The blizzard of '78.....30 years ago today

The blizzard of '78 is the most famous blizzard in Massachusetts in my life time.
It started on February 5th and went straight through my birthday......my 15th birthday!

No one was allowed to drive unless it was someone from the police or fire dept and members of the clergy. I think that was it. No other vehicles were allowed on the roads. Kara was 4 years old at the time and we have a picture of her standing in front of a snow drift that was probably 10 feet high or more.

Since Dad worked in a bakery he always brought home my birthday cake every year. In 1978 he was confined to the house so no birthday cake from the bakery. Mom kept apologizing to me for not having any presents for me because she thought she had a few days before my birthday. When the blizzard hit us harder than we expected,we couldn't go anywhere except whatever was in walking distance.

I didn't care about the presents since I knew I'd get them eventually but I did care about my birthday cake. What's a birthday without cake? I hate to say that at 15 I had never baked a darn thing in my life but I told Mom that I was going to bake my own cake.

My neighbor Esther and her daughter Andrea were planning to walk up to the center of town for some groceries so I said I'd go with them to get my cake mix and frosting.....and candles! This walk which generally took 10 minutes on a regular day took one hour each way with us pulling a sled through the snow to carry our groceries.

The gusty wind which blew the snow in our faces really slowed us down but we perservered.We had layers of snow on our eyelashes - the only things peeking out of our face which was covered with a huge scarf. You have no idea how determined I was to bake this damn cake! It was my birthday and even though everything in this state was shut down and canceled,my birthday would go on!

I baked my very first layer cake on February 9th 1978 and it was pretty darn tootin' yummy if I do say so myself. For some reason I made a chocolate cake with chocolate frosting and I don't really like chocolate cake. I suppose just having the cake,any cake,was enough to make me happy.

So in addition to celebrating my birthday each year I also celebrate the first time I ever baked a layer cake. Today is the 30 year anniversary!

Happy Birthday to me!

Today is my 45th birthday. I remember when I thought 30 was old!! I'm more than middle aged since I doubt I'll live to be 90. I don't believe diabetics have that long of a life expectancy.

This morning we went out to a 50's restaurant down the street for breakfast. I splurged and had marinated steak tips,scrambled eggs and a big chunk of their toasted banana nut bread. Probably not the healthiest choice but it was delicious.

My birthday cake is baking in the oven as we speak. I always make my favorite strawberry whipped cream cake. I never want anyone to make me a cake. I like my own best of all. I'm also baking brownies.

This afternoon around 3:00pm Lillianna and I will have manicures before heading to Kara's house. My last manicure was September 18,2006,the day before Kara's wedding! Lillianna had a manicure and pedicure last Saturday for her friend's birthday! Am I doing something wrong here? My daughter's nails are better taken care of than mine.

Peter,my brother in law, is making me a special dinner tonight.....chicken piccata! Yum!
Rich will meet us there after work but I'll have to order a pizza for him. He would never eat this chicken....too flavorful.

I'm trying to focus on all the things that I do have in my life as opposed to where I thought I'd be at 45 and how I feel like I've failed but it isn't easy. Kara tried to put a positive spin on everything but it didn't work. I keep crying and I wish that would stop already.

I don't mind being 45 I just wish some things were different.

Oh well.....maybe next year.

What a waste of a stamp!

The New England Patriots lost the Super Bowl last Sunday and it was out of my thoughts the minute the game was over. Bummer that they lost but it didn't change my life one way or the other. I don't hate the New York Giants....I don't even know them. I do like the Pats but honestly,do you think I can name 3 players on the team from memory? Nope but I still like them when they're on t.v. I really do.

Rich is a huge Pats fan but he feels the same way I do....too bad they lost but the loss is not life altering for us. Rich is not a loud fan. He's not in anyone's face threating to kick their ass. He's a quiet fan. Oh sure he yells at the t.v. at home but he's not rude and abusive to fans of the opposing team if she should encounter them in his daily life.

He would never go up to a stranger with an opponent's team name on his cap and say,"You suck!!!" He doesn't know if they suck. Maybe they do. Maybe they don't but he can't make that assessment based on their hat choices.

So,imagine my surprise when an envelope arrived from Rich's old job. We're expecting a 401K check any day now from last year. The handwriting was familiar(it was the guy who does payroll) so I was excited to open it up. There was a picture of a NY Giants player enclosed with a typed note that said NEW YORK GIANTS ARE THE SUPER BOWL CHAMPS.

Uhm....ya...we know....we saw the game 4 days ago. We've already moved on.
The only thing I hate more than a sore loser is a nasty winner.
I can't believe he wasted a stamp on that.
I think he sucks....I really do and that's based on my actually knowing him!

I knew she was sick!

I took Lillianna to her pediatrician yesterday because I knew she was sick.
The nurse did a strep test and then Dr.F came in,took one look down Lil's throat and turned to me,"Did you see this?" she asked as she looked at me with a stunned expression.

I told her I hadn't looked. She waved me over and flashed the light down Lillianna's throat. It was the brightest red I had ever seen. Yikes! Dr.F said she'd be right back because she wanted the results of the 5 minute strep test.

She came back in a few seconds later nodding her head and said,"Oh ya.....it's strep!" Lillianna is on Keflex for 10 days and she can return to school tomorrow.
She is resting today and then at 3:00pm we have to head out for a girl scout trip to get her cooking badge. Dr.F said she'd be fine to do that today.

Whenever Lillianna is very busy like 2 back to back sleep overs,she gets run down and then within 2 days she is sick with something. I'll just have to make sure that she still gets enough sleep even when she is a social butterfly.

I'm still somebody's little girl

Mom sent me a birthday card yesterday and it made me cry. It was really sweet and mushy. After I cried my heart out and dripped tears all over the place I thought that even at 45,I'm still really happy to be someone's little girl.
It was just a nice feeling.

My new doctor

I had my appointment with Dr.F today. She was actually very nice.
She spent almost an hour with me asking all kinds of questions: Have I had a recent eye exam? Do I go to the dentist regularly? Do I check my feet every day? Have I had a recent pneumonia or flu shot? When was my last mammogram?

The list was endless.She was very thorough.When she realized I hadn't had an EKG for 2 years she sent the nurse in to do that immediately. When that was done she had me come into her office and she explained all my lab results to me from December. I had gotten a call back then and I was told everything was stable....no details. Dr.F gave me all the details. My blood sugar has to come down from 6.8 to 5.8. My bad cholesterol is fine but my good cholesterol which protects my heart is too low and I have to get that number up with exercise.

In the end,I really liked her. That sure is good news for me.

I should've listened to my instincts!

Lillianna had back to back sleep overs this weekend and she got very little sleep. Big shock! By the time she returned home on Sunday,she looked exhausted and had pink circles under her lids. The pink circles always tell me that she needs to rest. I didn't have to ask her twice to take a nap with me that afternoon. We both slept for 2 hours.

I knew she didn't have school today,Tuesday,due to a teacher's professional day so I figured she'd rest today too and bounce back from her weekend exhaustion. Last night her friend Sarah's mom,Lisa,called and asked if Lillianna could spend the day at their house today. I said she could stay for a little while but then I wanted her home to rest. Last night Lillianna complained of a sore throat so I definitely didn't want her out all day.

In the end,Lillianna was there from 8:30am-4:30pm. She swore she felt fine all day and she was having fun so I figured I'd stop being so overprotective and just let her be a kid. When I picked her up she looked half dead. When we got in the car she said she wanted to go to bed. Why did I let her talk me into letting her be out all day?????

She got into the shower as soon as we got home,had 2 bowls of soup and went into bed at 7:00pm. She is watching t.v. all wrapped up in blankets. I'm sure she'll be asleep soon. I have a bad feeling that we'll be home sick tomorrow and I'm supposed to work 8 hours. The week of school vacation in 2 weeks will require that I use 25 hours of PTO if I can't figure out a way to work a couple of days. If I have to call in sick tomorrow I'll just have to deal with it.

I made a mistake. I listenend to Lillianna instead of my own good instincts.Now we'll see what happens.

I don't like Sylvia Browne

It's not that I don't believe in psychic ability because I do. I just hate Sylvia Browne. I think she's a bit of a self-centered bitch. Yup.....I sure do.

Montel has her on once a week or so and I hate the way she speaks to people. Most times she is so vague I just don't believe a damn thing she says.

Audience question:"Do I have any spirit guides around me?"
Sylvia:"Yes you do...you have 3 angels and a spirit guide named Benjamin."

Then she turns her head and moves on to the next question. She looks bored and uninterested with the people that are yearning for answers. I get that it's a 60 minute talk show but at least look kind and loving.


Audience question:"My husband went missing 2 years ago and we don't know what happened."
Sylvia: (I swear she gives this same damn answer to everyone!!!) "He's in the woods in a shallow part of water. Look there."

She bugs the hell out of me. Without any skill at all anyone on this planet could give the answers that she does.

Audience question:"I have cancer. How will this turn out?"
Sylvia:"Everything will be fine."

Audience question:"I'm having trouble getting pregnant."
Sylvia:"You'll be pregnant by April."

How in the world is this woman so famous? I've had readings before and the good ones always give specific details.

Lillianna had a spirit drawing when she was 3 and Rita,who did the drawing was right on. You can see an article about Rita here and if you scroll down a few letters you'll see mine in there. I used to be able to google the picture she drew of Rich's mom but now I can't find it.

Anyway....Sylvia Browne sucks!

Lillianna's sleep over

Lillianna wrote this post last month and forgot to have me approve it until tonight!
Better late than never.

Changing my mind about changing doctors

My primary care physician,Dr.B,left the practice where I've been seeing him and he moved 15 minutes away. Since his old practice is 10 minutes closer to me and more convenient,I decided not to follow him and to choose a new pcp. I liked him but sometimes he intimidated me so I was okay with changing.

I was down to my last 2 cholesterol pills the other day and called in to CVS to refill it. It needed authorization because it said I could refill it 5 times before January 22,2008. I was a couple of days too late.

Knowing that Dr.B was gone and I was without a pcp,I called the practice to find a new one. They set me up with Dr.F who I was told was very nice and she would be coming to my regular office. I thought that sounded great and the secretary said she'd get Dr.F to sign off on my refill. I told her I'd set up an appointment in April to meet with her since I need blood work every 3 months and I just had a complete physical on December 28,2007. She said that was fine.

Today I went to CVS and picked up my prescription. I thought that was very nice that things went so smoothly.....then I got home. There was a message on my voice mail from Dr.F's secretary. She said that Dr.F really didn't want to fill my cholesterol med because according to my most recent labs,I should not be on a cholesterol med!

I was livid!!! I almost died 2 years ago on our trip to Disney World. My triglycerides were 3,000. The normal number is 200. All the doctors in Florida told me I have to be on a cholesterol medication for the rest of my life. Dr. B confirmed that when I came home and saw him. I accepted it. I'm alive. Taking this pill will keep me that way.

So now, Dr.F has decided I shouldn't be taking it? Did she even read my chart or just look at my labs? Is that really good care? I haven't even met her yet but I don't have much confidence in her judgment at that moment.

She wants to see me in the next few weeks to discuss this. I just had a physical!!! Read my freakin' chart!!! It's all in there.

I'm just pissed. I feel like she made a shoddy assessment without having all the facts.

What would you do?

My very funny nephew

Everyone went to Kara's house tonight for Peter's birthday.(He's my very favorite brother in law.) Lisa,TC,Trent and Dash were also there which meant good bonding time with my little baby Dash who is 5 1/2 months old if I'm not mistaken.

Anyway,we were all sitting around the table eating ice cream cake for dessert...well,I was feeding Dash his cereal and applesauce for my dessert. I had just been saying that when I had changed Dash's diaper a few moments before,I was really worried that he would pee on me.

My cutie pie 4 year old nephew Trent who was sitting right next to me turned towards me. With his mouth covered in ice cream he said,"Well,you know,when I was a baby my mother put a sock on my johnson so that I wouldn't pee." Then he turned around and continued eating. The adults waited one second and then burst out in hysterics.

I don't know what was funnier...... Lisa putting a sock on Trent's private parts or hearing Trent say johnson or just the whole situation.
All I could say to Lisa was,"Do you want to blog about this or should I?" She told me I could do it.

Kids are so funny. If you don't have a child in your life,go borrow someone elses. They're a continuous source of laughter.

Telephone telepathy

Wednesday evening at 4:45pm I was home talking to Rich and Lillianna. Suddenly,I walked away from them, sat by the phone and called my mom's cell phone. She has been visiting from Florida since the 1oth.

Mom picked up the phone and asked,"Why did you just call me?"
The truth was I really didn't know. I just turned away from my family and headed toward the phone and called. So I said,"I don't know. Why?"

Mom said,"I didn't know if you were home or on the road so I tried looking up your cell phone number. I couldn't find it. I pressed a button on my phone and the screen went crazy so I put it down on the seat and said,'Robin....call your mother!' Then the phone rang and I said,'Make this be Robin,' and it was!"

I said,"Well I guess I got your message!"
This happens every now and then with us and with my sister Kara too. I love when I walk over to the phone to call Kara and the phone rings and it's her.

I think people have a very strong heart connection to one another and they don't even realize just how strong that connection is. We kind of take it for granted but it's really quite a miracle.

Today my best friend Liane called to say that she created a new piece of jewelry and she wanted to me to help her name it. When I heard her message the word dream immediately came into my mind. I called her back and she said she had kind of named it already but she wanted my input. The name she came up with had the word dream in it. I told her I had already heard dream when I listened to her message so we both knew her name for the piece was the correct one! Usually her names include words like peace,breeze,mist,sea...things like that. It was interesting that we both came up with dream. That's why we're best friends!

We've all shared something like this with another person. I'd love to hear your story of telepathy!

No work? No school? No way!!!

It's true.......believe it or not my office will not be open tomorrow and the schools will be closed in our town. First of all,in the 17 years that I have been at this job they only closed ONCE ahead of time due to a blizzard warning. Unfortunately,the day of the blizzard we only got about an inch. My company vowed to never do that again so when I got the call from my manager's wife this evening,I was stunned. But hey....no work for me. We have to use our PTO hours to make up for it but that's okay since I have plenty.

At 8:50pm I received an automated message from Lillianna's school saying that it would be closed tomorrow. She was thrilled. The news says that after midnight we should get a few inches of snow and then by morning we should be getting one inch every hour.

I've lived in Massachusetts my whole life so my attitude is maybe it'll snow....maybe it won't.
I guess we'll know soon enough. As for me and Lillianna......tomorrow is pajama day!!! Yahoo!!

A very sore throat

Lillianna is home sick today. The school nurse called me yesterday at work at 9:20am.......35 minutes after I arrived. She said Lillianna didn't feel well and she looked pale. I went to pick her up thinking she was probably run down and tired from her vacation. I tried to pace her with all her activities but she was quite busy.

She got home and immediately changed into her jammies. After lunch she fell asleep for 2 hours. I figured by morning she'd be fit as a fiddle and ready for school. At 3:30am she woke up with a raging sore throat and couldn't swallow. She sat up watching t.v. and sucking on a lozenge. When she was done,she went back to sleep. I knew she wouldn't be going to school today.

She complained that her ears were crinkling and that was my signal to call her doctor and make an appointment. I grew up with crinkling ears which meant and ear ache was fast approaching. Lillianna has walked in my footsteps.....stupid footsteps! Ear aches suck!!

She went to see Dr. Fernandez who we both adore. She is the best doctor ever! She said Lillianna's throat was very red but that her ears looked ok. I told her that Lillianna feels the ear pain 2 days before a doctor can see the redness. I learned that from Lillianna's previous doctor. I always ended up taking her for an appointment and then returning 2 days later and sure enough that 2 days showed the redness. Dr.Fernandez said she wouldn't wait 2 days to prove that and immediately wrote a prescription for an antibiotic. I totally love a doctor who respects the mother's input. She's known us for about 5 years so she knows I'm not just trying to medicate my child for no reason.

Lillianna is now resting on the couch and she's about to fall asleep. A drowsy 10 year old is a sick one,that's for sure.

The good news is that I called the payroll manager at my work just to check if I had a few sick hours available to cover my 3 days off which is about 15 hours. My manager had told me that since I went part time in June I wouldn't have any benefits until one year from June which isn't for another 5 months. When the payroll manager checked she said I had 48 hours of paid time off. I was stunned!!!! I thanked her and felt a huge burden lift from my shoulders. I panicked for a second when she called back and said she had made a mistake. I held my breath until she said,"You actually have 80 hours of paid time off. I miscalculated and didn't figure in that you've been here 17 years." I think I literally jumped for joy!

So now I can relax and take care of my sick little girl and not worry that my pay check will be 15 hours short. It's such a relief.

Lillianna and I will be resting for the next 3 days. That's not so bad after all.

Lying isn't funny

I just read that a 6 year old girl wrote an essay for a contest to win Hannah Montana concert tickets and she won. She started her essay by saying her dad died in Iraq recently but guess what? It's a huge lie! She made it all up! If this links you can read the story here.

There are many people who have lost loved ones in this war and it's sad and heartbreaking and it changes lives forever! Pretending to have a dead father is nothing to lie about in order to win freakin' concert tickets for your 6 year old.

It had to be the mother's idea because what child would think up such a lie? The mother said,"We did whatever we could to win."

You know,Lillianna wanted to go to Hannah Montana too but I didn't have the money to take her. If there had been a contest to enter of course she would've tried by saying that she was a huge fan and knew all Hannah's songs and stuff like that. She would never say her father died in Iraq. I would have her in therapy if she came up with that on her own.

This story just makes me sick. The essay people are thinking about taking away the tickets. DUH! Of course take them away and punish this horrible mother. They should make her volunteer in a Veterans Hospital for the rest of her life. She thinks dying in Iraq is something to lie about? She should be ashamed of herself.

What do you think should happen to this mother and daughter?

That cute little short boy

Lillianna and I went to lunch at Friendly's today. She was doing a word scramble of state capitals such as: NTOBSO,Massachusetts would of course be Boston.
She skipped one that she didn't know and when she went back to it I tried to give her a hint. She was trying to figure out ERTTNNO,New Jersey.

I said,"It's part of your cousin's name." Lillianna frowned and asked,"My cousin?" Obviously still stumped I tried again.
"He's that cute little short boy with the spikey hair."
Lillianna asked,"Trent?" Then she said,"Ohhhhhh....Trenton New Jersey!" Then she started laughing,"That cute little short boy with the spikey hair???? That's so funny!"

I said,"Ya...it kinda is. I guess I'll blog about it!"
So I did.

Where have all the blogs gone?

I had a few extra minutes today to read some of my favorite blogs. The ones I clicked on haven't had a new post in months. I'm not casting stones since I've been slacking on my own blog but I am curious as to what has been happening with all these writers.

Since I've been working 30 hours a week since August,I haven't had the energy to write much. My "free time" is spent trying to wind down after a hectic day. Most days I'm constantly on the go.

Have you noticed that some of your favorite blogs don't even exist anymore?

Tricky mom!

This morning Lillianna informed me that she found my Christmas list. It has everyone's name and what I bought for them so that I could make sure that I didn't leave anyone out. I had to laugh when she said,"You listed everything by my name in Hebrew!!"

I've been doing that for the past 7 years because she's been able to read for all those years and it's hard to keep things from her. I also put secret things on the calendar in Hebrew because it's only for me to know and no one else.

I like to think I still have a few tricks up my sleeve!

Ornaments on the tree

For the past few years,buying the tree and decorating it was something I didn't participate in. It wasn't a conscious boycott or anything like that it's just that I worked every weekend so Rich and Lillianna picked out the tree on a Saturday and when I got home on Sunday it was all done. All I had to do was sit back and enjoy the beauty.

Since I don't work all weekend anymore,just an occasional 4 hours on a rare Saturday,I was home when Rich and Lillianna began to decorate the tree today. In the olden days when I decorated the tree,each and every ornament was in it's original box and I always wrote who it was from and the year. If it was a homemade ornament it would be wrapped in tissue paper and placed in a labeled plastic Ziploc bag. After Christmas I would take each ornament down and put it back where it went for the next year.

Today,I opened our Rubbermaid Christmas containers and I found.....CHAOS!!!!!!
My beautiful seraphim ornaments from our first Christmas were out of their individual velvet box and lay wrapped in tissue paper in the big container. I quickly unwrapped each one and found 2 of their boxes. The last one had to stay in the tissue paper. I don't know what happened to her box over the years.

I picked out the ornaments and handed Lillianna the light ones since the heavy ones fall off the tree even if we put them in the way back of the branch. I miss my old fake tree. It was bittersweet to find all the ornaments that said "Baby's 1st Christmas" or had Lillianna's name on it from 1997. She was only 3 months old.
Now she's 10 and that first Christmas seems light years away.

Every year I have tried to buy an ornament for me and Rich that says how many Christmases we've been together. This will be our 13th married Christmas. It seems so weird. When we were in Disney for our honeymoon I bought so many bride and groom ornaments that said "Our 1st Christmas." We were only married one month before we celebrated Christmas that year. I was so excited.

I'll make sure that I am always a part of putting up the ornaments from now on.It's important to remember the happy years that we have shared together and know that even though we have gone through some tough times,we are still here to decorate the tree again this year.

Obscure Christmas movies

I've never liked the Christmas cartoons that most people look forward to watching every year. Even as a child I didn't like them. When Rich and I got married 13 years ago,he brought with him a dowry which consisted of every Christmas cartoon ever made.
I figured he had them from childhood and we would save them for our child someday.

We were only married for one month when December rolled around and Rich popped a cartoon video in the VCR. He had seen them all so many times that he talked and sang along with the entire movie. He found it to be incomprehensible that I didn't like these movies and not only that,I didn't know who the Heat Miser was. He wasn't real. Why would I care about him?

I'm not anti-Christmas movies. My favorite one of all time is Miracle on 34th Street. I love the original not the remake! It's such a great story. We saw The Santa Clause in Disney on our honeymoon and we all love that movie and watch it often.

When Rich asked me if I liked any Christmas movies I had to think for a minute because the one I waited for every year is never on tv and hasn't been on for years.

It was Santa Clause Conquers the Martians.
I just found out Pia Zadora played one of the martian girls. I loved this movie as a kid although looking back,boy,was this the cheesiest movie or what? The martians wore helmets with antennas on top. Their faces were painted a weird green. I'm dying to buy this video!

My next favorite movie which no one on this planet has ever heard of was called The Christmas That Almost Wasn't. According to the info,I would've only been 3 years old when this came out and yet,I can remember the commercial for this movie so vividly. I have never met anyone who has ever heard of these two movies.

Please tell me there is someone out there who has heard or seen these movies.