Friday, November 12, 2010

Happy Belated Birthday, Lillianna

My precious child left a comment on an old birthday post and asked why I hadn't written about her turning 13 this year. Can you hear the knife stabbing into my heart? OY!
She's a good Jewish girl throwing that guilt around. I taught her well.

The reality is that work keeps me busy and when I get home I am so exhausted I'm lucky if I stay awake after dinner. The first time I've written on this blog in months was yesterday or the day before....I've already forgotten.

So here ya go, Noodle..........My very precious daughter turned 13 on October 3rd. Yes, she's officially a teen. I'm going to officially need therapy. I know these are the years that kids pull away from their parents and bond with their friends but it's killing me....and yet I'm so proud of her too. How can that be? It's like an oxymoron like jumbo shrimp. How can it be both? It simply is.

She's a good girl with wonderful friends. Some friends she is very close to and others she is moving away from. Sometimes I'm sad for the change but I know it has to happen. My friend Robin and I drifted apart in 7th grade so I know how painful it can be. You are simply not the same person at 13 that you were when you were 6. Some gaps can not be bridged so you cross the bridge, wave good bye and move on. No one is right and no one is wrong. The relationship changed.

I remember when Kara was a teenager and I was in my late 20s and I used to say to her, "I love you because you are my sister but if we were the same age we would never be friends!!" We both agreed that was true. Of course even that relationship changed over the years and we are very close and adore each other. Go figure!

Lillianna is different.She is sweet, funny, smart, kind, loving, compassionate and a real snappy dresser! She hangs out with a great group of kids but when I was that age I was kind of quiet and I liked one on one relationships. I didn't do things in groups the way she does.

I think Lillianna is like Kara and that's ok with me since I love both them. I'm proud of the way Lillianna has turned out even when she ignores me or rolls her eyes at me. She is the perfect daughter for me. If I could change one thing about her I'd change the way she tells me that I'm not "hip and happening" because I totally know I am!! Would an unhip mom take her to see Justin Bieber and Sean Kingston next week? Huh? Would they? I don't think so.

Happy belated birthday to my 13 year old daughter. I love you!

P.S. Lillianna, your father says you're killing him!!

Wednesday, November 10, 2010

Buy a Dictionary!

I often write about spelling mistakes but that's because they drive me insane.
On Monday I drove by a restaurant that had a chalkboard sign outside.

Oh how tempted I was to walk in the front door and say, "If you can't spell restaurant then you shouldn't have one!" But alas, I simply drove by without stopping.

I also pass by a sub shop every day. Their new sign says,
It's not to late for Thanksgiving dinner. I understand that you can choose from two, too or to and golly jeepers that can be a tough call but if you don't know which one to use please ask someone. I make errors too, to, two but I don't post them on signs for all to see, sea. If I make a blogging boo boo it's no big deal. I'm not a business. I'm just writing down the crap that's in my head. Businesses should ask 10 people to proof read a sign before they put it up.

The reality is that I'm not driving around looking for spelling errors. My eyes are just drawn to them. Whether it's a sign, a note from school or a flyer for some event, I find the spelling mistake. It's a curse....really it is.

More Teen Moms?

When Pregnant at 16 started on MTV I thought it was stupid. When Lillianna started watching it I thought it would be good for young girls to see how difficult it would be to be a teen mom. Maybe this show would prevent teen pregnancies. So, I ended up following the girls through their show and on to their follow up show, Teen Moms.

I usually watch this show with Lillianna as I comment along the way. What 13 year old girl wouldn't love the additional remarks from her mother? When Farrah walked away from Sophie who was playing on the bed and then Sophie fell off the bed I said, "Do you know why that baby fell off the bed?" Without letting Lillianna answer I said, "Because she has a teen mom who is preoccupied with talking on the phone instead of watching her daughter, that's why!"

When Catelyn was crying as she handed Carly over to her adoptive parents I asked, "Do you know how you can avoid crying hysterically like that?" This time I waited for an answer. Lillianna sighed, rolled her eyes and said, "Yes, Mom....don't be a teen mom." I smiled proudly and said, "That's right. Good girl. You have been listening!"

Okay, so here we are. The show is over. I'm thinking maybe these teen moms did some good in the world and teen girls are thinking first before having unprotected sex.
BUT NO!!!!!! There is another whole batch of them waiting in the wings.

The next edition of Pregnant at 16 has already begun. While these girls were watching the first round of Pregnant at 16 they thought that looked like a good idea and then they got pregnant!!! What the hell is wrong with everyone???

I know some women who were teen moms and they are wonderful people raising fantastic children but it's not a goal a teen girl should have. MTV is giving these girls their 15 minutes of fame and everyone seems to be winning here except the babies.

I may not be a perfect mom but I've lived 35 years longer than my child and I learned some stuff during those years. I know much more now than I did at 16. I wish girls would get their education first and then think about motherhood down the road.

MTV should find a better way to help teens. These shows seem to encourage the very thing they're trying to prevent.

Thursday, March 04, 2010

What are you protesting?

An old friend of mine sent me a link to a petition that was circulating several years ago protesting gay marriage. I'm not sure why people would care who got married unless they were directly involved. There was a time that inter-racial and inter-faith marriages were taboo. If that hadn't changed by 1994 then Rich and I wouldn't have gotten married. He's not Jewish.

Times have to change and people as a group have to evolve. I'm not saying that everyone on the planet has to agree with me because they don't. I'm just suggesting that petitions shouldn't be written or signed to ban basic human rights.

There are things in this world that I could do without but I don't have the need to control what everyone else gets to do. I hate liver! I used to eat chopped liver on Ritz crackers at Nana's house on almost every Jewish holiday until I was around 6 or 7 years old. That's the time Mom and I were in the grocery store and I saw a package of LIVER! That's when it clicked. It was liver inside your body,liver, not some random name of a food that we were just calling liver. I never ate it again.

The first word I made someone teach me when I was in Israel was liver. Why? Because every time I asked what something was they would say, "I don't know how you say in English." I'd ask, "Does it moo? cluck? gobble? oink?" Since I got very little response with that I learned the word cah-ved That was always my first question, "Is it cah-ved?" That really helped me out during my 2 years there.

So,I hate liver but never once did I say I was starting a petition to ban the sales of liver in the state of Massachusetts. The reason for that is because I know a lot of people who adore liver especially with a side of onions. When they talk of that meal they have the same sparkle in their eye that I get when I think of mushroom pizza from my favorite restaurant.

Liver and I can co-exist in peace and harmony and I don't have to spoil things by trying to take it away from those who enjoy it. I'm not a control freak. I believe in live and let live.

Life is complicated and having a soul mate to share it with makes the world a happier and better place. I believe 2 people who love each other should be married if they choose to be married. I just hope they don't invite me over for a liver dinner!

Sunday, February 21, 2010

I do have a daughter,right?

February school vacation meant that I worked full 8 hour days instead of only 6 hours because Lillianna was at a friend's house and I didn't have to hurry home to get her off the bus. When Lillianna was younger I didn't work as many hours as I do now so I just took the few days of vacation off and we spent time together. Even if that were possible now, Lillianna doesn't want to hang with her mom. She wants to be having fun with her friends.

It's the normal course of things, I know, and honestly I thought I was prepared for it but it's still difficult. Lillianna and I spent Saturday night and Sunday night at Kara's last weekend and then I went home on Monday. Lil stayed Monday night too and Rich brought her home on Tuesday after work.

She slept at home Tuesday night.....hooray! Then I brought her to Emily's Wednesday morning. She slept there Wednesday and Thursday night and I picked her up after work on Friday.
Last night she went to Aneya's house for a birthday sleep over and Rich picked her up at 11am and brought Lil and Carly to Sarah's house for the afternoon. She finally came home at 5pm.

Lillianna had a blast all week and that's all that is important. At 12, I'm happy that she has good friends who she enjoys being with. I would hate to have a clingy tween who couldn't make a move without me. That would mean I failed as a mother and I never want to do that.

So, ya, I do have a daughter and I'm going to snuggle with her before we both go to bed. She may be independent but she'll always needs lots of love from Mom.