This "new" invention looks familiar

I'm off today so instead of relaxing like I thought I would I am cleaning every single room. The t.v. is on in the background and I heard a commercial that sounded interesting so I went to see what the product looked like. Kara and Lillianna are always cold so I thought maybe this would be something I would buy for them.

The commercial was for Snuggie,the fleece blanket with sleeves.

I hate to be the one to break this to the inventor of this great product but the snuggie is A BATHROBE!!!! How is this not a bathrobe?
How did this get by the patent people? Are we so stupid that they thought we wouldn't recognize a bathrobe if it had a new name?

Maybe I'll come up with some new products too.
How about knitted finger warmers? (Don't confuse them with gloves!)
High rubber shoes that protect you from the snow. (They're kind of like boots but not boots.)
Beneath your outerwear. (Let's not say underwear since it's a new product!)

So here's my challenge: Make up some of your own new/old products and either write about them on your own blog or leave them as comments for me. We could all get rich with a new invention. That would solve our money problems!

Like Mother,Like Daughter

Lillianna got her 1st report card of 5th grade today. She got all As!!!!I didn't give it much thought before I got it but I figured she'd get As and Bs. I had no idea she'd get high honors.

That's my girl!!

Congratulations to my intelligent daughter.

An interesting headline

So the headline reads,"Why Americans are still cutting back on spending." I didn't even look at it. What new information can this article provide?
The reason that Americans are cutting back on spending is because....

WE HAVE NO FREAKIN' MONEY TO SPEND!!!


I guess that's all I have to say.

Tomorrow is Kara's birthday!!

It's all true....tomorrow Kara turns 34. Damn! I remember the day she was born. I've probably told Kara the story of her birth for the past 33 years. Sometimes it seems like she hates hearing about when she was younger so I'll spare her the story this year...maybe. We'll have to see.It's a good story and it always makes me cry.

Anyway...the funny thing is this:

I got married at 31 and Kara who was 19 at the time told me that 31 was way too old to get married for the first time. She got married at 32.
I got pregnant at 34 but by the time Lillianna was born I was 35. Kara told me that was too old to be pregnant for the first time. She is turning 34 tomorrow and she is due with her first child....probably her only one too.

I guess age is all relative..... especially when relatives are involved.

Well everyone knows that I absolutely adore my sister so with all the love in my heart I say.....Happy Birthday to my favorite sister. I hope this year will be filled with lots of joy and unexpected wonderful surprises.

On your next birthday your daughter will be 9 months old!
Just think about that!

I love you!

Don't come to my house for dinner

It's no secret that I hate to cook but tonight I made a dinner that all 3 of us like....well,at least we used to.

Lillianna has a new addiction to Soy Vay terriyaki sauce. She likes this marinade on salmon,beef tips and chicken.

Rich is kind of a bland guy but the last time I made chicken in this sauce he ate it. I made him a baked potato and made sweet potato french fries for me and Lillianna.

The chicken was too saucy and dry. Rich's baked potato was over baked and hard on the bottom. The sweet potato fries were more squishy than usual so I broiled them for a few minutes and Lillianna hated that.

Dinner was horrible event though I had the best of intentions.
So,if you're looking for a good meal don't come to my house for dinner. Apparently I can't cook!

I could get my master's degree

Yup....it's all true. I could get my master's degree in just 15 months. I thought something like that was time consuming but hey... 15 months is just a bit over one year. I know people who spent years getting that thing. Idiots!

The internet ad says I can get my degree online,any time,any where. That's just awesome. I can be anything I want to be even if I've never taken a course before. Golly gee....college life has sure changed since I was in school. I think I'll be something wicked smaht...ya know,like a professa.

So....whaddya think?

What's the big deal about being gay?

Clay Aiken recently revealed he was gay. I read an article about him and he said he was afraid his fans would be upset or that people would turn against him. The only way this news would've disturbed me is if I'd been dating Clay and I had hoped he would propose soon. Yes,then the news would've devastated me because it would've had a huge impact on my life. No wedding for me and the love of my life is gay? That would totally suck!....but that's not the case.

I really don't care what anyone is doing in his/her life unless it's harmful to someone else or if it directly impacts my life. Is that selfish? I just think everyone has a right to live his/her own life.

I remember when there was all that hoopla about Sponge Bob Square Pants being gay.
Can a sponge be gay? Do we really have to have a conversation about that?

I wrote a post about a book that told the true story of 2 male penguins.

I just think the world is ridiculous. Live and let live. Isn't that a motto somewhere?

Happy 11th Birthday Lillianna!!

Today Lillianna is 11. She woke up at 4:30am to go to the bathroom and then she stayed up. The alarm was set for 4:45am anyway because she wanted to count down to 4:59am which is the time she was born so 4:30am wasn't too early for us.

She opened her presents and then I came in here to type up her birthday notes that I put on all her food in her lunch box. Here's what I did this year.

On her peanut butter and fluff sandwich:

Hey....is that you peanut butter?
No...it's a tuna sandwich! Of course it's me!
Did you hear that today is Lillianna's 11th birthday?
That's impossible...Lillianna is like...I don't know....5??
Ya...she was 5 about 6 years ago. Today she is 11.
You'd think she would be eating something more mature like caviar.
She's not gonna eat peanut butter and fluff and fish eggs!
Ya...that is kinda gross.
Ya think??
HAPPY BIRTHDAY,LILLIANNA!!


On her bottle of water:

I am no ordinary bottle of H2O.
I've got stuff in me that makes you grow.
I think it's mold and fungus and stuff
No...I'm just joking
to make you luff...uhm...laugh
(Why didn't I just rhyme something with laugh?
Lots of words rhyme with laugh...
half,calf,staff...is that it?
No wonder I rhymed it with luff!!)
Happy Birthday!

On her Scooby Doo fruit snacks:

Scooby Snacks?
How is there a surviving pack
of fruit snacks in here?
Didn't Lillianna eat them all up on Sunday??
Oh,her mom bought her another pack?
Good thing too. That Lillianna is a
total fruit snack pig. No offense!
Oh ya...and Happy Birthday!Oink!


On her cupcake.

My name is Drake.
I am a cupcake.
So yummy and gooooood
a sugary food.
(Did ya like how I made good
into gooooood so it rhymed with
food? That takes great talent.
Oh ya and....Happy Birthday!)





On her peanutbutter crackers:

Crackers crackers in a pack
I'm a healthy energy snack
When you feel the need to eat
choose me for your special treat!!
Happy Birthday from the cracker pack!


On her granola bar:

Granola is so good for you
oats and bran and tree bark too
That can't be right it can't be true
If you pooped a tree what would you do?
Happy Birthday from your
thoughful granola bar!

And here's the note from me:

Happy 11th Birthday

I don't know how it's come again
It seems like you were only 10
one year ago with ten little candles
It's just way more than your mom can handle

And now one candle is added this year
You have turned eleven so stand up and cheer
for one whole year you'll be eleven
but next year you'll be five plus seven
(that's 12 for those who can't do the math)

Happy birthday to my precious girl
you're the brightest star in my whole world.

(Ya I get that girl and world don't actually rhyme
but I think I can make it rhyme and that's called
poetic license. It's not like a driving license
because you can't make up your own rules when
you drive. You'd just get arrested if you did but
when you write poetry you can kind of do what you
want and call it poetry. Isn't that cool?)

Happy Birthday Lillianna!!!


So those are my crazy birthday notes. They always make her laugh so I keep writing them. Tonight she is having a bunch of her friends sleep over and one of my co-workers who is a manicurist will be coming to do their nails. I love her sleep overs. They're always so much fun for all of us.

My child is almost 11!

Lillianna will be 11 on Friday. Eleven! What kind of number is that? It's a darn scary one,that's for sure. Yesterday while I was waking her up for school I told her it was fun raising her so far but 11 is out of my league so I'm going to trade her in for a 5 and 6 year old. I'm good with those ages! Lillianna just laughed and said,"You helped raise Auntie and she was 11!"
I rolled my eyes and said,"Fine....I guess I'll keep you!"

That kid has an answer for everything. She knows she is the joy of my life even though I torture her whenever I can. That's my favorite part of motherhood.
She knows there are surprises ahead that I won't tell her about but that's so much fun for me. I love to torture her by keeping her surprises a secret.

If you're reading this,Lillianna,and hoping that I'll reveal something.....too bad! Not gonna happen!! You'll just have to wait and see.

One more day of being 10 and then.....the number will change. *sigh* My baby isn't a baby anymore. I just pray the teen years will be good for us and that I won't have to go on Dr.Phil with my out of control teen in a few years.

Happy(almost)Birthday,Noodle!! I love you!!

Twenty One Years Ago Today

Every time I see the date September 29th my heart breaks. It's been 21 years since my dad died but in a lot of ways it seems like it just happened yesterday.

Every year I get a little sadder as I remember all the good times I shared with my father. He was just so wonderful and he died way too soon. I wrote about the day he died two years ago so if you'd like you can read about it here.

The good news is that Lillianna came running into the living room yesterday because her radio turned on and off by itself and she was freaked out. I just laughed and told her not to worry. Dad does something like that on his birthday in May and on the anniversary of when he died.He loved music and it's his way of saying he's here. I always know he's around but it's fun when he gives me a little sign.

Also,I haven't really said much about Kara's pregnancy but IT'S A GIRL!!....and she's naming the baby after our dad,Charlie,and her mother-in-law Linda. My little niece will be named Charley Lynn. We are so excited to have a Charley back in the family.

You'd think after 21 years I wouldn't have anymore tears to shed over my dad but you'd be wrong. I cried through this whole post.

I try to keep my dad's memory alive so that Lillianna will know all about the grandfather that she never knew. My Uncle Robert,(Dad's brother)always tells funny stories about Dad which I love. I'm still learning things about him that I never knew. That's so much fun for me and I treasure all those stories.

It's so weird that Dad would've been 72 this past May but for me he will always be
51. Considering I'll be 46 in a few months that is really strange for me to think he wasn't much older than I am now when he died. I try not to think about that.

I miss you, Daddy!

Lillianna's first dance

Lillianna went to her first dance last night.
You can read about it here.

I can't believe she will be 11 in less than 2 weeks. Time sure flies when you're a mom.

I just had to laugh!

I wrote about a Yoplait yogurt commercial over a year ago.
It's a dippy commercial and I find the people in it to be a tad bitter. So I wrote about....that's what I do.....I write.
Today I got this comment.

Wow... I've never read anyone be so bitter about a commercial. Talk about over analyitcal. Try going out and doing something to brighten your life because you just make me feel like everyone should be royally ticked off at all times. AT YOGURT!

At first I felt angry because I have never left a nasty or rude comment on anyone's blog in all the years I have been online. I feel they are unnecessary. If I don't like what someone has written I just move on. I don't say one word. Why be a bitch,right?

After reading this for the second time it made me laugh. She is accusing me of being bitter but she was bitter about the fact that she thought I was bitter for no reason. That's just funny!!

Doesn't anyone use a camera anymore?

Lillianna has her 2 friends over today,Michael and Katie. The four of us were playing a board game that uses large plastic chips. Michael put a chip in each eye and he looked like Little Orphan Annie. We all laughed because he really looked funny.

Michael said,"Quick,somebody get a phone and take my picture."

That's how I know this is 2008. It's a sign of the times!

Why is history repeating itself?

Rich brought a box to the house the other day which had been stored in the trunk of his car for 5 years. It was filled with all my diaries! I had no idea that that's where they had been. I thought they were lost. (Rich had a bunch of boxes in his trunk due to lack of storage space in the apartment.)

I started reading them. I was shocked and very sad. Starting from 1978 when I was 15 years old and going until 1993 when I was 30 the entries all sound about the same. Even in my diaries from Israel 1985-1987 it's all the same.

"I love ______. (Insert any American or Israeli male name here.) Why can't he just love me for me? Why does he play these stupid games with me? When will I ever be happy? When will _______ (Insert male name again.)just show me some affection? Am I so difficult to love?"

It's all the same....over and over and over again.
Here I am at 45. My marriage has been the longest relationship that I've ever had and yet if I were to write a diary entry today I could still use the formula above. Nothing has changed. I am still waiting for the right man to love me unconditionally and to be affectionate. My life hasn't changed in 30 years. I think that is even sadder than Rich leaving.

I guess life goes on

A few weeks before my 40th birthday in 2003, Rich told me that he didn't want to be married anymore because he was unhappy so he moved out. It was completely devastating to me and to our poor 5 year old daughter. I will never get that picture out of my head. Lillianna was sitting on Rich's lap and she held his face in her hands and cried,"Why Daddy?....Why??" That memory still makes me sick.

All marriages have their ups and downs. I don't know anyone with a fairytale marriage. So imagine my surprise when Lillianna and I came home after a fun dinner at her favorite Chinese restaurant and we saw Rich's car in the lot. He was supposed to be at his night job until 10pm.

The first thing I noticed was that the end of the table where Rich paints his soldiers was empty. I asked him why he put his stuff away. He gave a vague answer but I had a bad feeling in the pit of my stomach. Finally he said he was moving out.

Just like that...he wasn't happy and he was leaving. When he moved back in 5 years ago he had said that he would never ever leave me and Lillianna again but lo and behold he lied.

So in the end I told him to just go tonight. I didn't want him here anymore. He left.
Now it's just me and Lillianna and that's just fine with me.

Bridezillas

Lillianna is absolutely fascinated by the show Bridezillas. Sometimes I watch it because I just don't believe that there are brides out there who act like complete bitches before,during and after their wedding. It always kills me when the bride spends millions of dollars and the groom just shrugs and says,"Whatever you want,sweetie." Who are these men who take such crap from their future wife?

I got married almost 14 years ago and my wedding was nothing like the ones I have seen on this show. On today's episode,the bride was helping pick out her maid of honor's dress. She admitted that she wanted to find the ugliest dress for her m.o.h. because she didn't want anyone to out shine her on her special day.

I took my bridesmaids and my maid of honor (my dear sister,Kara)to several bridal shops so that they could pick out whatever dress they liked best. I had been to a wedding years ago and the bridesmaids had an off the shoulder gown and they spent all night pulling up their dress so that their breasts wouldn't pop out. That seemed like a lot of work to me so I wanted my bridal party to be beautiful and comfortable. I never worried about someone out shining me. I just wanted everyone to be happy.

In Bridezillas today, the bride's future mother-in-law was a florist and she was going to do all the flowers. The bride wanted the most expensive flowers that were out of season. She also wanted crystals hanging from the flowers. Her poor MIL was horrified and told her it would look like a trailer park wedding.The bride yelled,"I've been dreaming of my wedding since I was 4 years old!! This is what I want!" I handled my florist a bit differently.

Mom and Kara came with me on the first meeting with my florist. She began showing us books and asking about what I had in mind. I asked her,"Have you done any other weddings before mine?" She laughed and said she had been doing this for many years. Handing her a piece of the bridesmaids dresses I said,"Great! This is what my bridesmaids will be wearing. Create something that will look pretty with this."

She was stunned and asked if I had any ideas. I said,"I have nothing in mind. I don't know anything about flowers and since you do,I'm leaving it in your hands." She thought I was very easy going. My flowers were absolutely gorgeous!

We got married at the same place where our reception was held and when I met with the woman in charge of the hall she asked me what kind of linens I wanted. Again,I showed her my bridesmaid's dress and said,"Since you've done this before,do whatever you think will be best. I have no idea about color schemes." She was thrilled and the end result was perfect.

The only thing that caused a controversy was the music. Mom insisted on a live band and I wanted a DJ. I hate live bands at a wedding. I can't ever recognize the tune until it's too late. With a DJ, everything sounds the way it's supposed to. I stood my ground and in the end Mom said if I had to have a DJ then she would find the best one for me.....and she did.

I don't know why these women enjoy being a bridezilla. I would be horrified and embarrassed if I acted like that. Well,I guess that's what makes great t.v. No one would watch if the bride was sweet and easy going.

The very first peanut butter and jam sandwich!

Kara called me today to tell me that she and Peter went to the beach. Her appetite has been off since SHE IS PREGNANT!!!! Yup...it's true. I feel like I've been waiting a century for this news but my sister is expecting her first baby 3 days after my birthday.....that's February 12th for people who don't know mine is the 9th.

I was stunned to learn that Kara has NEVER eaten a peanut butter sandwich in her 33 1/2 years but today she had some of Peter's peanut butter and seedless raspberry jam sandwich and she loved it.

Who knows....she may even try a peanut butter and fluff sandwich. That's what Lillianna lives on during the school year.

So hooray for Kara and her very first pb&j and hooray for me because I'm going to be an auntie!!! Well.....I guess Kara and Peter deserve the credit for that one.

When do I get to have fun?

Chaos! That's the only word that describes my apartment right now. Nothing is in it's place and most things don't really have a place because the apartment isn't big enough to hold all our precious belongings. My side of the closet has 2 giant Rubbermaid bins that hold our Christmas stuff so I don't have any space on the floor. I refuse to pay $50 a month for storage for because it's way too expensive.

Lillianna is making a 4 bedroom house out of cardboard for a class project and all the paper,paints,cardboard and this giant house are taking up the living room and dining room. Thank goodness it's due on Monday. I'll be happy to get those rooms back to normal....whatever that means.

It's 90 something degrees out today and of course Lillianna wants to go to the pool. Neither one of us has a bathing suit. She outgrew all of hers and mine was kind of coming apart last year so I don't think I can wear it again. Meanwhile,the clutter in here is giving me an anxiety attack. I'm almost done with my bedroom and then I'm off to the kitchen. Somewhere along the way I have to shower.

If I can finish everything by 3pm then we'll go bathing suit shopping. I can't relax until this place looks half way decent. I look forward to the weekends and then I can't enjoy them. That sucks!

Burn Baby Burn!

The two fourth grade classes recorded poems and plays on a CD. Lillianna's teacher wanted to find a company that would make 50 copies of this CD so that each child could have one. I told Lillianna that I would make 25 and I could probably persuade another mom to do the other 25.

I started making them yesterday and after 3 hours tonight,they're all done. I burned all 50 of them myself. I'm exhausted. I never want to see another CD!
Lillianna is very proud of me. That makes it all worth it.

I just wanted a phone without a cord

About 4 years ago our cordless phone broke. For some reason I bought an old fashioned phone with a cord to replace it. At first it was mounted on the wall but that didn't really work because I could only stand directly in front of the phone when I was using it. No movement was possible. That's when I pulled if off the wall and let it sit on the little table beneath it. This gave me about 3 feet of roaming room. Basically, I could reach the sink in the kitchen or possibly with a good stretch I could reach the microwave.

Yesterday, I went shopping for a new phone.
Lillianna and I went to Target and stood in the aisle where the phones were on display. They ranged in price from $20 to $200. The cheaper one looked cheap and the high end phone could basically mow your lawn if necessary.I just wanted a phone without a cord.

I read each description as I made my way down the aisle. One phone came with 3 handsets. You could use the phone as a child monitor or an intercom system through out the house. I'm in an apartment. What the heck do I need that for? My idea of a monitor is yelling in the next room,"Lil?" She yells,"What?" and I say,"Just checking." She's 10. That's good enough for me. As for an intercom,well,my voice travels.

I thought I could choose a phone without too much trouble but I was stumped. One phone had a built in answering machine but I already have voice mail through comcast. That would just confuse me. One phone was able to access the internet. I have a computer for that. I just want a phone that's a phone without a cord!!

Knowing that Rich was waiting for us in the car,I flagged down an employee who helped me choose my phone. It's just what I wanted. It does have a 411 Google button for information which I'm not too sure about but other than that it's a phone without a cord. Finally!