I happen to like the song Super Bass by Nicki Manaj but I couldn’t understand a lot of the words. Thank goodness for Google. Sadly, reading the lyrics didn’t shed any light on my quest for understanding this catchy little tune. I have copied part of the lyrics here and I’ve made a couple of comments. If you have any other thoughts about this song please feel free to leave your own comments.

I said, excuse me you're a hell of a guy I mean my, my, my, my you're like pelican fly

(I’ve been in love a time or two but I’ve never complimented anyone by saying they were like pelican fly. What does that even mean? Pelicans often fly in a V pattern. Is there some underlying message that I am missing here?)


I mean, you're so shy and I'm loving your tie

(I feel pretty certain that Nicki Manaj is not in any type of relationship with a guy wearing a TIE. Maybe I’m just assuming she’s involved with thugs since her language is hardly that of a lady. If I have made an unfair assumption I will apologize to Ms. Manaj)


You're like slicker than the guy with the thing on his eye, oh
(What kind of thing does this guy have on his eye? Since I work for an ophthalmology practice I have seen some grotesque growths on the lids of our patients. All I can picture is some guy with a huge stye ready to burst open at the seams. Ya….that is pretty slick, isn’t it?)

Yes I did, yes I did Somebody please tell him who the eff I is
( Nice effin’ language, Nicki! Really nice.)

I am Nicki Minaj, I mack them dudes up
(Now this part is sweet. The best I can figure is she is making mac & cheese for all the dudes. That is what “make them dudes up” means, right?)

Back coupes up, and chuck the deuce up
( I wish I could find an interpretation for this but I am totally at a loss. Is it about parking cars? Back the coupes up?.....anyone…..Bueller?.....Bueller?)

I totally give up!

My Sweet Daughter

This morning I woke Lillianna up at 6:30am. She immediately sat up, rubbed her eyes and smiled at me. "Good morning,Mom. Thanks for waking me up." Her sweetness touched my heart. It was such a pleasant start to my day as it always is.

Thirty minutes later it was time for me to leave. Lillianna was dressed for school and sitting on the couch. I picked up my things for work and said, "Bye Sweetie. I love you."

Lillianna hopped off the couch, threw her arms around me and said, "You're the best Mom ever! Have a great day at work. I love you!!" I nearly cried. It's such a blessing to have such sweetness in the morning.

Okay.....so what really happened this morning?

I woke Lillianna up at 6:30am. That much was true. When I asked her if she was up she grumbled some muffled sounds which sounded like a wounded animal. I took that as a "yes" and left the room. Shortly thereafter I heard more muttering. I just ignored it and enjoyed my breakfast.

I gathered my things to leave for work and just as I was about to walk out the door I said, "Bye Sweetie. I love you." There was a pause. Nothing was said so I said to myself, "Bye Mom. Have a great day at work. I love you." My sarcasm was lost on my cranky child. Finally she said, "Toodles!"

I said,"If this is the last time you see me, do you want "toodles" to be the final thing that you said to me? Really?" She thought for a second and then said "Toodles" again.

Rich said,"If this really is the last thing you say to your mother then I am having the word TOODLES tattooed on your forehead so that you can see it every time you look in the mirror. Better yet, I'll have your mother's face tattoed on your forehead! How about that?"
I told him I thought it was a good plan and I left for work.

Thank goodness I lived through the day so that Lillianna has another chance to show how much she loves me. Tomorrow's another day.

Just call her Lilly

I named my daughter Lillianna because I thought that was a beautiful name.....I still do. I either call her Lillianna or Noodle. I usually only call her Lilly when I'm upset because it sounds more strict....LIL-LY,2 harsh syllables to indicate I mean business.

Lillianna sounds more like a pretty melody so I don't normally call her that when I'm displeased. Noodle is just a cutie pie name that I have used for years and it is never used when she is being grounded.

That being said, I almost always refer to her as Lillianna in any correspondence which would include Face Book. She informed me the other day that she does not like my refering to her as Lillianna since she is simply Lilly now and all her friends know her as Lilly. That kind of made me sad because I know how this all came to be and it started in elementary school.

I don't know if her kindergarten teacher was the first but I know that it hit me by
2nd grade that the teachers couldn't manage to pronounce my child's name. They wanted to say Lilly-AH-na instead of Lilly-ANN-a. When I corrected them they said, "I'll just call her Lilly."

Don't get me wrong. I am not opposed to nick names. I had always wanted one of my own when I was a kid but other than Kara calling me Ra-Ra because she couldn't say Robin when she was little, I never really had a nick name. I've come to terms with that over the years so I'm totally fine with it.

I'm also not opposed to nick names in general but when Lillianna asked me to use the name Lilly on Face Book instead of Lillianna I felt a pang of sadness come over me. To the world she will be Lilly, I guess, but to me she will always be Lillianna.

It's ok....it's Phat with a PH

I'm not a big fan of slang. I remember when I was 13 and I went to San Diego to stay with my cousin Becky for 3 weeks and we laughed at each other's expressions. She couldn't understand "wicked good" since wicked means bad. How could something be
bad-good? It didn't make sense to her even after I explained that wicked just meant "very." We didn't use it in terms of wicked meaning something bad. It seemed perfectly normal to me.

I remember choking on my Dr.Pepper and how the carbonation hurt as it shot out through my nose when Becky said her mother "was going to have a cow." The image in my head was so bizarre I didn't know what to say. She didn't know why I was so hysterical. She just meant her mother was going to be upset. I'll probably never get that image out of my head!

So here we are in 2011 and I know the phat word has been around for a few years now but I heard it on tv the other day and it disturbed me. My guess is that it was created by some passive-aggressive person who was too afraid to say what he meant. Like the disgruntled silent suffering mate in a bad relationship who couldn't quite call it quits. As his girlfriend entered the room feeling wonderful, he looked at her with the intent to insult her and before he knew it the words flew out of his mouth, "Wow....you're really fat in that outfit."

Realizing he actually said what he was hoping to just think, he had to make a quick save as his girlfriend burst into hysterical tears.

"Oh honey, I didn't mean that in a bad way. I meant you look beautiful."
"But you said I looked FAT!" she sobbed.
After a moment's thought the boyfriend replied, "Oh sweetie....you misunderstood me. I didn't mean fat with an F, I meant phat with a P.H."
"There's no such word," she says but still remains hopeful.
"Yes, it's a new slang word. It means beautiful, wonderful, fantastic....the best!"
And they live happily ever after.....ya right!

Matty in the morning on KISS 108 FM claims you can take the sting out of anything bad by just adding "dude" to the end of your sentence.
"Your breath stinks.....dude." Doesn't sound so bad. Sounds kind of helpful.Good dental hygiene is important.

"Your wife is cheating on you....dude." Just giving you a head's up, my friend.
He kind of has a point there.

So here's my point. I'm just going to make stuff up.If PHAT is ok then PHUCK should be ok too...as long as it's spelled with a PH.

I can say, "Phuck you!" and if anyone looks at me strangely or gets mad I'll just explain, "You've got it all wrong. I said F*&^ with a PH....you know....the good kind. It means have a nice day." I'm sure that person will see the light, hug me and say, "Well then, phuck you too." We'll be life long friends, I'm sure.


Let's go one better and add a silent H at the beginning of a word. You could say to your spouse, "Oh my God, you are such a hmoron!!" When he/she gets insulted you just reply, "I didn't mean moron. I said hmoron, you know, with a silent H at the beginning. It means "best person in the world."

Ah....what a passive-aggressive nation we've become.
What's your new word?

Happy Belated Birthday, Lillianna

My precious child left a comment on an old birthday post and asked why I hadn't written about her turning 13 this year. Can you hear the knife stabbing into my heart? OY!
She's a good Jewish girl throwing that guilt around. I taught her well.

The reality is that work keeps me busy and when I get home I am so exhausted I'm lucky if I stay awake after dinner. The first time I've written on this blog in months was yesterday or the day before....I've already forgotten.

So here ya go, Noodle..........My very precious daughter turned 13 on October 3rd. Yes, she's officially a teen. I'm going to officially need therapy. I know these are the years that kids pull away from their parents and bond with their friends but it's killing me....and yet I'm so proud of her too. How can that be? It's like an oxymoron like jumbo shrimp. How can it be both? It simply is.

She's a good girl with wonderful friends. Some friends she is very close to and others she is moving away from. Sometimes I'm sad for the change but I know it has to happen. My friend Robin and I drifted apart in 7th grade so I know how painful it can be. You are simply not the same person at 13 that you were when you were 6. Some gaps can not be bridged so you cross the bridge, wave good bye and move on. No one is right and no one is wrong. The relationship changed.

I remember when Kara was a teenager and I was in my late 20s and I used to say to her, "I love you because you are my sister but if we were the same age we would never be friends!!" We both agreed that was true. Of course even that relationship changed over the years and we are very close and adore each other. Go figure!

Lillianna is different.She is sweet, funny, smart, kind, loving, compassionate and a real snappy dresser! She hangs out with a great group of kids but when I was that age I was kind of quiet and I liked one on one relationships. I didn't do things in groups the way she does.

I think Lillianna is like Kara and that's ok with me since I love both them. I'm proud of the way Lillianna has turned out even when she ignores me or rolls her eyes at me. She is the perfect daughter for me. If I could change one thing about her I'd change the way she tells me that I'm not "hip and happening" because I totally know I am!! Would an unhip mom take her to see Justin Bieber and Sean Kingston next week? Huh? Would they? I don't think so.

Happy belated birthday to my 13 year old daughter. I love you!

P.S. Lillianna, your father says you're killing him!!

Buy a Dictionary!

I often write about spelling mistakes but that's because they drive me insane.
On Monday I drove by a restaurant that had a chalkboard sign outside.
It read: WE ARE A FULL SERVICE RESTURANT

Oh how tempted I was to walk in the front door and say, "If you can't spell restaurant then you shouldn't have one!" But alas, I simply drove by without stopping.

I also pass by a sub shop every day. Their new sign says,
It's not to late for Thanksgiving dinner. I understand that you can choose from two, too or to and golly jeepers that can be a tough call but if you don't know which one to use please ask someone. I make errors too, to, two but I don't post them on signs for all to see, sea. If I make a blogging boo boo it's no big deal. I'm not a business. I'm just writing down the crap that's in my head. Businesses should ask 10 people to proof read a sign before they put it up.

The reality is that I'm not driving around looking for spelling errors. My eyes are just drawn to them. Whether it's a sign, a note from school or a flyer for some event, I find the spelling mistake. It's a curse....really it is.

More Teen Moms?

When Pregnant at 16 started on MTV I thought it was stupid. When Lillianna started watching it I thought it would be good for young girls to see how difficult it would be to be a teen mom. Maybe this show would prevent teen pregnancies. So, I ended up following the girls through their show and on to their follow up show, Teen Moms.

I usually watch this show with Lillianna as I comment along the way. What 13 year old girl wouldn't love the additional remarks from her mother? When Farrah walked away from Sophie who was playing on the bed and then Sophie fell off the bed I said, "Do you know why that baby fell off the bed?" Without letting Lillianna answer I said, "Because she has a teen mom who is preoccupied with talking on the phone instead of watching her daughter, that's why!"

When Catelyn was crying as she handed Carly over to her adoptive parents I asked, "Do you know how you can avoid crying hysterically like that?" This time I waited for an answer. Lillianna sighed, rolled her eyes and said, "Yes, Mom....don't be a teen mom." I smiled proudly and said, "That's right. Good girl. You have been listening!"

Okay, so here we are. The show is over. I'm thinking maybe these teen moms did some good in the world and teen girls are thinking first before having unprotected sex.
BUT NO!!!!!! There is another whole batch of them waiting in the wings.

The next edition of Pregnant at 16 has already begun. While these girls were watching the first round of Pregnant at 16 they thought that looked like a good idea and then they got pregnant!!! What the hell is wrong with everyone???

I know some women who were teen moms and they are wonderful people raising fantastic children but it's not a goal a teen girl should have. MTV is giving these girls their 15 minutes of fame and everyone seems to be winning here except the babies.

I may not be a perfect mom but I've lived 35 years longer than my child and I learned some stuff during those years. I know much more now than I did at 16. I wish girls would get their education first and then think about motherhood down the road.

MTV should find a better way to help teens. These shows seem to encourage the very thing they're trying to prevent.

What are you protesting?

An old friend of mine sent me a link to a petition that was circulating several years ago protesting gay marriage. I'm not sure why people would care who got married unless they were directly involved. There was a time that inter-racial and inter-faith marriages were taboo. If that hadn't changed by 1994 then Rich and I wouldn't have gotten married. He's not Jewish.

Times have to change and people as a group have to evolve. I'm not saying that everyone on the planet has to agree with me because they don't. I'm just suggesting that petitions shouldn't be written or signed to ban basic human rights.

There are things in this world that I could do without but I don't have the need to control what everyone else gets to do. I hate liver! I used to eat chopped liver on Ritz crackers at Nana's house on almost every Jewish holiday until I was around 6 or 7 years old. That's the time Mom and I were in the grocery store and I saw a package of LIVER! That's when it clicked. It was liver inside your body,liver, not some random name of a food that we were just calling liver. I never ate it again.

The first word I made someone teach me when I was in Israel was liver. Why? Because every time I asked what something was they would say, "I don't know how you say in English." I'd ask, "Does it moo? cluck? gobble? oink?" Since I got very little response with that I learned the word cah-ved That was always my first question, "Is it cah-ved?" That really helped me out during my 2 years there.

So,I hate liver but never once did I say I was starting a petition to ban the sales of liver in the state of Massachusetts. The reason for that is because I know a lot of people who adore liver especially with a side of onions. When they talk of that meal they have the same sparkle in their eye that I get when I think of mushroom pizza from my favorite restaurant.

Liver and I can co-exist in peace and harmony and I don't have to spoil things by trying to take it away from those who enjoy it. I'm not a control freak. I believe in live and let live.

Life is complicated and having a soul mate to share it with makes the world a happier and better place. I believe 2 people who love each other should be married if they choose to be married. I just hope they don't invite me over for a liver dinner!

I do have a daughter,right?

February school vacation meant that I worked full 8 hour days instead of only 6 hours because Lillianna was at a friend's house and I didn't have to hurry home to get her off the bus. When Lillianna was younger I didn't work as many hours as I do now so I just took the few days of vacation off and we spent time together. Even if that were possible now, Lillianna doesn't want to hang with her mom. She wants to be having fun with her friends.

It's the normal course of things, I know, and honestly I thought I was prepared for it but it's still difficult. Lillianna and I spent Saturday night and Sunday night at Kara's last weekend and then I went home on Monday. Lil stayed Monday night too and Rich brought her home on Tuesday after work.

She slept at home Tuesday night.....hooray! Then I brought her to Emily's Wednesday morning. She slept there Wednesday and Thursday night and I picked her up after work on Friday.
Last night she went to Aneya's house for a birthday sleep over and Rich picked her up at 11am and brought Lil and Carly to Sarah's house for the afternoon. She finally came home at 5pm.

Lillianna had a blast all week and that's all that is important. At 12, I'm happy that she has good friends who she enjoys being with. I would hate to have a clingy tween who couldn't make a move without me. That would mean I failed as a mother and I never want to do that.

So, ya, I do have a daughter and I'm going to snuggle with her before we both go to bed. She may be independent but she'll always needs lots of love from Mom.

How do you make beaded fruit?

Lillianna was just looking through some scrap books that I made over the past few years. She happened to find some pictures from the 70s and asked, "How do you make beaded fruit?" That just made me laugh as it brought back so many memories of my childhood.

When I was Lillianna's age, beaded fruit was all the rage. Everyone I knew had a bowl of beaded fruit in their house. That's just the way it was.My mother was always beading fruit and it looked like fun so I begged her to teach me how to do it.

I taped a dime to my thumb, put a pin through a bead and pushed it in to the fuzzy fake pear. Ouch! That was a bit painful and not as easy as it looked. I tried again. After about 10 beads I was tired, sore and bored. I told my mother I was done. She just shrugged and continued beading a banana.

I'll never know what the fascination with beaded fruit was all about in the 70s but I hope that's one of the fads that doesn't return in the future.

New Design

Just checking out my new design. Not sure if I need more pink or more beans. Let me see what this looks like.

Still working on the jellybeans

My friend Jaime is working on the jellybean situation. I think I'll feel more motivated to write once my beans are back. It's sad but true that I am inspired by cotton candy jellybeans. My wedding band is engraved with "cotton candy jellybeans 10/2/93" since that is the day Rich and I met and I was eating cotton candy jellybeans at the time.

Also, as I walked down the aisle at our wedding I could see the head table. We were married at the same place we had the reception. Rich had put a small clear piano filled with cotton candy jellybeans on my plate and it made me smile when I saw it.

This is why I love my cotton candy jellybeans. Of course sometimes I'm motivated by a mushroom pizza....I'm rather fickle at times.

Lillianna's party

At the moment I have 7 12 year olds in my house. That's all I have to say.

Where are my jellybeans?

I haven't been inactive for 90 days. I want my jellybean logo back!!

The Death of Michael Jackson

Everyone I know is mourning Michael Jackson's death. Ya, it's sad. He was only 50 years old. He changed the music and dance world with his unique style. I'm not disputing that. I just think that he was hot and sexy when he was still black but he turned into a whacko once he started with his plastic surgery addiction and became white.

I've heard all the stories about his horrible childhood. No one should have to go through life being abused especially when a parent is the abuser. That makes it a million times worse in my eyes. The adults that should be protecting you are causing the pain and for that I hope there is a special hell that all abusers will go to.

At lunch the other day my co-workers all said they don't believe he sexually abused the 3 boys that accused him. That whole thing is "iffy" in my book. I tend to believe it happened even if Michael Jackson didn't think he was doing anything inappropriate at the time. Child molestation is never right even if the molester doesn't know the difference between right and wrong.

So I'm not crying my eyes out over his death. I'm not really feeling much at all. I liked some of his music. A lot of tunes bring back special memories from my younger years but I'm not heart broken and in mourning like so many people I've seen over the past couple of days.

He may be a pop icon but he was also a pretty odd and creepy guy.

911.....What's your emergency?

You have to be a special kind of moron to call 911 for a chicken nugget emergency unless the nugget is lodged in your throat and you are in danger of choking to death.

I wouldn't even call the non-emergency police line to handle this dispute. I'm an adult. I'm pretty sure that if I ordered chicken McNuggets and they were out of them, I could choose something else or I could get my money back and run off to Kentucky Fried Chicken for a variety of chicken snacks.

The woman in Florida who called 911 to resolve her McNugget problem should be thrown in jail. I believe she was fined for misusing 911 but I don't think that is enough.
People need to know that 911 is not the number to call for every minor argument. It's there for emergency situations only. "Oh my gosh they're out of my favorite chicken meal," is not an emergency no matter how that crazy broad tried to spin it.

There is no such thing as a chicken emergency unless it's a giant mutant chicken who is crushing people with it's huge mutant feet and you're afraid that it will take over the world. If that's the case, give 911 a jingle. A S.W.A.T. team may be needed.
Bravo to you for helping save the planet.

What do you think is an appropriate punishment for the nugget lady?

Do chickens really need these?

Over the past few years as my age has been creeping up on me, I've noticed that occasionally, I don't pay 100% attention to what I hear or see. My hearing and vision are fine but sometimes my mind is just elsewhere and my brain interprets the wrong message.

Yesterday as I drove by Kentucky Fried Chicken I noticed a sign that I thought said,
NEW CHICKEN DIAPERS! I was stunned. Do chickens need diapers? If so, why would they sell them at KFC? Then I took another look and it actually said DIPPERS not diapers.
Well that made more sense! I laughed and drove on by.

Two years ago I had my radio turned to WRKO which is a talk radio station. I came in the middle of a conversation but I found it intriguing. They were talking about the mating habits of rabbis! As a Jewish woman I hadn't realized that rabbis had actual mating habits but I stopped to listen and I was horrified. I couldn't believe that something like this would be on the radio.

Before they took a short break they announced that they'd continue talking about the mating habits of RABBITS after this message. Rabbits? Not rabbis? I felt like Emily Litella from Saturday Night Live....."never mind!"

Happy 2009!

Last year wasn't my favorite year but 2009 has started off on a good note.

Rich moved back in right before Christmas and things are great.
We had a wonderful Christmas Eve at Debby and Mark's house as usual.
Christmas Day at Kara's was so much fun and then her baby shower was 3 days later and it was a huge success. Everyone had a great time.

Kara will be 35 weeks on Wednesday and Charly Lyn is over 4 pounds now so Kara did really well with being on bedrest all this time. She is safe to have the baby any time now.We are all very excited and impatiently waiting for this child to arrive and join our family.

My nana always told me, "This is going to be your year." She said that every year because she was so optimistic. I do hope 2009 brings us all happiness,peace and prosperity. We really need a change.

This "new" invention looks familiar

I'm off today so instead of relaxing like I thought I would I am cleaning every single room. The t.v. is on in the background and I heard a commercial that sounded interesting so I went to see what the product looked like. Kara and Lillianna are always cold so I thought maybe this would be something I would buy for them.

The commercial was for Snuggie,the fleece blanket with sleeves.

I hate to be the one to break this to the inventor of this great product but the snuggie is A BATHROBE!!!! How is this not a bathrobe?
How did this get by the patent people? Are we so stupid that they thought we wouldn't recognize a bathrobe if it had a new name?

Maybe I'll come up with some new products too.
How about knitted finger warmers? (Don't confuse them with gloves!)
High rubber shoes that protect you from the snow. (They're kind of like boots but not boots.)
Beneath your outerwear. (Let's not say underwear since it's a new product!)

So here's my challenge: Make up some of your own new/old products and either write about them on your own blog or leave them as comments for me. We could all get rich with a new invention. That would solve our money problems!

Like Mother,Like Daughter

Lillianna got her 1st report card of 5th grade today. She got all As!!!!I didn't give it much thought before I got it but I figured she'd get As and Bs. I had no idea she'd get high honors.

That's my girl!!

Congratulations to my intelligent daughter.