Bathing suit shopping

Those 3 words will bring a groan from most women. No matter how thin or in shape a woman is,she always hates shopping for a bathing suit. That's just the way it goes.
My bathing suit is 2 years old and 50 pounds ago. I have worn it a couple of times in desperation since I couldn't find a new bathing suit that I liked. The other day, Rich said that my bathing suit didn't look great on me anymore and I knew he was right. It was just too big and I wasn't comfortable in it.

Yesterday,Lillianna and I headed out to Kohl's for a new bathing suit for both of us. She pointed to a 2-piece suit and I nearly choked. "Uhm....no,honey. Mommy doesn't wear anything like that." What was she thinking?

After looking on the racks and finding nothing I liked,I took a look at the 2-piece ones again. The top came all the way to the bottom and the bottom was kind of cute with a tiny little skirt. I hate the ones where the skirt is so damn long,I might as well swim in an evening gown. This skirt was short but it gave me some comfort so I sighed and brought it in the dressing room.

The top was pretty and I checked to see if any private parts were trying to escape. Nope.....it seemed safe. I loved the support it gave me since my old bathing suit is so stretched out,my boobs can touch my knees in that thing. Not a pretty sight. No it isn't! I took a deep breath and got the bottoms off the hanger. I slipped them on and they felt great. I dared to look in the mirror.

I had to smile. It looked great! It really did. Ok,my legs are jiggly and I really have to tone those things but I looked good. This fitted suit was so different from what I had been wearing and I was proud of myself. I've lost 50 1/2 pounds as of this morning and I have been exercising at the gym and swimming in the pool with Lillianna and I can see the difference. I really can.

Lillianna found 2 new bathing suits for herself so she was pleased with her purchase. We came home,changed into our new suits and went to the pool. It was a great day!

Thirty minutes alone with my husband

You can read this post over at The Lighter Side.

A light at the end of the poodle tunnel.

Well,I called my hair salon this morning. I told the receptionist that I wanted to come in today if Karen had some time for me. She has to watch me curl my hair and tell me what is wrong. I want pretty curls.

If I come back as a poodle in my next life,I will still hope for prettier hair! This is not a good look for me.....at all!

I am going in at 11:45am. Cross your fingers.


{Update: My hair looks great!....just like it did last Thursday when Karen colored and curled it. She watched me roll my hair and said I had a great rolling technique.
Before you even suggest it,no,I never had experience rolling anything else. I have always been drug-free,thank you very much.

Anyway,I learned a few new tips and I look forward to trying them tomorrow to see if I can duplicate my hair style. I stopped at CVS for a spray bottle and a huge mirror so that I can see the back of my hair. Maybe this will be the end of the poodle look for me. I sure do hope so!}

I hate today

Everything seems to be wrong today.....everything.

1)My hair is a Brillo pad.......still no luck with the curlers.

2)I sort of balanced the checkbook but I could only pay 2 bills. Everything else will have to wait until I get more money.....when the hell will that be??

3)I have to go food shopping when Lillianna gets out of school.Yippee!

4)I'm exhausted.

5)I still have this damn headache!!!!!!!

6)I am feeling like I am on the verge of an anxiety attack. My throat is starting to close.

I wish my life was less stressful. If I click my heels 3 times do you think I'll have an easier life?? I didn't think so.

Extra! Extra!! Read all about it!

This is shocking.....Earth shattering.....I hope you are sitting down. I have been begging Rich to start his own blog for 2 years now but he has refused. The other day,Chandra asked if the husbands wanted to write for The Lighter Side. Surprisingly,Rich said he did. I nearly fell on the floor.

So here it is......Rich's very first post.

Please leave all comments on The Lighter Side. Thank you!!

Order in English!!

The owner of a cheesesteak restaurant has a sign that says the customers have to order in English. You can see it in Comcast's "The Fan" here.

I think this is a great idea!! What do you think about this??

At war with my perm

So I have had this perm for 13 days. I still don't love it. The curls haven't relaxed as all you well meaning supporters promised me. Nope....still curly as a poodle. My dreams of big bouncy curls is dead.....or is it?

Thursday,Karen colored my hair. I had to wait 10 days after the perm to have it colored and believe me,that was the longest 10 days of my life. Gray is not a pretty color on me. Nope....it sure isn't.

After she colored it and dried it slightly with the blow dryer,we both looked in the mirror. I said,"I still hate it!" Karen sighed,"Me too." She whipped out some bristle rollers and proceeded to roll my hair in them. Lickety split quick and my hair was done. She popped me under the dryer and then sat me back in the chair. As she took the rollers out I think I heard a "BOING!" as each huge curl sprang to life.

Instead of tight,horrible curls,I had big,bouncy, boinging curls....just like I had asked for 10 days before. Karen and I were both overjoyed!!....Giddy even! It was a dream come true. She packed up the curlers in a bag and gave them to me to take home. She told me that I could curl my hair even when it was dry and I could have these beautiful curls. It was easy.

Into every light,a little dark must fall. Is that an actual saying or did I make that up??

Friday morning,I tried the curlers. When I took them out,my hair was ten feet high. I looked like a Minnesota pageant mom. You've seen them.You know what I mean. Lillianna had a horrified look on her face when she said,"I hope you're going to fix that before you come in for computers,Mom!" I had Rich drive her to school while I wet my hair down and let it poodle curl on it's own.That was the best I could do.

I've tried it several more times,each a different way,but it is still a disaster.
I ate dinner around 4:30pm and then tried the rollers again. This time,it curled...not like Karen had it on Thursday,but not so poodley. I pointed to my hair and said to Rich,"This is better,right?" He said,"Closer. You're getting closer."

I guess I'll try again tomorrow!!

{Ok....I have issues.....It's now 6:13pm and I have re-set my hair. Let's see if it curls correctly this time!!}

A change of carnival plans

When we got to the carnival,I was told that my job was changed. I wouldn't be working at the snow cone machine,afterall. I was switched to the inflatable obstacle course. This thing is like a billion feet high and half a billion feet long. It attracts screaming,pushing, sock-footed,crazed children of all ages. I already had a migraine. This didn't sound like it was going to have any healing powers on my pounding head. I was right.

For the first hour,I took the tickets and said,"Ready....Set....GO!" as the kids raced two by two through the obstacle course. Then I switched with the other volunteer mom and I headed to the back of this inflatable monster and watched the kids as they made their departure down the slide. I got to say things like,"No jumping!" "You can't somersault off the top. Just slide,please!" The kids never listen. I got to watch a couple of them almost plunge to their death but hey....who really cares?......the parents just cheer them on.

We picked up pizza on the way home and I ordered the new rustic pizza from Papa Ginos. It was good. I was starving so I ate too much. I fell asleep on the couch right after dinner. When I woke up,I checked my blood sugar. It was very high. That made my head pound a little more. I took my diabetes pills and went to bed.

Now it's just about 10pm and my head is killing me. I have to take some more Tylenol and try to go to sleep. I have to be up at 5am for work and I know the morning comes faster than I would like. Like all Saturdays,tomorrow is 12 hours of work between two jobs. Neither job is thrilling me lately so I'm not looking forward to this at all. Oh well....a girl's gotta do what a girl's gotta do.

Is it nap time yet?

I could really use a nap right now. I went to school from 8:30am-9:00am for Lillianna's computer class. It was my last one. The kids were crazy today and Linda,the other mom who does this with me,never showed up. That meant instead of us each answering the questions of 4 kids,I answered all 8. I left school with a migraine.

Then I went to the post office and mailed Rich's resume off for a job he really wants.(Keep your fingers crossed!) I also mailed the invitations to my sister's shower. Then.....off to Wal-Mart.
Lillianna has 2 birthday parties to go to tomorrow. One is her best friend,Mollie. The other is her soon to be cousin,Lena. (My sister's future step-daughter.)Presents for everyone.

Then I went food shopping in a daze because I was hungry and dizzy. I called Rich as I left the supermarket so that he would come downstairs and help me with the groceries. I ate lunch and then came on the computer.

I have to get Lillianna from school in 45 minutes then I will be volunteering at the carnival at her school. I'm on the snow cone machine!! I am so tired.......my head is killing me......I want a nap. I guess I'll go wrap presents instead.

My three month check-up

Blogger was down earlier so I posted this over on The Lighter Side.

Going to Nana's house

Lillianna loves going to my mother's house. Here is her newest post.

Alone......all by itself....is that so difficult??

I always thought I knew what the word alone meant....until now.
If someone asks,"Hey,what did you do last night?" If no one else was home with me,I would say,"I was home alone." Alone. That would indicate that no one else was with me. It wouldn't somehow translate into,"I was home alone having a party with ten people." Somehow,having other people there would make me very much un-alone,right?

Along with alone,we have "by itself." This is another expression for alone. "The picture stood on the shelf,by itself." What image does this bring to mind?
A)The picture is on the shelf and there is nothing else on the shelf.
B)The picture is on the shelf with lots of other knick-knacks.

See,I would answer "A." Apparently,I don't understand what these words mean because no one understands me when I use them.

I shop in the same supermarket several times a week. It is a better quality supermarket and believe me,I pay the price for it but it's worth it to me. However,the people who bag my groceries have a different understanding of alone and all by itself.

I have bread issues. I don't like my sandwich bread flattened and squished to the size of a saltine cracker. I don't think that is a lot to ask.Sometimes,I grab the bread and put it in a paper bag and then hold on to it for dear life because I know more stuff will get thrown in with it and I don't want that!!

When the cashier asks me how I want my groceries bagged,I always say,"Everything can go in plastic except this one bread (which I point to so that she will know which one I am referring to). I would like this bread,alone,in a paper bag,all by itself,please."

The cashier always seems to understand. She relates this information to the bag person and this is where the trouble begins. Saturday,I went in to shop and of course I bought a bread. I like fresh bread in the house every other day. Like I said,I have bread issues. When the young man received his bagging instructions from the cashier he nodded and proceeded to bag my groceries. I wasn't paying attention until he yelled,"Did you buy eggs?" I looked up confused. "No,why?" I asked. He said,"I would've put them in here," and he pointed at my bread bag which was stuffed with rolls,popcorn and my precious bread. ALONE!!! ALL BY ITSELF!!!
How did that turn around to mean with eggs,rolls and popcorn? Do I not understand alone?? Is it me....Seriously....Is it?

Today,I had to pick up a couple of things so of course,I bought a fresh bread. When the cashier asked,I gave her my usual instructions. She related them to the bag guy who I have to add is an older gentleman who I really enjoy. He's in his 70's and he is very sweet and kind. I felt confident that this would be ok. He usually does what I ask.

Imagine my shock and horror when I looked in the paper bag and saw rolls and SunChips on top of my bread. When I pulled the bread out from the bottom,(of course it was on the bottom!)the middle was squished to the size of a cracker. That's when I decided to write this post. Clearly,I need help understanding the definition of alone.

Can someone please tell me what alone and all by itself means??? Please!!!........Thank you!

A little support

If you get a chance,please hop on over to The Lighter Side,and say congratulations to Chandra. She lost 2 more pounds.

Losing weight is never easy and writing for The Lighter Side helps us to stay focused and on track. Eating well and exercising is important and yet,sometimes,we just have a bad day.We're human. We know that we didn't gain this weight in one day so we won't lose it in one day either. It's a lifelong commitment to stay healthy and now that we are motivated I know that we will succeed.

If you or someone you know is trying to lose weight,take a look at The Lighter Side. We want to be a good support system for one another so that we don't feel like we are doing this by ourselves.

The dream of the perfect picnic

This dream started when I was 18 years old. Maybe it was too much Luke and Laura on General Hospital or one too many romance books, but I was obsessed with the perfect picnic. Not the kind of picnic where you are eating non stop fried chicken wings and there are no ants fighting you for a yummy piece of pie. Oh no! That was just an average picnic.

I mean the kind of picnic that books,soap operas and commercials lead you to believe exist. I would be in a long flowing sundress with kicky sandals and a glowing tan. I would spread out a red and white checkered tablecloth on the ground under a shady tree. Then,as if there were a drumroll,I would pluck my picnic basket from behind the tree and voila! begin to set up our lunch.

The meal would consist of French bread,Brie,grapes and wine. Looking back,I would've passed out after that meal. Where the hell was the protein? How much Brie could I eat before my blood sugar dropped? Anyway,I don't know where I got that menu but it seemed so very romantic to me. "Who was the picnic with?",you may ask. I never knew......just some guy I was in love with....Whoever that might be.

See,the guy wasn't as important to me as the perfect picnic. The picnic was all about romance and the dream of what could be.

In 1989,I was 26 years old. My friend Karen and her husband Mish,came to visit me from England. (I had lived with Karen in Israel in 1985). At that time,I was dating a guy named Barry. He was nice. I really liked him. When I saw the wicker picnic basket on sale,I knew it was a sign. I bought it without hesitation. When I opened it up,I was surprised that there was anything inside. It had 4 large plastic plates,matching plastic mugs and plastic utensils. My dream was coming true.

That weekend,we packed up our lunch in the picnic basket and headed to New Hampshire for the day. Barry insisted we bring paper plates even though I explained I had my picnic basket which contained everything we needed. Barry gave me a look so I reluctantly threw in some paper plates just to appease him but I knew we weren't going to use them.

The night before,we all discussed what we would bring on our trip. My perfect lunch was vetoed immediately. No one liked Brie and besides,we'd be hungry so we would need to eat sandwiches. French bread was not the ideal bread for deli sandwiches,too hard to handle,so we brought rolls instead. All I could do was sigh and watch my dream slip away.

When it came time to make lunch,Barry insisted that we use the paper plates instead of my beautiful colored matching plates for four. Everyone agreed that there was no need to dirty the plastic plates.

Now,17 years later,Lillianna keeps her doll's clothes in the wicker basket. She uses the four plastic mugs for when she wants to get her own drink. (Regular glasses are too high for her to reach.) The plastic utensils are kept in a bag with disposable plastic forks and spoons....just in case.

As for my perfect picnic...now that I'm married to the perfect guy,it doesn't seem so important anymore. Besides,Rich would never eat Brie and neither one of us drink wine. We'll have to make a new dream....Together.

Lo-mein for dinner? Yum!

This post is over at The Lighter Side.

No more laughing! No more fun!

When we moved into this apartment complex 3 years ago,I was thrilled to have a beautiful pool for the summer. The rules of the pool were annoying and basically,they sucked the fun right out of everything.

Lillianna was just learning to swim properly,back then,so I brought a flutter board to the pool one day. I wanted to teach her to kick before moving her arms. As soon as we entered the pool area,the lifeguard informed me that unless it was a life saving device,we couldn't have the board in the pool. I was not happy.I learned to kick using a flutter board and it made it so much easier.....and fun!

I understand why we can't have rafts or inner tubes because they take up a lot of space and kids bump into people without thinking but we also can't have an inflatable beach ball even when we are the only ones in the pool. There have been days when Lillianna and I are alone in the pool for quite some time before anyone joins us but apparently,we still can't play ball.

Last year,kids were throwing in Barbie dolls or their swim goggles so that they could swim to the bottom of the pool to retrieve them. All the kids like this type of diving. Since I am so clever,I bought Lillianna diving sticks for the pool this year.

Today was our first day at the pool. The boys who were there before we arrived also had diving rings and sticks. As soon as they went to dive for them,the new lifeguard said they couldn't have them in the pool. I was pissed!! What the f--- ?????? You just let the sticks drop to the bottom. There is no throwing involved so what's the big deal?

When we left the pool,I stopped into the office to ask about the diving sticks. We were allowed to have them last year so what's the big deal this year? I was told it was all about liability and some people throw the sticks instead of drop them. It didn't make any difference that I wasn't going to throw them....no is no! then I was informed that other pools have even more strict rules than we do. In some pools,you can't splash.

How the heck do you kick your feet without a little tiny splash?? What's next? Maybe we will be invited to stand around the pool and just look at the water. That would be refreshing. We wouldn't want to make any ripples in the water....that could be so disturbing!

I hate these flashbacks!

Not to make a mountain out of a molehill but I truly believe that I have post traumatic stress disorder since my pancreatitis attack in November. I have very disturbing flashbacks sometimes and it always sets me on edge.

I can be in the shower shaving my legs and I will flash back to sitting in front of the sink in the hospital,trying to wash myself and brush my teeth.I could barely move. With an I.V. in my arm,I wasn't very flexible. My stomach was so painful, I couldn't bend over to the sink to spit out the toothpaste. For the first few days,it took about 45 minutes for this sponge bath. When I was done,I had to take a nap. I was exhausted.

Whenever I get a stomach pain,I immediately flash back to when I was crying for morphine and the nurse wouldn't come because I wasn't due for another shot for 2 more hours. Every pain that I get now,scares me into thinking the pancreatitis has returned. I can't have a regular stomach ache without feeling that sense of panic.

Today it is hot outside. Really and truly hot. I didn't realize how hot until I walked up to school to pick up Lillianna. By the time I reached her,the sweat was dripping down my face and I could barely catch my breath. I noticed a small pain in my stomach and flashed back to the day before I went to the hospital.

I was so thirsty and hot that day and my stomach felt like someone was chewing my insides. I couldn't get cool and I couldn't quench my thirst. As these thoughts were spinning through my head,I tried to focus on just walking home to put on the air conditioner. I wasn't sure if I was going to be able to do it. Finally,I saw our building and I knew I'd be ok.

I was relieved when I walked through the door. I immediately put both air conditioners on, got a bottle of water and sat on the bed. I feel better now but I have to head outside again. I have errands to run and then I have a mandatory meeting at work. I can't wait to come home and relax.

I wish these flash backs would stop already!

What's cookin' ?

Sixty cupcakes.....that's what! Tomorrow is Ocean Fest at Lillianna's school. The two second grade classes invite their parents to spend the day in school with them and they sing songs,put on a play and guide us through their ocean projects. I heard a rumor that there will be an ocean trivia game pitting the kids against the parents. I'm not sure that I know any facts about the ocean!

The parents were asked to fill out a form and volunteer to bring something for lunch. One of the suggestions was an ocean cake. I crossed that out and wrote that I would make cupcakes with a chocolate sea creature on each one. I have tons of chocolate molds with ocean things on them.

When the woman in charge of the lunch called me last week,she was thrilled to have me make these cupcakes. She said we will need 60: 30 for each lunch.
I made over 60 sea creatures on Monday;starfish,fish,sea horses,sand dollars,conch shells and clam shells. Today I am making funfetti cupcakes with blue frosting (you know,for the ocean!)and a special chocolate ocean pal on the top. This should be fun.

Last night,Rich painted a cutie pie penguin on my t-shirt to wear tomorrow. The teachers have already made t-shirts for each child and I wanted to participate too. I'm that kind of mom!

I always wanted a dog.....

...... but I didn't actually want to become the dog. Let's just say my perm did not go as well as I had hoped today. I look like a poodle which is exactly what I was trying desperately to avoid.

I tried not to cry when I saw what I looked like. Karen felt bad and put a conditioner in my hair to loosen the curls. She said it will look much better in 2 days. I sure hope she's right.

I wonder how many carbs there are in a dog biscuit? Woof!

Wishful thinking

Lillianna was looking through the huge Rubbermaid storage container in my room today,to find her summer clothes. I decided to look through my drawers to see if I could find my denim shorts from many years ago. I did and they fit. They're a bit big but they're fine. I was feeling pretty good. There was a lot of room in the legs. Last year I squeezed into them and there was no room at all in the legs. This was definitely an improvement.

While I was pulling things out of the drawers, I found a black and white dress that looked familiar but I couldn't place it.I checked the label and it say "L." Ok,well a large was probably a size 18 in plus sizes,right? That seemed reasonable.

Feeling lucky,I went into the bathroom and tried it on. It was a bit tricky but I got into it. Sadly the front didn't button.It didn't even come close to buttoning. I sighed and tried to take it off. After a few wiggles,I realized I was stuck. I called for Lillianna and explained the situation. She tried to pull it over my head. No luck. My wishful thinking got me permanently stuck in a dress. This wasn't supposed to happen!

Like an escape artist trying to get out of a straight jacket,I repositioned my shoulders,wiggled and turned with a few quick moves and....VOILA.....I was out. I breathed a sigh of relief. My next option would've been to cut myself out of the dress. I loved that dress. I didn't want to destroy it!

I stood there holding the dress and tried to remember when and where I had bought it. It finally came to me. I had to laugh. I bought it about 13 or 14 years ago,before I met Rich. I remember trying it on in the dressing room and loving it. I paraded around the house in it. It made me feel so cute and sassy.

The store I bought it in was a hip and happening trendy store for young women. Well,I was a young woman back then! The size "L" probably was a size 12!! I'm getting closer but I am nowhere near that size yet. I've got another 50 pounds to go before I can wear that but believe me, I'm going to wear that dress again!! I'll let you know when that happens. There might even be a picture!

A day of firsts

MY FIRST BREAKFAST

Yesterday,we went to New Hampshire to visit Rich's sister and her family. On the way there,we stopped for breakfast. I haven't eaten breakfast out since my diagnosis of Pancreatitis/Diabetes in November. I've had lunch and dinner out but not breakfast. I decided to take control.

I packed a small container of I Can't Believe It's Not Butter Light, sugar free strawberry jam and a small carton of fat free cream in a small lunch box with an ice pack.

I ordered an egg white omelet,dry toast and coffee. (Lillianna and Rich ate the home fries.) It was perfect!! I had everything that I wanted and I didn't feel deprived at all. Plus,I didn't have to go off my eating program.

I also brought food for when I got to my sister-in-law's house. I did eat a hamburg for lunch with a teaspoon of macaroni salad, a teaspoon of potato salad and a lot of regular salad. I ate sugar free jello before that since I was starving and lunch wasn't ready yet. For dessert,instead of birthday cake,I ate one of my sugar free oatmeal cookies. (Three cookies is one serving.)

Dinner was a repeat of lunch and I couldn't eat 2 hamburgs in one day. Too much fat for me. I heated up the chicken,broccoli and low carb pasta that I had brought. I had a heaping bowl of salad so that I would stay away from the macaroni salad and potato salad that I had sampled earlier.

At dessert time,I had a cup of coffee with one more sugar free cookie. I was pleased with my day. I had a fun time with my family which was great but the important thing was that I was in complete control of my food.

When we got home at 11:30pm,I checked my blood sugar. It was 134. Pretty darn good! I was very proud of myself!!

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LILLIANNA'S FIRST HAMBURG!

Lillianna is a picky eater like Rich. This year,she has started to eat steak after years of not eating meat other than chicken nuggets.(Who knows if nuggets are really even a food??)

Yesterday,my brother-in-law grilled hot dogs,hot links and hamburgs. I walked over to Lillianna with great hope in my heart and told her the menu. Then I asked,"Would you like to try a hamburg? It's just steak in a patty."

She didn't even hesitate when she said,"Sure." I almost fell over from shock,
I made her a sandwich with some lettuce and she gobbled it all up.
My child at her first hamburg!!!!.......and she liked it!!

This is a news flash in our family. It's the unthinkable. Lillianna is really branching out. We are all so proud of her!! She even had a half of another burger for dinner. Wonders will never cease!

Forever fifty-one

May 21st would've been Dad's 70th birthday. You can read this post over at DotMoms.

Shopping trip update

Well,I did it. I shopped 'til I dropped! Lillianna sat patiently in the dressing room while I tried on clothes,got more,tried on more,got more again and tried those on.It took two hours!!

I bought 2 bras,which thrilled me! I have been buying my bras in Lady Grace for years since no regular store carries the size I need. It's sad.....really it is. Today I felt normal for the first time in a long time just because I could buy my bras off the rack!

I also bought 2 cute shirts.They're the ones that are supposed to be worn wrinkled. Lillianna asked me how I was going to fight the urge to iron them. I'm not sure about that but I think I can do it. They look good wrinkled.

I bought 2 pairs of jeans;one long and one capris....or is it capri? Well,whatever. You know what I mean. I also bought 3 pants that were all the same style. Although I won't say what size they were,I will say that they are a size I haven't worn in 13 years. I think the pants I wore to pick Rich up at the airport in October 1993 were the same size and I haven't been that size since! I'll admit they are a tiny bit snug but the next size up were way too baggy and Lillianna gave me a look as she tugged at the excess material and shook her head. So,I bought the smaller size. I think if I lose 3-5 more pounds they'll be perfect.

So,that was my shopping trip. I feel happy and proud. Lillianna hugged me and her hands got all the way around me. Whenever she hugs me and almost touches her hand she says,"You're getting there." Today,I got there.

While I was heating up dinner in the kitchen she said,"You know,Mom,I'm really proud of you for doing so well and losing the weight." We focus on the fact that I am much healthier now because of the way I eat and exercise and I will never go back to my unhealthy ways. All in all,today was a very tiring but wonderful day.

Shopping trip

Over the past 7 months, I have bought one pair of pants and 3 t-shirts for myself. Right now,those are the only clothes that actually fit me. Luckily, I had clothes in my closet that were a smaller size than I was in November and they still had the tags on them,so they were new to me. I thought I looked ok in them until Kara saw me at Lillianna's recital last weekend. She gave me the once over,laughed,and said,"You have to buy some new clothes. Those are way too big on you!"

Sometimes I don't realize how big a difference losing 49 pounds has made. I often look in the mirror and just see this overweight person who needs to lose another 50+ pounds. The reality is,49 pounds is a lot of weight. Lillianna weighs 52 pounds. When I look at her and realize I basically lost the weight of my 8 year old child,it kind of puts it in perspective.

After school today,we are heading to Wal-Mart so that I can buy a pair of jeans, a couple of pair of pants and maybe a couple of shirts. This is my first shopping trip in a long time and I am nervous and excited.

I'll let you know how it turns out!

Rewarding negative behavior

I never do it! I don't believe in giving Lillianna a "treat" of any kind when she misbehaves. I don't coax her into behaving properly with promises like,"If you stop crying,I'll buy you __________,"(fill in the blank) or, "If you pick up your toys,I'll make you an ice cream sundae." If I ask her to do something then she needs to do it. There is no negotiating.

If she is behaving badly,I usually threaten to take something away: her next Brownie meeting, her next dance lesson,a birthday party or her favorite show.This has never failed in 8 years. The key is that she knows I mean what I say.

I have often said I just don't have the patience to raise a brat. Sadly,some moms have more patience than I do and I think we all suffer for that.

I just got back from the supermarket after picking up a few items. As I walked down the first aisle,I encountered a mom with her 4 year old son who was already wiggling out of the cart. She tried to get him to sit down and as he did,he decided to become an ambulance siren. He made a loud Woowoowoowoowooo which made my head spin. The mom said nothing.

In an effort to quiet her son,she asked a store employee to go to the bakery and get her son some free cookies. The older gentleman walked briskly to the other side of the store. As I approached the middle of the store,I saw him handing the boy 3 cookies. He quieted down.

Nice lesson that boy taught his mom. Give me snacks or I will make enough noise to give you a migraine.

Who do you think is in control in that family??

Being rude!

Last year or the year before,I entered a Rude Contest. I had to submit a story about the rudest thing that had ever happened to me. Sadly, I had more than one. I received an email from the head of this contest saying that she doesn't usually respond to the contestants personally but she loved the stories that I submitted and she wished me luck in the contest. I didn't win. I didn't even think the top winners had funny stories. Oh well. That's life.

I was just going through my folders and found my submission so I figured I would share them here. Why let the rudeness go to waste??

1)When I was 25 I worked for an optical shop. A man in his late sixties came in to pick up his eyeglasses. As I gave the glasses a final adjustment the man glared at my name tag.

"Robin," he said slowly as he glared at me. "So, do you go bob bob bobbin' along?"

I tried to ignore him as I put his glasses in the leather case. Not taking my silence as any kind of hint he continued, "So, Robin, do you have a red breast?" I put his glasses on the counter and walked in the back room.


2)Back in the early 90's, ribbed pants with matching tops were all the fashion rage. I was coaching my sister's high school cheerleading squad at the time and as a gift the girls gave me a matching ribbed outfit. I loved it and everyone said how great I looked in it. One day I wore it to work at the ophthalmology practice where I worked as a technician. I had just finished an eye exam for a gentleman in his 70s when he asked, "So, when are you due?"

Confused by his question I asked, "Due for what?"

He pointed to my stomach."When are you due?"

Finally understanding his question, I was horrified. "I'm not pregnant!" I replied angrily.

"Yes, you are," he said in a matter-of-fact tone.

Knowing 100% that I was not pregnant, I said,"I am definitely not pregnant!" Not giving up and becoming angry, he said,"I am never wrong about these things and you ARE pregnant! Just look at your clothes!"

I looked him straight in the eye and gasped, "My clothes? This is the latest fashion!"

"Hmmmph," he snorted. "Latest fashion? You don't know anything about fashion! That is an ugly outfit and you should never wear it again!" And with that last remark he stomped off.


3)While working in an ophthalmology practice, I called a patient into the exam room to see her doctor. A grumpy woman in her late 70s muttered under her breath as I pointed her towards the exam chair. Before I left the room she barked at me, "Well, what is your name?" she asked as she pointed a wagging finger at me.

I smiled as politely as I could and replied, "Robin."

She began to sputter. "Robin? Robin? What kind of name is Robin? What was your mother reading ,a dime store novel when she named you?"


4)A patient in his 50s came in for a quick follow up visit with the ophthalmologist that I work for. All I had to do was check his vision and find out if his chronic eye problem was improving. As soon as I called his name in the waiting room, I could tell he was going to be a challenge. Every question was answered with a sarcastic tone.

"How is your eye feeling?" I asked.

"You tell me," he grumbled.

"Do you feel like your vision has gotten any better?"

"You tell me," he repeated.

I gave him the occluder to hold on his nose which blocks one eye at a time so that the vision can be checked. He stuck the handle on the top of his head and rolled his eyes at me. After a difficult time checking his vision, I asked him if he had any health changes since his last visit. He said he had been diagnosed with rectal-itis. I had never heard of this before so I asked when he was diagnosed. He said at the last visit with his eye doctor.I really began to doubt him but I finally gave in and asked,
"What is that?" He smirked at me and said, "It's a disease that starts in your eye and it gives you a crappy attitude towards life!"

What's the rudest comment you've encountered?

How did this happen?

This post is over at The Lighter Side.

Lillianna's dance recital

Today was Lillianna's dance recital. As usual, I cried through the first dance. She was dressed in white jazz pants with silver glitter,a matching white top which had sort of a sleeve on the left shoulder and a spaghetti strap on the right shoulder and a headband of white poofy feathers. She tap danced to Polar Express.

It was such an upbeat and advanced number and it made me happy that I had switched her into the "older" class this past year. It's always a challenge to actually see her through the blur of my tears but I do my best. Later in the car I asked her,"Do you ever think there will be a time when I won't cry at your recital?" Lillianna answered sarcastically,"I wouldn't count on it!" Ya,she's probably right.

Her ballet dance was beautiful. It's amazing how far these girls have come in five years. Some of the same numbers for the little ones get repeated year after year so when "Wake up, Warm up" was done by the 4 year olds,I looked over to Lillianna and said, "I remember when you did this." Apparently she doesn't remember at all so I will have to show her the scrap book I made of her first recital that has her doing that dance.

Her jazz dance was very jazzy indeed as she danced to "The Witch Doctor." You know,the one that goes, "ooh eeh ooh ah ah ting tang walla walla bing bang...." All the girls were right in step,shaking their hips,making jazz squares and smiling all the while. My heart just burst with pride.

The finale was "We're all in this together," from High School Musical. I was kind of sad to see it all end. My mom said,"Thank G-d she can dance!" There seemed to be quite a few kids,many older than Lillianna,who didn't know what they were doing and they looked quite uncomfortable being on stage. Lillianna practices her dance steps any time she has floor space and she simply loves to be on stage!

Well,we have about nine more recitals to go before she graduates high school. I don't want to think about how many tissues I'll go through on that day. I'll just take them one year at a time and savor each recital as it comes.

I'm very proud of you,Lillianna. As usual,you were a super star!

I have seen the enemy and it's name is Pollen!

I have been really lucky this year (knock on wood) because I didn't have the 3 sinus infections/flu that I get every winter. I chalk that up to the Pneumonia shot and Flu shot that the nurse practioner made me get in December. She said that it's worse being sick when you have diabetes so she strongly suggested I get both. I did.

So here we are in May,five months after my shots. I stayed healthy all winter but yesterday at work,I started to feel congested and my throat hurt. This morning I got out of bed at 3:30am due to my post nasal drip which caused excessive choking and coughing.My ears are blocked. My nose is stuffy and my throat is still dripping.I think it is due to the high pollen count. Damn pollen!!

I have been using my prescription nasal spray,Sudafed and sugar free Robitussin cough syrup. That usually gets me back on track. I sure hope it works fast since Lillianna's dance recital is at 12:30pm tomorrow.

Not a good morning

This morning was not my best morning.

#1.....Lillianna "forgot" to read for 20 minutes yesterday which is part of her daily homework and has been since September. If she doesn't bring in a reading slip signed by me with how many minutes she read for,she has to sit at her desk with her head down and lose 5 minutes of recess.

When she realized this,she went crazy. She threw a tantrum and then blamed me and Rich because we didn't "let" her read. Uhm,well...she had 3 1/2 hours to do this while she was at my Mom's house yesterday and another 2 hours once she came home.She reminded Rich at 9pm that she had to read.

Long story short:my morning started out with hysteria! Not the way I wanted to begin my day.

#2......I wanted to walk Lillianna to school today to calm her down and to get my 30 minute walk in before heading to the gym to work on the Nautilus equipment. Her tantrum took longer than I had thought so when we got to school,it was a ghost town. A tumbleweed greeted us at the crosswalk....no crossing guard. Crap! We were late. I brought Lillianna into the office and they gave her a late pass. I walked back home.

#3......I walked up to the gym after breakfast. I remembered how to use the ab cruncher but I wasn't sure about the rest of the stuff. I went downstairs to the office and asked if someone could come up and review the equipment with me. No one can help me until Monday. I walked back home.

I will walk another 30 minutes when I get Lillianna this afternoon but I felt like a loser and that I wasted my time.

#4.....I called my mechanic because my engine light is back on even though they cleared it last week. It will cost over $300 to have it fixed. I have to have it done.

I want to cry or eat something but since I don't binge eat anymore,I have no way to vent my frustration and sadness. Oh,Chinese food,where are you when I need you?

I hope this day gets better!!

Pearls of sweat

I went to the gym today! You can read this post over at The Lighter Side.

The Brownie autograph book

Today was Lillianna's last Brownie troop meeting. The girls make an autograph book on the last day and everyone signs it. Four of the girls are moving on to Girl Scouts next year and Lillianna will be joining a Brownie troop in our own town instead of the one that is two towns away.

I opened her autograph book to see what her friends wrote and on the first page one of the girls wrote:

Lilly,
I will miss you because you have been nice to me and have never been mean to me.

That broke my heart. It makes it sound like people have not been nice to her and if that's true,it is too painful to think about.She is only 9 years old.

I showed this to one of the troop leaders and told her who wrote it and she said,"Yes,she has had a very hard life. She has really been through a lot."
I don't know all the details but this really broke my heart.

Lillianna's quote of the day

I was in the kitchen washing the dishes before dinner when Lillianna came in and hugged me.
"You're the best mom,ever," she said as she squeezed me tightly. Before I could reply she said,"You deserve to have a daughter like me!" I laughed as I kissed the top of her head. She's right!

My mother's day resolution

Every January 1st, I make one New Year's resolution. I try to make it something reasonable because otherwise,I will just set myself up to fail.

This morning I decided to straighten things up a bit so that when we come home tonight,we won't be walking in to a mess. Rich cleaned up this weekend but this morning I threw dishes in the sink that I didn't wash until 1pm. I finally put the laundry away and I cleaned the bathroom.

The New Year's resolution that I made last year that I had trouble keeping was "clean up as I go along." Messy + busy= disaster. I run through this place like a tornado sometimes,rushing from one activity to the other. I throw things and let them fall where they may as I dash out the door again. When I return,it looks like the apartment was burglarized.

After I cleaned today,I looked around and thought,"Hey,that wasn't so bad!" I decided to make a Mother's Day resolution to be a neater and more organized mom. I'm going to do my best to keep this.

What mom resolution would you make this Mother's Day?

My shortest post

I hate two-faced people!! That's all I want to say.

A trip to the gym

Well, I am on my way to the gym in our apartment complex. Someone is going to show me how to use the equipment in just 20 minutes. I have never gone to a gym before because I hate working out. I joined a gym years ago so that I could attend the step aerobics class but that's all I did. This will be "for real."

I took a weight lifting class in college but....well.....I didn't lift anything. Tony was the instructor and he was my roommate Kyra's boyfriend. Kyra and I dressed up in matching sweat suits,make-up and jewelry with our hair perfectly done and we walked like a princess to the gym. We listened to Tony talk for 5 minutes then we told him we were going to the student union for coffee and donuts.

Sometimes,out of guilt,we actually used the equipment for 5 minutes before leaving but many times,Kyra kissed Tony and before he could say no,we were gone. We both got an "A" in that class. It's not fair,I know,but she was sleeping with the teacher,afterall!

Today's trip to the gym isn't for a grade. It's to keep me healthy and to tone the wiggly skin from losing 46 pounds. I am hoping to lose another 30 pounds by my sister Kara's wedding in September. I just hope I can stay on the machines for more than 5 seconds without hating it.



(Update: I did the treadmill,bike and elliptical. I crunched my abs,strengthened my arms,biceps,triceps and something called latts??? I stretched my hamstrings and lifted weights. My legs feel like limp noodles. I can't wait to go back tomorrow!!!!)

When will it get better?

I have been hanging on for years. When I realized we needed more money 3 1/2 years ago I got another job. Between the two of them I work 30 hours a week. I am also a stay-at-home mom if it doesn't matter that I don't really stay at home. I work around Lillianna's school time and I am gone all weekend but I am home every day after school for her.
Rich works 40 hours a week at a job he hates but he hasn't found anything better in the past 3 years.

Today,I was bombarded with bills and I nearly burst into tears. Everyone wants my money and I just don't have it to give,no matter how hard we work. I still have a pending doctor's bill from when I was sick in Florida in November. I am being billed by one of my jobs for an exam that I had there even though every other exam in the past 16 years has been free. Now they say my insurance won't pay and I need to pay it. So much for that perk! It's the last one they offered and now that's gone! Lillianna's pediatrician just sent me a bill from March for the balance of a strep test.The bills just go on and on.

It's very depressing and Rich always promises that it's going to get better. I always believe him and then things stay the same or get worse.I need to know when will it get better?

How do you deal with being overwhelmed by bills?

(Hula,if you read this...please don't tell me to do the bills naked....too many paper cuts!)

Thank goodness for music

Today is a beautiful day. They say it could be in the 80's. All our windows are open and I guess I'm ready to start getting my chores done. After I feed the goats and milk the cows.....oh...never mind....it just looks like barnyard animals live here!

Actually,I have to stir fry my veggies and make chicken cutlets with lemon sauce for my weekend meals. Then I have to clean this messy place up before I leave at 2:15pm to walk up to school to get Lillianna.

After that,she has her formal recital pictures scheduled at 4pm. I will have to re-do what's left of her curls,get her in her costume and do her make-up before we head off to the dance studio.

I have my favorite country CD playing in our DVD player and now I will cook and clean to music. Wish me luck......I hate to clean!!

Curlers in your hair......shame on you!

Is there anyone old enough to remember that commercial? I'm not even sure what they were advertising....maybe it was Lilt home perm? Anyway,for Lillianna's first dance recital,five years ago,I curled her hair. I did the same thing for her 2nd recital. The past two years she has put her foot down and said she wanted it straight. I held off on the curlers because I am a mom who listens to her child...until this year.

Lillianna will have her formal recital portrait taken at dancing school tomorrow.She is now sitting on my bed in her baby doll pajamas,munching on a chocolate rice cake, and all I can see are the big pink curlers in her hair. She looks adorable!

Tonight will be a lumpy sleep for her but I guess that's the price of beauty,right?

The challenge of homework

Sometimes I have to remind myself that I am an intelligent human being when it comes to figuring out Lillianna's homework. Today's post about homework is over at DotMoms.

Are you kidding me with this??

This post is over at The Lighter Side.
If you have seen this commercial,please tell me what the beginning is! Thanks.

I'm not in the circus so why am I required to juggle?

I looked at the calendar today and it stressed me out. May is going to be a very busy month for us. I work Thursday and Saturday mornings as an ophthalmic technician and if I have to take off one of those days,I try to make it up on another day so that I don't lose the money. I don't love this job but the money is good and I've worked here for 16 years.

Next week,I am chaperoning Lillianna's field trip so I took Thursday off and then I had to take Saturday morning off too for her dancing school dress rehearsal. I also volunteer in her class that Friday morning for computer class. When I looked at the calendar,I couldn't make sense of it.

The only day to make up Thursday and Saturday would be Friday and I would have to work 8 hours instead of 4. That means not volunteering Friday and checking with the mom who shares this day with me and make sure she is going to be in school for the kids that day. Then I will have to ask my mom to pick Lillianna up from school and bring her to her house until I get there at 5:15pm.

The whole month looks like that. I have to keep juggling days in order to do what I need to do for Lillianna and still keep my hours the same at work. We can't afford any loss in pay. I asked Rich if he could pick up some extra overtime at work so hopefully that will take the burden and stress off of me during this time.

How do you handle a busy schedule?

A very special gift.

Liane and I have been best friends since we met in Mr.Bucceri's 7th grade science class. We traveled through our teen years together side by side,always ready with a willing shoulder to cry on if one of us needed it. We also laughed about things only the two of us could possibly understand.We called ourselves Laverne and Shirley. She was quiet and sweet like Shirley and I was a bit louder like Laverne. We made the perfect team.

When we were in 9th grade,I told her about the crush I had on Tony who was 2 years older than us. Ok,he was not an attractive guy but I fell in love with his singing voice. He didn't know I even existed. Strangely,when I heard he wanted to date Liane,I wasn't even upset. Who wouldn't want to date her? She was great. The only hitch was that Liane didn't like Tony at all so she politely declined his invitation. She never wanted to hurt anyone's feelings. I thought she had the kindest heart in the world.

We have been through so many things over the past 30 years.It's just amazing to think about it all. Liane knew my dad and my grandparents. Other than my friend,Barry,I don't have any friends who knew me when my dad and grandparents were alive. I was different back then,young and carefree! When I talk about my dad or grandparents, Liane knows exactly what I mean. There is such a comfort in that for me.

Liane has lived out of the country for the past 6 years and that has been hard for both of us. She will be back in the country for at least 2 years starting this summer. We are both very excited about this. She won't have to worry about the 15 hour time difference when she calls me since she will be in the same time zone when she returns. We will still be quite a few hours away by car,(I think it's 9!),but at least we can talk more frequently on the phone. That will be such a gift for both of us.

She sent me an email the other day explaining about a package she had her husband send me when he came to the states for business. She had packed it in a hurry so that he could mail it from here so she didn't have time to enclose a note. She told me that she was proud of how hard I have worked to change my eating plan and to lose the weight I needed to lose in order to be healthy. She sent me a necklace with three strands of pearls because she said I deserved it.

I cried when I read that email. Who does things like that? Liane....that's who! I couldn't wait to get that package. It arrived the other day,in a gorgeous blue velvet box. When I saw the pearls,my heart felt like it was being squeezed. No one but Liane could've thought of this gift for me. It was just what I needed to feel good about myself and to stay motivated.

I have decided that I am going to wear my pearls every chance that I get. I hate saving things for "a special occasion" because they don't always come along as often as I would like. I also think the fact that I am alive and healthy is pretty special so if you see me wearing my pearls with jeans and a t-shirt,don't be surprised. I will probably be wearing them a lot!

What gift from a friend meant the most to you?

My very odd husband

I have seen a lot of funny posts with the title,"Ten things I hate about my husband." I guess that's just one of those topics going around. I don't actually hate anything about Rich but he is kind of odd.

Here are a few things that make me roll my eyes at him.

1. He refuses to put my Tupperware salad dressing containers in the kitchen drawer where they belong. Instead,he stacks them in the cabinet above the drawer with the drinking glasses. They always fall out because there is no room up there. No matter how many times I remind him,he never puts them in the drawer. Ya,he has control issues.

2. Whenever he goes to his friend Bill's house to plan a war game,he takes my car. Hey,that's fine with me,but he never puts the seat back to my position! I usually forget that he took my car so when I get in it the next morning,I find myself practically sitting in the back seat!! He pushes it too far back for me. I can't reach the pedals from that position.Lately,to add insult to injury,he leaves an empty candy wrapper in my car. Mess up your own car!

3. Lillianna and I went to Build a bear workshop with her Brownie troop on Monday. Rich insisted that we get a bear this time.Lillianna built a bunny. Now we have three dogs and one bunny. Rich can not come to terms with the fact that we have been to Build a BEAR and haven't once brought home a bear. Rich refers to the bunny as a bear which drives us both crazy!!

What odd thing does your husband do?

Should I allow a limo ride?

Lillianna is invited to her friend's birthday party this weekend. I just called to RSVP and I was asked if it would be ok if Lillianna rode in a limousine to get pizza. This was the birthday girl's request and the mom couldn't give her the pool party that she wanted so she is trying to plan the limo ride as a surprise.
Let's say *I* was very surprised.

Lillianna is still 16 pounds under the weight to be out of a booster seat in the car. I have allowed her to go without it when there has been a situation where it just wasn't possible to have her in the booster but I always worry about it. We don't think there are even seat belts in a limo and this leaves me with a problem.

Sure,Lillianna has been on a school bus which has no seat belts and the Disney shuttle and so forth but a limo is a car and it is definitely not a huge bus. I asked her how she felt and she said she wouldn't be comfortable in a limo without seat belts. I work Saturday night and Rich will be out all night waiting for recital tickets so I don't have the luxury of drivinig her back and forth to the pizza place.

I will know during the week whether there are seat belts in this limo or not. Then I have to make my decision. My first impulse is to say NO but I am sure I'm the only mom worried about this. Lillianna is my precious child and I don't want to make a dumb mistake just so she will fit in and be one of the girls. My heart is telling me no.

Would you let your young child ride in a limo without seat belts?

Too slow for me

Weight loss can be a very slow process when it's done correctly. For an impatient person like me,sometimes this drives me crazy. You can read this post at The Lighter Side.

So....you want to live in the United States.....

....THEN LEARN TO SPEAK ENGLISH!!!!!!!
This is ridiculous. What a waste of money. How dare these people think they can come to our country,not learn the English language and be catered to like they are above everything! I am sorry that they didn't enjoy their life in the country where they were born and I don't mind them living here if they would learn the language and get a damn job!!

I would rather see this intrepretor money used on teaching these people English. That way they can communicate and work just like the rest of us!! No exceptions!!

What do you think??

Lillianna's Easter post

Lillianna finally wrote about Easter. Ok,so she's a week late but better late than never,right? You can read it here.

It's almost never about the food!

Here's another post for you to read over at The Lighter Side.

Emotions drive me to eat

There are so many of us in this world that are emotional eaters! I am one of them.
Come over to The Lighter Side and read Chandra's post,Emotions drive me to eat.

Surprises

Today's post,Surprises, is over at DotMoms.

Dreaming of the day.......

Some people have a particular outfit that they dream of wearing once they are done dieting. Not me. I have a different dream. One day,I want to be able to walk out of the shower and wrap a regular sized bath towel around me without any body parts falling or hanging out. That's all I want.
Is that too much to ask? Huh? Is it??

How much higher can the price go?

I nearly crashed my car into a pole when I drove by my gas station today and the price said $2.77 per gallon. It was $2.69 yesterday. Apparently,they are guesstimating that it should be well over $3.00 by Memorial Day. How will we afford that?

How high is gas where you live?

I've been tagged? How interesting.

Well,apparently,I've been tagged by SurvivingSingleMom.
I am supposed to write weird facts about myself and then tag 6 people. It doesn't say how many weird things I am supposed to write so I'll just see where this takes me.


1. I lived on a kibbutz in Israel from June 1985-August 1997. I still keep in touch with 2 of my dearest friends from that time. Charlotte lives in Denmark and Karen lives in England. Thank goodness for email!

2. I have one children's book written and one partially written and I am still too chicken to send them to a publisher. My dream is to be a writer but how can I do that if I am never published?

3. I am very close to my mom and my sister Kara. We talk to each other between one and four times every day,depending on what's going on. They're quick calls but we rarely miss a day unless one of them is out of range on vacation.

4. I won a Pepsi-Cola radio on Boomtown when I was 5 years old. I wish I still had it!

5. I was on the Bozo show twice when I was younger.

6. I tried out for Zoom when I was 12 but obviously,I didn't make it!


Well that's it. Now I have to tag 6 people? Yikes!
Ok.....

Hula Doula
Mean Teacher
Silver Linings
Mad Mommy Chronicles
Halloween Lover
Fish Out Of Water


I should probably let them know,right?

Here are the rules of this tag:
1.Go write weird facts/things/etc. about yourself in my comment box and on your blog, then tag six more people!
2. Then leave a comment that says "You are tagged" in their comments telling them to read your blog. ENJOY!

Another one bites the dust

This post is over at The Lighter Side,today.

Being deprived is never the answer

Today I started writing for The Lighter Side. It's basically a blog to talk about our struggles with weight loss. We offer encouragement,support and our stories of success and set backs. We're just real people trying to deal with a difficult subject. You can read my first post here.

Update my account?......no thank you!

I received an email last night from Chase Bank. The subject said,"Update your Chase.com Account." Hmmm....I wasn't aware that I had an account with Chase.

The email said:
"You have received this email because you or someone had used your account from different locations.......we require that you confirm your banking information......if we do not receive appropriate account verification within 48 hours then we will assume this Chase Bank account is fraudulent and it will be suspended."

I clicked on the link and it went right to the Chase website. I looked on switchboard.com for an 800 number for Chase. I called it this morning. It was their mortgage branch. They checked their records and did not have me on any account with their company. They referred me to their abuse hotline.

Apparently,this email was sent out to customers as well as non customers. It's a phishing scam.
She gave me the email address to forward the email to the abuse department. She said it was a good thing I didn't give anyone my information. I told her I felt like this was a fraud but what really tipped me off was the typo at the end of the email. The word Department was spelled as Departament!! Rich said,"With all the money Chase Bank has,I am sure they have proofreaders for their emails!" So true. So true!!

Be careful out there folks! Never give out any information online!

It's good to have friends

The other day,when Lillianna and I were walking to school,she was talking about her friend Hannah. Apparently,Hannah had worn a skirt the day before and when it was reading time,Miss L.told the kids they could lie on their stomach to read. Hannah just gave Lillianna a look that told her she wasn't going to be doing that while wearing a skirt.

One of their other skirt wearing friends was a bit braver but she asked Lillianna to check to see if her skirt was ok when she was lying down. Lillianna assured her that she was indeed just fine.

Lillianna said to me,"So that's why it's a good idea to have friends.....they can check your skirt to make sure nothing is showing."

I said,"When you get older,it's definitely a great idea to have friends to check more than if your skirt is where it should be." She looked at me in her curious way and I said,"Well,when a girl has her period and she is in school,she walks close to her friend,discreetly taps her on the leg and through clenched teeth,like a ventriloquist,says,"Check me. Check me." She then walks ahead of her friend so that she can check to see if her bulky pad is visible or if anything is leaking. That's why it's good to have friends!" Lillianna thought that was pretty funny.

Then I explained that all girls did that when I was in school and perhaps they still do. Of course now all products claim to be leak proof so maybe you don't need friends afterall?

Did you play the "Check me! Check me!" game when you were in school? Do you think girls still do that?

Do you know anything about Lyme Disease?

My sister told me that one of her friends, "T", has a 3 year old daughter with Lyme Disease. I have known T since she was in junior high school and it makes me so sad that she is going through such a hard time. Apparently her daughter's personality has changed since she was diagnosed with this disease and T is at her wit's end.

She has looked online for more information and she doesn't feel like she is getting any help from her doctor. She would love to join or start a Lyme Disease support group.

If you know of anyone who has Lyme Disease or who has a child with it,could you please have them contact me?
If you have your own blog,would you please ask your readers if they can offer any help or support? I would greatly appreciate it.

Thank you so much for your help!

Just another reason to hate this school

I don't like the elementary school that Lillianna goes to. I do love her teacher this year,though. Miss L is the best teacher on this planet as far as I can figure but this school is just a nightmare for me.

One of my biggest complaints is about the drop off\pick up area. Last year my car got hit and of course Mrs.S,the principal never responded to the letter that I sent to her about this. She never seems to care about anything.I am not the only one who has complaints about her either.

Since the weather has been good recently,I have been walking Lillianna to and from school just about every day. In addition to this being a great way to exercise,Lillianna and I chat along the way and it's a lot of fun.It puts me in a good mood first thing in the morning. I like that.

This morning,after we crossed over the driveway where the parents drop off their kids,Mrs. S yelled from where she was standing at the beginning of the walkway which leads to the front door,

"MRS.PICCINI.....STOP WHERE YOU ARE!" With the tone of voice she was using,I thought her next line would be,"PUT DOWN THE GUN AND LET THE LITTLE GIRL GO FREE!" She did say something but I didn't hear her. I had stopped right where I was because I didn't know if something was wrong. I yelled back,"What did you say?" She repeated,"MRS.PICCINI....STOP WHERE YOU ARE AND LET LILLIANNA WALK THE REST OF THE WAY ALONE."

I thought it would be rude to yell back,"DON'T YOU F%^$#@ TELL ME HOW FAR TO WALK MY CHILD YOU PIECE OF SH--!!" So,I hugged and kissed Lillianna,told her to have a good day and walked away. I was pissed,though. It's not a congested area and I only walk Lillianna up to the beginning of the walkway where the teachers there greet each child with a huge smile and a "GOOD MORNING! How are you today??" I told one of the teachers that if he greeted me at work like that I would be guaranteed a wonderful day.

I was fuming on the way home. I hate this principal. What does she care if I walk my child to the walkway? I don't stand there for hours and block the way for the other children.

Rich and I have our parent/teacher conference tonight with Miss L. If I see Mrs.S,I am going to want to say something,I really am.

What would you do?

classmates.com.....I don't know about this

Rich wanted to become a gold member of classmates.com so that he could read the messages that his classmates have been sending him. I think it was like $50 for him to do this for one or two years, so I gave him my credit card and he signed up.

I had just been browsing my own high school and before I knew it,it submitted my name to a list. Then it said that I had a free membership for a month. Ok,fine,whatever. Everyone I want to connect with,I already know how to contact. I don't have any great love for the rest of them. I will be happy to see them at our 25th reunion this year,if I decide to go,but I don't have any desire to meet up with them before that time.

Our class president,Joe, is someone I was very good friends with in high school. He actually lives a few houses away from my aunt and I bumped into him 2 years ago when we went trick or treating in that neighborhood. So,classmates.com popped up and asked if I wanted to email him. Why the heck not? So I sent him a quick email asking about the reunion. I got a return message back saying,"If you want Joe to be able to read this email,sign up to be a gold member." Are you kidding me? I can't even email him one single email without signing up and paying another $50?

Then it said I could view my email that was sent to Joe. So I did. The message said that the email was sent but it wasn't paid for. Is this like sending a letter postage due? How humiliating. This is quite a little scam and I am not going back to that website for my class. I'll just wait til the damn reunion.

Are you a gold member of classmates.com?

911 operators should be fired!!

I couldn't believe it when I read this.

I actually heard the 911 call on the news and both operators were so unbelievably bitchy,I can't believe they still have a job. The disinterested,sarcastic and condescending tone they used when they answered the phone was disgusting. "911,What's your problem?" What's my problem? Are you serious? This is considered a greeting?
Why don't they just say,"911....F^&% YOU!" It's the same tone.

I work for a medical answering service and if we ever answered,"Dr.Hoopdedoo's office. What's your problem?" we'd be fired! We ask,"How may I help you?"
That gives the caller the impression that I care about them and I am willing to help them in any way that I can. That's what my job is.

I would think that a 911 operator would also be interested in helping someone who calls. I understand that people call 911 for stupid things:directions,the weather or medical questions but for goodness sake,there are many real callers out there who have an emergency! That can't be taken lightly.

The 5 year old boy clearly said,"My mother passed out." How stupid is the operator when she said,"Let me speak to her." Hello!!!!! Do you know what passed out means??
The mother can't talk. What kind of training did this idiot get before they let her answer a live call?

The worst part is,the boy's lawyer said that he believes each call was answered by a different operator. That means at least 2 freakin' morons are answering life threatening calls and blowing them off because they think it's a prank call. They both asked,"What's your problem?" when they answered the phone. Maybe they shouldn't work with people. They totally suck at this!!

I have told Lillianna that if G-d forbid I pass out or she thinks something is wrong with me,she should call 911 and immediately say,"My mother is a diabetic, and something is wrong." I pray,that if I am ever in that situation,the 911 operator will send help....immediately!

The lawyer is suing the operators but no amount of money will bring that little boy's mother back! His life is forever changed because 2 stupid,bitchy women didn't give a shit about a little boy who was trying to save his mother. In my mind,they caused her death and should be put in jail! The lawyer said they could tell by the autopsy that if the first 911 call had been answered,the mother would've lived.

What do you think the operators' punishment should be?

Question of the day

On my way home from walking Lillianna to school this morning,I saw a woman coming toward me. I thought,"This is really great. Another person out exercising on this beautiful spring day." I have been walking 30-60 minutes almost every day for exercise. I love it. I feel much healthier.

As the woman got closer to me,I realized she was puffing on a cigarette. So,here's my question: Is it still considered exercise if you smoke while you walk?

Old movies. Old memories.

I just want to say I simply adore Dick Van Dyke. I always have and I always will.He is dashing and very talented. Looking at some of his dance moves and his energy is just amazing.
Lillianna and I were watching Chitty Chitty Bang Bang tonight when she fell asleep. I had to keep watching because this movie has a special meaning for me. This is the first movie that I remember going to as a child.

I was 5 years old when this came out. The theater seemed so huge and dark when Mom and I went to find our seats. I remember there was an intermission half way through the movie. It was very exciting for me.

I miss old musicals. The dancing and singing always intrigued me and it made me want to get up and join in. Thank goodness for Disney's new movie High School Musical.
We love that one. It's funny and energetic and the cast is so talented. The last song,"We're all in this together" is the finale in Lillianna's dance recital this year. They use a lot of steps from the movie.
Maybe there is hope afterall.

Do you like old fashioned musicals?
Have you seen High School Musical?

Lost and found

Yesterday I was looking at a picture of the 3 of us which was taken at Chef Mickey's,the morning my pancreatitis attack started. I took a good look at that picture and then I asked Rich,"Do you really think I look any different now than I did in this picture?"

I know I have lost 44 pounds and I do feel much thinner,but I didn't think I looked different from this picture.I squinted at the picture. Nope. I didn't see any change at all.

Rich took a good look at it and said,"Well, you don't have the double chin anymore....see?" He pointed to something on the picture. I was stunned. I knew I was way overweight but a double chin? Me?? I didn't have a double chin....did I? YIKES! I did.Why didn't anyone tell me? I was happy to have lost that extra baggage. No one needs two chins!

Later in the day, I was talking on the phone to my friend Barry and I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror. I had my head tilted a certain way and I couldn't believe what I saw. I have cheek bones! They may not be as easy to see as I might like but I saw them. They actually exist!!

I lost a chin and I gained some cheek bones. I think that is a good balance! Don't you?

Oddservations

Ya,I guess that's not actually a word you'll find in the dictionary but I just made it up. If you couldn't tell,it's a new contraction for odd observations...oddservations.

While taking a walk before work this afternoon,I noticed two things that I would label oddservations.

1)I heard one man say to the other,"Ya,man....you just don't have to worry about that shit,you really don't!" The part that was odd was that they were walking out of the church! Aren't people supposed to be respectful in a church?

2)As I was walking down a side street,I saw 6 teenage boys approaching me. One was weaving up and down the sidewalk on his bike while they all laughed and talked to one another. Several of the boys had numerous piercings on their face:nose,ear,lip,eyebrow. As they got closer to me, I could hear that their conversation was peppered with lots of bad words. I guess that's typical of teenage boys,right? The odd part was that as they passed by me,they smelled like fabric softener. I felt like I fell into a box of BOUNCE!

Did you make any oddservations today?

Not so good advice

I am in my local supermarket practically every day for one thing or another.
The older men who bag the groceries and bring them to my car are all chatty and very nice.I am always talking to them.

Today,Ed,asked me how my vacation to Disney was. I was stunned since I had talked to him about this months ago. I gave him the short version of my pancreatitis story and he said,"You know what the cure for something like is? You just have to stay away from eating chicken."

I tried not to laugh or contradict him but it was tough. At first I thought he was joking but then I realized that he was serious. He continued,"Chicken is not good for you. Chicken and steak. You have to stay away from all that fat.Then you'll be ok." I just smiled,thanked him,told him to have a great day and drove away.
I can understand cutting down on steak but chicken? What the heck is wrong with chicken?

What is the weirdest advice that you ever got?

The empty closet

I'm not actually complaining that I have nothing to wear but it is rather odd.
As I have grown out of my old clothing,I have bagged it up and donated it. Every week something else gets taken out of my closet. This morning I tried on my beige cropped pants that I bought last summer. I walked over to the huge mirror in the dining room and my mouth dropped open. I looked like I was wearing clown pants.
In the bag they go!

Desperate for something to wear to work,I took the label off of the pants that I bought 3 or 4 years ago after I lost some weight that summer. Sadly,I only kept the weight off for one or two months and then gained back an extra billion pounds.

I also found a shirt from the same summer and voila...I have something to wear. There are 3 outfits that I love in that closet but I don't dare try them on. I know I will hear the circus theme playing in the background if I do. They are 3 sizes too big! They need to join my beige pants in the donation bag but I can't seem to let go of them. I know I will never be that size again so they can't stay in the closet but if I take them out, then my closet will almost be empty.

I bought a couple of new things recently and I love wearing them. It's fun to have clothes that fit. Mom said that when she comes home from Florida in a couple of weeks,she will take me shopping for some new clothes. She's very excited for me.

Well,I guess it's time to take my 3 outfits out of that closet. They are a part of my past but I don't need them anymore.

Sensible eating isn't a secret

This post is for all the people who have emailed me to ask what kind of diet I am on.
The truth is,I'm not actually on any specific diet.I have kind of made up my own eating plan and it seems to be working. I lost another pound today so that makes 44!

A few years ago,Dr.B told me to find a healthy way of eating that I could stick to for life. My idea of "for life" was usually two weeks at the most. Then I had to "cheat" and eat something I really wanted. This bad pattern really messed me up. I'd lose a lot of weight and gain back double what I lost. I think we have all done that a time or two...or three....or four....or more. I know I certainly have.

After the pancreatitis attack this past November,I was told to go on a low sugar,low carb,low fat and low salt diet. The low sugar and low carb would help with my diabetes. The low fat would help prevent another case of pancreatitis and the low salt was for my high blood pressure. If you've ever read a box or label,you know that almost no food is low in all four areas. If it's low in one,it's high in the other three. This caused a lot of tears in the supermarket on my first few shopping trips. I've gotten better at it since then. I only cry a little now.

Many low carb foods are high in fat because low carb diets count carbs not fat.You could eat a pound of bacon which has zero carbs on a low carb diet. That could kill me now. In fact, Dr.B told me at my last visit,that eating one Chinese egg roll is enough to give me pancreatitis again. OUCH! I had hoped that eventually I could eat one but never mind! It's not that important. I flash back to my 7 days in the hospital and how much pain I was in even with the morphine and I don't find that egg roll as appealing as it once was.

So basically,I read a lot of labels and use some common sense. I know what I like and I know what makes me gag. In the beginning,I choked down some whole grain bread since it was deemed healthier than other breads. I felt like I was eating dirt. It certainly smelled that way. After a disgusting breakfast,I wanted to eat something delicious. I ended up eating more than I was supposed to. Now I just cut to the chase and eat the delicious food instead. I eat much less this way. Also,my diabetic counselor,Lynn,said that one serving of bread has 15 grams of carbs,no matter if it's white bread or a whole grain bread. She told me,"Eat what you enjoy!" What a good philosophy.

Breakfast usually consists of some type of bread.My dad was the manager of a Jewish bakery so I have a deep love for yummy bread,rolls and bagels. Dirt does not appeal to me. I tried Weight Watcher's bagels for a few weeks and then they made me gag.They had a diet smell to me and I just couldn't eat them.

Now I buy the supermarket's gourmet mini bagels which has 22 grams of carbs for the whole bagel.I use light vegetable cream cheese which has 4.5 grams of fat in 2 tablespoons which is higher than I would like but lower than other cheeses so I deal with that. I use fat free cream in my coffee which believe it or not is yummy and turns my coffee the same color as regular cream. It's delicious.

I try to only eat one portion not several portions of whatever I am eating. I use low carb bread crumbs when I make chicken cutlets instead of corn flake crumbs and I cook in canola oil instead of vegetable oil. Every little difference counts.

My big splurge is salad dressing. I have tried them all. The low fat,fat free dressings are not tasty to me. So I had to compromise.(I use a salad dressing that may only be available in my state since it is from a local restaurant.) It is an Greek oil and vinegar dressing and is high in fat. Two tablespoons of dressing have 19 grams of fat...yup...NINETEEN! I would not usually eat anything like that but here's what I do.

I put my salad in a plastic container. I measure out 2 teaspoons of dressing,not tablespoons, and pour it in the container. Then I put the cover on and shake it up. This evenly coats my salad. I'm guessing the dressing is about 7 grams of fat this way which is still high but not as bad as nineteen and I can enjoy what I am eating rather than trying to gag down a dressing I hate that is low fat or fat free.

If I eat something higher in carbs than normal, I try to get an extra walk in during my day. I try to walk at least 15-30 minutes every day. Sometimes I can do it twice a day. Some days, not at all. Last week Lillianna was home sick from school for 4 days so I didn't get out to walk at all. I don't beat myself up about these things anymore. I know I am doing my best and if today was not a great day,tomorrow can be better.

I also don't play the "ooops" game anymore. That was in the old days,B.P.(before pancreatitis)when I would be on a diet and then eat something I wasn't supposed to. After this slip,I would declare the whole day was messed up and binge until bedtime. The next day I would think, "Well,yesterday was all screwed up. I'll eat what I want this week and try again next week." Sometimes my "ooops" was on a Tuesday! I just kept giving myself permission to be off my diet.

So,what has changed for me? Why am I sticking to a good eating plan this time? Well,nothing gives you a good scare like almost dying does. I want to be alive and healthy and it took my bout with pancreatitis to wake me up. I'm awake now!!

My best advice is to read labels,be honest with yourself about what you are eating and try to fit exercise into your daily routine. I used to think that if I couldn't exercise for 30 minutes then it wasn't worth the effort.So I never got off of my butt. What I didn't realize was that almost every day,I can fit 15 minutes of walking into my schedule. That has made a huge difference. Every minute of exercise is important to me now.

I walk while Lillianna is at her Brownie meeting and when she is in dancing school. I try to walk Lillianna to and from school as often as I can. If I can do both in one day,that's an hour of walking and it's fun. Lillianna loves walking to and from school. She thinks it's a treat and she knows it's healthy for both of us.

I hope this has been helpful. I appreciate all the support I have received from my readers and I want you to know that I am here for you. Let me know if you need any more tips. It's been an interesting 5 months on this eating plan and I am amazed at how much I have learned about adapting recipes so that they are healthier for me.

Kris told me this was possible right after I got out of the hospital but I didn't believe her. How could anyone make forbidden food into a food that wouldn't kill me? Well, she sent me a low fat cookbook a few weeks ago and let me tell you,I'm hooked! It's possible to adjust high fat to low fat. It really is!! Sorry I didn't believe you,Kris!! I am going to share one of my favorite recipes. Lillianna loves these fries. The first time she ate them she said,"Even though I don't like potatoes,I love these fries....even though I know they are potatoes!" Then she laughed and asked,"Can I have some more,please?" Let me know if you try this yummy recipe.

Low-Fat French Fries

4 medium potatoes,not peeled (about 5 ounces each)
1 tablespoon oil (canola or olive)
salt to taste (optional) //I use the light salt. It has half the sodium.\malt vinegar to taste (optional)

Preheat oven to 475 degrees.

Cut potatoes into half inch slices or strips.

Place potato slices in a plastic bag with oil and shake well to coat potatoes evenly.

Spray a baking sheet with non-stick cooking spray.

Arrange potatoes in a single layer and bake for 30 minutes,or until golden brown, turning potatoes every 10 minutes.

Sprinkle with salt,and serve with malt vinegar.

Makes 4 servings.

Nutrient analysis:
calories 129
total fat 4g
saturated fat 0mg
cholesterol 0mg
sodium 8mg
total carbs 22g
dietary fiber 3g
sugars 2g
protein 2g

Our trip to the American Girl Place

Lillianna and I wrote about our trip to New York on her blog. We had a great time and I highly recommend this trip to any mom who has a daughter with an American Girl doll.

Jill Carroll is set free....I don't know about this.

This story is too odd for me. People are saying that the kidnapping was a hoax. I have kind of thought that all along.

They threatened to kill her and yet she remained alive...time and time again. While I was happy she wasn't killed,I don't find the terrorists to be a kind and loving group of people so I don't find this story to be believable. Why didn't they kill her? They killed her interpreter when she was kidnapped so why spare Jill's life? Were they all in this together? Maybe they are all Americans?

Today Jill was saying how she was treated so kindly. Cut the crap!! In one video she was crying hysterically. Were those tears of gratitude for how well she was being treated? What is the truth here?

This story is just bizarre. What do you think really happened?

A great check-up

I went to see Lynn,my nutritionist yesterday. She was thrilled with my blood sugar readings and my blood pressure. I will see her again in 3 months and if my blood sugar is a bit lower than it is now,I can cut back from 3 diabetes pills a day to 2 a day.YIPPEE! That's the news that I wanted to hear!

She was really proud of how much I have been exercising and how determined I am to keep losing more weight and controlling my blood sugar. I used to use food as a way to control my life but now I use good eating habits and exercise to control it. I like this way a lot better than the old way!

Thank you to everyone who keeps asking how I am doing with all of this. I really appreciate it. You keep me motivated!

Say thank-you to yourself

My most recent post is over at DotMoms.
I think we all are so quick to praise others but do we ever take the time to thank ourselves? That's what this post is all about.

Can anyone explain this to me?

We live in a very large apartment complex. I always drive slowly throughout the complex because there are so many kids here and you just never know when a child will suddenly dart into the road.

The other day as I was passing one of the buildings, I noticed a mom holding the hand of her 2 or 3 year old daughter. They were laughing as they walked down the walkway leading to the parking lot. The mom let go of her daughter's hand and they continued laughing as the little girl ran around to the side of their car. Her mom was not far behind her.

Suddenly,the mom saw my car and panicked. I was only going about 15MPH and I still hadn't gotten to the spot where their car was but the mom started screaming at her daughter. The little girl was now standing by the trunk of their car. The mom screamed until the girl stopped and began to cry.

When the mom got to her child,she slapped her little hands several times until her sippy cup fell to the ground. The girl was now hysterical. It was at this point that I passed their car. My heart shattered when I saw this scene.

When a child is this young,I blame the parent and not the child for a situation like this. The mom should've known better. A child of 2 or 3 should not be allowed to run free in a parking area and if they are....don't slap them!! Slap yourself for being so stupid in thinking that a child that young has really good judgment! DUH!

What do you think about this?

Forty pounds......and a half!

As of this morning,I have lost 40 1/2 pounds. I had to get the half in because it's very important to me. This has been difficult at times but it has all been worth it. I still have 60-70 more pounds to go but I'll just deal with that 5 pounds at a time.

Dr.B was pleased with my progress when I saw him on Wednesday. Sadly,my blood pressure was high so he increased my blood pressure med.....again. *sigh*
I'm hoping with more weight loss,my bp will go down.

On a happier note,my blood sugar has been great in the past 3 days. I have had 6 good and consistent readings and I am pleased with that. I am hoping I can keep that up.

I have to go check out the gym in our apartment complex this week so that I can start using it. So far, I have just been walking but I need to tone everything so I can look beautiful in my bridesmaid's dress....oh ya...and being healthy is important,of course. :)

My child can write!

Lillianna has finally written a post on her blog. It's the first one since Christmas.
It's a cute little post,so if you have a chance,please check it out!

It's working!

I lost another half of a pound today. This new plan is definitely working!
YAHOO!!

I have an appointment with my doctor tomorrow morning. I hope I get a good report!
I'll keep you posted.

Questions without answers

This was my post over at DotMomsyesterday.

Lillianna asks some of the toughest questions! Unfortunately,I don't always have an answer.

Honesty really is the best policy!

I'm a big Dr.Phil fan. He is always telling people to "Get real!" That sounds so easy but when you are the one that has to get real,it can be tough....tougher than you think.

I have to say that losing 35 pounds was not very difficult for me. I had gone from eating really high fat foods,way too many carbs and just lots of foods with empty calories,to following a low fat,low sugar,low carb eating plan. The change was so drastic that the weight came off in a timely fashion.

Over the past 2 months,I have lost and gained the same 2 pounds without really losing anything. One day I was up one pound. The next time I was down two pounds.....up a half a pound,up a half a pound,down one pound. No matter what I thought I was doing right,the weight stayed at the same number.

The other day I decided to "get real" about my eating. The truth was painful. Yes,I definitely eat healthier than I used to but I'm trying to kid myself and it's not working.

Eating one bag of sour cream and onion rice cakes is not one serving. One serving is 10 rice cakes. If I eat the bag then I am eating six servings. That is 60 grams of carbs and I am only allowed 90 grams of carbs each day. This has had a huge effect on my weight and my blood sugar.
I kept trying to tell myself I was doing the best that I could but it wasn't true. I was only pretending to do my best.

The other day I decided to cut down my portions,be careful with carbs,focus more on exercising and the big one.......no eating after dinner unless it's a low carb yogurt.With these changes in place,I felt confident that things would turn around.

This morning I lost one pound.....a real pound.....a new pound. The scale has moved on to a new lower number! Good scale! My blood sugar has been good and tonight it was the lowest ever....101. It's usually between 120-175 at night which drives me crazy. No consistency.

This progress has really encouraged me to continue to keep it real. I feel happy and proud that I took the bull by the horns and made this change. Being honest with myself hasn't been easy but is has been necessary.

Do you ever try to fool yourself? Does it work?

Magical kitchen or magical husband?

Ok,I'll admit it,I hate cleaning. Is there anyone else out there in blog land that hates cleaning too? Wow! That's a lot of raised hands! I knew I wasn't alone.

I also hate cooking but due to the diagnosis of Diabetes back in November,if I want to eat,I have to cook! That being said,I cooked a bunch of stuff yesterday:a huge pot/vat of low fat Oriental soup,a pot of low carb pasta (for the soup....by not using "real" angel hair pasta,I've cut down on the carbs. Yeah for me!)

I also made my very favorite string bean casserole without the onion rings which is what makes it "bad" for me to eat...too much fat.(Are you counting the pots,pans and utensils? It was getting messy!) Then I made some pork chops. Rich decided that they needed to go on a rack in the pan so he changed pans completely halfway through the cooking.

I microwaved left over angel hair pasta for Lillianna in it's plastic container,transfered that into another bowl so it appeared as if I were a good mother who had spent hours preparing my daughter's dinner instead of the 2 minutes it actually took to nuke it and throw a small bit of butter on it for flavor.

Then it was time for Rich and I to sit down to dinner. Add 2 plates,2 glasses and silverware to the big mess that I had already created in the ever so small kitchen and you have quite a disaster.

Rich was going over to his friend's house to trade historical lead figures for a few hours after dinner and I had a million things to do before bed. Did I mention I had to get up at 4am this morning to get ready for a walk for Hospice? I looked at Rich with sad pitiful eyes and said,"I don't want to clean this mess up."

He said,"That's okay. I'll clean it all up when I get home." He gave me a big reassuring hug. I didn't dare ask,"Are you sure?" because I didn't want him to change his mind.I thanked him and ran off to sew the metal underwire back into my bra. It had escaped earlier in the day and nearly poked my eye out. Don't ask!

When I woke up this morning,the kitchen was spotless! SPOTLESS! Just like it had been before I destroyed it.

Is my kitchen magical or is my husband magical? Never mind. I already know the answer to that question.

Thanks,Rich!!