sunday.

So,if you hear of anywhere that I can get an Oompa Loompa,please let me know. I could use the help.

A surprise reunion

When Lillianna was around 2 years old,I used to go into a women only chat room where I "met" the most wonderful people. We eventually let a few guys in there but they weren't pervs or anything so it was ok. I chatted with these people several times a day while she was napping or playing quietly next to me.

We used to have these sound waves that we could play in the chat so that everyone could hear them. Sometimes someone would type,"This one is for Lillianna," and Lil's favorite wiggle wave would play. It always made her laugh. She would try to type to my friends but it always came out like afdskurpoewihqaifahkdhrakjh;fkadh;i.
Somehow,they always understood and they always answered her.

After two years of chatting,we were over run by "bots" who would come into our room and take it over before we got there. In the end,I figured it was hopeless and I just stopped going in there.

Last Wednesday night,while Lillianna was on the computer,she noticed my messenger that said,"T has signed in." She asked,"Mom,who is 'T'?" I had seen that several times over the past few weeks but I didn't IM her because it had been 6 years since the last time I chatted with her and I wasn't sure if she remembered me. I thought for a moment and then asked Lillianna to scoot out of the chair so that I could IM "T".

I immediately got the response,"Hey CC!" It made my heart stop. No one has called me CC in 6 years. It took me right back to the chat room days. T told me that our chat room was still up and running and had been for all these years. I was stunned. Apparently they moved the room away from the evil bots and continued on. I never knew. I guess they just thought I had moved on.

After a few minutes of chatting with T, it said,"S has entered the chat." All I could type was,"S!!!! OMG....how are you?????" Then the 3 of us went back and forth trying to catch up. "M has entered the chat." M????? M from Alaska????? I couldn't believe it. I couldn't stop asking questions in an attempt to make up for the past 6 years. "J has entered the chat."
J????J????? OMG!!!!! J was a huge Beanie Baby collector and she insisted on sending Lillianna her Beanie twin which is a dog who was "born" on the same day as Lillianna. She frequently sleeps with Bernie the dog but she never remembered that J from my chat room sent it to her. While Lillianna watched the screen zip by with messages, I explained that J was the one who sent her Bernie. Lillianna's filled up as she said,"I think I'm going to cry." (Ya,she's my daughter!)

"R has entered the chat." R....wow. R will always have a special place in my heart. The first day I entered the chat room I was so confused. I didn't know what anything meant: LOL,ROFLMAO,BRB,OMG. The screen was zipping by so fast I got dizzy and my eyes dried out because I was afraid that if I blinked,I'd miss something important. R took me under her wing and explained things to me. She was so sweet and understanding. I would never have been able to figure it out without her.

When we last chatted,all those years ago,she was thinking of having a baby. Last Wednesday,I found out she has a 2 year old daughter. I was so happy for her.
Everyone asked me about Lillianna and they guessed her age as 4 or 5. Then someone typed,"Please don't tell me she is 5 already." I typed,"Uhm,well....she'll be 9 next month." M didn't believe it. "I thought she was a few years younger than my daughter." I asked how old her daughter was. She answered,"Eleven." I had to give her an LOL because Lillianna is 2 years younger but it must not have seemed young enough to M. Poor J was bumming out and claimed to be popping Xanax to relax herself since her daughter Little J was 16 and out on a date...in a car....with a boy!!
OY! I don't want to be worrying about that yet. We all sympathized with her.

I chatted with all my old friends for about an hour and then sadly,I had to go to bed because I had to be up at 5am. We made sure that we added each other onto our messenger so that we can chat again soon. I saved the link to our old chat room because I definitely want to talk to the people who weren't in our little messenger chat room last week. That was really so cool.

Have you ever belonged to a chat room?

More than being gay

I recently found out that a co-worker that I have known for several years is a lesbian. She might as well have told me that she bought a new house plant for all the drama that stirred up for me. I just added that to the facts I already know about her: she is upbeat,funny(she has a great laugh!),kind,loving,compassionate and she has the most beautiful hair. I guess that last one is kind of superficial but if you saw her hair,you'd just nod in agreement. Her hair is really gorgeous!

The reason this came up at all was because someone was being petty and wanted to publicly "out" her. I don't understand this mentality at all. That would be like someone trying to "out" me for being Jewish. It's certainly nothing that I hide. I just assume people know and don't really care. I mean,it does come in handy if someone has a question about a holiday or tradition. I never mind the questions.
Why would my being Jewish impact any of my co-workers? I can't imagine that it would. I'm not trying to convert any of them. If I were,then they could certainly take me aside and say,"Hey,keep your religion to yourself. I'm happy with my own,thank you."

That is not the case here. This wonderful person is being made to feel like it's a big deal,in a not so nice way, that she is a lesbian. Is it a big deal that I am Jewish? I've never been made to feel like that. I would be shocked to learn that my co-workers feel that way. I really would.

I think people are so much more than their sexual preference. So very much more.
I have friends who are gay but I don't think of them as my "gay friends" unless I am writing something like this or talking about a gay issue. I could list a million of their qualities and I doubt "gay" would be on the list. It's not a quality,just like a religion is not a quality.

I can't imagine talking about one of my friends and adding their sexual preference in the conversation. "So,me and my friend,Kristy.....who is a heterosexual,were going shopping......" Who needs to know that? I think Kristy's husband,Jerry, is grateful for her sexual preference but who else does this effect?...uhm......no one???

I am very much of the "live and let live" philosophy. I think it would be a happier world if people could just mind their own business and not worry so much about what someone else is doing. Where do they find the time??

A bad math equation for the first day of school

Mommy's P.M.S. + Lillianna's first day of third grade = non stop crying!

Ok,honestly,I cry on the first day of school with or without P.M.S. but it was so much worse today.
Lillianna was nervous about school for some reason so of course,that put me on edge. Rich and I drove her to school. We were planning to drop her off at the student drop-off but when we reached the school she asked,"Aren't you going to walk me up like you did last year?"

Rich and I said,"Of course we will." We parked the car and walked her inside the front door. I asked the teacher in the hall if we could walk her to her class and of course she said,"No." Lillianna looked at me with fear and tears in her eyes. That made me start to cry.

I hugged her and told her it would be ok and that all her friends were waiting for her. She hugged me and walked down the hall. I sobbed all the way to the car. I don't even know why. It was just that there were so many emotions building up to that moment and I couldn't stop them. I got in the car and cried all the way home. Thank goodness it's a short ride.

When we got back home,Rich and I had breakfast. That's when I realized that since Lillianna insisted on packing her own lunch box,I didn't put my special "I love you. Have a good day" note in there. That made me cry even more.

Rich and I look at things in a very different way. I know in his mind he was trying to comfort me when he said,"Just think, in the very near future,Lillianna will hop out of bed,put on her sweatshirt and pants,throw her hair in a ponytail and drive herself to school."

I burst into tears and looked at him in horror as I sobbed,"Why did you go and have to say that????"

Do you have a hard time on your child's first day of school?

Karr is not Jon Benet's killer

I just read this.
I can't say that I'm surprised.
Karr sounds like a sicko perv but I knew he didn't kill Jon Benet.
Didn't you?

The last day of school vacation

Lillianna starts school tomorrow. I think school should start after Labor Day like it did in the olden days when I was a kid. Lillianna and I were snuggled up in my bed this morning while Rich was in the shower and I said,"I'm going to miss you. I wish you didn't have to go back to school tomorrow."

Lillianna said,"Ya,me too. It seems like summer vacation just beginned!"
My eyes widened in surprise and then I burst out laughing.
"Beginned? Did you say beginned????.....I do think it's time that you got back to school after all. I really do!" Then we hugged and laughed.

Quote of the day

A friend emailed me this quote the other day.

Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in your garage makes you a car.

It just made me nod my head in agreement. I know people like this. I really do.

It's all about ME!

This post is over at The Lighter Side.

Chandra gave the blog a new look. Come check it out! It's pretty in pink.

Do I even want to know?

Last night,I got home from work at 8:20pm and Rich headed out the door to visit his friend,Mingo. I hadn't seen Lillianna since my mom picked her up at the office on Friday at 12pm because my mom took her to her sleepover party at 2pm. By the time she came home on Saturday at 12pm,I had been at work for 5 hours. She had a lot to tell me about the fun she had when I finally got home.

After making some huge tissue paper flowers together,we snuggled on the couch. It was supposed to be a quick snuggle and then we'd go to bed. Nice theory. We fell asleep all cuddled together. I woke up about 90 minutes later.

I managed to roll Lillianna off of me and I told her to come with me and I'd help her get in her jammies. She was sound asleep and only whined at me. I left her on the couch and I went to bed.

I woke up around midnight to go the bathroom and realized that Lillianna managed to get in bed with me on her own. (Rich was still at Mingo's.) I pulled the blankets down and felt her to see if she had changed into her jammies. Nope. I couldn't imagine sleeping in jeans so I tried waking her up so that she could help me get her jeans off. After some struggling,I got them off and then covered her back up with the blankets.

This morning,at 5am,I was in the kitchen packing my food for the day. Lillianna stood in the entry way in her long sleeved shirt,underwear and socks. She looked perplexed as she hesitantly asked,"Do I even want to know why I am not wearing pants?"

That just struck me in such a funny way that I couldn't stop laughing.It sounded like something a drunken/hung over college buddy would ask the morning after a keg party.

I looked at my precious,confused and sleepy child and told her what happened. She hadn't remembered a thing. She laughed and I hugged her. I asked her if she wanted me to help her change. She said,"That would be nice,Mom." I helped the groggy girl into her warm jammies and settled her onto the couch. She decided to watch t.v. and maybe take a nap.

I will never forget her little cute face when she asked me about her pants. She always makes me laugh.

Dog nail polish

This is a short but funny post over at Lillianna's blog. Can you tell we have too much time on our hands today?
(I love being at my sister's office today. Lillianna and I each have our own computer! What a luxury!)

The chocolate chip pancake story

(This post was inspired by Shaz who emailed me that she had eaten chocolate chip pancakes this morning. Those three little words chocolate-chip-pancakes always makes me cringe. Here's why.)

I am known for never lying but once,in high school,I told a lie. I know,it's shocking. Even I was stunned when it happened.This is a good lesson in telling the truth!

After our Friday night high school basketball game in 1980,most of the cheerleading squad went to our captain Ann's house for a sleep over. She had the cool parents. The ones who would be arrested in 2006 if their kids were growing up in this decade. We were allowed to drink at their house whenever there was a party. I always told my parents and I always slept over if I had been drinking. My parents were "cool" too in those days.

Some of the boys who knew we were at Ann's house came over to hang out with us. We went skating on the lake behind the house and then we sat around the wood stove in the basement to warm up and talk. When it got late,the boys left but Ann invited them to come by the next day.

When we woke up the following morning,Ann's mom asked us what we wanted for breakfast. Everyone yelled,"PANCAKES!!" That sounded good to me too. Then.....before I knew what was happening......for no reason that I can make sense of......I blurted out,"I can make chocolate chip pancakes!!" Everyone stared at me with a sparkle in their eye. Gasps of,"Oh my G-d!!..... Really?......You can?" filled the kitchen. Then....it was too late. Their minds were set on it.

I've gone over this moment in my head many times over the years and the truth is,I have no idea what made me lie. I barely knew how to make regular pancakes,let alone chocolate chip ones. I thought,"How hard could it be? I had pancake mix and chocolate chips. I was on Honor Society! I knew stuff. I could do this."

I read the instructions on the box,mixed it together and added a good amount of chocolate chips. This wasn't so tough. Just then,one of the girls looked in the bowl and asked,"Don't chocolate chip pancakes usually have a dark batter rather than a yellow batter?"

Not knowing if that was actually true or not and reluctant to look like a moron,I said,"Well,I'm not done!" I opened all the cabinets until I found a can of cocoa powder. Who knew it was unsweetened? It was chocolate. That was good enough for me.
I added a generous helping of powder to my mix and stirred. Damn! It was like mixing cement.

I had doubled or tripled the batch so there was quite a lot of batter but I cooked it all on the griddle and presented my creation to my friends. I didn't really get any rave reviews but no one choked,died or had to be rushed to the hospital so I felt ok. The texture was....interesting......but they tasted ok. We ate a couple of them and then we all said we were stuffed and we'd save the leftovers for later.

The boys returned a short time after we ate breakfast and we all went skating on the lake again. Several hours later,we went indoors and Ann's mother whipped up some hot chocolate. Someone said we should heat up the pancakes for a snack. Reluctantly,I did.

The boys ate them like they were candy. "These cookies are delicious!!!! Who made them???" they asked. I hesitantly spoke up and said,"I did. I made the......cookies." All the girls looked up from their snack to stare at me as they tried to hide a smile. They didn't say one word. The boys were full of compliments so I popped one of those treats into my mouth. Hmmmm....as cookies,these things were pretty darn good! Yes they were. I smiled innocently at my friends and vowed I would never lie again!

Have you ever told a lie that you regretted the moment it was out of your mouth?

No story here!

I wanted to write about something....I can't say what since the person I wanted to write about has banned me from writing about it.It would've been a cute story not an embarrasing one but still,this person has said NO! So I will respect this person's wishes because I am that kind of person but I have added the nickname FUN-CRUSHER to the usual cutie-pie names I usually use.
That's all I have to say!!

JonBenet's killer?

I am not convinced! Where the heck did this guy come from?? He said he drugged JonBenet and had sex with her. Hmmmmmm.....then why didn't the autopsy find any drugs in her system? Were they invisible drugs?
I thought in the original investigation,it was revealed that there were NO footprints outside of her home in the snow. Did the killer fly in the house?
Did he orb in like Paige and Leo do in CHARMED?

This doesn't make sense. I know there is still an ongoing investigation but this doesn't feel right to me. I have always thought that if her parents were truly innocent of this murder,then it had to be her older brother. Didn't the family whisk him away right after it happened?

One of the talk radio guys that I listen to in the morning,was talking about this portrait,that Patsy Ramsey painted.He said that although it appears that the boy has his arm around the girl,he is,in fact,choking her. I don't know about that but it does make it interesting. Was Patsy trying to tell the world something? (If you read what is under the painting it sounds like she copied it from someone else which is odd too.)

It's hard to speculate since all the facts aren't in but what do you think? Is this guy really her killer? My vote is NO!

Pretty darn slick!

So,I'm alone at my sister's office. Yesterday was a bit boring but today has been really hopping. I haven't stopped working since I walked in the door. Keep in mind,this is a mortgage company and I've worked in ophthalmology for the past 16 years. I don't know anything about mortgages....all I know is how to do eye exams. This is quite a change.

I trained with Kara several weeks ago but it was only for one day. Apparently,that was a big enough help to get me through these few days. I had to do an appraisal letter as soon as I came in. This was my first one. When all that was done,a real estate broker called and needed a pre-approval letter. This was a new borrower so I had to set that up in the computer by myself.

When it came time to write the letter,it wasn't where it was supposed to be. I called Kara. Apparently I made an error.She was trying to tell me how to fix it but I said if I concentrate on my instructions,I could do it myself. I did. Then I printed and FAXED the letter to the agent.

Will it sound goofy if I say I am so proud of myself? I've talked to Kara and Peter a couple of times because I can't answer some of the questions that people are asking me but of course they don't care. By me being in the office,they got to go away with the kids for a few days and they pay me to be here so we all win!

If this wasn't such a horrific commute,I wouldn't mind doing this full time! If I could make my own hours and come in before traffic.......well,let's not jump the gun.

Trying to be kind

This post is over at The Lighter Side.

Killing time when I was 6 years old

Shelly at Generation Exhausted inspired me to write this post.

When I was 6 years old,we lived in an apartment complex. It was a huge complex just like the one I live in now. (Coincidentally,it was once owned by the same person so they are quite similar.) One day,Mom and I were planning to go into town to go shopping but before we did,she still had some things to do to get ready. She told me to go out and play. (Ahhhh...those were the days when you could actually send your child outside.)

I remember going downstairs to see if my friend Cheryl was around. No one was home. I went upstairs to Marcie's house. No answer.

There were five buildings in my part of the complex and then we crossed a little road and went into the second portion of the complex which is where the pool was located along with many more buildings.

I decided to check if my Dad's friend George was home. He lived 2 buildings away so I went over and rang the bell. He buzzed me up. His son,who was a couple of years older than me,was visiting and they were playing a game of pool in the living room. I watched for a while and then got bored so I left.

I crossed the little street and headed over to the bigger complex where my friend Judy lived. I rang the bell but no one answered. Somehow,I was let into the building and just roamed around until I reached the laundry room. There I found the washing machine repair man working on a machine. He talked with me for a while and then I must've got bored again and wandered out.

At some point,my frantic mother found me and screamed hysterically. I didn't see what the big deal was because I had just been trying to kill time until she was ready. What was her problem???????

When I told her where I had gone she yelled,"YOU WENT TO GEORGE'S APARTMENT????? ALONE??????" Uhm,ya.I had known George my whole life.I totally couldn't grasp her issue with this. Then she shrieked,"WHAT WERE YOU DOING TALKING TO THE REPAIR MAN?? HE COULD'VE KILLED YOU." When would he have found the time? He was busy fixing the broken machine. Why would he kill me?

Looking back,anything could've happened to me. As an adult,I realized that George was a pretty creepy guy.He said some inappropriate things to me when I was 24 years old which I have never forgotten. Had Mom known he couldn't be trusted? Parents didn't share this information with their kids back then like they do now.

As for the repair man,there is always something hideous happening in a laundry room in every scary movie. What does that tell ya? No wonder Mom was terrified.

The bottom line is that young children usually don't have the best judgment even if they seem to be very intelligent. Afterall,they are just children.

The best day ever

Here is Lillianna's post about meeting Jess.

The Boston swim meet

You can read about how Jess swam a zillion hours in our lovely Boston water here.
It's really a great story. I can't even swim one lap in the pool without getting tired. Jess is truly amazing.

Working through an anxiety attack

I am trying to ignore the fact that my throat is closing up and my breathing is off. The tears are streaming down my face and I am trying to stay calm. I hate anxiety attacks. I really do. I keep making typos and correcting them. My breathing is getting better. It is slowing down. I never tried to get control by typing before but just by focusing on something else,it seems to be helping.

I just got off the phone with Fred,the representative from this horrific nightmarish insurance that Rich's boss switched us to a couple of months ago. You know,the one that cost me $96 for my cholesterol pills yesterday,instead of the $30 that I used to pay with the old insurance.

I had e-mailed Fred because Rich said he asked me to so that he could try to help us. The bottom line was,he really can't help. I asked him about my doctor's visits which are coming up in September. Will I still have a $20 co-payment? He said it will be $25 and that I have a $250 deductible for tests. I told him I have a blood test every three months. Basically,I'll be paying that on my own.

That's when I lost it. My throat started to close up and I could barely get the words out because I was feeling like I was on the brink of hysteria. I said,"I have to be on these medications the rest of my life. I almost died last year. I need to see my doctor and nutritionist every 3 months. I have to have blood tests. I already pay $500 a month for this ridiculous insurance and we get NOTHING for it!! My meds are not discounted and I am paying my own doctor's bills!!"

Fred's reply was,"Well,this plan is really for healthy people."
I started shaking and crying when I said,"Ya...well.....I wish I was healthy on my own but unfortunately,I need medication to stay that way!!"

In the end, he admitted that he could not help me so I said good-bye and hung up.

Ya gotta laugh that I am supposed to cut down on my stress and yet,my whole life is one stressful situation after the next. Today is my one and only day off until next Monday because I have to work on my days off this week since Kara and Peter are out of their office. I don't mind working for them but I also don't get a day off.

I know there are so many things to be grateful for but today....I am just totally
F%^$#*& PISSED OFF! I am sick of working my ass off and still having shit happen. I am sick of being tired all the time because I am up most nights worrying about everything. I am sick of trying to figure out how to pay our bills.

I just called one of my jobs to see if I could get medical insurance through them. I can but it will cost $770.00 per month which is more than I actually make.

I told my mom that I am waiting for a nice fairy to fly from the sky and tell me that I deserve to have some good luck and then *poof* my life will be better.
Too bad life doesn't work that way.....too bad.

Do you know your phone number?

One of the things that drives me absolutely crazy is when people don't know their phone number. Ya....it's true! Some of them are clueless!
In my job with the answering service,I have to ask each caller what their call back number is so the doctor can return their call. There are too many people who say,"Uhm....I don't know my phone number because I don't call myself."

You don't call yourself? That's supposed to be a valid excuse? I don't write to myself but I know my home address!
That's all I have to say!

We actually met,Jess!

Well we did it.On Friday,Lillianna and I drove to the mall for our meeting with Jess. After "talking" to her online for the past two years, I was hoping she'd be just like I had pictured her.

I was surprised that she was taller than I had imagined because on her blog,she had said she was short. Well,I'm short at 5'3" so I thought she would be around 5' or 5'1". She's 5'5"! When I asked her why she said she was short she said,"Well,I am short for an athlete." Hmmmmm....I didn't think about it that way. In my eyes,that girl is tall.

We had a lovely lunch at Joe's American Bar and Grill and it took us forever to actually order since we were babbling non-stop and never really looked at the menu. Lillianna was absolutely silent and I realized that Jess and I were out-talking her! That's really amazing since Lillianna is quite a chatty little girl. We finally let her get a word in every now and then. She finally felt comfortable after a while and just piped up whenever she had something to say.

We spent around 4 hours at the mall and then Jess had to head to Boston for her pre-swim dinner. She came back to our apartment around 9:45pm to spend the night. We were both exhausted but we still talked for a while before going to sleep. We were both up very early since I had to go to work and she was heading back to Boston for her 4 hour swim mete. I'm still waiting to hear how that went. She drove back to Florida right after the mete so we didn't get a chance to see her again.

I am so glad that we got the chance to spend some time with her. Jess is kind,caring,funny and intelligent. She's just the way I thought she would be. Lillianna cried when she left. I told her she could still email Jess and we were lucky that we got to meet her. She sniffled and nodded her head but she didn't seem convinced.

I am always envious of people who get to meet their online friends. Now I can say that I met one too!

A lesson in friendship

This post is over at DotMoms.

My first "real life" meeting

I often wish that I could meet some of the people I have "known" online for the past two years. Today,Lillianna and I are going to meet Jess for lunch and then shop for a few hours. Then Jess is off to Boston for a pre-race dinner before she swims tomorrow morning. After dinner,she will come back to our apartment for a couple of hours of sleep before we are both up at the crack of dawn. I have to leave for work and Jess will head to Boston for her swim meet. I wish I could've taken the time off from work to see her swim but unfortunately,I don't have any extra vacation days. I'm taking them for Kara's wedding next month.

In two weeks,I will be meeting Kris.
Hmmm...it's almost like these internet people are real!

This is exciting because after reading their blogs and exchanging emails,I wonder if they will be the way I have imagined them to be. I'll let you know.

Have you met any of your internet friends?

A hodge-podge of thoughts

I haven't written a post since last Wednesday because I have so much crap in my head I couldn't put one thought together. Kris obviously had the same problem and she put all her thoughts in one post. Hey,I can do that. I was trying to make it sound sensible but apparently,that is not a must. I love blogging.

Here is what is on my mind...in no particular order.

1. Lillianna and I went up to the pool today at 3pm. I had a headache earlier in the day and begged Lillianna to let me nap for an hour. Wednesdays are hard for me because I work until 11:30pm on Tuesday nights so I was half dead today. Finally,after lunch and after my too short nap,I packed snacks and went up to the pool. A mom was leaving with her daughter and she said,"The pool is closed. The filter is broken. It's been broken for 3 days."

I was pissed. They put ridiculous signs in our vestibule every day of the week. Why couldn't they let us know about the pool??

2. There is a horrible glare running across my computer screen right now. I just HATE that!!

3. I have to go for my fitting this week. I did manage to buy my shoes and bra for the dress on Monday so all that is left is the fitting. Uhm...with my schedule,when the hell will I fit it in?? Huh?....When???

4. Tomorrow is my morning at the ophthalmology practice. I really hate dealing with people. It's 4 hours of torture,it really is. August 13th will mark my 16 year anniversary at this hell hole. Happy freakin' anniversary to me.

5. We still haven't heard about the job Rich applied to in June. We were told it might take a few months but I really want to know already! RIGHT NOW!

6. I have to go right from work to my sister's office tomorrow afternoon to train for that job. I wonder if I'll really ever be trained. Only time will tell.

7. Mom was telling me about the meeting she and Kara had today with the caterer for the wedding. The dessert table sounds delicious. My mouth was watering. Stupid Diabetes......ruins all my fun! I won't be able to eat a damn dessert!!

8. Lillianna and I watched Dr.Phil today. It was about a mom and dad who beat their 5 kids. It was horrible. It made us both sad for the kids.

I guess that's it for now. The glare is giving me a headache.

Too late,Mel......it's just too late

I'm really tired of hearing Mel Gibson apologize to the Jewish community for the anti-Semitic remarks that he made when he got picked up for drunk driving last week.
He claims he didn't mean them and that he is not anti-Semitic. He chalked it up to being drunk and not knowing what he was saying.

I have been drunk once or twice in my life and I knew exactly what I was saying when I said it. The problem was,I didn't care that I was saying it.

My senior year in high school,my friends and I arrived at our Halloween dance after drinking way too much Riunite Lambrusco. I was buzzed and determined to tell the boy that I liked that I liked him even though he was dating one of my friends. I did start to reveal my undying love for him when another friend dragged me off before I let the cat out of the bag. My point is,I knew exactly what I was doing even though I wasn't using my best judgment at the time. I never used the excuse,"Well,you can't blame me,I was drunk." The alcohol gave me the courage to say what I had been dying to say for way too long.

I think it's the same with Mel Gibson. He meant every anti-Semitic thing he said and the alcohol gave him the push that he needed to say it. His own father thinks the Holocaust is mostly fiction! The history of anti-Semitism is certainly in the family,although I don't blame children for their parent's actions. You can't deny that this isn't even the first time Mel has been accused of hating the Jewish people.

So Mel,since I am Jewish,I just want you to know that it's not up to me to forgive you. It's up to me to believe that your apology is sincere....which I do not. I think you are trying to say what you think we want to hear and what I want to hear is that you never said those things in the first place.
It's just too late,Mel.

Some of my favorite posts

I'm at Kara's office hardly working so I decided to link some of my favorite posts here today. Enjoy.

The reason society is confused

What's in a name?

Making a sandwich

I want to be a 1950's sit-com mom I have to say that this was actually a DotMoms post but I really love this one. There was a comment questioning whether Amy and Kristy were names in the 50's but I just used the names of my real friends in this decade.

That's all for now. It was nice to re-read these posts. Sometimes I just forget what I had written in the past.

Can you hear me now? Good!

Cell phones...ya gotta love them. This post is over at DotMoms today.

Me and my friend,Ashley

Lillianna wrote about her sleep over with her friend,Ashley. This is her first post in quite a while. If you have a chance,please her post at Lillianna's place.

Your cheatin' heart part 2

Rich and I were talking about Your cheatin' heart the other night and I said, "You know,I have a better chance of forgiving you for killing someone than I do if you were cheating. Like,if you did actually kill someone,I'd at least ask you what happened and why you did it. If you had a reasonable explanation, I might be able to deal with it. If you cheated on me,there would be no questions asked. You'd just be thrown out without a word."

Rich kind of laughed and nodded. He has always known my opinion on cheating. He shares the same view as I do. Thank goodness we can trust each other. More than anything else,a good marriage has to have trust and honesty,which to us,is one and the same.

Making peace with frozen dinners

This post is over at The Lighter Side.

Your cheatin' heart

Lillianna and I spent five hours at the pool today. I heard and saw things that I wish I hadn't.

A few minutes after we arrived at 11am,a good looking dark skinned man who was probably in his 30's, entered the pool area with 2 small boys. I was impressed with Brian,the 8 year old,right away. He and Lillianna were standing on the top step of the pool and Brian asked Lillianna her name. After she told him, he walked over to her and said,"My name is Brian. Nice to meet you," and he shook her hand. I thought he was adorable. His 5 year old brother was equally charming. The younger boy called the man,"Dad",but Brian called him,Eric. I wasn't sure if Brian belonged to Eric's wife and maybe that was how the boys were brothers. It was kind of confusing but it really didn't matter.

As I was resting by the wall and doing leg lifts,I overheard this creepy guy that I don't like,talking to Eric. They know each other from working out at the gym. He asked where his wife was today. Eric said she was working on the Cape. Questions went back and forth and Eric said his wife was 26 and has her master's degree. She makes a lot of money as some type of rep and her bonus checks alone are over $8,000 per month. Eric didn't disclose his age when his son asked him. He kind of said 30...31...32...and made a joke of it. I thought he seemed like a nice loving dad.

Sitting near where Eric,his boys and the creepy guy were sitting,there were 2 young girls in revealing bikinis tanning themselves. Creepy guy couldn't resist talking to them and so the conversation started with,"Where are you from?" and ended with,"Oh....so you're a stripper?" Why wasn't I surprised?

Keep in mind that we (me,Lillianna,Eric and his boys and Erin-the stripper) were all at the pool for 5 hours. By 3:00pm,Eric ordered pizza which was delivered to the pool. When it came,he and the boys,along with Erin,sat under the umbrella and had lunch. About 20 minutes later,Erin's 2 friends,one male- one female,joined her at the pool.

After a few minutes,Erin went in the pool.Eric and the boys joined her. Brian and his brother began to splash them as if he were throwing rice and they sang,"Here comes the bride......" Eric and Erin laughed at those silly kids. Then they chanted,"Kiss her. Kiss her." He scooped her in his arms and kissed her in a very romantic way. I was stunned. Erin's friends just laughed.

After that,Erin and Eric continued to snuggle together in the pool. I was ill every time I saw them. How could he do that,especially in front of his boys? I wonder what his wife with the master's degree will say if the boys mention it? Will she shrug it off when he explains it was just a joke...just for fun and it meant nothing? Is this intelligent woman a sucker when it comes to her husband? I guess I'll never know but it makes me wonder....what do you consider cheating?

If Lillianna came home and told me this same story that I witnessed today but with Rich as the cheating husband,I'd pack up his stuff,throw it out the window and file for divorce. That would be more than enough for me. I wouldn't even want to hear his side of the story.

Would you consider this to be a case of infidelity or just harmless fun? How far would you let your husband go with flirting with another woman?

My new career

I went into Kara's office on Wednesday for training. She and Peter own a mortgage company and she is trying to train me to cover the office for their September honeymoon. I have gone in over the years to answer the phone and open the office when they are away but that has been to basically take messages,which I know how to do. This is different.

Kara tried to explain some of the basics to me but as Peter walked by and heard what she was saying he gasped and said,"Don't tell her all that. Are you trying to scare her?" We just laughed. I'm not scared. I'm just worried.

I know nothing about mortgages and I don't have a head for numbers unless they are ophthalmology related such as eye glass prescriptions,visual acuity and interocular pressures. I've been dealing with eyes for 19 years: 3 years working for an optometrist where I sold glasses and taught people how to insert contact lenses and 16 years working for an ophthalmology practice doing eye exams as a certified technician. I know eyes..... not mortgages. The problem is that I am completely burnt out being an ophthalmic tech and I do need a career change. I'm just not sure what I want to change to.

I think Kara's goal is to train me to take over the office while they are away and then eventually,to have me work there and process loans. In a way,it's very appealing. I love Peter and Kara and we get along great. Would working with them change that relationship? I don't think so. If Kara and Peter can work together,live together and vacation together and not kill each other,I don't think adding me into the mix would hurt anything.

After my first five hours of training,I felt like I didn't accomplish much but Kara thought I did a great job. She said it took her 5 weeks to train the last person to do what I did in one day. I think Kara is a big fat liar pants and that she said that so I wouldn't feel discouraged. I just input some info for a loan and uploaded it to the bank's account. A chimp could've done that.

They are going away this weekend so I have to go in to open on Monday because they won't be back until Tuesday morning. This time,it's just to answer the phone so it'll be easy but next time......who knows? I wonder if this will be my new career!

Have you ever changed jobs from something that you were familiar with to something completely new? How did that work out for you?

Has anyone seen Suri Cruise?

I can't read a headline these days without seeing the big question,"Has anyone seen Suri Cruise?" People are doubting she exists now. Was it a hoax?
Leah Remini claims she has held Suri. Whoopie. My days of wondering are over. Thank goodness someone has seen her. A store clerk claims she saw the baby and she is ghastly. I wonder how much the tabloids paid her to say that. Will anyone pay me to say anything?

Let's put this in perspective. I couldn't care less about Suri Cruise and her messed up parents. Tom Cruise in insane and Katie Holmes is a dope for being with this ding dong. True love? In Hollywood? I don't even think that is possible.

A sighting of Suri is so far down on my list,(well,it would actually never make my list) but.....here are ten things-in no particular order-that I care more about than someone spotting Suri Cruise.

1.) Will the Israeli's end the terror of Hezbollah?

2.) Will I find shoes for my sister's wedding in time for my first fitting?

3.) Should I have white or wheat bread tomorrow morning?

4.) Do we still have sugar free popsicles in the freezer?

5.) How long will this Brady Bunch marathon be on TVLand? I turned it on for Lillianna at 4am this morning and 19 hours later....it's still on!!!!

6.) Will the Gardetto's snack that I ate earlier in the day have any impact on my blood sugar tonight? It was really high in carbs!

7.) Will it be warm enough to go to the pool tomorrow?

8.) Why don't people pluck their chin hairs?

9.) What kind of back pack will I get Lillianna for 3rd grade?

10.) Why do celebrities breed???? WHY??

Rumor has it that a first picture of Suri will go for somewhere between $2 million and $5 million. Who said this world isn't messed up??

Have YOU spotted Suri? Oh wait.....there she is........sorry......false alarm. It was just a dust bunny. Damn,I'd better sweep!

The power of positive thinking

I've had my moments when I've read something inspirational and it explains that if I just had positive thoughts,my life would be different. Hmmmm.....the theory is a good one. Recently,I have re-read some of "Conversations with G-d." (I think you have to scroll to the top to see this book if you click on the link.)

It says that if I say something like,"I want to have a lot of money," the universe hears that and says,"Yes,you do want to have a lot of money." If I say,"I see a lot of money coming my way," then the universe responds by sending me what I already see happening. There is probably a better way to describe that but basically,that's the way it goes.

I have said,"I want," a lot over the years and I haven't gotten one thing that I wanted. I am trying to re-word what I need in my life so that I actually get it. I have put my new thoughts into action this week and I have to believe that what I envision for my life will be coming true very soon.

Do you believe that what you say to the universe has a direct effect as to what actually happens in your life?

Who can we "out" today?

I had to laugh when I read that Oprah denied she was in a lesbian relationship with her best friend Gayle. Was it a slow news day or what? First of all,people don't understand close female relationships anymore. There must be something more to it than "friendship",right? Wrong! Why can't people just mind their own business?

My second thought is this,what if they were gay? Who cares? It's 2006!! Are we taking giant steps backwards? Remember when Ellen Degeneres was outed? Ooooooh! Big freakin' deal. She's gay. Tell me again how that totally changed my life. Oh wait,it didn't! She is funny,kind and loving and has a popular talk show. Does being gay make her unfunny? unkind? unloving? I don't think so.

Not too long ago,the world tried to "out" Sponge Bob Square Pants! Are you kidding me? He's a cartoon sponge!

I have a friend who I will call "B." We have been friends since high school although I was in love with him when I was in 4th grade and he was in 6th. We became the best of friends in our teen years when we actually knew what true friendship was. At that time,I didn't know he was gay and neither did he. Long story short:he figured it out in college.

I had a hard time dealing with it at first because this was 1981 and being gay was taboo and there was very little information about being gay. I was so innocent and ignorant about this subject. I always loved "B" because he was and is a wonderful person. Although I had a tough time understanding it all at the beginning,I finally realized that being gay was just a part of who "B" was and it didn't change him in any way.

We are still friends to this day. He is the same friend to me as he was in high school. Just the same old "B." Do I think of him as my gay friend? Not any more than I think of him as my friend who wears glasses and contact lenses. Neither one has anything to do with our friendship. I believe that certain souls recognize one another and "B" and I have always had that connection.
Could it be the same for Oprah and Gayle? A friendship is a heart connection,no matter what the sex of the friend is.

I wish people would stop trying to "out" everyone. It's the least relevant thing I can think of.

What should I worry about?

I've been worrying about finances for years but it has gotten worse in the past 9 months since I was diagnosed with pancreatitis and diabetes. As I've complained about before,my meds are expensive and I had to cut down on my work hours due to stress which is not good for my health.

This morning,I heard that Hezbollah has now threatened to attack the U.S. and destroy us all. Apparently,the people in charge say Hezbollah is no threat to us and we are not in any danger at all.

So,should I worry about being behind in my bills or should I stop worrying because Hezbollah is planning on killing us all soon?

I never get tired of compliments

This post is over at The Lighter Side.

Packing it up

Today's post is over at The Lighter Side.

It's a good thing I'm not a violent person

I hate health insurance. I know it serves a purpose but I think that holds true only if it's a good insurance. Rich works for a small company and his boss tries to save money on health insurance. It's been changed several times over the past 4 years and each time it has gone from "ok" to "less ok". With this last change we've gone from
"I can't do this anymore" to "Are you freakin' kidding me with this?"

I am on several medications since my pancreatitis in November. I also have prescriptions for my diabetic testing supplies. Our new insurance which took effect on July 1st,tried to charge me $96 for my cholesterol med which I have paid $30 for in the past. I have to be on this for the rest of my life. I called the new prescription company and they said they're not an insurance company. They are a prescription help program. Who are they helping? It's not me,that's for sure.

After 40 minutes on the phone with this representative on Monday,he said if I could get my doctor to switch my Tricor to Welchol,my co-payment would be $30 again. I put in a call to my doctor and when I went to pick it up today at CVS,they told me it would be $198!!!! and I would be taking 2 pills three times a day instead of one a day. Ok,so it's a million percent higher in cost and I have to pop pills all day long??? Ya,that's a big help.

I told the woman that it was supposed to be $30 and she said she would call for me. After several minutes on the phone she came back and said absolutely not.It's $198. Then she made another call and came back to say my old insurance went through and it's only $30 today. I told her we don't have that insurance anymore. She said they can't come back and reject it if it went through so now I would have 30 more days to figure out what to do.

My diabetes test strips went from $50 a month which I thought was outrageous,to $88 a month which I think is robbery! All my meds are higher on this "help" plan and Rich's boss assured him this plan was no different from the last one. When he comes back from vacation next week,Rich is going to talk to him. Basically,he needs a $400 raise per month and that will just cover my medication. I think it is totally unfair to keep going from an ok insurance to one that sucks even more. We pay over $500 per month for this insurance. Shouldn't they insure something other than their own pockets?

(After I posted this,I went in the other room to clean up. I decided to condense my Tricor bottles so I opened up my CVS bag and was stunned. What the heck was this? It was a giant bottle of pills. I read the label:WELCHOL!! They told me I was getting Tricor for one more month. I opened the bottle and saw pills that were the size of my big toe. I have to take 6 of them a day. SIX!

I know I'm lucky to be alive. All my doctors kept telling me that when I was in the hospital since I almost died but here I was enjoying my life and suddenly I have pancreatitis and diabetes. For a woman who hates needles (who doesn't?) I had to have a complete life change and check my blood sugar two to three times a day.It's not fun. I am on medications that I have never been on before and as I said,I have to be on the cholesterol med forever.

Taking six damn pills a day is too much for me. I know there are people who take many more than I do and who are on insulin so I really have nothing to complain about but you know,this is hard for me. It is adding to the depression that I am already in. I hope anxiety meds only have a $10 co-payment because I think that will be next for me.)

Welcome to my chocolate factory

I made 64 bride and groom chocolate lollipops yesterday. Today,I will wrap them all.
Kara's bridal shower is just 5 days away. I remember when it was months away. Where did all the time go?

I also have to make chocolate boxes with a chocolate diamond ring inside for our 3 flower girls;Lillianna,Lena and Bella. (Lena and Bella are Peter's daughters and Lillianna's soon-to-be cousins.)There is a lot of chocolate making going on in here.

Yesterday,while driving Lillianna to her hip-hop dance class,I told her the story of when I made chocolates for Liane's bridal shower. Lillianna thought it was very funny so I thought I'd write about it. My point to Lillianna was,"You always have to try your best." I think I got my point across.

It must have been June 1997. I remember it was summer time and it was HOT! I was 6 months pregnant and a tad more teary than usual. I had agreed to make chocolate heart bride and groom jewelry boxes with a bride and groom inside for a shower favor. I had been making chocolates for years by then so this was no big deal.....or so I had thought.

I bought this new chocolate mold because it had the imprint of a bride and groom on the cover and I loved it. My friend,Cheryl,had come over to help me make them. After pouring the first mold and letting it freeze to set,we tried to unmold it. The top popped out with ease,but the bottom was stuck. I tapped it lightly. Nothing. I pressed it lightly so that I wouldn't crack the chocolate. Nothing. I pressed and pressed and....crack. The bottom was in a million pieces!

I looked hopelessly at Cheryl and she said,"Let's try it again." We did and the same thing happened.I tried again. This time I pleaded with it,"Come on chocolate. You can do it. Just pop out for me,ok?" I asked G-d for help,"This is for my best friend's shower. We've been through a lot together. Help me make this day wonderful for her." I tapped the mold. I pressed the mold and.....it cracked again.

I called up the chocolate store down the street where I buy my supplies and asked them for a tip. They said to tap it. We had. Press it. Yup. That's all they had to say. I sighed and called up the chocolate store a few towns away where I buy my molds. They said I was doing everything right.THEN WHY WON'T THE CHOCOLATE COME OUT???????

After 3 hours of this,Cheryl wished me luck and went home.I looked at the 25 tops that I had and no bottoms.I needed 50 or 60 completed boxes. I can't remember how many it was but I was not going to give up.

The next day,I tried again. After about an hour,I got a bottom to come out....unbroken!!! I was overjoyed! The next one broke. The one after that broke. I sat down and cried. I cried and cried as I begged the chocolates to cooperate. "Please....I'm a good person. Why won't you just unmold? Why?"

Finally,I tried rubbing it in spots where it might've been stuck and patted it gently and tapped. It came out...in one whole piece. I thanked it for it's cooperation and tried another one. It too,came out in one piece. Not wanting to appear cocky,I gave it a grateful pat and set it aside.

About 6 hours later,I had all my chocolate jewelry boxes done. The following day,I wrapped them in cellophane bags and tied them with a ribbon. I gave the mold a dirty look and said,"I don't love anyone enough to go through this again. This is the last time I am making this." I put it in my box of molds but in 9 years,I've never used it.

That weekend was Liane's shower. I put a chocolate box at each place setting and sat down to enjoy the day. I could hear people talking about the chocolate. "Oh look. It opens. It's like a jewelry box!" "Hey,there's a little bride and groom in here." "I wonder where they ordered these. I'd like them for my daughter's shower."
Kristy,who was sitting next to me said,"This is the person who made them all," as she pointed to me. Everyone asked me questions and told me how beautiful they were.
It took the pain of making them away a bit. I knew they were beautiful and it's a good thing I love Liane as much as I do or I would've given up long ago.

I knew I could find a way to make the mold work so I didn't give up although I think I cried in every chocolate!